Midnight Decadence
by Lilith617
Summary: Bella Cullen and her family arent the only family in Forks with a secret. Will Bella be able to withstand the tempting blood of newcomer Edward Masen, while unravelling the mystery behind his facade? Twilight with a twist. OOC/AU/COMPLETE
1. Chapter 1: First Sight

_All similarities, and/or likeness to The Twilight Saga, including Midnight Sun, are the sole property of Stephenie Meyer. This includes characters, story lines, and dialogue, or direct quotes. All musical references, or quotes, are the direct property of the Musician and/or Author(s) that created them. I do NOT profit in any way, and all creative rights to the characters/lyrics belong to their original  
creator(s). __However, this FanFic is ALL MINE (**Lilith617: March 2010**)_

**BIG THANK YOU **to my beta-extraordinaire **ShamelesslyObsessed**, for taking the time to make this PERTY!  
Also, BIG thank you to **queenxochitl**, and **Moochini **for pre-reading and sharing your thoughts.

This story is a **TWIST **on the original. It will be **OOC **canon, with major deviations.  
**This is NOT the Twilight you are used to**...be prepared ;)

**WARNING **this story is rated M because it is just that, MATURE.

If you find obscene language, and sexual situations offensive **DO NOT **read on.

**DISCLAIMER: THE BELLA IN THIS STORY IS NOT THE BELLA YOU ARE USED TO. THIS STORY IS OOC FOR A REASON...KEEP THAT IN MIND WHEN READING. IF ITS NOT YOUR SORT OF THING THEN CLICK ON THAT LITTLE 'X' IN THE UPPER RIGHT HAND CORNER. ****For those of YOU that are interested. I'd like to formerly introduce you to Cursella =)**

**~~Enjoy~~**

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"_Did you think it's cool to walk right up  
To take my life and fuck it up  
Well did you?_

_I HATE YOU_  
_  
I've slept so long without you_  
_It's tearing me apart, too_  
_How'd it get this far,_  
_Playing games with this old heart?_

_I've killed a million petty souls,_  
_But I couldn't kill you._  
_I've slept so long without you._

_I see Hell in your eyes_  
_Taken in by surprise_  
_Touching you makes me feel alive_  
_Touching you makes me die inside…"_

**_Slept So Long: Jay Gordon_**

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**1. First Sight**

Purgatory.

If there were such a place, this was it.

_High School._

Even if I wanted to, I could not escape the mundane, tedium that was Forks High. Especially _not _today.

Today the monotony was ever present; erupt with the surge of voices, both internal and external. Each one on repeat, saying or picturing the new addition to our shit hole of a school.

I had seen him through the majority of the female population's thoughts. An ordinary human male. One that had already been married off, involved in a threesome, and spanked- to name a few. These were the asinine thoughts plaguing the weak-minded folk here in good old Forks, Washington.

Most of these voices I ignored, basically out of boredom, but today no matter what I did the voices rang in my head like a siren call- not allowing me any reprieve.

I stared, consumed with the grooved indentation my black lacquered nail had been carving in the wooden desk below me, completely unaware of my actions. I quickly looked around, making sure that no one had seen my doing.

As always, everyone was oblivious. Not one daring to look in my direction as I watched them pile in the door, rushing to their seats before the final bell rang. Jessica Stanley, or Skank-ley, as I preferred to call her, along with her dimwit friend Lauren Mallory, took their seats in front of me. Talking about…_what else_?

"Have you seen him, the new guy?" Lauren asked Jessica, flinging her corn-silk, blonde hair over her shoulder, awaiting Jessica's nasally reply. A tidal wave of pungency flew in my direction and I quickly held my breath, dropping my head and allowing the thickness and the smell of strawberries that wafted from my hair to curtain some of the obnoxious blow. The rotten combination of Lauren's perfume, mixed with the undesirable scent of her blood, made me want to regurgitate the elk blood that still sat laden in my stomach.

I moaned in protest, keeping my head hidden as the bell rang, leaving me no other option but to endure the torment I was being dealt. Reluctantly, I opted to hold my breath- something I rarely did in school for fear of looking inhuman- and tried to relax; settling in for what would probably be the longest hour of my existence.

"Hello, Jess. I'm talking to _you._" Lauren waved what was supposed to be a perfectly manicured hand before Skank-ley's face, finally gaining her attention.

"Oh, yeah. The new guy…he is _totally _fuck-able, what's his name again?" Jessica asked, not surprising me in the least with her reference. Of course she thought he was '_fuck-able_'. In fact, that was _all _she was thinking and _had _been thinking.

This poor human was merely a sheep amongst wolves and he didn't even know it.

"His name is Edward Masen. He's the new Police Chiefs son. Apparently, he just moved here from Phoenix. Though it sure doesn't look like it. He's pale as shit," Lauren said leaning into Jessica, whispering into her ear, "He could probably pass for a Cullen," she snickered, nodding towards my direction. I had all I could not to rip her throat out where she sat. In addition, as if that wasn't enough, I now had a name to go with the nauseating vision's Skank-ley's mind was currently assaulting me with.

A part of me, though extremely small, was starting to feel bad for this newcomer. He had already fucked Skank-ley in every orifice imaginable and the poor guy didn't even get to enjoy it. Just like Skank-ley- that selfish whore was known to reap all the benefits in her conquests.

Thankfully, Mr. Varner brought the class to attention, but that still didn't stop the onslaught coming from the sleazebag twins, it merely intensified them as they succumbed to their fantasies mentally.

Their thoughts were like a stabbing migraine. The more they sat in silence, the more vile imagery spewed my way. I tried in vain to clear my head of their incessant voices, reciting the alphabet in every language I had known, followed with the first two chapters of Wuthering Heights. But even that couldn't quiet their internal squabbling. By the time I had begun Shakespeare's Othello, I became amazed at just how well there attention to the detail of this newcomer had been, especially given the fact that they didn't have a functioning brain cell between them.

"Give me a _fucking _break," I mumbled under my breath, massaging my temples as visuals of this _Edward _hit me now from every angle. I had seen his face, _his ass_. What appeared to be reddish-brown hair? A lean, tall stature…

_Ugh_!

There was _nothing _special about him; he was _mediocre _at the least. Just a normal, _human, _seventeen-year-old, _boy_. I couldn't understand what the big _fucking _deal was.

The ache in my head grew exponentially as the repetitive expectations of the poor schmuck continued to ooze from these mindless drones. It seemed the whole fucking school was wetting their pants for this walking piece of decaying flesh, even the guys!

_Fucking pathetic_.

"Mr. Varner?" I raised my hand, head down as I felt the whole class shift their sorry asses to see the pale, mute girl finally speak. I clenched my teeth, _trying _to block out the trivial thoughts surrounding me,

"Yes, Miss Cullen?" Mr. Varner's lean figure went from lax to rigid within seconds. I looked up at him hoping to further his discomfort as he backed himself against the blackboard, showing him a sliver of a smile.

_...What is wrong with this girl? Why is it that she needs to look at me as if I am something to eat?_

I laughed silently, feeding off his obvious fear.

"May I be excused, sir? I am not feeling…_quite myself_."

_...Pssh. When does she ever?_

A lone male thought entered my head, and I quickly looked around to see just whom would dare test me, before looking back at Mr. Varner. Unbeknownst to me, he had been dismissing me, rudely, with his hand.

_Schmuck_.

I left the classroom in a hurry. My head down, humming the piece I had been working on earlier this morning on my piano. I quickly strode through the hallway, walking towards the parking lot. My car, my safe haven, already in my line of sight through the open doorway. I took an unneeded deep breath as I exited the building, pausing for a second as I heard my name.

"_That_ my dear friend _is _Bella Cullen. But, I'll tell you now, so you avoid heartbreak. Don't even waste your time, bro. She _doesn't _date. Apparently none of the guys here are _good-looking _enough for her. But, _damn_, what I wouldn't give…"

Mike Newton.

His revolting oily face, with pubescent pimples, flickered behind my clenched eyelids. I turned around to see whom exactly he was word vomiting on but luckily missed them as they rounded the corner behind me, heading towards the Cafeteria.

With the loud offensive ding of the bell, signaling that class had ended, I continued toward my car stopping midway before turning back towards the school- contemplating on joining my siblings for our usual prop lunch, and _maybe _to further eavesdrop on Newton's thoughts...even if repulsive. I was slightly curious as to who he had been talking shit to. No doubt this _Edward _person. Might as well enjoy some entertainment, right? See what the supposed _'fuck-able' _Edward had to say in return?

I thought better of the idea as I got closer to the Cafeteria building.

…_Edward Masen. Oh. My. God…_

…_Look at his eyes, they're gorgeous. Maybe I should say Hi…_

…_I wonder if he has a girlfriend. _

"Ugh! Forget it." I threw my hands up in disgust, and for the _second _time today began the walk back to the parking lot.

_...Bella, did you see the new guy? _I groaned, as a familiar mental voice alerted me. _Reflex action_. I turned facing my sister, Alice. Her arm tightly wrapped around her mate, Jasper. She was wearing her ever present grin, her lithe frame practically tip toeing on air, as Jasper's lips held a firm line-fighting to maintain normalcy as well as his instinctual hunger.

I sighed. He was suffering, still finding Carlisle's diet hard to live by. Not that I didn't want to rip the jugular from some of these assholes throats myself and savor a _real _meal...I just couldn't, out of respect for my family, specifically Carlisle.

I stopped, eyeing Alice dejectedly, a snarl escaping my lips as they made there way to the center of the parking lot where I stood. "Please, not you too?" I asked pained, trying to avoid staring at Jasper for too long, something I had been doing more often as of late. I blame it solely on the fact that I _still _am the only vampire in my coven without a mate. I have needs. Needs that are difficult to meet…by myself. And with the shortage of male vampires in the area and all, what is a girl to do?

_I know, who would have guessed, right?_

Believe me when I say I have even gone as far as thinking of going the whole succubus route. I had even gotten as far as strategizing. Going to remote towns, far from Forks, scouring for men, my soon to be prey. _Believe me, _I have, unbeknownst to Carlisle of course.

However, right as I am about to go for it...I stop. I just don't trust myself with human men, not in a sexual way. And besides, I have never had a human, no less a human _male_, intrigue me enough for me to even think of fucking him.

_Ugh! _

The same cant be said for Tanya, Kate, and Irina- three of my distant relatives. They take pride in their catch, maintaining control at all times. They find human men irresistible, leaving them insatiable. They thrive on the hunt and bask in their rewards.

"Whatever do you mean?" Alice asked, pulling me from my stupor. Her voice always had an airiness and playful quality to it, her sarcasm not lost on me though.

Alice knew full well the shit I had to deal with on a daily basis; having to listen to the pathetic excuse of humanity that walked these halls. Now add in _this _new development, and I was literally drowning in shit.

It was torture, and not the good kind.

The fact was: I _hated _high school.

No matter how many times I repeated it. I _still _fucking hated it.

I hated the teachers, the students. I even hated the damn mascot.

But, what I hated the most, more than anything? Was being able to hear everyone's goddamn thoughts...

_All. The. Time_.

It was like being stabbed with an ice pike, repeatedly. It was like a song you just couldn't get out of your head. It was never ending…and, today was the absolute worst.

Today I was a hairs breadth away form hopping a plane to Italy, and going before the Volturi. Maybe if I provoke them, _somehow_, they may just rip my fucking head off and then _finally_ I'd have some peace and fucking quiet.

"Screw you, Alice," I spat as I began walking away. I could feel Jasper trying to send calming waves in my direction but to no avail. I spun around on my heels, scratching the asphalt below, scowling at the honey blond man snickering before me.

"You empathic fuck! Why don't you send something more enjoyable my way, _hmm_?" I muttered under my breath, knowing both Alice and Jasper heard me. "Like lust. How 'bout that? Then you and I can play rodeo, and _you can be my steer," _I cooed, pointing my index finger at him before yelling with the worst fake southern drawl possible. "_Yee-ha, Motherfucker_." I began to make an imaginary lasso, throwing it at a now smirking Jasper, pretending to reel him in.

"Bella, _please_. So…I take it you're not going to lunch then, are you?" Alice scowled, swallowing hard as she ignored my continued blatant disrespect. "Come on, aren't you the _least bit _curious?"

"Nope, now fuck off," I sneered, giving her my middle finger, as I turned back towards my car keeping my finger high up in the air until I opened the driver side door to enter.

Once inside my comfort zone, I let the soft leather consume me. Turning on the new stereo that Emmet, my darling brother so kindly installed for me over the weekend, I slipped my Debussy CD in the slot, turning the volume knob to full blast. I sat, engrossed in the composition surrounding my senses for the better part of the hour before turning it off, basking in the silence that followed.

_Sigh_.

I was a distance away from the school, not close enough to hear the unwelcome buzzing. But, of course, just like my life, I could never catch a break.

As the first bell rang, I dragged myself from my warm confines, making my way back to the building. Two more classes and I could escape this hellhole.

I could see Alice, alone. A knowing smile on her face as she walked across the quad to her next class.

_...You should have come to lunch, Bella. This Edward is quite delectable to look at_...

"So I've heard, " I mumbled as a low growl rose up my chest. I picked up my pace, separating myself further from my pixie of a sister and what appeared to be her jumbled thoughts, until I heard them go silent.

Without hesitation, I twirled around to see my sister dead where she stoo, her face void of all emotion as she stared off into space, eyes glazed over.

I ran to her side as fast as was humanly possible, gripping her small upper arms once I reached her.

"Alice, I'm sorry. I was only kidding about Jasper earlier. You know that, _right_? "

_I had been kidding, hadn't I? _

Suddenly my stomach knotted. Had I made a decision to betray my sister and sleep with her mate? Oh, god. I could never.

_Could I?_

I bit my nails nervously, a human trait that had never left me, chipping away the black polish from its exterior. It was only a few minutes that Alice was "out" before she came to, but it had felt like an eternity.

"Bella?" she asked, looking at me inquisitively, "I think…I think you should go home. You're having a bad day today anyway, it's only fair."

Confused, I glared at her trying to comprehend what she was saying.

"Go home? Alice, you know I can't do that. With all the days we miss already, and Carlisle-"

"No, Bella. You're not understanding," she said through clenched teeth as students passing by watched our odd display. "Something is going to happen, Bella. I saw it. But it's…it's blurry," she looked around the quad; most of the students were in the buildings, heading to their designated classes.

"Our lives are about to change, Bella_. Irrevocably_. Your's the most," her words trailed off into a whisper, a whisper that only I could hear. I stood there dumbfounded as she began to walk away.

"What the fuck does that mean, Alice?" I all but yelled as she shrugged, returning to her normal exuberant self.

I bit my lip nervously, again another human trait that failed to leave me. I stood, alone, in the center of the quad frustrated with what Alice had said. I followed her with my eyes as she disappeared into the building leaving me with nothing more than another one of her vague predictions.

I adored my sister, with every bit of my being but sometimes her visions could be so ambiguous. Like the one time-

"Excuse me, Miss Cullen. Shouldn't you be getting to class?" I whipped my head around to find an unwavering Mr. Berty staring back at me. His arms wrapped across his chest, a huge grin on his face. I watched in disgust as he licked his lips wantonly.

"Yes, Mr. Berty," I hissed through gritted teeth, as his thoughts lingered on seeing my naked flesh beneath his pendulous abdomen.

I swallowed back the venom that had accumulated in my throat, gagging at the rancid hallucinations he was having. I quickly turned on my heel, heading back to building four, which I should have already been in, reciting the alphabets all over again.

_A, Be, Se, De…_

Biology was always an interesting class for me, I actually looked forward to watching a spastic Mr. Banner stumble over his words, not that I helped with that in any way. As usual, Mr. Banner was fishing through a stack of unorganized papers on his desk. And as usual, he was unable to find the sheet of paper that contained the lecture notes for the day. I slowly breezed by him, allowing my scent to linger over him like a mist, distracting him for more than a few seconds. When I sat in my seat, I looked up to see that I had accomplished my goal indeed. Mr. Banner had been dazzled. I loved doing that shit to him.

I watched the bustle of students entering as Mr. Banner shook off the remnants of my spell. Cringing when Mr. All-American himself, Mike Newton, eyed me immediately upon entering. He took his seat beside oil slick haired, Eric Yorkie and within seconds their conversation was about none other than…_who else?_

_Can this day get any worse?_

Stupid question, of course it can. Because right at that moment the man in question entered the room, trickling in with the remainder of the tardy students.

…_Great, even Bella finds something interesting in him…isn't it enough that half the girls in the school are swooning over him, _now _my Bella has to, too?_

Fiercely, I looked at Newton who caught my glare and immediately lowered his head. I turned my attention back to the ill-famed human before me, trying to ascertain exactly what was so special about him.

I watched him hand Mr. Banner his schedule and laughed as Mr. Banner failed to locate his pen. He was standing off to Mr. Banner's side, his head slightly bowed as he watched Mr. Banner dubiously.

I had not seen his face yet, but then again, I wasn't paying much attention. What I _could _see, or _chose _to see from his profile was that his jaw was much defined, full of at least a days worth of stubble. His lips pouted as he shifted uncomfortably from foot to foot. His already taut jaw tightening, clenching more as his impatience grew.

Finally, Mr. Banner found his pen, signing the small sheet of white paper before handing it back to _Edward_. He was thinking of where to place him, glancing around the room until his eyes inadvertently stopped on the empty stool beside me.

_Of-fucking-course_.

I sighed heavily, moving the empty stool that sat next to me as far away as possible-without pushing it completely into the aisle. When I looked back up, Mr. Wonderful was facing forward, gazing in my direction. His face alight with the prospect of sitting next to the girl with the milky complexion, I'm sure.

I could hear each person's thought in the room. Each one centered on the pale boy before them, their thoughts spewing like bile. Curious, I tried to zero in on his internal voice, but was met with silence. I easily heard him speaking with Mr. Banner, his tone smooth, masculine. I used what I heard and tried to pinpoint his thoughts more clearly, placing the external voice with the internal.

Still _nothing_.

_That's strange_. I thought, mildly disappointed, as I pulled my lower lip between my teeth, somewhat frustrated. I peered towards the front of the classroom where _Edward _was still speaking to Mr. Banner. They were both laughing, talking about insignificant bullshit.

It was then, as I began to completely scrutinize him, that I _really _saw him. Skank-ley and Ho-Bag's memories didn't do the human boy any justice at all. His hair was bronze, a coppery brown with red highlights. Each strand unusually spiked and pointing in disarray. He was definitely tall, with broader shoulders than originally thought. He was no Emmett, but could definitely hold his own. His nose ended at a point, and he wore a partial smile on his face...a smirk.

I watched, awed of the human boy that had gotten my total attention, as he began to walk towards _our _table, stopping momentarily to talk to Newton as he did.

Without warning a feeling of need erupted within my stomach, setting of a slow building fire to course throughout my being.

_Hello, Edward _'fuck-able'_Masen…_

Within seconds, my body began to feel like a furnace. My mouth salivated uncontrollably as a scent like no other filled the moist cavities of my nostrils. I closed my eyes, taking a long drag of the air through my nose. My eyes rolling before I opened them once more, roaming the small space to see exactly what it was that had me in such a tizzy. My body instinctively moved towards the aisle where _Edward _still stood talking with Newton. I was practically off my stool, my body alive with current. I tried to focus as _Edward _walked into the flow of heated air a vent was blowing in my direction.

_It was him._

I gasped, unneeded, as his scent hit me like a wrecking ball, knocking me through loop after loop. There were no words to describe exactly what his scent was doing to me, none at all.

In that instant, I had lost all shred of what little humanity I held.

In that instant, the only thing that mattered was the sweet syrup that lined his veins and would soon coat my throat.

_I was a predator, and he my prey._

I didn't care about the pathetic humans surrounding us. They were already collateral damage. I wouldn't even bother with their blood. A simple snap of their weak necks would suffice.

No, I just wanted _his _blood.

_All. Of. It._

And, I wanted it _NOW._

His thoughts meant absolutely nothing to me now as I envisioned my lips parted on the base of his neck, drinking from him, taking his essence into me while my hand gripped tightly in his _obvious _sex-hair.

_Sex_.

His smell was eliciting more than just a hunger to feed, but a raw emotion, nothing I'd ever felt before. His scent was seductive. Pulling me in, consuming me completely.

_Fucking human Incubus_. _Is that shit even possible?_

If I had known that someone, with blood so sweet, with a scent so decadent, _existed_…I would have searched for him long ago.

My mouth was arid, even with the abundance of venom coating it. I tried to hold my breath as he took the stool beside me.

_Yes, come sit next to the monster. _I thought, licking his scent from my lips. I could just imagine the taste of him once I drank from…

A look of concern etched his brows. That face, saving him a few moments longer, as he moved a little closer to where I sat. Scratching the metal legs of the stool against the linoleum of the floor as he did so. I had to turn away, keeping one hand covering my mouth, as the other gripped the underside of the lab table before us.

I chanced a breath and his scent swirled around me, nearly causing me to leap from my stool. I gripped the underside of the table harder, splintering the wood, leaving indentations of my fingertips in the aftermath.

I knew what I had to do, as he stole glances of me through his periphery.

_I had to kill him. And the rest of the students in the class. _

I began plotting as Mr. Banner began his lecture, apparently finding the notes in question. I decided I would kill _Edward _last. Get rid of the collateral damage first. Besides, I wanted to do more than just drink from him. I wanted to feel him inside of me. I wanted to make his body quake from my touch, and not just from fear, but also from lust. I wanted to make him scream my name before I sank my teeth into his sweet, sweet, flesh.

_Yes, the witnesses had to go first. _

I decided I would begin with blocking the door. Yes, of course, I couldn't have anyone escape now could I? Then maybe, I would start with the right side of the room, in the back of course. Yes, then the left. By that time there would be utter chaos, of that I was fucking certain. But, I could snap four, maybe five necks before that really happened. And how many were in here again? Oh yes, twenty.

_Fuck, my throat was on fire…_

I stopped my scheming, just for a moment, when the incessant vibration of my cell phone interrupted not just me.

"Are you going to get that?" The fucker asked sarcastically, looking at me with revulsion.

_That's right, baby. Hate. Me. _

Not only was I an inch away from taking his pathetic human life, but now I had the sweet mint of his breath fanning over my skin, absorbing into my pores.

I dared not look at him, I dared not…

_FUCK_!

His eyes were piercing. Emerald stones encased by long, thick lashes glaring back at me. I moaned slightly, fire burning through my empty veins, my mewl causing him to gasp, dazzling the fucker for all he was worth.

Quickly, I grabbed my phone, opening the text that had been waiting- it was from Alice.

**Please, Bella. Get out of there. Don't do this to Carlisle. I am waiting outside.**

_Carlisle…_

For one short second, I could see clearly. Seeing past the human beside me, and the helpless victims surrounding me. I could see two faces. The first being myself, or who I used to be. A red-eyed monster with a long list of rationalized, justified murders under my belt.

The other face was Carlisle's.

In a moment, everything that I had done, all the years spent with my creator, my father...would be non-existent. My eyes would glow red once more, as they should.

Even after all I had done, all the bullshit I had put my family through…Carlisle forgave me. And I knew that as fucked as it was, he would forgive me for what I was about to do now.

Alice was right. My life was about to change. But didn't I have say? Wasn't this not _my _twisted fucking existence, for me to decide my own fate?

I thought for a moment, with my breath still held tight. I looked to the boy beside me. His body hunched, head resting in the palm of his left hand, the other writing notes. I observed with a watering mouth the rapid pulsation just below the transparent flesh of his neck. I wanted so bad to just taste…

_What the fuck was I thinking? _

I couldn't kill these people. I couldn't kill _Mr. Fuck-able_.

No, I would not allow him to win

With my body wound tighter than my piano's wires, I looked away, focusing my attention on the rain that fell upon the window. When I looked to him again he was sitting upright, his face tautly stern as he held the bridge of his nose in clear frustration.

I needed to get out of here, sooner then later. Without a second thought, I raised my hand, interrupting Mr. Banners lecture. He along with the rest of the class looked at me confused.

"Mr. Banner, I don't feel very well. May I be dismissed?"

Mr. Banner's thoughts quickly turned to concern as he thought silently about the darkened circles surrounding my eyes. He shook his head, "sure, Bella. Feel better."

I rose from my seat feeling utterly defeated and ashamed, holding my breath as I made my way to the door, not stopping once to look back at the creature that had just brought a whirlwind of fuckery into my life.

And as I walked outside into the onslaught of rain, my sister leaning against my car waiting for me, I could not help but feel an all-consuming hatred wash over me with every drop.

_Why me, why now?_

Out of all the places, why _here_?

For one thing, I was sure: I fucking _hated _Edward Masen.

But, I would not let him ruin me. I also would not allow this monstrosity of a sickness control me either. I would not disappoint my family. I would not disappoint Carlisle.

Not now, not ever.

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**Okay...sooooooo?**

**Please let me know what you think, as I am not a mind reader like some =) Depending on the response depends on the future of this story. **

**Also, please stop by queenxochitl profile, whom I have just began beta-ing for. Check out her first FanFic, "Tomb Robber" Its different and exciting...hurry and go, link is on my profile...hit that little green button first! **


	2. Chapter 2: Open Book

**I do NOT profit from writing this. All creative rights to the characters/lyrics, original plot and/or dialogue, belong to their original  
creator(s). However, this FanFic is ALL MINE.(Lilith617: March 2010)**

**BIG thank you to those that have added this crazy story to your fav's as well as your alerts.**

**THANK YOU to queenxochitl for pre-reading and boosting my confidence, i heart ya! AND if you havent headed over to her profile WHY NOT??? See below for a summary of her amazing story!!!**

**And the saga continues...**

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_"The hunger inside, given to me,_  
_Makes me what I am._  
_Always it is calling me,_  
_For the blood of man._

_They say I cannot be this,_  
_I am jaded, hiding from the day._  
_I can't bear, I cannot_  
_Tame the hunger in me._  
_Oh, I say I did it._  
_Always searching,_  
_You can't fuck with fate._  
_So instead you'll taste my PAIN!!!_

_The hunger inside, given to me_  
_Makes me feel alive._  
_Always out, stalking prey,_  
_In the dark I hide._  
_Feeling, falling, hating,_  
_Feel like I am fading,_  
_Hating LIFE!!!"_

**_ Redeemer: Marilyn Manson_**

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**2. Open Book**

I rushed to my car, Alice's brow scrunched with concern as I gasped at the wet air, feeling as though I had been suffocating.

"Bella, what the hell just happened?" Alice asked, alarm clearly visible in her voice.

I shook my head, unable to verbalize the mayhem that had just taken place.

"You're _leaving_." She whispered, her eyes cast downward. She was telling me not questioning me. I clenched my fists tightly, looking away from the sadness that didn't belong contorting her face.

"Am I?" I asked, softly.

Alice didn't answer, but showed me. I could see clearly, through her thoughts, me sneaking into Chief Masen's small home. Edward's back facing me as I stalked him from the shadows. I watched motionless as he bustled around the quaint kitchen before taking him where he stood. I had to squeeze my eyes shut tight when I saw the crimson liquid that was his blood splattered like paint across the yellow cupboards.

_What a fucking waste…_

"Alice, STOP, _please_." I groaned, reeling myself in, before her vision shifted. I was on an empty highway, snow on either side. The speedometer read close to two-hundred miles per hour.

"I will miss you." She said somberly, and the sudden influx of determination soared within me as I looked towards the building that housed the main office.

"No, Alice. No you wont. Because I'm not fucking going anywhere."

I began walking towards the office, a drenched Alice in tow.

"You want to _switch _classes?" She asked incredulously, seeing the choice I had already made, "do you think that will be enough, Bella?" She continued, the sound of our wet feet sloshing in our shoes as we trekked through puddle after puddle.

"I hope so, Alice. I really fucking do." I replied, walking a little too swiftly across the parking lot. I would do everything I could to avoid _Edward Masen_.

I would avoid him like the fucking plague that he was.

When we entered the office it was empty except for the secretary, Mrs. Cope. She ran her fingers through her unnaturally red hair, widening her eyes at the two drenched females before her.

"_Oh my_, ladies. You are both _soaked_!" She cried.

_Wow! Impeccable fucking observation skills, Mrs. Cope._

"Please, come sit down by the heater. Is everything okay?"

Mrs. Cope maternally gestured to the small space heater that sat towards the side of the room. Alice accepted, lithely moving towards the wall nearest its draft before leaning against it with arms crossed. I remained, standing before Mrs. Cope, my leather jacket sodden and ruined, dripping endless beads of water on the already stained carpet below. Mrs. Cope's eyes fluttered behind her thick glasses, uncomfortably.

…_So odd, these Cullen's…_

"I was wondering if you might be able to help me with my schedule, Mrs. Cope?" I asked with the softest, most inviting voice I'd ever displayed.

"Sure, Isabella. What can I do?"

I swallowed hard, pseudo nerves taking over, "I was thinking…since I've already taken Biology…in the past. Would it be too much, if I switched to a senior level science, like Physics, perhaps?"

…_Poor girl, with her perfect four-point-oh. All of the Cullen's, they belong in College…I hear the teachers complain…And, why does she look so sick? Even her eyes…dark like coal…_

"Miss Cullen, I am aware that you and your…um…_siblings_," she said nervously, eyeing Alice from the corner of her eye. "Took accelerated courses back in Alaska. But, unfortunately there is no way that I can advance you. There simply isn't enough room. The class is already at its limit." She dropped her head, returning to the stack of papers in front of her.

"Mrs. Cope, I wouldn't be any trouble at all." I near begged.

…_No of course you wouldn't, you would just upstage everyone in the classroom…_

"I'm sorry, Isabella. There is nothing I can do, school policy."

Mrs. Cope shrugged her shoulders as I held back the snarl that threatened to escape my lips, opting to clench my fists instead.

"It's _Bella_, Mrs. Cope. And, if that's the case, I'd like to drop the class than."

I heard Alice gasp in the corner, her thoughts rabid with visions that were too jumbled to understand.

"I'm sorry, _Bella_." Her lips pursed as she spoke, "But, I cannot allow you to do that. Not without speaking with your parents first."

"_Please_."

I would beg on hands and knees, I didn't fucking care. I would do whatever needed to be done to make sure that I was a sizable distance away from…

It only took a second for everything in the room to change. The air, the atmosphere: my fucking reason for being here.

…_Bella, he's here…_

The gust of cold wind that flew through the room, rustled the papers on the desk, swirling a delicious aroma throughout the small space. I stiffened, knowing that scent, _his _scent.

It tickled my nostrils, seeped into my pores. I could taste it on my tongue….saccharine. It percolated around me. Hanging on every particle of air in the diminutive, hot room.

…_Bella? We need to go…NOW!_

Alice was screaming at me mentally, slowly making her way to my side as she did, ready to pounce on me at an instant. My eyes instinctually rolled and I inhaled deeply, smiling with the keen sense that satisfaction was not so far away. I turned, acknowledging that it was him that stood behind me, haunting me.

When I glanced over my shoulder there he stood, in all his heavenly fucking glory. Arms angrily woven across the chest of his soaked charcoal shirt, white slip of paper grasped within his long fingers, hair dripping and flat from the rain. He glared at me through the thick wet locks that veiled his eyes, reciprocating the ferocious look I was now sending his way.

_And was that a fucking smirk, too?_

The monster within goaded me.

_Do it_, the monster cooed, _kill Mrs. Cope, than take what is rightfully yours. _

My hand hovered above the desk, itching to reach over and take the chemical red hair before me, grip it tightly, than slam the face attached to it into the desk below.

_Do it…_

_Do it…_

"Come on, Bella." Alice interrupted, tugging inhumanly hard on my arm. "I'm sorry Mrs. Cope, my sister hasn't been _herself _all day. I do apologize. Come now, Bella. Let us get home so you can lie down."

"Thanks anyway," I spat at a now dumbfounded Mrs. Cope as Alice pulled me from the office, as I nearly snapped my teeth at Edward as we exited, though Alice made sure to keep us separated.

"You should just let me have him, Alice."

I hummed as we exited the building, grinning facetiously. Seduction oozed from my lips, and venom dripped from my tongue. I could feel it seeping from the corner of my mouth, dribbling down my chin. Even outside the building I could feel the pull, the magnetic force that drew me to him.

"Don't worry, Bella." Her voice exuded a newfound confidence. "You will have him. But, not here, and definitely not like this."

I looked up at her, knowingly. She was grinning ear to ear. I could only mirror her action, as the monster within me hungrily waited, full of anticipation.

_Yes, Alice. I will…But nothing like you've imagined._

****

My siblings, including Jasper, were already at the car by the time Alice and I arrived. The rain had let up, leaving behind a thick mist. Rosalie was already pitching a shit fit when we arrived, hissing incessantly as she ran her fingers through her now dampened curls..

As soon as we were in the car and away from Forks High, I felt my body relax. If a vampire could ever be exhausted, now was the time. My body felt like it had gone through a grinder, more than once.

I focused on Alice's visions. She wasn't allowing me to see much. But, what I could capture was Edward and I in my favorite meadow. I wanted to cringe when her vision displayed me with a smile on my face as Edward ran his fingers through my hair.

_A fucking smile, allowing my worst enemy to touch me…Abso-fucking-lutely NOT._

The ride home would have continued to be just wonderful, until my lovely brother Emmett opened his mouth. I heard him think it before he even spoke it.

"Hey, Jazz. Did you meet Edward Masen today?"

I wanted to scream. Alice was sat beside me in the passenger seat, I watched in my periphery as her body became rigid. She turned to face Emmett, before the blink of an eye, and was shaking her head at him, gesturing him to stop.

"Why!?! What the fuck?" Emmett complained, before Jasper could answer him. But I was well aware of what they were thinking.

They met _him_, and they fucking _liked _him.

I didn't open my mouth, instead my hands gripped the steering wheel, and my foot pressed the accelerator pedal further down, bringing our speed way past the allowed posted limit.

"Um, Emmett. Bella, has a _bad _reaction to Edward Masen. So maybe you and Jasper could discuss him later?"

Alice, ever the mediator.

Jasper sensing my discomfort, sent rippling waves of ease in my direction-and for once I accepted.

"Thank you," I mouthed through the rear view mirror, looking the honey blond directly in the eyes. Alice finally sensing my ease decided to speak for me, telling everyone what had occurred.

When we arrived home Carlisle was still at work. Alice had called him earlier informing him slightly of what had taken place. She had told him that I had calmed, and he said as soon as Dr. Gerandy came in to relieve him he would be home so that he and I could discuss what occurred in school.

Till then, I needed to vent. I needed to speak to someone who might possibly understand my situation on a personal level. So I called the only person that could.

_Tanya_.

Tanya was more than a distant relative. She was like my sister, my best friend. Whenever either of us had a problem, we were each others go-to-guy. So, it was only right that I go to her now. Especially since it had to do with a _human _male.

"Hey, Bells. How's my girl? I miss ya'." She almost cried into the phone.

I felt my dead heart shrink at her words. Remembering the promise I had made to her regarding coming to see her often after we left Denali. Its been well over a year and I still have yet to return.

"Tanya, some serious shit happened to me today…and…and I really don't know what to do."

I began at the beginning, telling her about the vile thoughts I had to listen to all day. I told her about Skank-ley's visions in particular. Of course Tanya laughed, "_fucking humans_," she said and I could not agree with her more. As I got to the part where Alice had her vision, warning me to go home, and the whole Biology class fiasco; the familiar feeling of unease settled heavily in my empty abdomen.

"Maybe I should just leave."

I whispered, knowing that if necessary I could go back to Denali. But as much as part of me wanted to run, the other part was curious. That part wanted to stay, let nature takes its course. Eat or be eaten.

_Fucking masochist._

"As much as I want your puny ass here, its not where you belong. You belong with your family there in Forks. I will tell you this, Bella. I know that you'll face this '_whatever-HE-is' _head on. That's the type of person you are, so don't let him change that. Do you understand me?"

"Mmhmm." I replied though my confidence for once was greatly lacking.

"Don't 'Mmhmm' me, Isabella Marie Cullen. Listen, you can make this work. Take it from me," she laughed, "the _original _succubus, remember? Its all about _self-control_."

Her tone became serious and I listened intently, like my whole existence depended on it. Because truthfully, it did.

"You need to get past the blood lust. Believe me when there's a will, there's a way. And it starts with going back to the source, which in this case is his scent."

"Tanya, that's impossible. Didn't you hear anything I just fucking _said_?"

"Of course I did. Now be quiet, and let me speak! You need to surround yourself with his scent. Small doses at first, than gradually increase over time. It's like getting someone to overcome an allergy. Same idea applies." I could hear the grin in her voice, as I pictured her white teeth as she smiled.

"Once you jump that little hurdle than on to the next…_SEX_."

"_Little!? _Tanya, I really don't think-"

"Shush, Bella. I do think. Do you have any idea how much hotter the sex will be with this human? Holy shit, your lust for his blood goes hand in hand with your lust for his body! Come on, you have to know how good that's going to be?"

I rolled my eyes as she continued, "damn, Bells. I wish I was you right now. I don't think I've ever had the two together, well…maybe, yeah okay I have. But definitely not as strong as what you just described. And besides, I don't drink and fuck anymore, I cant. Its bad for my reputation. I'm a good little succubus now. Hey, do you remember that guy Nick I told you about?"

And just like that our conversation shifted. Of course I still received _'pointers' _on how to overcome my _'allergy' _to _Edward Masen, _in the form of details of Tanya and Nick's sex life. Tanya's way of explaining things were childish, and tedious. Not the way someone with a PhD in everything you can possibly imagine would communicate. None the less, Tanya was absolutely right.

_Small doses. I can do that, _right_?_

_****_

I returned to school two days later. Allowing myself ample time to hunt and get my bearings together. Carlisle had told me numerous times that he would pull me out of school if I wanted, but I refused. I would not let Edward Masen win. I would do as Tanya said and fight this disease of a fucking human head on.

As soon as my heel hit the asphalt of the school parking lot my body tensed, awaiting the onslaught of thoughts that never arrived. Relieved I sighed heavily, shrugging at my all knowing sister.

"You're going to be okay." Alice breathed as Jasper held her arm, escorting her to the building.

"Of course I will be alright. Why the fuck wouldn't I be?"

Already she was annoying me with her doubts. I avoided reading her thoughts at all costs because of that, when a very unwelcome Mike Newton sidled up beside me.

"Hey, Bella. Where've you been? I missed you in class."

_Sure you did…fucking pervert_, I thought. Though his tone did seem genuine.

"Sick?" I replied, trying to avoid releasing all holy-hell on his pathetic ass. My reply came out as more of a question rather an answer and Newton looked at me perplexed. I began to further myself from him, or _tried _to be more precise, before his agonizing thoughts hit me full force. But as we walked towards the building, Newton's thoughts remained clean, as he faithfully stood by my side; exhibiting his Golden Retriever qualities.

"What, Newton?" I snapped, finally, stopping where I stood; inpatient with his clinginess. He looked back at me innocently, mouth agape.

…_Geesh, I just want to make sure you're alright…_

"Sorry, _fuck_. Its just been a shitty week." I mumbled, almost feeling bad for my behavior…_almost_. I had come to the realization as I walked into the building, with Newton as my unrelenting shadow, that Newton was…well, he was Newton. You either loved him or hated him. I chose the latter.

The day had actually started off without a hitch. The thoughts of Edward Masen had simmered down exponentially from two days ago, Forks was a small town so novelty items grew old rather quickly. Though, he still remained in most of the female's and some of the male's wet dream fantasies.

I made my way to lunch, sitting at my usual table with my siblings, finally feeling some semblance of normalcy. As usual, students avoided looking towards my family and I.

It was like their bodies went into self preservation mode when me or _any _of my family members were near.

_Smart_.

"He's coming, try to look human." Alice said quickly as everyone took their prop position. Rosalie began fiddling with her hair as she gazed into a compact mirror, Alice and Jasper snuggled into each other, whispering sweet endearments to each other, and Emmett immediately began launching french fries in my direction.

"Ass, she said look human, not act like a total douche." I sneered, picking up the fries and re-launching them in his direction. I could feel my body tense the instant he entered the room. I allowed myself a glance. Just one, almost gagging when I spotted him beside Skank-ley. They were walking languorously towards the lunch line, stopping behind the abundance of students, becoming part of the queue. Skank-ley stood disgustingly close to him, her fingers twirling a dingy lock of hair as she batted her eye lashes up at him.

…_You look like you're in pain, Sis…_

Emmett thought, and I turned to face him, completely unaware of the very inhuman expression I was wearing on my face.

"Thanks." I mumbled, before returning my attention back to the pathetic display of cat and mouse before me.

Skank-ley had been wondering aloud about Edwards lack of appetite. "Edward, aren't you going to eat?"

She asked, her voice whiny and high pitched. I listened intently, peeking behind the curtain of hair I allowed to frame my face.

"Actually, I feel sick. I think I'll just grab a coke." He retorted, his voice harsh. Curious, I allowed myself to get a better look at him as I shoved the safety of my tendrils behind my ears. I noticed immediately that the little bit of color he had last time I had seen him, had completely drained from his features. Leaving him as pale as Michelangelo's statue.

_I wonder if what's under the clothes are just as…_

For one minute second Skank-ley actually showed concern for the boy beside her. But, the emotion quickly dissipated into the normal porn she kept within her thoughts.

I didn't know why, but her fretfulness, even if miniscule, fucking infuriated me. And it shouldn't have. And, because of that blind fury, it took only seconds before I was fighting to contain the sudden urge to drag her away from him, snap her neck, than go back and stake my claim-making him mine.

If I was a male I'd be pissing all over him, just for good measure.

All barbaric thoughts aside, though. The boy _did _appear pale.

_Was the boy ill? Was he dieing?_

I thought panicked, sniffing the air for the scent of death which thankfully was not present. It was so fucking hard to tell anything with him, and that just pissed me off. Not being able to read him, _properly_, made my life even more difficult than it had to be. Not that anything he'd have to say would interest me in the least…

But, he was already so pale, skin translucent…_Fuck, why do I even give a shit? _

I made like I wasn't paying attention, though I was, as I visually followed Edward and Skank-ley to their table, an obvious unwilling Edward being towed in the process.

_Why the fuck is he sitting with her? Clearly he doesn't want to…_

Newton, Lauren, Eric, and Angela, all moved down one, allowing the newcomer a place to sit.

Edward's back was facing me, allowing me more secretive glances, which I took. It also allowed me to hear his conversation more clearly, given the fact that I _still _couldn't hear the fuckers thoughts. Something even Carlisle couldn't understand after I had explained it to him.

…_Are you going to stare at him all day, Bella? Didn't your mother ever teach you not to play with your food…_

Rosalie thought, laughing aloud after. I turned to face her, smiling mischievously as I did.

"Yes, I plan to do just that..._both _in fact."

Rosalie smirked, knowingly. As much as she tried to hide it, she was just as fucked as the rest of us. I remember the stories she had told me about how her and Tanya, how they would taunt their prey, their _human _prey. They would spend hours, nipping, adoring, and bedding unknowing human males. Silently, and secretly drinking from them. Draining them as they drove them to orgasm, before drinking them completely dry.

Once she met Emmett all that ceased. Though, she did frequent the idea as much as I.

Ignoring the beginning banter of my siblings behind me, I returned to my post, perturbed at what I may have missed.

"_God_, what is it about her?" Skank-ley asked Edward sarcastically. She pointed towards our table with her head, and I quickly looked away, making myself inconspicuous.

_Shit…_

"What?" He asked innocently, not flinching to even look in my direction.

"Bella Cullen, she keeps staring at you."

There was silence for a few seconds before he finally spoke. "Hmm, does she look pissed?"

_Huh?_

Now completely engrossed, not that I really cared though. I tried to focus solely on their conversation, which was becoming a disastrous feat.

"I cant tell, why would she look pissed?" Skank-ley asked, and he shrugged before taking a sip from his soda can. "I don't think she really likes me," he replied, mouth full of the acidic liquid.

_Fucking-disgusting-animal-that-I-will-eventually-drain-the-life-from._

"Edward, let me fill you in on a secret, okay?" He nodded his head and she leaned closer into him.

_Whore_.

"The Cullen's _do not _notice anyone enough to like them. _Especially, _Bella Cullen."

Her words cut through me like a knife. Cauterizing my flesh as they dug deeper within.

_Is that what people thought… _

This bitch had no clue as to why my family and I chose to keep to ourselves. Or refuse to take _notice _of any of the pathetic waste that resided in this town. If she only knew how dangerous we are, what we're capable of, she wouldn't be opening her fucking trap.

"But, damn Edward, It looks like Bella has _definitely _noticed you. She is _still _staring." Skank-ley laughed, looking directly at me and I smiled in return waving a little hello before blowing her kiss. I didn't need to have Jasper's empath skills to know I had frightened the shit out of her with my gesture.

"Well, how 'bout this. Maybe if _you _stop staring, she'll stop." Edward said sarcastically as he rose from the table, soda can in hand.

_Touché, Mr. Fuck-able. Touché._

I followed him with my eyes as he poured the remaining contents into the trash before leaving the Cafeteria-twenty minutes too soon, never to come back.

After reassuring Rosalie for the umpteenth time that I would not ruin our lives, which would cause us to move again if I went to Biology: I was on my way.

I sighed heavily, holding that last breath within my lungs as I entered the warm classroom. Edward was already at _our _table, doodling on a piece of paper before him, while Mr. Banner handed out Microscopes for the days Lab assignment.

I snuck behind him, dragging my stool away from the table, scratching the linoleum as I did. Alerting him to my presence so he wouldn't be startled.

_Why that mattered, I have no clue._

He didn't even acknowledge me as I sat, my glare blatantly directed at him. His face remained focused on what he was doing.

_Why won't he look at me? _

Maybe he's so scared he cant even look at me, or maybe he's debating if what he could remember from our last meeting was all in his pathetic imagination. Pathetic like the loops he continued to draw endlessly on the paper below him.

No, he cant be scared of me. If I want to make this work, I would have to leave a better impression this time. I need him to trust me, trust me so that I could take what is _mine_.

"Hello." I said softly, a voice that I used to make humans more comfortable in my presence, while I smiled politely waiting for his reply. Slowly his head turned to face me. His eyes wide in bewilderment, irises glinting green crystals. Instinctively, I pulled my lower lip between my teeth, careful not to tear the flesh as his mouth formed a hard line, his eyes groping me up and down.

"My name is Bella…Bella Cullen. I didn't have a chance to introduce myself the other day-"

"Huh, so _you do _speak?"

He asked, bemused, and if I were living I would have had a coronary. His voice ran through my senses like wildfire. His tone, thick like honey dripped from his tongue. This…this _human_, had the voice of one of my own. It was alluring, seductive…fucking _wrong_. And shouldn't be coming out of his mouth.

I gaped, still with held breath, at his obvious brazenness and tone.

"Of course I speak, what dumb shit told you I didn't, _Skank-ley_?"

All politeness had flown out the window, as I used all the remaining air that had been sitting in my lungs; to say what, that _stupid _vomit?

Edward chuckled loudly, tilting his head to allow his fingers to pull through the disarray that sat upon it.

_Holy-Mother-Of-Fuck…Why?_

"Shit, your brother wasn't kidding, you are a feisty thing aren't you? And who the hell is _Skank-ley?"_

He mimicked as he sat with his lopsided smile, staring at me, waiting for my reply. Rage like no other consumed me, and I had to turn my head, allowing myself to breath so that I could speak to the fucker who had somehow become friends with _one _of my brothers. Which of whom I was certain was _not _a fucking cowboy.

I took in the deepest breath I could muster, gripping the underside of the already destroyed table as Edwards scent coated my throat. It was like burning cinders had taken refuge in my esophagus, slowly incinerating the hardened flesh from the inside out.

_Small doses, small doses…that one was _too fucking _big. _

"Hmm, let me guess, " I replied, turning back to face him. "You've met my brother Emmett, have you? Did he tell you that little bit of info?"

He shook his head, laughing still.

"Yeah, fucking figures." I said, nearly growling out the words.

Emmett was dead shit when we got home. Just on the simple principle that he is befriending my soon to be _meal_…and lay. Wait…lay _than _meal. Yes, of course.

"Wait, you still never told me who Skank-ley is?"

He asked pulling me from my thoughts, moving his stool closer to my own as he spoke.

_Wrong move, you don't want to do that. _I thought, but something in me wanted him even closer.

I could feel his body heat radiating from his medium frame, my bare arms barely grazed his covered ones. He was so close, too close…maybe just a touch, just one…

"Um…Skank-ley? That's your _girlfriend_, Jessica Stanley. Didn't you know, _Edward_?"

I asked, pushing the monster at bay. I needed to find a way to control this side of me, at least while I was in school.

Edward lost all the glimmer he had possessed just moments before, and immediately became serious.

"No. Uh, not quite. That girl scares the shit out of me, _seriously_."

I had to stop and dissect what he had just said. Skank-ley scares him. Yet, my overzealous, burley brother with skin the color of rice paper doesn't?

I just had to know.

"Wait, so you're saying Skank-ley scares you? What about me, do I scare you, _Edward_?" I asked, my voice seductively low as I leaned in closer to where he sat…_relaxed_?

"No, " he laughed, moving his body closer-meeting me half-way-so that his face was directly before mine. I could feel the warmth of his breath careen over my cheek and for just one small, trivial second I inhaled; allowing the burn to encapsulate me once more. The pain was almost pleasurable, and a part of me craved a little more.

"You don't scare me, _Bella Cullen_." He said softly, placing a loose tendril back behind my ear before speaking again, "You have piqued my interest in more ways than you can possibly imagine. So, as for _you scaring me_…not happening."

_What the fuck?!?! Did he just…yup, that fucker just dazzled me!_

With narrowed eyes I pulled away from him. Letting his words seep in. There was something about this boy that I just couldn't put my finger on. Something…_off_. I had never had a human approach me, no less a fearless human. Sensing the peculiarity, I changed course, allowing myself to take advantage and see just how far I could push this, _push _him.

Moving my torso towards him, I watched as his eyes roamed to my chest before returning to my face. His lips pulled slightly upward, a devilish smirk graced his once innocent features and I sighed heavily.

"You know, Edward. You shouldn't play with fire…unless you plan on getting burned."

I whispered, letting my words caress his delicate flesh. He never swayed, never faltered, he didn't so much as fucking blink. His smile just grew, reaching his glinting eyes as he brought his face closer to mine so that his lips hovered directly above my own, haunting the flesh with his warm breath.

"Oh, Bella. What makes you think that _I am _the one who will get burned?"

* * *

**As always please take the time to tell me if you like =)**

**Than, check go check out the amazing queenxochitl's story "Tomb Robber"...A. Edward Masen searched the world for priceless treasures. Isabella Swan might have called him a tomb robber once, but she was the greatest jewel he ever possessed...WHAT ARE YOU WAITING FOR!?!?!?!**

**Before you go...hit that little green tab!!!**


	3. Chapter 3: Phenomenon

**I do NOT own Twilight, nor do I profit from writing this. All creative rights to the characters/lyrics, original plot and/or dialogue, belong to their original creator(s). However, this FanFic is ALL MINE. (Lilith617: March 2010)**

**This story can also be found on The Writers Coffee Shop, pictures included at the end of each chapter. Also, look for Midnight Decadence on Adultfanfiction(dot)net. And soon to come, Twilighted(dot)net. SAME PENNAME on ALL sites ;)**

**Thank you to my WONDERFUL beta, ShamelesslyObsessed. She helps make my chappies pretty, and keeps me grounded. I *heart* you!**

**Thank you to queenxochitl for pre-reading. Her fangirling makes me blush.....I *heart* you TOO!!!**

**BIG, BIG Thank you to those that have added this story to your fav's, and alerts. **

**So, without further ado...the saga continues...**

* * *

"_You fell away  
What more can I say  
The feelings evolved  
I won't let it out  
I can't replace your screaming face  
Feeling the sickness inside_

_Why won't you die?_  
_Your blood in mine_  
_We'll be fine_  
_Then your body will be mine_

_So many words_  
_Can't describe my face_  
_This feeling's evolved_  
_So soon to break out_  
_I can't relate_  
_To a happy state_  
_Feeling the blood run inside…_

_Why is everything so fucking hard for me?_  
_Keep me down to what you think I shall pay._  
_Must you tempt me and provoke the ministry?_  
_Keep on trying I'm not dying so easily._

_I will not die…"_

_**System: Chester Bennington  
**_

* * *

**3. Phenomenon**

"No, Tanya. You don't fucking get it. There is something absurdly wrong with him." I cried into the phone, as I stood in the parking lot beside my car, waiting for my sisters as I tried in earnest not to crush the small piece of plastic within my fingers.

"Bella, so you're telling me that he practically _seduced you_, some _human boy_?" She mocked, and I could feel the plastic wince slightly under my grasp.

"Yes! What the hell have you been doing this whole time, haven't you heard a fucking thing I've said?"

I was beyond irate. The only person I thought that could possibly explain what had just happened to me, was as useless as tits on a bull.

_Great_.

"Bella, honestly, do you think you may be overreacting…just _a little?_" Tanya questioned meekly; I released a guttural groan.

"No, Tanya. I am _not _overreacting. Something is not right. When I am near him…it's as if…it's as if I have _no _control. I either want to kill him, or _fuck _him. Everything around me just disappears, I can't _hear _anyone, _see _anyone…_just him_…"

My words lingered around me like a fog. _Just him_. Since I first saw him, everything had been about him. My thoughts, my motions. I couldn't get him out of my fucking head. "Tanya!" I gasped, "maybe he's a fucking Warlock or some shit. I bet you that fuck put some type of spell on me, is that possible?"

Tanya cackled through the receiver, "Bella, you got it bad, real bad…a fucking Warlock, _seriously_? What fucking fantasy world are you living in, Harry Potter's?"

I grit my teeth as I listened to the continued bellowing laughter come from my best friend.

"Have you looked in the mirror lately, Tanya? I think it's safe to say that you and I aren't anywhere close to being non-fiction."

"True," she remarked, her laughing completely ceased. "I still don't think he's Harry Potter or some shit. Nevertheless, you have my full attention. Maybe I should pay a visit, see what he's all about-"

"No!" I interrupted, "no, that's not really necessary."

I knew that if Tanya even got one glimpse of Edward he'd be putty in her hands in no time, and there was no fucking way that I could have that happen.

"Fine, Bella. But if you change your mind, you know how to reach me."

Tanya and I said our goodbyes and my pacing had slowed, infinitesimally. However, if I continued to move the rate I had been I was bound to wear away the asphalt beneath my feet eventually.

As I waited, I thought back to Edward's behavior in class. He was brazen, fearless, and _powerful_. He spoke to me with abandon, resolve. But the weirdest fucking thing was that he was more observant than most humans I had known. And, it had been his damn observation skills that started the whole fuckery that had made me jump from my stool, forcing me out the door to where I stood now.

"_Ladies first," he said, pushing the Microscope towards my direction. I stared at it like it was about to sprout wings and fly away as he leaned into me again, breathing against my neck._

"_Or if you'd like, I could always go first." _

_I still couldn't get his words from earlier out of my head and now _this _shit? _

_His breath washed over me as he spoke, attaching itself to every strand of hair on my head. I took a small breath in through clenched teeth so that I could speak again, careful not to inhale through my nose. Though no matter what I did, I could taste him on my tongue, and it was fucking divine…_

"_No, I'll go." I sneered, grabbing the Microscope along with the battered box of slides with it. I peered into the small hole, immediately knowing the answer, having done this lab one too many times to count. _

"_Prophase," I said, passing the Microscope back in his direction, careful not to look at him directly. _

Fucking Medusa.

"_So, Bella. When'd you get contacts?" He asked nonchalantly, barely examining the slide before placing another in its place. _

"_I'm sorry, what?" I asked, staring directly at his bowed profile. He turned his body to face me causing a wave of his tantalizing aroma to hit me from every angle. I sat stunned, as his eyes; which were overflowing with secrets, and questions, bore into my own._

"_Your eyes, last time you were in class they were black. Now they're…" He came closer, mere inches from my face. I continued to stare; dazed, mouth firmly shut, as he scrutinized my eyes further, "like honey. Yeah, they look like honey, speckled with cinnamon…hmmm," he replied breathlessly before pulling away slightly flashing me with a lopsided smile._

_I pulled myself away from the mind fuckery he was unleashing on me and glared straight ahead, focusing all my attention on Mr. Banner as he made his rounds. I was suddenly panting, something I had never done before; as his scent flowed up and down my esophagus repeatedly, singeing me with its fiery touch. _

_I couldn't contain the feeling that was consuming me, this feeling of compulsion. Edward was eliciting emotions in me that I had never felt before, cravings that I just needed to sate._

_I licked my lips, and inhaled sharply. Letting his scent swirl through my barren lungs like tumbleweed. I let the venom pool in my mouth before swallowing it all in one gulp, only to let it build again. I chanced a peek at Edward, hoping for fucks sake that he was busying himself with the lab assignment before us. But instead, he was sitting with legs parted, both hands between them, on the seat of his stool: staring at me. _

Mother-Fuck!

"_Edward," I groaned, my teeth on edge, barely able to contain the feeling building within me. I could smell my own arousal as I sat there, trying to think of a way to get him to leave with me._

FUCK_. _

_Yes, that was it. That was what I wanted. _

_I wanted to fuck, Edward Masen. _

_Fuck, Mr. Fuck-able. Than drink, him dry…_

_And, he knew it, well the fucking part…I hoped. _

Bastard_. _

"_Bella, is there something wrong?" He asked, head tilted, as he shifted his ass forward on the stool. My eyes immediately shifted to the bulge between his legs, and the sound of his femoral artery pulsing rapidly within his thigh before slowly ascending to his face where he now wore a smug fucking grin. _

What the fuck was he doing to me?

_No, something is not right. I shouldn't feel this way. A _human _should not be able to make me feel this way._

…What the hell! I've been trying to get close to Bella for the past year, and this douche bag moves here and gets close his first week? I wish he'd go back to wherever it is he came from…

_Newton. _

_My saving grace. If not for his boisterous internal tirade, I may have just taken Edward on top of our lab table before draining him of his blood. _

"_I have to um…go…Uh…sorry?" I said, looking at the lab assignment before us. Edward sat up straight, concern ebbed his features. I wanted nothing more than to press the 'V' that furrowed between his brows, smooth away his concern._

What the hell?

"_No, don't go. I didn't mean-," He pleaded as he placed his hand on my bare arm. _

_I was not prepared for the feel of his warm hand on my cold flesh, scorching me. Nor was I prepared for what felt like a lightning storm his touch had ignited beneath my skin, making me feel almost…_alive_. _

_He pulled away quickly, his eyes locking on me, speculatively. Surely, he felt the exact same sensation that I had. His eyes remained transfixed as he tried to figure out what the fuck all that just meant, as was I. _

_I could see the fingers of the hand he had touched me with twitch. I was certain the electrical sparks that were still coursing through my body were coursing through his as well. Without another word, or breath I grabbed my things and rushed from the room. Avoiding the calls from Mr. Banner, and the swarm of thoughts that assaulted me as I ran down the hall as humanly as possible. _

I was still pacing, back and forth in front of my car. Allowing the cool mist to surround me, cleanse me. When the final bell rang, signaling the end of classes, I quickly got into my car. Not wanting to see Edward as he exited the building.

I was playing with my stereo when my sisters Alice, and Rosalie entered. The boys were driving separate of us today for a change. As always, Alice was the first to acknowledge me, her ever-present cheerfulness slightly dulled.

"Bella, are you okay?" She asked, looking me deep in the eyes. Looking for what I couldn't tell. I shook my head, unable to speak.

It felt as though my whole fucking world was crumbling beneath me. And I had no control over it what so ever. All because of some pathetic human.

…_You're really going to leave this time…_Alice accused, and I only shrugged_…I can't see where though…_

"That's because I haven't fucking decided…_shit_." I sneered, my comment gaining the attention of the only other passenger in the car, Rosalie.

"What are you two talking about? _Bella_?" Rosalie chimed in from the back seat. Her maternal tone was undeniable as she prodded me with her glare through the rear-view mirror. "You're not talking about leaving are you?"

I ignored her question as Alice nodded a big fucking yes for me.

"Bella, please don't leave. Not because of-"

"Rosalie, _please_, you don't understand." I moaned, not wanting to get into it, or argue with her.

"You're wrong Bella, I do understand. I know exactly what you're going through, what _he _does to you. I've gone through the exact same thing…many, _many _years ago, of course. Only, my self-control was no where as strong as your's." Her words trailed off as she lowered her head in shame.

"Pssh. My self-control is barely hanging on by a thread, Rosalie. I almost killed a classroom full of children a few days ago, remember?"

I stared at Rosalie's reflection through the rear view mirror as she turned her head towards the window, keeping her mind clear and her gaze fixed on the trees that sped by. She opened her mouth pensively, before shutting it quickly. Second-guessing her decision of whether to relive this tale of her past with Alice and I. Sensing her discomfort I felt the need to quell her unease before it got out of hand.

"Rosalie, you don't have to."

She looked at me again, our reflections locking as she nodded her head.

…_Yes, Bella. I do…_

"Emmett had just joined our family, maybe a month or so before," Rosalie said, picking imaginary lint from her lap. "I had gone out for my evening stroll. Back then we didn't have to worry, we were as free as the human's. You remember Bella, right?"

I nodded my head, bringing the car to a halt in our driveway, as I recalled the serenity life had once been as Rosalie took a breath before continuing.

"I saw him in the field, right off the country lane. Twilight had just befallen us and his muscles were taut as he swayed his scythe, cutting the thickened grain…His body glistened from his hard labor, the purple sky bouncing off him like a prism." She licked her lips, closing her eyes as she relived that night.

"It was the wind," she said, looking up almost frantic, pupils dilated. She glanced from me to Alice. Guilt riddled her beautiful features. "It was the wind…It blew his scent towards me. He was all man. Woodsy, earthy…and his blood…_oh god_, it was like a chorus of angels, singing to me and only me. I _couldn't _resist."

"So you drank from him?" Alice asked, eyes wide in shock.

"Alice, I did more than drink from him. I _savored _him like a fine wine," her tongue licked her lower lip as her nostrils flared. I was sure she smelt what suddenly permeated the confines of my car.

Her own arousal.

"I seduced him in the field. Right there…under the starry sky…and than I drank from him…till there was nothing left, and it was like heaven…worth every-"

Rosalie stopped, realizing how far she had gone with her imagery.

"Mmmm, sorry I got a little…carried away," Rosalie smirked.

Alice appeared stunned. She the only one who had never consumed the blood of a human. Or at least she thought from what she could recall of her earlier vampiric years.

We sat in silence for a few moments. Lost in the story Rosalie had just told. A part of me knew that just like Rosalie I would have to make that decision. But, I already knew the decision I wanted to make wasn't the one my family would accept.

"Rosalie, what did Emmett say…I mean, when you came home? Wasn't he upset?" Alice queried, and I too was now curious as to what her mate had thought.

Rosalie laughed, a soft melodic chime, as she began to exit the back seat. Peaking her head into the open door before turning her back to leave.

"Emmett, you ask? Well…lets just say I never strayed again after that night."

She left me with a visual of her and Emmett's numerous sexcapades as she sent Alice and I a wink, before walking off with a sway of her perfect hips.

"Bitch," I laughed, as I turned to Alice. "I did _not _need to see that. So, Alice, " I sang. "What do you see? With me…and…_you know_?" I asked innocently. Needing to know if my plans of consuming everything Edward had to offer had been thwarted already.

"Bella, I cant see his future, or any decisions he plans on making or has made for shit." She said looking at me sadly, shrugging her shoulders.

"What the fuck, Alice. Why not?"

"_I don't know_. I'm not perfect, Bella," she replied, immediately defensive. "I keep trying to, but I just cant. Its like…there's something in the way _blocking me_."

"That doesn't make any fucking sense, and you know it."

I was getting angry again, my temper getting the best of me. Something _Edward _seemed to help influence, _A LOT_.

"I know it doesn't make sense, Bella. How do you think I feel? The only thing I can see is what _you _decide to _allow _me to see. And even then, the images are all fucked up because you cant make up your _goddamn mind_." She retorted, throwing her arms up in the air in defeat before leaving me, slamming the door almost off its hinge.

I stayed behind, relishing in the peace my car had to offer, as I wallowed in my own self-made hell.

I decided that night, after listening to Rosalie's tale, that I would accept defeat and let my natural predatory instinct win.

_I, Bella Cullen, would kill Edward Masen…and if need be, his father too._

I would attend classes tomorrow, playing along with the façade that my family had worked so hard to live by. I would than coerce said victim during our Biology class to 'hang-out' with me after school. Maybe offer him a ride since I wasn't sure if he drove. I would then take him to my favorite meadow…

"Bella, are you ready?" Alice asked warmly as she entered my room. I glanced at her, perplexed, as she pointed out the large window that covered one complete wall of my bedroom.

It was already morning. I had been strategically planning every aspect of my attack on Edward Masen the whole night, apparently. I tried in earnest not to let the little pixie see any decisions that I was making for fear she would put a halt to all the festivities I had planned for this afternoon and evening. The only thing I could ascertain from her vague visions was my meadow, and nothing more.

"I think something is changing. You…ugh!" She said, walking over to the window frustrated. The sky was thick with gray cover, the earth below frozen and iced over from the drop in temperature the cold night had left behind.

"I think your gypsy skills are weakening as you age, Alice. I wonder if there is a doctor that helps people like you," I laughed, as her face held a heavy scowl.

"No, but seriously. How does today look? Any fuck up's in my foreseeable future, gypsy lady?"

"You're an ass…you know that? And, no I don't see you killing anyone _today_." She assured me before lithely bouncing out of my room.

_Her skills were definitely not what they used to be, 'cause I was certain I was killing someone _today.

The ride to school was mundane as usual. Once we arrived, my siblings piled out like circus clowns, each one except for Alice wandered towards their inconsequential destinations.

Me and Alice stayed behind, leaned up against the hood of my Volvo, amusing ourselves with the student population that attended Forks High, well at least I was anyway.

"Come on, Bella. What are we waiting for anyway?"

As the words left her lips, a loud rumble could be heard in the distance. In unison, Alice and I raised our heads towards the direction the noise was coming from, only to be met with a very fine, very vintage, cherry-red Camaro. A sixty-nine cherry-red Camaro, with black rally racing stripes hugging the center of its body…to be more precise.

"I take it _that_ is what you're waiting for."

I gaped, mouth watering at the car that was known to me since the late sixties as true '_sex-on-wheels_.' And of course, I wasn't surprised to see the notorious _Mr. fuck-able _slouched against oxblood leather behind the steering wheel, black ray bans covering his beautiful eyes, as he cruised into the parking lot. Careful to park along the curb, away from the other vehicles in the lot.

_That's right, treat that baby like you should. _I thought smugly_._

I watched as he exited, taking off his shades and flinging them into the passenger seat. His fingers pulled through tangled bronze tendrils as he slammed the heavy door shut; stopping to admire the pristine paint job that coated his baby like a second skin. I decided right then that this was the _perfect _opportunity to begin phase one of my '_seduce-than-kill-Edward-Masen-plan_'.

I began to walk forward when Alice gasped out a loud, "_NO!" _

I halted mid step, quickly running through her thoughts, immediately thinking that she had seen what I had been working on: undercover. But, what I saw had nothing to do with me.

Lauren Mallory, had decided that the very thin coat of ice that blanketed the asphalt this morning was to be ignored. Causing her to enter the student parking lot at a treacherous speed. This lack of common sense was going to cause Lauren's piece of shit, rattrap to drift across the iced lot…

The oddly, very clear vision came just before it was to take place. As I looked up, I could see Lauren's car rounding the corner. Everything Alice had just seen taking effect. What I hadn't seen yet till that very second was the trajectory of Lauren's car and the remainder of Alice's vision.

No, this vision definitely had nothing to do with me, but _everything _to do with the human male I had plans on consuming for my night's meal.

Edward was standing in the wrong place, at the wrong time. He was going to be crushed by Lauren's out of control vehicle.

Suddenly, as if a light bulb lit above his head, Edward sensed the danger headed in his direction. He looked to me; shock, and trepidation written all over his beautiful fucking face, before looking back at what would soon be the cause of his death.

It was in that instant that I made a snap decision. One that would most likely haunt me for the rest of my fucking existence- among others.

_Not him, _I thought as I ran launching myself towards a bracing for impact, Edward. No one saw me as I blurred by them, wrapping myself around Edward's sinewy frame before tackling him to the ground. I heard the crackle of ice and asphalt beneath him, as I was sure I most likely broke something inside his fragile body.

Not having time to assess the damage, I focused my attention to the car that was screeching towards both Edward and I. Its tires squealing as the rubber skid across the deception of black ice.

I knew that what I had already done could have possibly exposed me and my whole fucking family for what we were.

_Inhuman, immortal_.

But I didn't give two fucks. And I surely didn't give a damn when I reached both arms out towards the little blue car as it came closer. Stopping it with just the palms of my hands, right before it had the chance to crush us both. But not before it slammed into the back end of Edward's beautiful Camaro, leaving us trapped between the two vehicles.

With one hand, I grabbed Edward around the waist as I lifted Lauren's car minutely, pushing it away slightly so that I could get us out of the sandwich, the two cars had created. As I made my way to move I could see the indentations my palms had left behind. But that wasn't the only indentation I saw. Because right beneath where Edward lay, was another, this one outlining his body.

Panicked, I began to shake him. Knowing full well never to move a trauma victim. But did I listen? _Fuck no! _I lifted him from the ground as the voices of the students surrounding us became shrieking. I couldn't focus on any one thought in particular, as the accident had everyone in a frenzy. I did make out amongst the chaos that an Ambulance had been called, my sister Alice's voice the one to inform me.

I held Edward in my arms, waiting for help to arrive, holding my breath as I did. It wasn't long before the sirens slowly drowned out the voices, and a human male began to stir in my arms.

He looked at me expectantly, waiting for what I couldn't tell. I looked him over, before looking back at the _very _there indentation his body had left behind in the asphalt.

Yet…he wasn't bleeding, and he wasn't writhing, or screaming in pain.

"Bella…" he rasped, and I eyed him cynically. "You saved me. You're like my…_my guardian angel_," he whispered before snickering into a full-blown deep chuckle.

"Uh, no. Not even close, Edward." I said as I rolled my eyes, lost in the moment, lost in _him_. He began to sit up, keeping one of my arms around his waist. He was assessing the damage, looking at the dents left behind on Laurens car.

"So, you gonna explain that?" He asked, pointing his head towards the image my small palms left behind in the blue steel. I looked at the ground, showing him with my eyes the damage that had lain beneath him.

"Are you going to explain _that, _or why your not in pain?"

"I'll show you mine, if you show me your's first, _Bella_."

My name dripped from his tongue like syrup, and again I was a blubbering fool, my body quivered with an intensity I'd never known. He continued to look around, his eyes stopping on the crushed back end of his car. He pulled himself from my grasp with ease, and for a moment I could have swore I heard what sounded like a growl come from his chest.

When I looked to his face, to see if what I had heard had actually came from him, I was met with the profile of a ferocious scowl.

"My fucking car…bitch hit my _fucking _car," he murmured so low that no one within a two-foot radius would have heard him.

_But I did. _

I continued to watch him as he pulled a pack of cigarettes from his jacket pocket, offering me the red box of Marlboros before taking one out and lighting it. I refused, sitting entranced as he pulled long drags from the white stick before letting the smoke billow from his parted lips.

The sirens drew nearer with every passing second, and students were now circling the scene like vultures. But, I was oblivious to it all. Only aware of the thrumming heart, and pulsating carotid that now sat beside me.

Edward's back was up against his car when the Paramedic's came to whisk him away. He had already snuffed his cigarette into the freshly made ditch beside him, and his fingers were again within the frenzy of hair upon his head. I turned away, trying to understand the ramifications of what I had just done by helping him. This would not go over well with my family, especially Esme.

"The show must go on, _right_?" He asked sullenly, before being helped onto the gurney. Immediately, I was taken aback with his comment and looked at him directly.

Anyone, unknowing would have fell for his little show as he held his side in mock pain, his perfectly unscathed body now strapped to the gurney below.

_But I knew_.

And perhaps I too would have fallen prey to his little show if it weren't for a very odd, but _very _familiar look that glazed his eyes for only a split second. The luminous glow that sat within his pupils, gleamed like reflectors, bouncing his secret off of me like fucking sonar.

I was rooted to the ground, Alice sidled up by my side as Edward was lifted into the Ambulance.

"Please. Tell me you just fucking saw _that_." I asked, completely blown away.

…_is it possible? I've never…_She thought, her mind a whirlwind of questions.

"I don't know. Shit, I wouldn't even know where to begin. But one thing is for sure," I whispered, as Edward left me with a _drop-your-fucking-panties-now-_smirk as the double doors to the Ambulance closed.

"He may have a beating heart…but that boy is _nowhere _near fucking human."

Alice shook her head in understanding as we watched the Ambulance pull away, another followed behind Edward's, Lauren in tow.

…_I think we need to speak to Carlisle…now…_Alice thought.

And for once, I couldn't agree more.

* * *

**Sooooo....any guesses as to what dear old Edward's secret is? Huh? Or why he is capable of _dazzling _the shit out of our beloved Cursella??? I'd love to hear your thoughts!!!**

**Link to the picture of Edward's '69 Camaro is on my profile...worth a look-see ;) **

**After you check that out, click on the link for queenxochitl's story "Tomb Robber" and see exactly what E dward and Bella look like sprinkled with Egyptian sand...their game of cat and mouse is about to intensify! Ch-ch-cherry bomb style =) **


	4. Chapter 4: Revelations Part 1

**I do NOT own Twilight, nor do I profit from writing this. All creative rights to the characters/lyrics, original plot and/or dialogue, belong to their original creator(s). However, this FanFic is ALL MINE. (Lilith617: March 2010)**

**This story can also be found on The Writers Coffee Shop, same Penname. Pictures accompany each chapter._ You must register first...its worth it!_**

**Thank you to my two dearest FFn wifes... **

**ShamelesslyObsessed, she makes sure my chapter's are perty and gives me great ideas through her creative criticism. Even with the demands of RL, Shameless makes time for me. Thank you, you're the BEST!!! You have stuck by me and I appreciate that =)  
queenxochitl, thank you for letting me be a part of your story. Thanks for putting up with my crazy ass texts during class, and dinner, and god knows what ;) Thanks for pre-reading and helping me figure out what was missing. I HEART YOU, HARD!!!**

**Okay...enough gushing...ON TO CURSELLA!!!**

* * *

"_I'm over it. You see,  
I'm falling in the vast abyss,  
Clouded by memories of the past,  
at last, I see…_

_I hear it fading, I can't speak it_  
_or else you will dig my grave._  
_You feel him finding, always whining._  
_Take my hand now, be alive._

_You see, I cannot be forsaken,_  
_Because I'm not the only one._  
_We walk amongst you, feeding, raping._  
_Must we hide from everyone?_

_I'm over it,_  
_Why can't we be together,_  
_Embrace it?_  
_Sleeping so long,_  
_taking off the mask,_  
_at last, I see…_

_My fear is fading, I can't speak it_  
_Or else you will dig my grave._  
_You feel him finding, always whining,_  
_Take my hand now, be alive._

_You see, I cannot be forsaken,  
because I'm not the only one.  
We walk amongst you, feeding, raping.  
Must we hide from everyone?_

_**Forsaken: David Draiman**_

* * *

**4. Revelations Part 1**

Alice and I made our way over to Community Hospital; but not before smoothing out the dents left behind from my hands, and Edward's body. As we entered the Hospital it was glaringly clear that the students that were swarming the main lobby like flies on shit were there for the sole purpose of ditching classes.

Alice and I nodded at Brett Warner-a Registered Nurse that had worked side by side with Carlisle since we had arrived in Forks-as we passed him to go to Carlisle's office. Brett appeared to be seeking refuge behind the frosted glass partition that separated him from the tumult of students that had clearly taken over the small stark white waiting room.

I could hear the tone of Carlisle's thoughts as we neared his office door. He was reading charts, contemplating diagnoses. I whispered his name once, knowing that he would hear me regardless of the distance and the thick wooden door between us. As Alice and I entered the room he stood. His hand trembling slightly as it lay flat upon his cherry-wood desk.

…_Bella, please…you didn't…_

"Of course not, Carlisle," Alice answered whimsically. Carlisle sighed humanly as he noted my golden eyes with solace. "There was an accident."

"What do you mean an accident? Are you both alright? Is Chief Masen's son okay?"

I could see the panic begin to ebb its way over his pallid features as he took our rigid stance into consideration.

"Human error?" I replied, and Carlisle eyed me with disdain. I took a deep breath, allowing my lungs to fill completely before spewing out the morning's strange turn of events.

"A car skid across the ice, in the student parking lot. _He_ was going to get crushed," I lowered my eyes to the floor a sense of unneeded shame rang through me. "I ran…I _had_ to. No one saw, I am certain…maybe him. Fuck, Carlisle. I don't know." I ran my hands through my hair, tugging slightly on the roots, needing some type of release from the tightness that still gripped my chest.

"Bella, you did what you believed to be the proper thing to do. Am I right? Don't always be so hard on yourself. I on the other hand am quite proud of you, your control. So, not to worry, we will work through this. Now, I believe _my_ patient is ready for me."

Carlisle smiled as his pager continued to alert him. His voice held no anger within it, though concern etched his brows deeply. I knew that I had saved Edward. But, did he even need to be saved? Could he have saved himself? Clearly, the boy was more than just human.

"That's not the only reason why we are here," I said looking towards Alice who was lost flipping through magazines. "I am so fucking sorry, Carlisle. I don't know how to say this…"

My words kept getting trapped in my throat as I tried to muster the nerve to tell Carlisle what took place after I pushed Edward away from Lauren's on-coming car.

"There's more?" he asked, confused.

"The car that was going to crush Edward…well I sort of stopped it…with my hands…and I am _positive_ he saw…and not just that but there is something wrong with him."

"Go on."

"When I pushed him out of the way, his body fell to the ground. I was certain I broke something from the force I'd exerted on him. But, I was wrong. He was _fine_. There _was_ and _is_ nothing wrong with him, you'll see. But…his body…it left a crater in the asphalt, Carlisle. And if that wasn't enough…his eyes glowed like a fucking cat's, Carlisle. _Glowed!_"

Carlisle looked towards Alice who nodded in agreement, as I shook with uncertainty. Immediately his thoughts started to run through all the possibilities of what Edward could be, stopping on one particular thought the most.

…_Unbreakable…_Bella_, you say he is human, his heart beats? _

"_God_ does his heart beat, Carlisle. It thrums like a fucking hummingbirds wings…it's actually very fast for a human now that I think about it."

I had never actually paid any mind to just how rapid Edwards heart did beat, always too consumed with the scent his blood gave off. And the longer I stood there, listening to Carlisle's thoughts the more his crazy notions seemed to make sense.

…_Eyes…reflect…heart beat…vampire…human…_NO_, it cannot be… _

"I am sorry girls but I must go. Bella, I need to see this…_this_ boy. I am itching with excitement over what this could possibly mean. If he is partially- I am sure you understand, I must speak with him-"

"No, Carlisle. He mustn't know anything…Until we are certain of what he is. He cannot know. _Please_."

Carlisle looked like a child whose favorite toy had been taken away. I knew that if what Carlisle thought Edward was could be _remotely_ real, than all of our lives…our existences would change irrevocably.

"May I see him first, before you go?" I asked, needing to see exactly what Edward recalled. But also to see what-if any-information I could pull from the obvious façade he fucking wore.

"I think its best you do. I have a more urgent matter to attend to first…apparently the driver of the car who almost hit your Edward is not faring so well," he rushed as he scurried through the door, chirping pager in hand.

I watched his departure, open mouthed, as his reference to Edward replayed in my head.

_Your Edward. _

I was fucking screwed.

****

"Hey, Bella. Not exactly how I imagined our first date to go, you?"

Edward released a light chortle. He was laid back upon white sheets, a matching t-shirt adorning his chest. He looked soft, innocent, and edible.

"Ha Ha," I mocked. "Actually, I came to spring you. And to apologize about your car, she was a beauty. I'm sure it's going to be a bitch, trying to find parts for a car that old." I finished, keeping my distance as I sat on the far end of the empty bed beside him.

"Yeah, well…what can you do, right?"

"Not much, I guess. Was it new, did you just get it?" I was trying desperately to pull any information from his thick exterior that I could.

"I _was_ and _am_ the original owner."

I watched with my lower lip caught within my teeth as his fingers rummaged through his hair. A quick burst of regret shadowed his face and I wondered if he felt like he had said too much. It wasn't long before he recognized the distance I had put between us and his familiar smirk loosely played at the corner of his pouted lips.

"You don't have to sit so far away from me, you know. I _don't_ bite." He smiled playfully.

_But I do, and I will._

I could hear the voice of an unfamiliar man as he neared the doorway. Edward and I both glared at the intrusion of a slightly older, dark-haired gentleman that was now stood directly outside, speaking with Carlisle. Instinctively, I searched the man's thoughts after hearing Carlisle address him as Chief Masen.

_Wait, am I supposed to believe this is Edward's father? He looks at most ten years older than him. _I thought, scoffing mentally.

Chief Masen's thoughts were full of wordless anxiety, guilt, and an unusual fear. I was having a difficult time pin pointing any one in particular. I even tried to make out his tenor, focusing more on the internal melee taking place but was met with a resistance that concealed the fear he harbored.

"So, that's your dad?" I asked bemused, looking at Edward. I was trying to gauge his reaction to my question, but of course he kept on his flawless act.

"Yeah, something like that," he replied blankly. As Edward answered I could feel the heat of Chief Masen's stare on my back. Swiftly, I turned to look at him. Chief Masen was dressed in a standard police uniform. His hair was almost black, and matched the mustache above his lip. He was surveying the small cubicle Edward lay in, his gaze shifting from Edward to me, conflict scorching his eyes.

"I've never seen him before," I continued, unable to find any resemblance of the two. "Not one to really familiarize myself with authority figures…if you know what I mean." Edward laughed, slightly amused.

"Well, he's only been Chief for a year or so. So, he's fairly new. That's probably why you don't recognize him."

"Oh," I said, suspicion laced my words and I knew that Edward could sense what was coming next. "Well, if he's been here for a year, where have you been? I mean…I haven't seen you in school till recently."

_Got you fucker! _

"It's complicated…and personal." He retorted as he shifted uncomfortably beneath the cotton sheets. I was stunned at Edward's dramatic shift in attitude as Carlisle and Chief Masen entered the room. Still I watched his reaction to my father's entrance carefully.

…_Careful, Bella. I can sense the trepidation in the room as well…_

"Hello, Edward. I am Dr. Cullen," Carlisle said, shaking Edward's hand. I could see the wheels in Edward's head churning as he put two and two together. His eyes widened minutely as he saw the resemblance between Carlisle and I. He obviously saw what made us Cullen's different from the rest of the town's people.

"Edward, you know you're very lucky to be alive," Carlisle spoke as his fingers gingerly tread through Edward's hair, searching his scalp for any signs of physical trauma.

…_Hmmm…not even a scratch…_

I sighed, envying Carlisle's ability to touch Edward without consequence.

"Your x-rays look good…but, Bella said you fell. Are you sure you didn't bump your head?"

"I'm fine," Edward replied impatiently, glowering towards my direction.

…_There is definitely something odd…his heart; it's nothing like I've ever heard…He should be having a heart attack at that rate…_

"Well, your classmate Lauren Mallory is not so lucky. She has severe head trauma," Carlisle continued sadly.

I knew that Carlisle was breaking patient confidentiality by telling Edward of Lauren's condition. Though I was certain it was for good cause. Maybe a reaction?

We both waited for one. _Nothing_.

"Well, Dr. Cullen. If it wasn't for your _daughter_ Bella here, I would be dead. Thankfully, she was by my side, admiring my car with me when the accident took place. She saw Lauren's car before I did. I would even go as far as to say that perhaps she even _sensed_ it?"

Edward's words flowed from his lips without hesitation. He showed no signs of anxiety with his blatant deceitfulness.

"Oh, well, yes, I guess that could be possible." Carlisle agreed, hearing the same suspicion I heard come from Edward.

…_He knows something, Bella. This is a very observant boy…_

"No blood, no foul, _right_?" Edward added, grinning facetiously at me. His flagrant arrogance was beginning to disturb the shit out of me. .

"Well. That's my cue to leave. You know…school and all," I spat, fed up. "Someone's has to spread the good news that _Edward_ survived." I slowly lifted myself from the bed. Edward's eyes never leaving me.

"Oh, it was nice to meet you Chief Masen, though technically we didn't actually _meet, _now did we?" Again, I was made a spluttering idiot all because of Edward. Chief Masen replied in a grunt, careful to avoid any and all eye contact with me. I knew then that the _Chief_ was in on the whole fucking charade.

_Edwards father…my fucking ass._

I stalked from the room, furious, and headed towards the exit. Taking the emptiest, dimmest lit corridor I could find. I heard him first; his sneakers skidding across the linoleum as he ran: searching. Only to come to a complete halt once he found me.

I waited, motionless. My hand ambiguously hovering above the release latch of the metal door before me. I could feel his presence intensify as he drew near. The undeniable hum surrounded us, and it was though all the planets aligned at that very moment.

I didn't dare turn to face him. Afraid that my control was already pushed to its max in the barely ventilated hall. But, of course _he_ would push, as he came up from behind me. His face directly above my shoulder, his breath pulsing onto my neck with every exhalation.

"What do you want, Edward?" I asked coldly, though pained. His scent was becoming more familiar the more I was around him, though it still burned…a burn I was beginning to take too much pleasure in.

"I think we should talk. Listen, I'm sorry-"

"Edward, please," I said sarcastically, turning to face him, my hand pressing against the muscles of his chest. I could feel the rapid cadence of his heart beat just below my fingertips. It nearly sent me into frenzy.

"There is nothing to talk about." I finished removing my hand, feeling the remnants his heart beat left behind on my skin.

Edward remained before me, a look of frustration washed over his serene features as he contemplated what he wanted and should say.

"I think there is, Bella. I think you owe me an explanation."He demanded.

_Fuck. Me._

"An explanation? I don't owe you shit, Edward. If anything you owe me a _goddamn_ explanation... and how 'bout a fucking thank you. I just saved your life, or have you forgotten already?" I seethed, bewildered as he moved closer.

"Maybe I didn't need _your_ saving, Bella. And besides I still saw _you_, saw what you did. You stopped Lauren's car…_with your hands_." He hissed and I clenched my fists tightly, telling myself he was just a boy. A boy that I shouldn't kill.

"You think I stopped a car with my hands?" I laughed maniacally, "You don't know what the fuck you're talking about, and you saw nothing, Edward. I think maybe you _did_ hit your head. Maybe we should go back, let Carlisle exam you once more?"

I began to walk back towards the main hall that would lead me back to Carlisle's office but was met with Edward's firm grasp on my arm. A _very_, inhumanly strong grasp to be more precise.

"You know damn well that I didn't hit my head," he said as the glint in his pupils intensified in the near dark. "I want the truth, Bella. I _need_ the truth. Tell me I'm not _alone_, not crazy," he whispered before his voice rose again.

"I'm not leaving here till you do."

His grip never relented as he slowly began to push my body against the concrete wall. Though I should have, I couldn't even try to fight him if I wanted. This _control_ that he exhibited over me was beyond anything I had ever experienced. I relished in it, absorbed it, as I let him lead the way, pushing me over an unseen edge.

"I don't know what you want me to fucking say, Edward. I don't know what you want from me. _Please_, just let it go. I will."

I nearly moaned, breathless. His scent shrouded me. Devouring everything that I stood for. I was a weak minded fledgling while in his presence.

He pushed me completely against the wall, his body pressed firmly against my own. I stared up at his towering frame as he brought his lips to my outer ear. Grazing the skin with his soft, warm lips while he spoke.

"I think you know exactly what I want, _Bella_. I know _what_ you are, you and your family. But I need to hear you say it…_out loud_…trust me, _please_."

Edward nearly begged as his nose trailed the flesh of my neck. I could feel him inhaling, feel him breathe me in. My body was on fire, every pass of his breath, his touch, causing an unknown heat within me to grow. I could feel my arousal increasing, as his own blatantly pressed hard against my stomach.

"Well, I hope you like disappointment, Edward Masen. Because, I don't know what you're talking about. And I sure as hell am not going to tell _you,_ out of all people, or whatever it is that you are _anything _about me or my family...so _fuck_ off."

Reluctantly, I pulled away. Walking a short distance away from him, allowing myself to gain some semblance of control.

"Why'd you even bother, then? You should have just let me die. It would have made _my_ life a whole lot easier, yours too." He sounded so defeated, desperate. I wouldn't allow him to swallow me in.

"I don't know," I shrugged. "It's _complicated _and _personal_."

I threw his words right back at him, hitting him hard as I turned to walk away.

"Hey, Edward?" I called over my shoulder, stopping. "Do _you_ think you would you have died? Or do you think you'd _still_ be standing here with me, living the lie?"

"I-I don't know." He stammered weakly.

"Yeah, well in that case a fucking thank you would suffice."

I didn't turn back to look at Edward; as I left him with his glowing eyes in the dark, alone to brood.

****

That evening was the worst night of my known existence. Edward had made it quite clear that he knew exactly what secrets I and my family were hiding. Yet, he was still so reluctant to share his own. Well, there was no way in hell that I would allow him to manipulate me into confessing. Not before he did, anyway.

There were times that night that I wanted to go to him. Be near him. _Apologize_. For what I didn't fucking know. And it wasn't until the breaking of dawn that I came to the conclusion I had sought all night.

Edward and I just could_ NOT _be friends.

We were like oil and vinegar, we just didn't mix. Besides, if I wanted to keep my family's privacy, my family's hard work at maintaining what little normalcy we had; I needed to cut all ties with Edward Masen. And, the sooner they were cut the better.

The sky was a darkened grey as my family and I entered my car, the thickened gloom hung over our heads like a veil. I could see it, we were all feeling it. Trepidation. Uncertainty. Regardless of Alice's efforts, not one of us knew for sure the consequences of my actions from the day before. It was as though we were driving to our own beheading's, praying for a stay of execution.

Warily, I pulled into the student parking lot. Parking my car in its usual spot. I glanced quickly at the crowd of students making their way into the building, rushing in droves before the sky opened up above them. Everyone's thoughts were clear of any Cullen conspiracy, except for the few normal passing thoughts in regards to our clothes, or our beauty.

…_See I told you…_ Alice quipped, her upbeat attitude still not enough to make this unknown ache within me dissolve.

I scanned the parking lot for Edward, or any likeness thereof. _Nothing_. A small twang of uneasiness rested in my abdomen as I thought the worst.

…_He didn't leave. He's just running late…_

Alice informed me, and with that I trudged on; hoping the day would end as quickly as it fucking began.

My day would have been fine, just fucking peachy, if not for Skank-leys intruding thoughts. She had been thinking about Edward, not her friend who was _still_ lying in a hospital bed with numerous brain contusions. No, her meek mind was wrought with constant visuals of Edward. Her thoughts fluttering around, not specific to anything as I saw visual after visual of him before her mind ceased, finally fixating on one very clear memory from earlier this morning.

Edward flirting with her. Edward touching her cheek.

_What. The. Fuck?!?!_

By the time lunch had arrived I was ready to shred some throats. Edward my first target. Skank-ley my second. I was not expecting-at all-the sight that was grotesquely on display in the center of the Cafeteria.

Edward was sat, legs slightly parted, with a very enthusiastic Skank-ley laughing, and bouncing around on his lap. His leather cuffed wrist wrapped loosely around her waist. His fingers just grazing her hip.

"What the fuck is _that_ shit? _Please_, Alice. Tell me I am fucking hallucinating."

I could feel the flush of anger build from my core and spread its way outward. Taking control of every fiber of my being. As I stood, trembling with rage, a low snarl escaped me causing Edward to take notice of me. His pretentious demeanor apparently pleased with the reaction I had given.

…_He's doing this on purpose…_Alice thought beside me, her hand splayed over my shoulder in a comforting gesture.

"Wait, you saw this and didn't tell me? _Why_?"

"No, Bella. I didn't _see_ this. Remember, I can't see anything he does? That hasn't changed. It's just obvious, don't you think?" She retorted, waving her palm before the scene in front of us.

I groaned, the truth couldn't have slapped me in the face if I wanted it to. No, the truth was kicking my fucking ass. Nausea boiled in my stomach, and this morning's meal of Deer was slowly rising up my esophagus.

"Alice, I feel like I am going to be sick. I've never-"

…_Bella, you need to calm down. You're vibrating, _Alice thought. _We really don't need you vomiting a fountain of blood, okay? _

I tried to remain calm while Alice continuously rubbed soothing circles on my back.

…_Don't worry, Jazz will fix this, alright?_

Realizing just that, I sped up, making my way to my family quicker than I anticipated. As soon as Jasper saw my face he immediately went to work. The feeling of ease, and tranquility was instantaneous. Though I knew it wouldn't last.

I let my hair curtain my face as I sat in what felt like shock. Skank-leys thoughts were lust ridden, and amused. I could feel her stare towards my direction. Happy that she had one up on me, or so she thought. I almost fell off my chair from said shock when I watched Skank-ley brazenly try to run her stubby fingers through Edward's disarrayed strands of hair. Only to be met with a discontented Edward smacking her hand away as if she were a child sneaking cookies before dinner. All the while clicking his tongue at her.

"Do you want me to kick his ass, Bella? I don't mind you know. I mean, he's a cool guy and all but no one gets away with hurting my baby sister." Emmett's voice bellowed from across the small table, and I knew, that if Edward's hearing was as keen as mine he heard what Emmett said even through the surrounding din.

"I'm not hurt." I scoffed defensively.

"Bella, I don't buy it. _Sorry_. When you walked in here the anger, the frustration, the _jealousy_. Well, it was more than I've ever felt from you," Jasper quipped. Only making me feel more like shit.

"Christ, Bella. You were ready to throw up. Doesn't that say something? Please, be so kind as to inform me when the last time _that_ happened. Can you? No, of course you can't."

Jasper's southern drawl thickened as his emotions tensed. I couldn't stand to sit at the same table as him while his emotions and mine mingled, unceremoniously. If I did, there'd be multiple murders taking place within the next few minutes. Jasper and I the killers.

…_Go…_ My sister Rosalie thought, coming to my aide. I got up to leave, knowing that I was being watched, and not just by my siblings.

"I'm going home. I can't do this anymore, sorry." I said, slamming the plastic lunch tray onto the table below as I did. The plastic splintered with ease from my doing and I groaned at the constant weakness that surrounded me from _all_ angles.

"He's worried about you, remorseful. _Damn_, his emotions are strong." Jasper interceded, stopping me where I stood.

"I don't _fucking_ care," I yelled before stalking off.

…_Uh, apparently he does…He's following you…_Alice informed me as I made my way into the torrent of rain.

Of course he is. _Fan-fucking-tastic._

I was halfway through the parking lot by the time he had caught up with me. My clothes already deluged from the heavy rainfall as he grabbed my arm, pulling me.

'Stop, Bella, wait! _Please_. Where are you going?"

I felt like I was experiencing déjà vu, the way his hand held onto my upper arm. The ignition of sparks apparent as they made their way throughout my shivering frame. I wasn't cold. I was on edge.

"Since when does it fucking matter to you where I go?" I snapped, pushing him back. He lost his footing slightly, chuckling at the little bit of strength I unleashed on his wet ass. "Just go back to Skank-ley, Edward. You two are a match made in heaven." I snickered, returning to my earlier path, my car only a few yards away.

"You know I don't want her." He stopped, his words a whisper. Now I _had_ to listen, of course.

"Then what do _you_ want, Edward?" I replied my voice small, my back still turned towards him.

"_You_. I want you. _Only_ you."

He sounded hurt, heart-broken. I couldn't just walk away _now_. I couldn't _not_ listen, hear him out.

"Edward, look," I said sweetly, sugar coating what I was about to say as I turned once more to face him. "You don't even _know_ me, and I'm just not- you shouldn't even be near me. If you were smart you'd stay away, _far_ away."

"_Stay away?_ Bella, don't tell me you don't feel this." His voice rose as he pointed to his chest than to mine.

Of course I felt it, I always fucking felt it. I've been _feeling_ it since the day he walked into my tumultuous life. It was the only pain I'd felt since I was turned. It called to me, summoned me, like a moth to a flame. I was drawn to him. I needed him. Just as much, if not more, than he needed me.

"Don't deny this, Bella."

Edward came closer, placing his hands on my collar bones. His palms firmly pressed into me. He stared down upon me; droplets of rain fell from the tips of his now flattened hair onto my awaiting forehead. I blinked incessantly, keeping the wetness away from my eyes.

"Please, Edward. I can't. You don't belong in my world, we shouldn't even be friends. You'll only get hurt." I sighed heavily, my eyes remained cast down, "I'm not good, Edward. I'm dangerous."

"I _am_ part of your world, Bella. And you fucking know it!" He gripped his hair, tugging roughly, "you're not bad…you won't hurt me. So why won't you just fucking say it?"

My mouth hung open, unhinged. I inhaled deeply, the rain soaking us both now completely thoroughly. Edward's sodden clothes only intensified his scent and I had to step back for fear of attacking him where he stood.

"I-I don't know what you're talking about." I whispered, avoiding his fiery gaze.

"_Fine_. Pretend like you don't know. Pretend that you don't feel _this_, this tether between us. And while you're at it," his eyes grew dark, near black as he pulled me into an embrace, his head tilted, lips hovering above my own. "Pretend you don't crave me, just as much as I crave you."

Edward was relentless, his hot breath washed over my mouth and I had no choice but to hold my breath as I drank him in, visually. He allowed his tongue to dip out of its confinement, stroking his plumped lower lip before speaking again.

"Lie to yourself, if it helps you _sleep_ at night."

Without warning Edward let me go, turning on his heel brusquely walking away. He sloshed back towards the Cafeteria as the bell sounded in alarm, leaving me a throbbing mess of want, and need.

I knew in that instant, as I stood in the rain, my concerned family looking on in the distance. That Edward _owned_ me, completely. And if I continued to be near him he would continue to drain me, consume me, like the incubus he was.

The incubus he was truly _meant_ to be.

My only chance at survival would be to avoid Edward at all costs. But was that what I wanted? Did I want to be away from him, act as though he never came into my fucked up existence?

_Hell NO_!

I wanted to know him, breathe him, drink him, fuck him. _Possibly love him?_ I wanted all of him. Baggage and all. Secrets and scars. Nightmares and dreams. Half human, half dead.

I didn't fucking care anymore. There was no way I could _deny_ this any longer. Deny what he was, what I was. I would give him what he wanted, _me_. And in return I would receive _all_ of him.

Mind, body, and _blood_.

* * *

**Bella got OWNED by Ownyourassward (Edward's nickname created by queenxochitl)...**

**So...any takers now as to what our dear old Edward is???**

**Any thoughts on Edward's dad????**

**As always I'd love to hear your thoughts....being that I unfortunately do not have the "mad skills" that Cursella possesses.**

**Also, check out my _gyrl _queenxochitl story "Tomb Robber" if you havent yet...you're missing out on EGYPTWARD!!!** **_Link is on my profile =_**)


	5. Chapter 5: Revelations Part 2

**I do NOT own Twilight, nor do I profit from writing this. All creative rights to the characters/lyrics, original plot and/or dialogue, belong to their original creator(s). However, this FanFic is ALL MINE. (Lilith617: March 2010)**

**This story can also be found on The Writers Coffee Shop. Pictures accompany each chapter.**

**As always a HUGE thank you to the wonderful ShamelesslyObsessed for making sure all my T's are crossed, and my I's are dotted. She makes me perty and I *heart *her!  
Also, big ass thank you to queenxochitl for pre-reading and giving me the feedback I needed. And if you havent checked out her story "Tomb Robber" than you're nuts. Her last update was FUCK HAWT...Stalkward...sigh...Lots of BOOBIE-GROPES for her. Link is on my profile =)**

**Last BUT not least:  
THANK YOU to my readers for adding this story to your fav's as well as alerts. **

**And now without further ado...oh and WARNING, mature content below.**

* * *

"_Long lost words whisper slowly to me.  
Still can't find what keeps me here.  
When all this time I've been so hollow inside_

_I know you're still there…_

_Watching me, wanting me_  
_I can feel you pull me down._  
_Fearing you, loving you_  
_I won't let you pull me down._

_Hunting you, I can smell you - alive_  
_Your heart pounding in my head…_

_Watching me, wanting me_  
_I can feel you pull me down._  
_Saving me, raping me, watching me…_

_Watching me, wanting me_  
_I can feel you pull me down._  
_Fearing you...loving you_  
_I won't let you pull me down."_

_**Haunted: Evanescence**_

* * *

**5. Revelations Part 2**

_Fuck. My. Life._

I remained steadfast in the pouring rain, time ceasing to exist. My hair no longer curled but flattened remnants of life clung to my iced over face. My clothes black like my dead heart, weighed down by the heaviness mother nature was unleashing upon them. I welcomed the intrusion each pelt of rain left behind; stinging reminders of my reality, my life-or lack thereof.

I watched Edward walk away. My fists woven into tight little knots, my chest heaving from desire comingled with unadulterated fury. Fury because this _near_ human could fuck with my emotions yet I was unable to fuck with his.

However, I knew I needed to follow him and confront him. No matter how much I denied it the truth of the matter was that Edward _wanted_ me. And for some twisted fucked up reason…I _needed_ him.

Alice was the only one of my siblings who stood behind gesturing me as I remained statuesque to return to the Cafeteria; signaling me to take refuge beneath the awning in which sheltered her from the rain. I waved her off walking in the direction towards Biology, the direction Edward had gone. Pseudo butterflies swarmed my belly. Their wings fluttering in frenzy as I passed the buildings that would lead me to my obvious destiny. Lead me to _him_.

I was nearly there till the haunting sound of Piano keys broke my reverie. The simple repetitive melody lured me to where the Auditorium was housed, tempting me with its melancholic staccato. The heavy-metal entrance doors had been left open, allowing the timbre of each note to reach its destination…_me_. As I approached the doorway my hand rested upon the dank rusted cold, and a distinct voice rang clear. A raspy alto echoing off the acoustics designed to keep such sound in.

_It doesn't hurt me. You wanna feel how it feels? You wanna know, know that it doesn't hurt me? You wanna hear about the deal I'm making?_

He was sat shoulders slack, face furrowed in agony: heart ache. His eyes were clenched, moist errant tendrils kissed his closed lids. He sensed my approach, my presence. And I watched while his nostrils flared as my scent wafted in with the moist autumn breeze.

_And if I only could, make a deal with god, and get him to swap _our_ places…Be running up that road, be running up that hill, be running up that building…If I only could…_

His head tilted upward slightly, a deep forest of green met my gaze and the glint appeared before apparent shame shied it away. He sighed heavily, his foot tapping harshly on the pedals beneath him causing a wheezing bass to emanate from the black lacquered Steinway. He studied his fingers as they assaulted the keys; while his voice, his words- assaulted _me_.

_You don't wanna hurt me, but see how deep the bullet lies. Unaware that I'm tearing you asunder. There's a thunder in our hearts, baby. So much hate for the ones we love…_

His head rose again and I stepped forward. His eyes zeroed in on my own as he continued his ministrations.

_Tell me we both matter don't we? _

With saddened eyes he bore into me; his words a plea, a cry for help- _My help_. Each word slurring into the next with unrelenting precision.

_You _and_ me...you _and_ me…won't be unhappy… _

His words ghosted through my core as his fingers continued their painful drumming upon the ivory beneath them. His body had stiffened and the stool in which he had once been sitting on was fiercely kicked aside, the crack thundering around us.

With his stance strengthened his pain heightened- he belted out the remaining verse. Each note, each syllable- a percussion of angst directed at me and only me.

_C'mon baby. C'mon, c'mon, darling. Let me steal this moment from you now. C'mon, ANGEL. C'mon, c'mon, darling. Let's exchange the experience…_

Abruptly he stopped slamming his palms into the keys leaving behind an eerie tone before storming off the stage to exit a distance away from where I stood.

Quickly, I went to follow him. Running across the Auditorium floor to the stage entrance in which he exited through. I saw a flash of dampened bronze turn the corner and I followed in heavy pursuit.

"Edward, _WAIT_! I want to talk."

There were too many students throughout the halls for me to move like I wanted, leaving me to follow at an extremely sloth-like pace. I called for him a few more times before giving up, cursing myself for letting things get to this point.

"_Fuck_."

I decided it was best to go where I knew he would be. _Biology_. Class had already begun when I arrived. The lights were dimmed and Mr. Banner was already showing a film. I peered in, careful not to let Mr. Banner see me. I looked to the lab table where Edward and I sat.  
_Empty_.

Briskly, I scoured the grounds. Each building, each classroom, every hallway, every Janitor's closet. I followed his scent till there was nowhere left to look; till the rain had all but washed it away. The end result was clear. Edward was gone, and I fucked up.

****

That night after I had all but torn apart Forks High in search of him I moved my search to Carlisle's office. After a few minutes of breaking and entering I found Edward's file hidden within a locked cabinet.

With Edward's address safely nuzzled within my cognizance I waited till after midnight to make my move. I left from my bedroom balcony, running non-stop till I reached the small white house. I hid in the woods that lined the perimeter first, waiting for the right opportunity to make my presence known. I was just about to move forward when a hand clasped my shoulder.

"Bella, you need to wait." Jasper whispered in my ear, his hand pulling me back.

"_Why_?"

"Something is wrong. I can sense the remainder of some very strong emotions coming from that house, Bella. Alice had an odd feeling too and sent me to follow you…knowing that if your emotions…well, I could help if needed."

Jasper's presence and his caution concerned me though I pulled myself away. I had already waited too fucking long. Slowly I made my way through the yard, following Edward's familiar scent. But as I drew closer to the house I noticed Edward's scent grow stronger, _too_ strong. And it was then that I knew that Jasper was right. There was _something_ wrong, something horribly wrong.

I climbed the tree that led to a small second story window, following the scent I was eerily becoming accustomed to- though this, the strongest I'd ever experienced. My throat burned incessantly and the venom that pooled in my mouth did nothing to quell the sensation as I swallowed.

The scent was even more intense once I reached the closed, double-paned glass. I held my breath, the monster in me reeling at all the possibilities. I turned my head looking for Jasper knowing that now I did in fact _need_ him. I found him right below me; his tall lean frame rigid, a knowing look on his face. A face I had seen on those who had suffered a loss, _death_.

As Jasper went to work calming me with his talent I focused in on any signs of life hidden behind the walls.

_None_. Not even a fucking field mouse.

I gripped the window's frame lifting it with ease, and was immediately knocked back with the concentrated aroma of Edward's blood mingled with...is that _bleach_?

"Fuck, _Jasper…_" I moaned, salivating like one of Pavlov's dogs. I licked my lips and swallowed hard as a heady growl boiled in my chest and continued to push its way up my throat. The shingled wood that framed the window was already incinerated within my grasp as I forced myself into the small space that was Edward's room. Jasper followed right behind, his pupils completely dilated, eyes blackened as he took on a defensive stance.

"Bella, his blood…it's been _everywhere_." He hissed nostrils wide.

"I know…what a fucking waste." I whispered and Jasper did _not_ look amused. "_Fuck_. I _am_ a vampire, Jasper. It's in my nature."

Nevertheless, Jasper was right. Edward's blood had been in more than one place. It was glaringly obvious that it was not just a miniscule drop, but pools. Pools of Edward's decadent life force; spilt and absorbed by the hardwood sponge below.

_What. The. Fuck? _

"What the hell happened here?" Jasper snarled as he rummaged through Edward's small closet, violently sifting through its contents.

"I don't fucking know, Jasper," I replied solemnly, reality becoming glaringly apparent. "Do you smell that? Whoever did…_this_…" I waved my hand around the room frantic, "made sure to clean up after themselves." Jasper nodded.

I knew Jasper could smell the pungent aroma of chemicals left behind just as I could. And even with the immense amount that had been used to clean Edward's blood; it still wasn't enough to wash away what had happened here. Maybe to a mortal Edward's scent was hidden, but to a vampire? _Not even close_.

"Do you think…he's _dead_?" I asked my stomach curling inward with unease. Jasper remained silent giving me an unemotional glance; allowing me to contemplate Edward's mortality on my own.

After going through Edward's room for any evidence to explain what happened we continued on to search the remainder of the small house. Finding no other signs of Edward or his blood, other than what we had found- or didn't find -in his room. We were forced to leave sooner than expected when we heard a car pull in the driveway. But we didn't go far; instead we waited cloaked in shadow on the side of the house as Chief Masen exited his police cruiser.

Chief Masen's thoughts hadn't changed since the last time I read them. He was _still_ a blubbering mess of distress riddled with unmistakable fear. Panic was clearly written upon his face and his brows were heavily indented. Sweat dripped from his hairline and he somberly wiped the rivulets dry with his trembling palm.

_He knows something._

Jasper and I patiently stood with narrowed eyes, suspicion fogging the air around us. We listened for anything that would explain the grotesque cover up that had taken place not more than one-hundred feet from where we stood. We waited for what felt like forever till the sound of Chief Masen's snores sent us away. Our thoughts sluggishly inundated with unanswered questions. I knew then at that moment that that day would be the last time I would ever see Edward Masen.

****

Stubborn, I refused to give up.

I had gone back to Edward's room every night since then. Always before Chief Masen came home from his shift. Each night I would wait, sat in a rocking chair that adorned the far corner of his room. Hidden within the recesses of darkness, in case Edward made a debut. I remained focused. Listening and observing for _any_ sign that Edward was alright…_alive_.

I would stare at the bed that Edward had once rested on. It was made, never unkempt. I imagined his sinewy frame sprawled out in comfort, his body tangled within the soft cotton sheets. But all too soon the reality of Edward's absence would haunt me. And just like his fading image, I too was beginning to wither away. Rapidly falling fast into an oblivion of nothingness.

Once I even dared to look through his drawers but was sent into a fit of rage when I found them empty. The room, as well as the few pieces of furniture within it; were devoid of any remnants of the boy that once lived there. It was as though Edward had never existed.

I shuddered at the fucking thought.

Even my family at one point had tried to help. Tried to coerce what little information they could from Chief Masen. Carlisle had called him the following day after Jasper and I had told him of our discovery. Though there were no longer any physical signs of Edward's blood, his scent still remained: a cloud that failed to dissipate. Nonetheless, we piqued Carlisle's interest who now wanted answers as well.

Carlisle informed Chief Masen that it was imperative that he see Edward for a "Hospital Follow-up," stating that something was overlooked on an X-ray. Edward's "_father_" replied that Edward was well, and would no longer require Carlisle _or_ the Hospital's services any longer before rudely hanging up. Even Emmett tried a few days later; saying he was a friend from school. He was told that Edward had gone away. He was told Edward would not be coming back.

So..._Two weeks, three days, four hours, twenty-three minutes, and seventeen seconds later. _

Another tick of the second hand, another moment spent agonizing over what I may have missed, what I did wrong. With each nanosecond it felt like a lifetime had passed by since I had breathed in his divine scent, or tasted it on my tongue.

_Two weeks, three days, four hours, twenty-five minutes, and forty seconds. _

I resigned myself to take fault for Edward's absence.

I had been sitting alone during Lunch for the past week or so and today was no different. My family still sat at our _usual_ lunch table not too far from me.

…_Bella, honey. You need to move on…Don't you think you've suffered enough? _

My sister Rosalie had been trying in vain to get me to break out from the cocoon I had so tightly woven myself into. I hadn't fed, hadn't wanted to, and didn't plan to. For once in my life I had a conscience, and it was fucking torturing me. But I loved it, it made me feel alive. It gave me the same sensation that Edward's touch had elicited. A feeling of life.

I had already decided earlier in the week that if Edward _did_ come back- by some chance miracle- that I would apologize. Allow the chips to fall where they may. I would never deny him again. Deny us.

I was gazing out the large picture frame window, watching the rain as it wept down the glass. Tiny rivers of cleanliness clung to a grimy sheer facade. The image reminding me of the first day I had seen Edward.

_I was lost_. Hidden within my own mind, allowing his memory to molest me.

Could _we have been…happy?_

All too soon I was pulled from my own internal hell, a place that I had enjoyed escaping to. And it wasn't Alice's loud gasp or Skank-ley's squeaky '_hello'_ followed by immediate pornographic thoughts that awoke me.

No, it was a voice. _That_ voice. A voice that I had sworn I would never again hear for as long as I was sentenced to linger on this god forsaken planet.

It was low, it was seductive, and it was _all_ Edward. It teased my senses and wrapped itself around me coating me in the most beautiful scent. Sugary sweet yet full of man, _my man. _I had succumbed to my insanity. I was _officially_ having delusions. Beautiful, sweet-

"Is this seat taken?"

I spun so quickly that I nearly flew off my chair. My mouth hung open as I stared at Edward's looming frame. He was much paler than the last time I had seen him. His eyes were dull, almost lifeless and surrounded by dark-purple circles. He looked how I felt.

Sad… _Broken_.

Immediately I rose from my seat, my arms instinctively reaching for him before I realized what I was doing.

"Edward_, _you're…you're _alive_?"I managed to sputter out, retreating quickly.

"Barely," he mumbled, shoving his hands into the pocket of his dark faded jeans. I noticed him wince slightly when the thick leather cuff he wore on his right wrist wouldn't enter his pocket smoothly. Frustrated, Edward looked towards the empty chair before looking around the large room with trepidation.

"I'm sorry, Edward. Please, sit down." I gestured towards the chair, and he smirked slightly gripping the corner of the chair and spinning it on its leg with one hand before straddling the seat- his chest flush with the back. He produced a bottle of lemonade from his back pocket and placed it on the table before us; removing its cap only to spin it like a top between two of his fingers.

"So…are you going to tell me what the fuck happened?" I asked touching his arm reverently, wasting no time at all. A feeling of concern washed over me and I looked towards Jasper but he shook his head.

…_That's all you, darlin'… _

"Why do you care? I thought you didn't want to be my friend?"

Edward's lack luster eyes looked worn and distant. He wouldn't make eye contact with me; instead he continued to look around the room anxiously as if waiting for something to jump out at him.

"Edward, I never said I didn't want to be your friend. I said we _shouldn't_ be friends," I swallowed hard. "But I've decided that it doesn't matter anymore. None of that shit does."

I had finally caught his attention as he looked at me bemused. "Huh, it doesn't matter," he repeated flatly. "Well that changes things." He was void of any life, any spark.

"I suppose it does," I replied confidently, observing every detail of him before me.

"So we're friends now?" His tone was sarcastic yet full of longing.

"Yeah…something like that." I wanted to touch him, ask him a million questions, help him.

_Huh?_

Edward's eyes remained slightly wide as he stared at the bottle cap that now lay flat on the table. The silence that simmered between us only intensified the pull that always seemed to be present when we were this close. I cleared my throat hoping to pull him out of his fog.

"Hey, I think your girlfriend is angry that I stole you before she could get her filthy paws on you." I pointed my head towards Skank-leys direction where she was stood with arms crossed, foot tapping, and glowering towards my direction.

…_Fucking bitch. Who the hell does Bella think she is? And why is Edward ignoring me? And why-_

"She'll survive," he replied not even bothering to look. I chanced a moment to look at Jasper, wording a silent '_help me_.'

…_Bella, I can't. Believe me I've tried. There is so much pain coming from him…Bella…you have to help him…_Jasper thought and I silently agreed before quickly stepping up my game.

"She may survive _now_, Edward. But…what if I don't want to give you back?" With that I finally got Edward to look at me. His eyes glazed over as he leaned towards me. I reciprocated.

"Is that so, Bella Cullen, you want to keep me for _yourself_?" His question held a double entendre and he knew that I understood.

"Yeah, I do as a matter of fact." Edward watched me intently as I spoke, his eyes on my lips as they moved. "See, I look at it like this, Edward. I figure that since I'm _already_ going to hell why not take someone along for the ride. There's no sense going alone, right?"

"Hah. True," he snickered and slowly I could see Edward coming back to life. "So would you say that you're finally giving up…or giving in?"

"_Hmmm._ Was that your plan all along _Mr. Masen_, for me to give in? Succumb to your every whim?" His head was cast downward but his eyes flirtatiously looked at me through heavy dark lashes. His lips were pulled to their fullest, displaying a devious smile. He was dazzling _me_…once _again_.

_Mother fucker!_

He didn't answer. He left me to ponder my own questions as he smirked, shaking his head slowly from side to side.

"I _never_ give up," I defended not too subtly, stopping his movements so he'd look at me.

"Then what are you doing, Bella?" He asked, our bodies leaned towards the other, oblivious to the world around us. I could feel the shift in his mood as easy as Jasper would when I hadn't answered immediately.

"Are you playing with me, _again_?" He asked irate, pulling away.

"No, I am not fucking playing with you. And what the hell do you mean, _again_?" He shook me off, refusing to answer.

_Like he should fucking talk. I distinctly remember a skanky little ho-bag jumping around on his lap not too long ago. I do not like double standard_-

"Edward, I am _giving in_," I said softly continuing, whilst gritting my teeth. "I'm tired of trying to stay away from you. I just can't anymore. Isn't that what you wanted? "

"Bella…you have no idea of the things I want…the things I _need_." He turned his head away.

I felt like I had just run a triathlon, my body felt weak. I was beginning to feel unsure as to whether I could deal with the weight this fucking man carried on his shoulders. I felt overly stressed, if that shit was even possible.

"_Edward_?" I asked desperately trying to get his attention. He appeared lost in thought. "You're right. I don't know what you need. But…I am here if you want to tell me. Of course it is your choice you know. You can avoid me…if you were smart you just might-"

_Please don't avoid me, please _don't_ avoid me…_

"What if I don't want the choice? What if I want someone else to decide for me? What if I'm too fucking tired to care anymore, Bella?" I could feel the warmth of his hand as it grazed my forearm gently. The gesture was innocent but none the less distracting.

He rose a little from his seat, unnerved again after I hadn't answered immediately- repeating himself. "What. If. I. Don't. Want. The. Choice?"

_Oh-kay_.

I met him halfway, rising a little. All niceness aside now. "Actually, I'm counting on that," I spat snidely.

We both sat back in our seats, eyeing the other. We may have looked like we wanted to rip each other's throat out…well, okay maybe one of us did. But, the obvious sexual tension was intense. I could even see that it was affecting my siblings who were all ready to leap from their own seats at this point.

It wasn't until I noticed the complete silence surrounding us that lunch had ended. Edward rose first, breaking our comfortable silent stare.

"Shit, we're gonna be late. Maybe we can finish this conversation later, after school?" He asked, looking towards the exit than back to me. I could see he was torn between staying and going. I scanned the room noting it was now completely empty except for Edward and me.

"I've decided not to go to Biology today…or the rest of my classes for that matter." I crossed my arms across my chest smugly.

"And why is that, may I ask?" He was now gentlemanly. All signs of his earlier crassness gone.

_Shit, and I thought _my_ mood-swing's caused whiplash? _

"They're doing blood typing today." I scrunched my nose up in mock disgust.

"Oh. Well, then I can definitely see where that could be a problem," he laughed glancing towards the exit one last time, indecisive.

"Yes, it very well _could_ be…If you're there."

He looked at me; waiting for laughter that would never come. My lower lip was tightly confined within my teeth as I fought the urge to physically show him what I meant. He shuffled his feet before speaking again.

"Well in that case. Let's ditch, shall we? They _do_ say it's healthy." He began walking towards the exit to the parking lot and I got up to follow.

"Who's 'they'?" I asked amused at his sudden playfulness.

"I don't know," he shrugged. "Whoever they are."

Our laughs could be heard echoing the empty Cafeteria as we exited into the parking lot, our bodies snug side by side.

****

I knew that the cutesy moment we were sharing could not last. I still needed to know what happened to him. It was my turn to ask the questions, be demanding.

I started to walk towards the forest that lined the school. The rain had let up and Washington's monotonous mist was left behind. I knew that once we were under the canopy of the trees there would be less chance of us getting wet. Though a wet Edward…

Edward was now following my lead; not questioning, not wandering as we made our way further into the dense wood. I glanced back once to check him only to find his head down, palms in his pockets, completely submissive. He was aware of what was coming.

I stopped in a small clearing, a large moss covered boulder sat in the center of the thicket, appearing misshapen and out of place. Edward resigned himself to lean against it. His taut body leant back against the plush moss as his palms pressed firmly against the rocks ridges, seeking purchase. I stepped towards him softly, harmlessly, stopping when he spoke.

"I know you were in my room," he continued to look down. "Your scent was _all_ over…it was recent too." He lifted his head and I nodded confirming what he already knew.

"I had gone to your room every night since- Edward, what happened to you? Your blood…you should be-" I could feel the venom pooling in my mouth just like it had that night, the fire lining my throat. "Did someone hurt you? You need to tell me. I can't help you if you don't tell me."

"No one hurt me, Bella," he sighed heavily, defeated. "_I_ hurt me. I _did_ this."

With that he shoved his leather cuffed wrist towards me, nervously untying the leather thread that held it together. Once removed, everything had become clear.

The pools of blood. The clean up.

Edward had tried to end his own life, but failed horribly. The fresh wounds still scabbed over; silvery-pink strokes scattered and grooved over pale flesh. It was an epitaph to Edward's life, and proof that it was in fact Edward that had spilt his own blood of his own accord. But the most eerie part was that this hadn't been the first time. Because beneath those ragged lines were scars of darkened silver of attempts past.

_Fucking wonderful. A suicidal half-breed. Only me…_

"Judge me all you want, Bella. Unlike _you_ my father failed to finish the job," he spat. "His only concern had to do with _fucking_ my mortal mother. Whom might I add had to fucking die just so she could give birth to me. Me… her fucking monster of a son."

I gasped in disbelief as Edward turned his head in revolt. Though I was certain that Edward was part vampire, a part of me didn't want to believe that such a being existed. It was like believing in unicorns, or fucking werewolves. That shit just wasn't _real_. But then again _they_ say vampires aren't real either but here I stand.

It was now obvious that Edward's father was just like Tanya. Only difference… he could spread _his_ seed.

"See…I even disgust _you_. You won't even look at me." He said brusquely before pushing himself off the boulder his force moving it backward significantly.

_Vampiric strength. Check. _

"No, _no_!" I looked directly at him moving closer to him with every shake of my head. "You don't disgust me, Edward. You could never- it's just a lot to take in."

"A lot to take in? You're fucking kidding me, right? How do you think I felt, moving here after hiding for so long? _Finally_, finding a place where I won't sparkle like a princesses fucking tiara all the time. Only to find that the place harbors a coven of vampires?"

I had to laugh. A tiara, _seriously_? Was that fucking normal? I wouldn't even go there. Not today.

_Sparkling vampire. Uh…double check?_

"You'll have to show me some time," I said trying to conceal the hysterics that were building within me while trying to break the tension. It worked. Edward looked away, a smirk pulling at his mouth before his face became sullen once more.

_Aw, come on!_

"Bella, it's either all or nothing. I'm tired of hiding, tired of moving. I just…I can't even fucking kill myself. I _won't_ die, Bella. You can vouch for that." He showed me his wrists once more. The mangled flesh a reminder that no amount of blood loss could kill him.

_Huh…Now _that_ is an interesting concept_

"So you cleaned up after yourself, after you tried to slit your own wrists? Which obviously was an epic fail," he nodded in affirmation. "Have you ever been bitten? Do you think the process can be completed?"

_What the hell was I asking him? What was I thinking?_

Edward looked at me knowingly as I brought myself directly before him. His eyes were alive with possibilities. Possibilities I was unsure I could procure. I reached my hand towards him placing it lightly on his chest just above his rapidly beating heart, and before I knew what happened I was pulled roughly into his grasp. His back slamming against the boulder as my body pressed firmly against his. I tilted my head upward, gazing at the Adonis before me, licking my lips.

"I'm willing to try if you are," his words left him in a breathless whisper before his lips came down to meet mine. I stood on my tippy toes as I licked his lower lip. Tasting the sweetness that was _all_ Edward.

_Vampire seductiveness. Triple-fucking-check._

Before I could think I was wrapped around him. My legs straddling his waist, my fingers gripped within the bronze hair that I had been yearning to touch for so long. Edward's hands were beneath me gripping my ass, holding me in place as he carried me. He pushed me back against the boulder, his hardened shaft pushing madly into my covered core. Our lips locked in frenzy, teeth clattering as we sucked, and traced the other's tongue with our own.

Edward's hips continued to push into my own, vigorously rubbing against my swollen clit. Driving me _in-fucking-sane_. I gripped the hem of his shirt, quickly lifting it above his head before throwing it to the side taking in the rock hard body before me. Instinctively my face nuzzled into his neck and I breathed a long and heady breath.

I was so close to orgasm. Edward's gyrating, his scent, his blood now only inches away from me. Three layers of skin keeping us apart. Keeping me from heaven. Sweet, decadent heaven. I traced the pulsation his carotid hammered with the tip of my tongue as Edward buried his mouth in the crook of my neck suckling my hard flesh below.

As I licked the sheen coating of sweat from his neck, I let my flattened tongue wander, running over his abrasive jaw allowing the stubble to prick my tongue with every pass. It wasn't long before my mouth hovered precariously above the flash point in his neck once again.

It was time.

I licked my lips once more, panting cool air heavily onto Edward's over heated flesh.

"Are you sure? Is this…Is this what you truly want?" I breathed, moaning wantonly as my fingers gripped the hairs at the nape of his neck, pulling him closer to my mouth, closer to his destiny.

_Our_ destiny.

That little fucking thing I called a conscience returned suddenly with a sick vengeance, making me second guess my actions. I could already envision Alice in utter chaos, trying to ascertain where I was so she could stop me from making the biggest fucking mistake of my life.

_What if I drank too much, what if _I_ killed him? Is Alice seeing this…fuck!?!?!_

"... I've drained myself dry, Bella. To the point where my heart has stopped…only to wake up hours later needing to feed," Edward said, sensing my obvious distress. "You can't hurt me…_please _do this, Bella…for me."

With Edward's reassurance I was back in the game. Edward's finger trailing into my now unbuttoned jeans only added to my confidence boost as well.

"_Fuck_, Bella…you're so wet," he groaned as his long fingers entered me, playing me like I was his own musical instrument. Pushing, and deepening with each pulsation of his heart.

"_Edward_…" I moaned as I rode his fingers, my body unraveling by the second. The nearer to orgasm I got, the nearer to Edward's neck my mouth swayed. Before I knew it my teeth were bared and my lips were cupping his flesh.

As I bit down, Edward's flesh, pliant like butter allowed me entry to his glorious vessels. And as the thick nectar began to encompass my mouth Edward's thumb nail grazed my clit sending me over the precipice of desire. My body shook as my orgasm slammed through me, my muscles clenching around his beautiful fingers while his saccharine blood coated my throat.

It was everything I expected and more. It was euphoric, ethereal. I wanted _more_. I needed more. My eyes rolled into the back of my head as I sucked the syrupy liquid that coursed through Edward's body.

I sucked…and sucked, dragging out mouthfuls of the liquid drug. And with each drop I took I gave him double that in venom. Infiltrating his eager blood vessels with what I had to offer, until I could feel his heart weakening. The beats becoming grave…near shallow.

I pulled away, looking down at a nearly hunched Edward. My legs now wrapped haphazardly around his upright frame. I was becoming keenly aware of Edward's lips ghosting over the now sensitive flesh of my forearm. His mouth parting slightly before suctioning his swollen lips around the diameter of my wrist.

The initial sensation caused my already swollen center to twitch; the second was fucking orgasmic as his teeth bit through my flesh with the utmost of ease.

Edward was drinking from _me_. His free hand gripping my small hand with brute force as he took from me. His irises alight with speckled crimson; his own blood infused with my venom, while his pupils gleamed like the fucking sun.

He moaned wantonly while his teeth dug deeper, and deeper into my flesh. The pain the most pleasurable thing I had ever experienced.

Edward looked to me supplicatingly, pleading with his eyes for me to let him continue. And of course I would allow him. I would allow him to take every fucking bit of me, every fucking drop.

Whatever Edward wanted, Edward would have.

Because I was his, and he was fucking _mine_.

And who the fuck was _I_ to deny fate?

* * *

**Okay...phew...what the hell is up with Ownyourassward, huh?!?!**

**Just want to share some info before I go.  
The song Edward is singing is called "Running up that hill" by Placebo, you can find it on Youtube.  
Also, I am HEAVILY influenced by Anne Rice. So many of the characteristics you see are taken from her amazing vampires. Edwards glowing eyes for one. **

**I have also paid tribute to Taylor Lautners SNL skit called Lab Partners. If you havent seen it you MUST!!!! It can be found on Youtube as well as NBC's website.**

**As always share your thoughts. Do you hate this story, wanna throw your computer out the window? Do you love it, wanna hump your computer *wags eyebrows*?**


	6. Chapter 6: Mind Over Matter

I do NOT own Twilight, nor do I profit from writing this. All creative rights to the characters/lyrics, original plot and/or dialogue, belong to their original creator(s). However, this FanFic is ALL MINE. (Lilith617: March 2010)

**This story can also be found at The Writers Coffee Shop, pictures accompany every chapter. It can also be found at Twi-Hard as well =)**

**As always THANK YOU ShamelesslyObsessed for fitting me into your RL. You are an AMAZING woman and I am SO glad I have you to play barbies with ;)  
queenxochitl, you rock my world! Thank you for pre-reading and doing what you do best...you are fuckawesome! **

**THANK YOU to each and everyone of you that take the time to read this crazy fic. Thank you for your reviews, your alerts, and adding me to your fav's. You ALL rock! **

**NOW...BIG ASS WARNING! Mature/Adult/NC-17 content below...you catch my drift...**

* * *

"_I've got my head, but my head is unraveling  
Can't keep control, can't keep track of where it's traveling  
I've got my heart but my heart is no good  
And you're the only one that's understood_

_I come along but I don't know where you're taking me_  
_I shouldn't go but you're wrenching, dragging, shaking me_  
_Turn off the sun, pull the stars from the sky_  
_The more I give to you, the more I die_

_And I want you_  
_And I want you_  
_And I want you_  
_And I want you_

_You are the perfect drug, the perfect drug, the perfect drug…_

_You make me hard, when I'm all soft inside  
I see the truth, when I'm all stupid eyed  
The arrow goes straight through my heart  
Without you everything just falls apart_

_My blood wants to say hello to you_  
_My fears want to get inside of you_  
_My soul is so afraid to realize_  
_How very little there is left of me_

_And I want you_  
_And I want you_  
_And I want you_  
_And I want you_

_You are the perfect drug, the perfect drug, the perfect drug…_

_Take me with you…_

_Without you, without you everything falls apart_  
_Without you, it's not as much fun to pick up the pieces."_

_**The Perfect Drug: Nine Inch Nails**  
_

* * *

**6. Mind Over Matter**

_Wait!_

A moment of clarity hit me with the force of a wrecking ball as I took in the scene before me. "Edward, that's _enough_, stop!" I snarled as Edward's teeth nearly cut through the complete width of my small wrist.

He had been taking drags from me like his life depended upon consuming all that was within me. Fiercely, I pulled my wrist from his tightened grasp. The sound of tearing flesh could not be ignored as Edward's teeth were extricated rather roughly from their position, and the hand that had also been deep within my pants had too fallen free.

_Shit_. I gasped as emptiness claimed me once again.

Edward lithely fell to the forest floor, his eyes fluttering behind heavy lids, a devilish grin spread across his face as he licked the remainder of the fruits of his labor wantonly from his moistened lips; all the while pulling his shirt back over his head before laying flat against the ground.

"I want _more_," he cooed before stretching his arms above his head. His gray cotton shirt rode up his abdomen revealing a soft patch of downy hair just below his belly button, the trail disappearing beneath his button-fly jeans.

"Why would you want more?" I asked disgusted, knowing that my own venom tasted metallic when flooding my own mouth. Besides, he'd had enough.

"You don't understand," he muttered. "It makes me feel…_alive._" His words were but a whisper as his body came down from the high it had been riding. I listened as his heart remained a slow, almost lethargic drum.

"Edward, you _are_ alive." I interjected, though completely understanding what he had meant.

He rolled his eyes at me, ignoring my words.

Like a flash of lightning, realization reared its ugly head and I became consciously aware of the soon to be outcome of our little tryst.

_What the fuck was I thinking?_

Any second now Edward's heart would dwindle to an even graver rhythm before galloping hopelessly to its imminent death and with Edward's death would come the absence of his decadent blood.

_FUCK_! _What have I done?_ …I don't want him to change

I glared at him, now irate with his manipulative prowess. _Knowing_ he fucking lured me into this situation using his suicidal tendencies as a way to get under my skin, _literally_. This was all a game, a stupid insignificant game. I would lose in the end, just like I always did.

_What a self righteous prick. _

Seething, I stood above him. My fists clenched taut, nails just piercing the alabaster stone beneath them. Impatiently, I waited for his heart to stop, while I licked the remaining blood from the crease of my lips. Even cold and arid it was still appetizing; but the mere thought of his deception just made me loathe him more bringing me to spit what little I held in my mouth at him. Droplets of diluted red splattered like paint across his chest. The gray cotton quickly absorbing the liquid like a sponge

"I hope you're fucking happy, _now_," I hissed wiping the back of my palm roughly over my lips, ridding myself of any trace of his blood. Tanya will find this quite amusing I am sure, once I told her of course. She would agree that Edward was definitely living up to his name sake.

_Like father like son. _

With my anger at a bubbling simmer I listened intently for the faltering heart that should now be succumbing to the immense amount of venom that had been both released, _and_ willingly taken into Edward's blood stream.

But, instead of death Edward's heart began to sing in crescendo, returning to what was considered normal for him but deadly for a _real_ human. It rang like a siren, strengthening by the second as he peacefully lolled on the sodden earth.

Apparently, Edward was immune to vampire venom. Apparently, Edward could not be turned.

_Son. Of. A. Bitch._

I laughed aloud, covering my open mouth as I tried to conceal the guffaws that escaped. As if he could read my thoughts –which would be fucking _hilarious _if he could- he slowly opened his eyes. They remained in tight slits as he stared up from the wet ground he had taken respite on. His arms crossed beneath his head, his brow deeply furrowed, face a scowl. I watched, pleased, as he again was overcome with the consumption of desperation as realization struck him.

"It's not working," he whispered. His voice was strained, and full of disappointment.

"Hah, I'd fucking say so." I was finding it hard not to just lean down and laugh in his face. I was still beyond pissed, all that bullshit he spewed about me being the _only_ one. He could care less. I was just a pawn, a fucking sacrifice.

"Hmm," he said thoughtful, his fingers pinching the bridge of his nose, one arm still resting beneath his head. "Well did you do it right? Is it possible you're defective?" The words rolled of his tongue with blatant sarcasm and immediately I became defensive.

"_Excuse me_, did you just ask if I was _defective_?" I leered down upon him taking a defensive stance. Edward began to right himself, slowly rising so that he was once again towering over me. "You know what? Fuck you, Edward. I. Am. Not. Defective. You _my_ friend are the defective one."

He winced slightly as my words singed him, poking him in the chest harshly as I did. He looked down to his feet as he shifted from foot to foot. I could tell I had hit a soft spot but still.

_What the fuck?_

"Then why aren't I changing, why am I still…_human_?" He spat the last word venomously, smacking his palms against his chest before beginning to pace before me. "Your venom…it's sterile or some shit."He murmured underneath his breath, dismissing me with his hand.

I grabbed his arm roughly, stopping his footsteps before gripping his chin and pulling him down to eye level; digging my nails into the supple flesh that lay snug over his mandible. The tiny hairs pricked my finger tips as I added more pressure, my eyes boring deep into the jade of his own, the now familiar glint appeared as a throaty growl emanated from his chest.

"You think you're the first person I turned? Do you, _Edward_? You think you're fucking special?" My body shook, furious with the accusation he had thrown at me. He didn't know shit about me, and he never fucking would.

Immediately my words reminded me of James; causing an unneeded memory of why I stood alone here today. I regretted ever speaking them instantly.

_Asshole_.

With my nails still piercing Edward's flesh I saw what _I_ believed to be resignation in his eyes. Tiny droplets of crimson wet my fingertips and I became distracted as the rivulets trailed down my fingers before branching like vines over the back of my pallid hand.

Entranced, my mouth watered as I followed the pinkish brush strokes left clinging to my skin, the scent wafting around me like steam. Edward's light chortle pulled me from my stupor and I gnashed my lower lip, yearning for one more taste; one more drop before he walked out of my life for good- taking with him his precious sanctity.

Edward placed his hand around my fingers which had still not relinquished their position. He pushed them further into his softened flesh, eliciting a soft moan to leave his parted lips. A torrent of minute rivers seeped over my fingers, and I looked to him quizzically.

_Masochist_…?

"Go on," he urged pulling my blood covered hand free from his jaw before placing it before my lips. My body felt…_compelled_ to listen as he spoke, do as he said. His blood was my aphrodisiac and he knew it. It's scent like a drug, my own personal brand of heroin, my drug of choice. And I had to have more. And I had to have it now.

Edward escorted my thumb into my mouth and I immediately sucked the candied syrup from its length. I began to add my index and middle fingers; while Edward's hand gently held the now healed wrist he had been feeding from earlier: goading me, guiding me.

I twirled my tongue over the tip of each finger, dipping them tauntingly into the dark abyss of my mouth as Edward watched with mouth agape, breathy moans leaving him in response.

_Two can play this fucking game, Edward. Two can play…_

I savored the metallic yet saccharine flavor that had taunted me from the day I first met my fallen angel, the day he had made me want him so badly.

I pulled my fingers from my lips, my eyes locked on the crawling streams of red adhering to Edward's Adam's apple. I moved in closer, my head tilting upward, reaching for a little slice of heaven. I slowly traced the tip of my tongue against Edward's warm flesh, trailing a line of cooled wetness from the hollow of his throat to where the roughness from his scruff began. Tickling the healing crescent shaped mark I had created earlier as I passed. He swallowed hard, his Adam's apple bobbing against my lips. It would be too easy, too anticlimactic to just rip his throat out…right here, right now.

Edward's fingers found purchase in the back of my hair, pulling me forcibly against him. I could feel his hardened cock as he pressed our bodies firmly together. I licked up his neck, my tongue scraping like a cat's over the sand paper flesh as I let not one drop, dried _or_ moist, go to waste.

I continued my ministrations, stopping only momentarily to push Edward brusquely so he lay flat against the cold earth. I straddled his waist, grinding my ever tingling core directly over his rigid shaft. I suckled the puncture marks left behind from my nails, pulling any remaining fluid from them before his body began to heal; while Edward gripped my hips arching his back off the ground and slamming his denim covered cock painfully against me. I wanted him, all of him. _NOW_.

A thought came to mind as I gyrated against him, soft pants left his lips as his fingers inched beneath the hem of my shirt.

_Edward cannot be changed…Oh my…He can't be changed_.

To say that that revelation didn't please me would be an outright fucking lie. I couldn't be any fucking happier that the little half-breed survived. No less, his blood supply restored almost immediately after I had taken it. I hid my newfound exuberance as Edward pushed his hands beneath the wire of my bra, rubbing the pads of his thumbs over my already hardened nipples.

He gripped the puckered peaks between two fingers, twisting and pulling as he leaned upward gripping my hair and pulling my head closer to his face so that his mouth rested on my ear, "I want to fuck you, Bella. I _need_ to fuck you. _Right now_."

I pulled away, my hands knotted in his stained tee. I looked down upon the beautiful man before me. His lips were swollen with desire, body tense and wanting. His eyes had dilated into black orbs, fueled with a predatory intensity. Edward was eager, rolling his hips upward between my spread thighs.

"Soon, Edward…_soon_."I said though eyeing him questioningly through narrowed lids.

He was clearly using me, and _had_ used me. The fact was that he would never see me the way I wished he would see me, never see me as someone worthy of love, _his_ love.

Fuck. Did I want Edward to love me? Did I want to love Edward?

_Fuck me sideways!_

Does it really even matter, all this inconsequential bullshit? I was sure I was destined to be a lone fucking harpy for all eternity regardless. Though the thought of being alone, without Edward was near painful.

_Was it possible for a dead, frozen heart to break? Sure it was…just ask James. He would know…_

Fuck this thing called a conscience. I don't fucking want it! If Edward wanted to play this game of _Russian Roulette_ then I was more than willing to participate…_for now_.

Turning down the internal battle within my mind, I fished between Edward and I. Nimbly beginning to undo the buttons on his jeans while continuing to pepper his neck with suckling kisses. Edward's cock was straining beneath its confines, twitching to get the hell out.

Once I had his jeans undone Edward lifted his hips and I pushed the offending fabric down only to find that there was no other fabric beneath.

Edward goes commando…_Nice_.

Once his cock was sprung free from its materialistic prison it stood at attention before me. Just begging to be touched…_tasted_.

I slowly made my way down Edward's chest, my fingers splayed out above me, my torso rubbing feverishly against the hardened flesh of his arousal. The fingers that had been covered not moments before with Edward's blood were now wrapped like a present within his warm moist mouth. He sucked on them fervently, sending a flash of lightning right to my clit.

"Do you feel what you do to me, Bella? Just feel _me_…" he breathed, insistent as he lifted his torso to meet mine. I moaned lasciviously, meeting his upward thrusts with my downward ones.

I continued down his chest, rubbing my clothed clitoris over his thigh, needing friction desperately. I lifted his shirt, circling his pebbled nipples with my tongue before reaching the slight trail of downy curls that would take me to the soldier below.

He was thick, hard, and glorious, and fully attentive. His soft skin wept as I licked a cool line up his shaft, beginning at the base. I rolled my flattened tongue over the tip lapping up the salty pearl that awaited me there.

"Mmmm…," I moaned before taking him completely in my mouth, pulling him completely to the back of my throat. I swirled my tongue around him while I created a vacuum, slowly releasing him and pulling back only to devour him whole once more.

"Unggggh…_fuck_, Bella. Are you trying to kill me?" Edward grunted, and I refused to relent continuing to suckle him with fervor.

_Not yet. _I thought smugly.

I knew Edward was close as he hardened even further in my mouth. His hand tightened in my hair and I exposed my teeth infinitesimally, grazing the length of him as he plunged his cock deep into the back of my throat. I took my free hand and dipped it below the hem of my own jeans, sliding my fingers between my awaiting slickened folds before plunging two fingers deep inside. My body mewled at the sensation, my juices dripped down my palm.

"_Bellaaaaaa…._" Edward moaned, lifting his head to watch me. "Are you fucking fingering _yourself_?" He asked incredulously, the white of his eye near black with savage lust. They rolled into the back of his head before focusing on me once more as he held his heavy head high to watch me.

"Fuck _me_…" He grumbled and I released a throaty moan at his declaration. Sending vibration after vibration over the hypersensitive flesh still encased by my mouth. I looked up through my lashes at his tightened jaw, his open mouth gasping for air as the movement of his hips became sporadic. "I'm gonna cum, Bella…_oh god_…I'm gonna cum in your fucking mouth!"

His ass tensed beneath me and I wrapped my small hand around his scrotum, applying just the right amount of pressure as he groaned my name further; his warm, thick seed coming in rampant spurts, coating and warming the cool lining of my throat as it did. I swallowed everything he had to offer me, savoring the saltiness that remained at the roof of my mouth with the tip of my tongue as my own orgasm ripped through me.

My fingers pumped furiously as my thumb pressed firmly against my clit, crying Edward's name in sweet, sweet ecstasy as I came hard. My own fluids coating everything in its wake.

I continued to rock against my palm, fingers still deep within as I lifted my lust hazed eyes to meet Edward's once more. I could feel him hardening already as he watched me with a feral eye as I continued to fuck myself shamelessly.

"Give me that," he demanded and abruptly pulled my hand from between my legs, bringing my fluid coated fingers to his lips. I keened at the absence though was spellbound by the action. He traced the pink flesh of his lips with the wetness that coated my finger tips before sticking my thumb and the two adjacent digits into his mouth.

"You…taste divine. _Mmmm_," he continued to lap up the sticky fluid till there was nothing left, swirling his tongue between them, sucking off the tangy syrup before releasing them. "I want more of that…more of _you_…" He ground his hips hard up against me as he pulled my body up his torso.

"Next time, _I_ am going to do that," he said as he held up my hand, "…with my tongue. And then I'm going to fuck you senseless." His scolding words lit me like a fuse.

It was already late afternoon by the time Edward and I had finished our afternoon rendezvous. We made our way through the thicket back towards the student parking lot. My car sat alone on the black asphalt, my siblings along with the rest of Forks High's population long gone.

"Can you give me a ride home?" He asked looking around the empty lot; his hands tucked into his pockets, leather cuff back in place. His demeanor screamed avoidance, and possibly _regret_?

"I can give you ride to _my_ house," I answered waiting for his reluctance to appear. "If you don't mind? I need…uh, proof that I didn't kill you."

A soft chuckle escaped his lips, "Oh…so your family, they know about me?" I could sense the wariness in his tone.

"Ugh…yeah. They know _of_ you, but not of your…Eh, situation?" I replied unsure of how to word his answer correctly. He shook his head in understanding as he went to walk over to the passenger side; I grabbed his arm stopping him where he stood. He looked to me questioningly as I proceeded to place my hand over his chest. I loved the feel of his heartbeat beneath my fingers tips. It made me want him more; the life that fluttered within him was sacred. The fact that he thought it was a disgrace was fucking pathetic.

"Can you do me a favor?" I asked, taking his leather cuffed wrist into my palm.

"Well that depends, Bella. What is it that you need?" He gazed down upon me, his eyes warm and inviting; hidden behind thick flitting lashes.

"If it's not too much," I looked down at the bound leather, my palm still grasping it concernedly. "Can you warn me beforehand, the next time you decide to take your mortality into your own hands?"

"Why, Bella?" He asked, placing a loose tendril of hair behind my ear, allowing the pads of his fingers to gently graze my cheek as he pulled back.

"So I can stop you." I whispered reverently.

He smiled warmly as he thought about his reply. "So, the infamous Bella Cullen is worried about me?" He placed both palms on either side of my face. The warmth that seeped into my pores was remarkable. I didn't want it to ever go away. Slowly he leaned his body lower, hovering his lips above my own.

_Fuck, the things this man __did to my insides when he was this near. _

"Did you ever think that maybe my number has been up for a while, Bella? Or maybe that you shouldn't interfere with fate?"

His tone was cynical, his questions haunting; and immediately I shuddered at his intent. Whether he was or _had _been playing a game with me no longer mattered. What mattered was the fiery liquid that lined his veins, his arteries, and his heart. _He_ mattered. As I stood before him it became clearer by the second. I needed to take care of him. I could never allow any harm to ever come to him.

"What do you mean, Edward?" I asked disconcertingly.

"My number, Bella. It was up the first time we met. You remember, don't you?" Edward's warm gaze became a hardened stare and his words icy.

"How-"

"My senses are just as acute as yours. My sense of smell, sight. I knew what you were the second I laid eyes on you." He smirked deviously.

"When Newton pointed me out to you in the hall." I didn't ask, I knew. Edward confirmed this with a nod.

"I would've given you a good fight, though. But, eventually just like you…I too would have given in." Edward's palms remained resting upon the apple of my cheeks. His warmth continuing to send prickles of fire to course through my cheeks and down my neck. Eventually making its way to where I needed relief the most.

"But something tells me that you already knew this. That you knew all along that you'd have me; that I'd be yours. One way or the other, dead or alive. Tell me I'm wrong, Bella." He nearly demanded.

I laughed, amazed at his uncanny fucking perceptiveness. "That's not true," I lied pulling away from his spell like glare.

"It doesn't matter to me, Bella. Don't you see? None of this shit does," he said with confidence, flailing his hand around us. "What matters is what's right here," he held my open palm to his chest placing his own on my barren one. "I don't want to be a monster anymore. I don't want to be alone."

His heart felt confession sent a false sense of security to run through me, clenching viciously at my frozen heart. I was guarded, still finding his demeanor so hard to read, making it all the more difficult to truly believe if what he was saying held any truth. I knew that once I brought him home, with the help of my siblings, I would be able to gauge him better.

Weary, I pulled away unlocking and entering my car, Edward followed taking the passenger seat. I never looked at him as we drove in silence towards my house. I never even replied to the last words he had spoken to me until we reached our destination. I merely kept to myself. Hidden within my own mind. Drowning in his scent, _him_.

_What does he want from me? _

As we pulled up the long winding drive I looked towards Edward. His face was leant towards the window, his brow creased with an undecipherable emotion.

"You shouldn't be ashamed of what you are, Edward. You're not a monster." I broke the silence and he turned to gaze at me, "you're unique, an _enigma_. You have no idea of what some of those in my condition would do…to live a _semi_-normal life like you have."

I stopped the car, pulling the key from the ignition. All the while my eyes never leaving Edward's.

"Pssh. Unique, _normal_?" He clicked his tongue in disgust, "I'd rather you say I was _defective_, Bella. It's less ridiculing and makes more sense."

I gasped at the audacity he possessed, wanting to grab him and slap some _sense_ into his sorry ass. But I didn't. Instead I opted to exit the car before I could decapitate him in front of my family. I walked up the narrow path that led to the closed front door. As I made my way to pull the handle the door swung open. My irate sister Alice, erratically tapping her foot stood with arms crossed. She looked me over, and gasped once she reached my eyes.

"Bella, oh god, you didn't?" Her hand flew to cover her open mouth. "Why, Bella? You know I couldn't see you, how was I to help you? What will Carlisle say, where did you leave his-"

"Alice, stop." I said calmly, holding up my palms in surrender, while shaking my head as I walked by her. I stopped to wait for a hidden and out of sight Edward.

"Edward, you coming or what?" I called back to him and the look of shock on Alice's face grew exponentially as she watched Edward appear from nowhere to follow me into the house.

"Hey," he greeted sheepishly. Slowly making his way to where I stood waiting for him.

"But…y-y-your eyes. Oh, Bella…please say you didn't-"She stopped midsentence, unsure of how much Edward knew.

…_Please say you didn't kill a human. What will Carlisle think, what will we do? I don't want to leave-_

"Alice, _shut up_!" I screamed raking my fingers through my hair. I was beginning to take on Edward's characteristics. The thought made me laugh, just a little. "I didn't kill a human. I didn't even drink from one…_technically_." Edward rolled his eyes as Alice looked from me to him. "I drank from Edward, Alice." I said with finality continuing to make my way into the living room.

I could hear the hushed voices of my siblings from the distance as they listened in on the conversation Alice and I were having.

"But…he's still _alive_." She said perplexed. "Shouldn't he be like…_dead_ or something?"

"Yeah, wouldn't that be nice," Edward mumbled sardonically. His shoulders were held high as he walked though his body screamed defeat. This boy needed a therapist, not a vampire.

…_Esme is home, Bella. She's not going to be pleased…_Alice thought and I immediately hissed under my breath.

"Fuck her, Alice. I don't give a shit what she thinks."

Esme or Carlisle's wife as I referred to her as. Had already been seething over the fact that I had even helped Edward the day of the accident. Since then she had been nervously awaiting our expulsion from Forks. Fearing that the "_human boy_" had seen too much, he would surely "_talk"_. Once she seen Edward in her house -the _human boy_- she would throw a complete shit fit.

_Cue shit fit in three, two- _

"Just what do you think you're doing, bringing _him_ into our home? Have you lost your goddamn mind, Isabella?" Esme shrilled as she entered the room, her voice echoing off the walls causing Edward to stop mid-step.

"Come on, Edward," I said pulling him along to pass her. "Pay no attention to the bitch…_Oops_, I meant the witch in the corner," I sneered.

"Hey, Eddie!" Emmett bellowed from within the living room as we still stood in the center hall. I could see the relief flush over Edwards face as Emmett greeted him. "Come on in, me and Jazz are playing Call of Duty, we got the night vision goggles. Bro, they're fuck-awesome, you gotta come try this shit out." Emmett was like a child, his size a façade to the seven-year old within.

"Oh, _shit_. You do?" Edward replied childishly and I released his hand watching in awe as he walked inhumanly fast to where Emmett sat waiting.

Esme gasped.

"Thank you, Jasper," I called. Jasper's blond head turned to face me, his golden eyes peeking over the brim of the back of the couch.

…_Sorry, 'darlin. But, that had nothing to do with me… _

I turned on my heel, Alice and Esme in tow, as I made my way to the empty kitchen leaving Edward to bond with the boys.

Once inside the kitchen I turned on Esme, gripping her throat tightly and pushing her into the stainless steel refrigerator. The few contents within rattled loudly before coming to a stop.

"Don't you ever tell me who I can or cannot bring home. This is _my_ house just as much as it is yours. " I could feel Alice's hand grip my shoulder as she fought to pull me back. I nudged Alice back, squeezing Esme's trachea tighter. "I could kill you. Just one fucking pull, Esme, and I could rip your throat out. You are no one to tell me what to do. You forget I am older than you, _stronger_ than you."

"You're going to ruin it for all of us, just so you can have a _pet_? Well I will not allow it, and neither will Carlisle. You are so selfish, Bella." Esme hissed, pushing my chest.

"Edward is _not_ a pet."A growl rose from my chest and left my lips with force.

"What is he to you then, huh? Do you even know, Bella? Or, are you going to make the same mistake you made with _James_? Looks like you may already have." Esme leaned her head back against the cold steel and let out a maniacal laugh before looking at me once more, "Isabella, don't look so glum…loneliness suits you."

"Fuck you, Esme." I snarled and I dug my nails into Esme's throat once more, piercing the flesh.

"Girls, girls…now that's enough," the clacking of Rosalie's heels against the marble flooring in the distance as well as her calmly spoken warning did nothing to subdue my rage. "I said that's enough," Rosalie spat gripping my shoulder roughly before pulling me away from Esme.

"Now…is this any way to behave in front of _our_ guest?" She asked brushing down the skirt of her silken scarlet dress with her palms.

…_Who cares…_Esme thought before storming off and I followed her with indignant eyes.

Esme may have been Carlisle's wife but she was nowhere near playing the role of Matriarch. That was Rosalie's job. She was the heart and soul of our coven, the mother to our brood. When she spoke it demanded attention, an attention that I could never deny her.

With hands on her hips she looked down upon me, a tight smile pulling at her lips. I hung my head in shame, knowing that I had upset her.

"So, I see you brought dinner home. How very thoughtful of you."She chimed, rubbing circles on my back. I nearly fell to the floor with laugher. "Bella, baby. What's the deal?" She gripped my chin, lifting my face upward so that she could scrutinize the color my irises had turned.

…_Your eyes are red, Bella. Yet…he sits there…heart beating, and playing Call-Of-Fucking-Duty with my Emmett…_

"_I know_, it's…its un-fucking-believable! He's not like us Rose, well he sort of is-but he's not," I breathed, finally letting the shock of it all kick in.

"Hmmm…you can definitely say that." She eyed me speculatively. She and Alice stood side by side glancing at each other knowingly.

"_What_?" I asked, ripping away the remnants of black lacquer from my finger nails.

"You're falling for him," Rosalie replied despondently and I didn't know what to say, or how to respond coherently.

_Was I? No, I couldn't be. Not fucking possible._

I opened my mouth to speak but was interrupted by the scent of our conversation. Edward came walking into the large open kitchen, eyes wandering the space absorbing the minute details.

"Ah, speak of the devil," Rosalie said and I watched as her nostrils flared, taking in the wonderment that was Edward. "_Oh_, you are right. He _does_ smell good."

Edward chuckled lightly, dropping his head in chagrin as a petal pink blush immediately rose to the surface of his skin draping his chest up to his cheeks. In unison both sisters and I gasped audibly, becoming easily flustered in Edward's presence.

…_Oh, yes. Now I definitely see what the big deal is…Oh, yes indeed…_Rosalie thought as Edward and I met eyes. We became lost in our own bubble, our own little world as my sisters left us to be alone. Rosalie's parting thoughts an incessant warning, seemingly given much too late.

…_Don't fall too hard, Bella. Don't fall too hard…_

* * *

**Hmmm...how do you like them apples?**

**So...Esme is a bitch...Bella has some skeletons in her closet...and whats the deal with JAMES?**

**Any ideas? I'd love to know =)**

**Please be sure to stop by my beta-wifey's profile, queenxochitl. Link is on my profile. Give some love to Egyptward who I am now convinved is Stalkward in the epic story..."Tomb Robber"**


	7. Chapter 7: The Cullens

**I**** do NOT own Twilight, nor do I profit from writing this. All creative rights to the characters/lyrics, original plot and/or dialogue, belong to their original creator(s). However, this FanFic is ALL MINE. (Lilith617: March 2010)**

**This story can also be found at The Writers Coffee Shop and Twi-Hard. Same penname.**

**As always HUGE thank you to my beta ShamelesslyObsessed for always taking the time to make sure I look dolled up, you are the best!!!**

**THANK YOU and ass gropes to queenxochitl for pre-reading and giving me her "as a fan, and as a reader" thoughts. I wuv ya! And if you havent been reading her fic "Tomb Robber" you are missing out on a VERY FUCKHAWT Stalkward...link is on my profile.**

**HUGE THANK YOU TO EACH OF YOU THAT CONTINUE TO READ THIS, FAV THIS, AND ALERT THIS!!! yOU GUYS ARE AWESOME =)**

**Now _some _answers, and some angsty OwnYourAssward...**

* * *

"_Under your spell again  
I can't say no to you  
crave my heart and its bleeding in your hand  
I can't say no to you…_

_Shouldn't let you torture me so sweetly_  
_now I can't let go of this dream_  
_I can't breathe but I feel…_

_Good enough_  
_I feel good enough for you_

_Drink up sweet decadence_  
_I can't say no to you_  
_and I've completely lost myself and I don't mind_  
_I can't say no to you…_

_Shouldn't let you conquer me completely_  
_now I can't let go of this dream_  
_can't believe that I feel…_

_Good enough_  
_I feel good enough_  
_it's been such a long time coming, but I feel good…_

_and I'm still waiting for the rain to fall_  
_pour real life down on me_  
_cause I can't hold on to anything this good_  
_enough_  
_am I good enough_  
_for you… to love me too?_

_So take care what you ask of me_  
_'cause I can't say no"_

_**Good Enough: Evanescence **_

* * *

**7. The Cullens**

"So…just out of curiosity, who's _James_?"

Edward asked as soon as my sisters had cleared from the kitchen. He lowered his voice to allow for privacy though they would hear him regardless. I sensed the mild hint of frustration as he rocked slightly on his heels; eyes cast downward awaiting my reply.

My chest constricted as I _tried_ to form an intelligible answer, an answer that I was not prepared to give; while Edward's continuous languid movements before me did nothing but distract me immensely from the task at hand.

With my obvious silence came Edward's fury. His hands pulled through his already disheveled tendrils before fisting into his denim pockets. He made sure to avoid any and all eye contact with me as he glanced around the room while gritting his teeth.

I swallowed hard, trying to dissolve the lump of anxiety that had instantly taken residence in my esophagus as soon as Edward spoke _his_ name. I should have realized he would have heard Esme's mention of James, after all his senses were just as '_acute'_ as my own…

"_Oh-kay_. So I see this is a sore subject for you," he said to the surrounding silence; his words barely a murmur as he heatedly ground his teeth together before his lips set firmly into a hard line.

His tone and demeanor left me motionless; a pale statue, void of humanity: emotion. And though I wanted to speak, to spill my history before him spread like high-school text…I just couldn't. My self-preservation would not allow me. And so my words remained trapped in my throat, while my dead heart remained trapped in my past.

After a few seconds of an internal rallying cry, I countered his remark, finally able to wheeze _some_ semblance of words out of my mouth before being swiftly cut off. "Edward, look…It's just something I'm not ready to-"

"No, Bella. I completely understand. I mean, shit. What the hell was I thinking, right??" Sarcasm rolled off his tongue and I became further solidified where I stood as regret washed over me.

_I should have never brought him here… _

"What the fuck do you mean by _that_? You're getting upset for no fucking reason, Edward." I retorted, taking a step towards him. He could never just say what he needed to say. Everything had to be so fucking abstruse with him.

"Figures you wouldn't understand."

"Understand what exactly? Obviously you are misconstruing what you _think_ you heard. And on top of that there is absolutely no need for your fucking sarcasm…" I turned away, really not wanting to fight. I was almost certain that we had jumped fucking milestones after earlier today. Now I wasn't so sure.

I could hear the thoughts of my siblings as Edward visibly became furious, and a part of me feared that maybe I, alone, would not be enough to fix whatever damage had been done in Edward's past. I also feared that that thought in itself held more than one meaning…

…_He's extremely jealous…He needs your reassurance, Bella…_Jasper's thoughts, alone, broke through the rest of the melee. I stepped closer to Edward, this new knowledge fueling me to be closer to him, urging me to want to comfort him- _fix_ him.

"_Sarcasm_, Bella? Why don't you tell me what's really going on here." He whispered, pointing roughly to my chest than to his own, "I was under the impression that after today's events we were _more_ than just friends. Or is it a common practice for you to suck dick so willingly?"

I gasped aloud, Edward's words a slap in my face. The thoughts of my siblings suddenly ceased as they tuned their complete attention to the conversation in the kitchen. My stomach lurched and knotted knowing that Esme would be privy to mine and Edward's privacy. Just one more fucking reason as to why I _really_ should not have brought him here.

I became livid with that thought along with Edward's not-so-subtle way of basically asking me if I was some common fucking street whore.

"Edward, how dare you; just who the fuck do you think you are?" I demanded. "I can't believe you'd even say some stupid shit like that." My emotions were wreaking havoc on me as they flip flopped between anger and heart ache.

"You're a fucking fool."I said flatly, already turned on my heel to leave him to fend for himself in a house full of vampires.

"Then tell me who the fuck this James is," he insisted, and my face contorted to a grimace at the mere mention. "I do _not_ pine, nor do I compete for a woman's attention, Bella. You are either one-hundred-and-ten percent mine…or you're not. _All or nothing_, Bella, remember? So…what's it gonna be?"

"You know the answer already, Edward. You've _known_ the answer all along. You're just so absorbed with your self-deprecating bullshit that you haven't paid the slightest bit of fucking attention to-"

Edward placed his index finger over my lips, stopping me for what felt like the umpteenth fucking time today from speaking. I could now hear the bellowing laughter of my brother's -as I am sure they now knew what was taking place- as Edward, the fucking Halfling, gripped the hair at the back of my head with his fisted fingers before bringing my lips to his own very warm and very plush lips.

"Are you _mine_, or are you James's? I want to hear you say it…I _need_ to hear you say it."

_Reassurance…he just needs my reassurance._

His tongue trailed across my lower lip before the fucker intentionally brought my face to the crook of his neck: _still_ awaiting my answer. His scent was overwhelming, causing my body to shake with want, need…_desire_. He fucking knew what he was doing, controlling me this way. He had the upper hand…he always did.

Suddenly, I was inundated by severe hunger. "I am s-so…_thirsty_…" I moaned my body trembling with intense need. I attempted to lick my lips; but the feel of sand paper against them made me stop: my mouth suddenly unbelievably dry. I felt drugged. Not that I would know the actual feeling of being high; but I would imagine the euphoric yet painful sensations I was currently experiencing would be close.

I felt powerless, unable to act of my own accord. The only coherent thought that was able to properly form within my mind was the all consuming need to bite into the warm supple flesh of Edward's neck…and tell him that I was in fact _his_.

"Tell me who you belong to, Bella. Tell me…and you can drink _forever. _I'll never take this away from you…_I promise_. Just say it…" He whispered so lowly into my ear and I slithered my tongue out from its desert confines allowing it to just graze the softened salty meat below before telling Edward what I had been longing to say.

"I am _yours_, Edward. I've always been-"

…_Bella…Bella…BELLA…BELLLLAAAA…_

"Bella, _Wait_!" Alice was behind me, her hand gripped tightly against my shoulder. She pulled me from Edward's grasp and as she did my surroundings came back into focus with vengeance.

"What the fuck, Alice, what do you want?" I screamed, fuming as I tried to right myself. The room was spinning and my head had begun to ache tremendously.

Alice looked at me perplexed, "Bella, I have been _calling_ you for the past five minutes," her teeth were clenched as she spoke. "We really need to talk…_in private_."

I gripped my temples and hunched over slightly; willing the pain that had suddenly taken refuge in my skull to stop. "Alice, _please_. Now is not a good time," I pleaded as I rubbed soothing circles around my temples. Edward's palm rested on my back and as he began to calm me with his touch he bent down to whisper in my ear.

"Bella, are you okay?" Concern laced his words, and I felt a pang of guilt clench my chest. I should be taking care of him, not the other way around.

I could sense Alice's extreme discomfort as she stood before me, "This cannot wait, Bella."

I pulled myself straight, trying to avoid the slightly dulling ache in my temples. It felt like my body was fighting to regain control of itself as my yearning to dive into Edward's throat remained a constant simmer.

It was as if I was going through some strange process of detoxification…_what the fuck!?!_

I saw Edward from my periphery, a look of disquiet strongly ebbing its way over his innocent features as he watched me silently regain composure. Though, the second he saw that I had been aware of his visible display of emotion he shied away, turning his head the opposite direction.

…_He's controlling you, Bella. Don't you see? _She thought, and without realizing I answered her aloud, Edward still at my side.

"What the fuck are you talking about, Alice?" I didn't even bother to pay mind to Edward whose body had suddenly become rigid.

…_Bella…he doesn't know about your gift does he?_

"Uh…"

"What's going on?" he asked meekly, stepping away from Alice and I. He watched us warily as we held our silent conversation, his eyes slatted with suspicion.

Unable to answer I turned my attention towards Alice, ignoring him. I had become completely curious as to what was so fucking important that Alice just _had_ to interrupt Edward and I; _and_ give away my talent before I had a chance to fucking explain it to Edward myself.

…_I've been thinking, Bella, and I think Edward's father must be a very powerful vampire. _She thought quickly, racing for time, _it appears to me that Edward has inherited an ability to control certain behaviors. It's not like Jasper's…much different. He does this as well as shields himself from those around him…_

As Alice's thoughts sank in slowly, I allowed myself the brief silence to recall the times where I could have possibly fallen victim to Edward's _supposed_ gift.

_Fuck!_

The hallway at the Hospital, the student parking lot, the Auditorium. _Shit_…he even had me under his spell when he wasn't even present.

_Fuck_, there were just so many…Alice thankfully interrupting the most recent one.

_Is that why my head-_

"You stupid son of a _bitch_," I sneered rounding on him, viciously pushing him back into the dark mahogany cabinet's that lined the kitchen wall behind him. "You've been fucking with my head this whole time, haven't you?"

I could sense my siblings gathering behind me as I watched what little color resided in Edward's pallor skin drain further as he took in the room full of vampires in front of him.

"No, Bella. That's not true at all. _Please_…you have to believe me." His words came out weak and his hardened stance from earlier was now flaccid as he gave up before mine and my family's eyes. "I swear…it's not."

"Then what is it, Edward? You've been making me feel things that aren't real. You forced me to do things I would not have done otherwise… " My voice was small as my words left me breathless and faint. It had become glaringly obvious at that moment that I had allowed myself to get too involved with Edward and the false promise of security that came with it.

"It's not what you think, Bella. Whatever Alice _told_ you just now isn't true. Which might I add is a little fucking hypocritical, don't you think?" He hissed, arching his eyebrows at Alice and I. I knew that he was aware of my very own gift now, per say. "All that shit aside, Bella, the things you felt were your own. _I swear_…you are the only person I've ever lo- I didn't compel you, alright? You have to fucking believe me. Please…just say you believe me."His eyes were wide with panic as he stared at me frantically. I knew that Jasper was trying to calm Edward because I could feel some of the remnants of his doing just grazing me. But just like I couldn't read Edward's thoughts, Jasper couldn't manipulate his emotions.

"You're a fucking liar, Edward Masen," my sister Alice screeched from behind me. Her arms wrapped tightly around her chest childishly. "I've seen what you do to my sister, you're _draining_ her! I just watched you moments ago. Don't try to tell me-"

"Alice," Jasper stated calmly, placing his palm on her shoulder, stopping her from any further tirade. "It's not your place to get involved."

Looking away from my siblings, I solemnly gazed into Edward's jaded eyes. "Edward what if for one second I felt threatened? You've seen how easily distracted I can get. If you're screwing with me- fuck Edward I could have just _killed_ you. You have no fucking clue what we," I pointed to my siblings, "are capable of. You seem to think that you're unbreakable or some shit. Well you're not, Edward," my voice rose.

"You're not fucking invincible. We vampires…_you_…me,we_ can_ die."I yelled, as his pupils glazed over and dilated; the luminescent spark intensified within them as his emotions soared. I could clearly make out the minute wetness that was creeping over the white of his eye while he became filled with an undeniable gloom.

"I'm so sorry that you feel the way you do." He paused momentarily, looking at each of my siblings before continuing, "I'm sorry if any of you feel that way…but you're wrong."

His last few words were directed at Alice alone and before she could interject Edward spoke once more, "I need to go. I'll…I'll see myself home," he said softly before leaving the kitchen at a humanly pace, unlike earlier. As he made his way towards the door I could hear the laughter escape Esme's lips as she spoke to Edward's retreating form.

"_Awww_…leaving so soon, little _pet_?"

With her reference I went to leave the room, ready to put her sorry ass in place, but was stopped by Emmett's unrelenting grip.

"You need to calm down before you go after him," he said flatly. "Because that is exactly what you're going to do, Bella. You are going to calm down, ignore Esme, then go get Edward and make shit right."

"I need to take care of the bitch in the other room that shouldn't even be allowed in this fucking house after what she-"

"What, Bella? After what she did to James? I get it…your pissed." Pissed was an understatement and Emmett fucking knew it. I had been tormented with the repercussions her actions had left behind for the past fifty-eight years…my ever increasing solitude.

"I'd be fucking pissed too," he continued, "and hurt, if I had to go through what you went through…but you know what? You gotta let it go 'lil sis. It's time you moved on…it's _been_ time, and right now there are much bigger issues at hand here. Edward being the main one right now."

I stopped trying to push my way past an unwavering Emmett. Never expecting him to say the words he had. Looking into the warmth of his honeyed eyes; I could feel the familiar tightness encase my chest, but for once the ache that never seemed to cease wasn't for the person I had expected it to be for.

It was for Edward…the past few weeks…it had _only _been for Edward.

"Emmett's right, Bella," Rosalie's voice tinkled, "By letting her affect you, you let her win. _Again_. Listen, Carlisle will be home soon and we can try _then_ to figure out what it is exactly that Edward has been gifted with. But 'til that time you need to go fix things."

"Have you all gone mad?" Alice suddenly shrilled, circling the room like a ravenous vulture. "You're allowing Edward to fool you _all_! He is manipulating Bella into wanting him by giving her what she craves."

_I crave him…all of him…_

"Alice, darling, I can assure you that Edward is _not_ manipulating, Bella. She is and has been a _very_ willing participant." I nodded my head slowly as I absorbed his words fully.

_I was willing…I _am_ willing_. Jasper was right.

"I can't control his emotions but I can still feel them," Jasper continued locking his eyes on my own before gazing back down upon Alice, "…he is definitely not doing what you say, and the way he feels for Bella is…unexpectedly just as strong as my own emotions for you." He towered above Alice's small frame, reaching his palm up to stroke her cheek with his knuckles. Immediately she melted from his touch, her stand against Edward long forgotten.

I thought about what Jasper had just said. Edward cared for me…that much was obvious. But he was so afraid to let me in…or was it I that was so afraid?

How many times had he asked me to be his…?

_I've been such a fucking fool._

"I think you're calm enough now, Bella," Jasper confirmed. "Go to him."

And without a second thought I did.

As soon as my feet hit the gravel I took off running. Following the faint scent that Edward had left behind. I ran and ran until his scent became thick in the air that hung around me. I took in my surroundings, though it was dusk and the canopy of trees above denied what little light was left to enter, I noticed the familiar setting without question. It had only been a mere few hours prior that Edward and I had kissed one another here, touched one another here, _drank_ from one another…

In the short distance I could hear the beautiful thrum that was Edward's heart beat, instinctively I walked towards it. A magnet drawn to metal, unable to deny the pull that willingly led me to him.

_Always_ to him.

"Bella, please. Just…leave me alone." He sounded so..._emotionless_ as he sat on the wet earth, back against the same boulder from earlier. His knees were drawn up to his chest, arms hugging them emphatically, head lowered…

"I'm not going anywhere. You wanted to know who James is…and I'm here to tell you." I had finally resigned myself to clear the air with Edward. If we were to ever move forward in our relationship, or whatever it was, then it needed to start with honesty.

"James…he was…he was my…_human_ mate…a very, _very_ long time ago." Edward didn't speak so I continued. "There was an accident…I _had_ to turn him, I had no choice." My voice shook and I had to look away, trying in vain not to relive the memories or the pain that came with them. Familiar pricks stabbed at my eyelids as I fought to keep the tearless sob from escaping. James' rubescent blood on my hands, my clothes, my _tongue_…the memory too much to swallow.

Abruptly, Edward rose from his sitting position walking the final steps to where I stood, closing the distance between us.

"Where is he now?" He snapped, suddenly inquisitive. "Why aren't you with him?"

I bit my lower lip, feeling the marbled flesh tear within my grasp. "He left me…"

Immediately the vile hatred I held for Esme burst forth and I had to walk away to calm myself. I knew I would have to eventually tell Edward the whole story…I just didn't have the strength to do it now.

Edward appeared to be staying a safe distance away, allowing me much needed space at the moment. Once I regained control I returned to him; his head shaking in contempt.

"Do you _love_ him?" His voice rose as he drew near to where I stood. In the dark his eyes appeared like a lion's; ferocious, and feral, hovering over its prey.

"I don't know…I-I think I did." Compared to how I was feeling towards Edward, my feelings for James were miniscule in comparison.

I was becoming increasingly uncomfortable with the topic at hand, though I stood my ground firmly willing to take whatever shit he intended on dishing out on any _other_ topic of conversation.

"Can you stop looking at me like I am something to be eaten?" I asked, almost playfully as he continued to leer down upon me. His dominance was rousing, and for once I wanted nothing more than to lose all control while in his care.

_So fucking what if I felt as high as a kite around, Edward. He was _my_ addiction to battle…mine alone. _

He chuckled lightly before sighing heavily. "Well…of course I'd look at you like you're meant to be eaten, _Be-lla_." He enunciated the last word with much emphasis before licking his lips, "I am the world's best predator, aren't I?"

The animalistic look in his eyes was my undoing. I wanted nothing more than to straddle the concrete phallus hidden beneath the denim of his pants while sinking my teeth into his milk-white neck.

"You really should listen to your sister…I'm no good for you, Bella. No good _to_ you…"

His change in temperament broke my musing and I bit my lip in agitation. "Am I not a predator, just like you, Edward?" I asked rhetorically. "So what!? Nothing that Alice said changes how I feel, none of it." I reasoned and he jostled me by slamming his fist into a nearby tree trunk, snapping it into two separate pieces. For a second I saw what appeared to be surprise flit across his features before he continued his rant.

"Doesn't change how you feel? Well it fucking should, Bella. It should fucking change everything. I'm an _incubus. _Apparently, a good one at that according to your sister, Alice." He began pacing, his fingers tearing at the sweat and mist laden disarray upon his head. I wanted so badly to run my fingers through his hair, pull those same strands as I led his trembling lips to my mouth.

Instead, I listened as Edward unleashed the wrath of a thousand hells upon the forest …and me of course. His anger, and his new found strength lit a fire within me and I let it boil out of control as I watched him snap a few more helpless saplings and Fern's in his wake; all the while containing my laughter and my sudden desire to rip every stitch of clothing from his body.

"What the hell do you think I am, Edward, or Alice for that matter? We are merely your female counterpart. Please, don't let Alice get to you…I don't," I snickered. "Besides, I'm the one that had a moment of doubt," I reached out impatiently towards him and he refused to stop his pacing. "I should have never reacted that way- _Fuck_, Edward can you just stop moving and listen! You're like a kid with fucking ADD in need of some high dose Ritalin. _Ugh_!"

Finally, with my risen voice he came to a halt. Bending down so that his face hovered above my own. "Since the first day you saw me…you only wanted one thing. You'll never be able to see me for who I really am."

"That's the biggest load of bullshit I've ever heard," I snipped.

"Bella…everything about me invites you in. _Everything_. My voice, my face…let's not forget, my _smell_. As if I really need any of that shit!" He leapt up onto the branch of a nearby tree before bounding off of it to circle the small space surrounding us, only to appear on that same branch less than half a second later. I had never before seen him so completely freed of his carefully cultivated façade. He'd never been less human…or more beautiful.

_And to say I wasn't turned on just by his strength, and his speed, _alone_…would be a fucking lie._

Quickly I knew I needed to put a stop to his brooding. "Huh. So, Edward…do you think you can outrun _me_?" I asked teasingly trying to break up the tension that hung like a black cloud above our heads. Edward leapt off the branch stopping two feet away from me, remaining as still as a statue, face ashen with narrowed eyes.

"Am I amusing you, Bella?" His tone was hauntingly forceful causing me to take one step towards him.

"Not amused. _Aroused_." The look on Edward's face was priceless as he registered my words. His body went through a melee of emotions before finally settling on one.

_Carnal_.

Before I knew it his hand was where I longed for it to always be, gripping the hair at the nape of my neck. His lips were above mine. His hot breath leaving his parted lips in heavy pants as he fought to regain normal breathing. Each breath coated my icy skin with pebbles of fiery delight.

"If I…attacked you…could you… fight me…off?" He huffed, blowing spurts of hot air into my open mouth.

I swallowed hard, the venom sliding down my burning throat like melted ice before tracing the underside of his sweat coated upper lip with the tip of my tongue.

"I wouldn't even try…"

Hand in hand, in contented silence, I led Edward to the line of trees that surrounded his home; our earlier passionate kissing a prequel to what would eventually follow. I couldn't deny that I was falling hard for Edward. He elicited emotions in me that I thought would lie dormant for all my existence.

_Nevertheless…I was falling in love with Edward Masen, _hard_._

Falling helplessly for his constant mood changes, his vague responses, the way he ran his fingers through his hair, and licked his lips… And a part of me was almost certain that he was falling for me too.

With that in mind, reluctantly he didn't interfere, though he tried, as he left me- releasing his long slender fingers from my grip. The electric tether between us held him in place for mere seconds more, till unwillingly he broke free. Leaving me, a dark shadow, hidden amongst the heavy shrubbery. He walked backward as he watched me amorously, adjusting his prominent arousal, his eyes never straying. The look of pure, raw, unadulterated need dispersed upon his face.

"You're killing me," he whispered from the distance, his hand cupping his crotch.

I giggled. "_Never_."

Just moments before with our mouths connected in a sensually slow kiss; he had spoken the words that would ring in my ears till we met again- which I prayed would be sooner than later.

"I _need_ you, Bella. God, you have no idea how much I need you. _Please_…stay with me," he pleaded as he held me tightly, one arm around my waist the other pressed firmly between my shoulder blades: our bodies lined together, melded into one.

It was so hard to say no to him, so hard to say goodbye. "Edward," I sighed. "I need to settle things at home, speak with Carlisle."

"Fuck, Bella. No you don't. Just…just don't go." He gripped his hair as fear crossed his features.

_He was afraid I wouldn't return._

"Please, don't do this to me, Edward. It's hard enough," I whined.

"I can make you…I-If I want." He stuttered, his eyebrows rising sinisterly.

"But you won't...and you never have."I insisted.

He breathed heavily in resignation before lowering his lips to mine. His eyes pierced me with their beauty, their fire. I parted my lips allowing the tip of his tongue to enter when he swiped it languorously over my lower lip. As soon as our tongue's collided, are bodies followed suit.

Edward's hand gripped my hips as he squatted slightly, lowering himself so that he could ground his hard shaft into me. My hands cupped his neck, pulling him closer to me as his arousal twitched against my pubic bone causing me to release a throaty growl only to have it caught by his awaiting mouth.

"Come back to me, Bella…tonight," he breathed, hesitantly pulling away. My hands were fisted in his shirt, unwilling to release him- _ever_. He hadn't asked, he _never_ had to and he knew that. I didn't hesitate in my answer as I suckled his lower lip one last time into my mouth.

"I will _always_ come back to you, Edward…_always_," I had said softly. And I would. My vow sacred just like the heart that beat rampant in his chest.

Remembering that promise, I ran at a brisk pace back towards my home, wanting to get my conversation with Carlisle out of the way so that I could return to Edward. My mind was all over the place though one thought stood out the most. I couldn't help but wonder as to whether Chief Masen would be home or not once I returned to the small house that Edward would be patiently waiting in- for _me_. My body was on fire with the idea of Edward and I, alone, in his bed. Immediately my panties drenched further, already saturated from Edward's earlier touch.

_I would definitely have to change…_

There was no doubt that I wanted Edward, physically, but I wanted so much more. And I could only hope that he wanted more as well.

I knew that Edward and I still had so much to discuss, Chief Masen's true identity being high on the list. Though, I continued my internal questioning about the exciting and unknown _what-ifs_ that could occur later in the night instead; 'til I was interrupted by the incessant vibration of my cell phone tucked snugly within my pocket. I pulled it out, Alice's name flashed repeatedly upon the small square screen.

I slowed my pace, flipping the heinous device open.

"_What_?" I was still aggravated with the bullshit stunt she had pulled earlier.

"Bella…I saw him…_James_…he's coming to Forks." Her words left her in a gush of air and I froze instantly, only for a second, repeating the words in my head as the silence lingered through the phone.

Robotically, I shoved the still open device back into my pocket as I took off…heading for my home…heading for imminent disaster.

Edward, without a doubt, a soon-to-be casualty.

* * *

**UGH! Always drama.....**

**So any takers on Esme's involvement with James???? I'd love to hear your thoughts =)**

**Also...I was thinking...if you could have an EPOV outtake what would you want to see???**


	8. Chapter 8: Recollection

**As always HUGE thank you to ShamelesslyObsessed and queenxochitl for all their support and help with this story. Boobie gropes for both of you ;)**

**BIG BIG THANK YOU to each and every one of you that have fav/alerted this...THANK YOU!!!**

**Now...some more answers...**

* * *

"_Like a flash of light in an endless night  
Life is trapped between two black entities  
'Cause when you trust someone, illusion has begun  
No way to prepare, impending despair_

_Did one say so cruel: "'Tis better to love than lose"_  
_Ignorance is bliss- wish not knew your kiss_  
_So many times been burned, this lesson goes unlearned_  
_Remember desire only fuels the fire–_

_Liar…_

_Betwixt birth and death, every breath regret_  
_I pity the living, envy for the dead_  
_Emotionally stunned, in defense, I'm numb_  
_I'd rather not care than to be aware- be scared_

_I don't need love…_

_Are a thousand tears worth a single smile?_  
_When you give an inch, will they take a mile?_  
_Longing for the past but dreading the future_  
_If not being used, well then you're a user and a loser_

_World renowned failure at both death and life_  
_Given nothingness, purgatory blight_  
_To run and hide, a cowardly procedure_  
_Options exhausted, except for anesthesia,_

_Anesthesia… _

_I don't feel anything…"_

_**Anesthesia: Type O Negative**_

* * *

**8. Recollection**

_**New Haven, Connecticut  
October 31, 1952**_

"_Happy Birthday James!" Alice exclaimed loudly as James went to exit my car. She was practically bouncing on the pavement below her; James' birthday a big event in the Cullen household as of late. She had driven herself to school today, allowing me some much needed privacy with James this morning of his birth. _

"_Thank you, Alice," he smiled warmly as he exited the passenger side of the car. I had remained perched upon the cream-colored leather driver's seat of my 1950 Chevy, Styleline DeLuxe Convertible. Though I had driven; James always the gentleman, would not allow me to exit the vehicle till he came to open my door. _

"_Isabella," he nodded curtly, taking my small hand into his heated palm. I could feel the pulsation of his blood radiating from his wrist as it pressed against my own._

"_Here," Alice said, shoving a medium sized box wrapped in brown parchment paper into his hand. "This is from Jasper and I. He apologizes for not being here…he sends his regards, of course."_

_Jasper was taking a reprieve from New Haven's abundant _human_ population with our family in Denali, Alaska. I had noticed that the past year with James being around had been tolling; though he never complained- so this break was definitely well deserved in my eyes. _

"_What's this for?" James asked shaking the box so that the contents rattled within, "this really isn't necessary, Alice…really."I went to speak but Alice intercepted before I could_.

…Shh…Bella, do not ruin the surprise…_Alice thought and I giggled lightly. _

_I stood by as Alice nudged James to peel the paper, showing him where to begin. "Nonsense, James. It is your birthday, that's what this is for, but also because you are only a senior once and I believe it to be imperative that you document the experience…"_

"_Document?" He queried at her choice of words. "Wait, how many times have _you_ been a senior?" He laughed jokingly; Alice appeared lost in thought, as if she were counting. I sighed heavily before answering for her, "that's different, James. Now hurry up or we will be late to class." _

_Without any further hesitation or distraction James tore the final paper away, revealing a white cardboard box beneath. He lifted the lid excitedly, his mouth spreading into a wondrous grin as his fingers pulled the object that lay hidden from its dark prison. _

"_A camera!" He beamed at Alice and she hopped in place from his evident pleasure. "Thank you _so_ much! Oh my goodness, how did you know?" James asked in awe of the gawky device- a Leica IIf Black Dial -as he played with it in his hands, twisting it every which way._

"_A little birdie told me that you may have wanted one," she replied smugly. _

"_Isabella…I-I…" He faced me stammering before placing a kiss on the apple of my cheek; the momentary intimacy made my insides knot in delight. _

"_There is already film in it," I motioned towards the silver and black contraction. "It's not too overcast today, James. You may be able to take some photos without the use of the flash bulb."_

"_Oh, me! Do me first," Alice squealed, clapping her hands wildly like a toddler; her ostentatious, high-waisted, emerald empire dress swaying in the autumn breeze. "How's my hair, Bella?" She asked as she ran her fingers through her wavy, swirled, short black hair. _

"_Beautiful, you look beautiful." I appeased her, as she leaned up against the trunk of my car, posing as though she were about to sell it. _

"_Be sure to take two now, James. I need to send one to my Jasper." She smiled again as James took the last shot. _

"_Okay, Isabella. Your turn. Would you like to use the car as well as a prop?" He eyed me mischievously, and I hung my head in embarrassment. _

"_I would like to take a picture with you, if that is all right?"I replied, sheepishly._

_James came to my side, placing his arm chastely around my waist. "Will you appear in the photo when I print it?"_

_I gasped. "You are absolutely shameless, James. I don't recall you asking Alice that question."_

"_That's because Alice is really a pixie. I am already anticipating the white orb to appear in the photo in her place," he snickered. _

"_Not funny, James…_not_ funny," Alice said as she took the camera from his hand. James pulled me softly into his grasp, releasing the soft pink sash that held my ponytail high on my head. _

"_You look angelic with your hair free, Isabella. Leave it down for me?" He asked in a whisper before running his fingers through my hair, "Mmmm…"_

_I sighed contently at his motion, as I snuggled into his warm side. James placed his arm over and around my shoulder, holding me tightly against him. I gazed up at the wonder that was my James, so perfect, so innocent. His piercing, yet pale blue eyes squinted in the near sunlight as he looked down upon me. I reached upward, placing my fingers through the dirty blonde tendrils that fell just at his shoulders, twirling a lock within my fingers._

_Heaven…_

_We were oblivious to the fact that Alice had taken our picture till she handed James back the camera, and began walking towards the school's entrance. "Alice, wait!" James yelled, running up to Alice's side. "Thank you…for everything. Please tell Jasper the same." He leant down and placed a soft kiss upon her cheek. If Alice could have blushed, she would have. _

_After a few moments I felt the heat of James' palm against mine, his thumb rubbing soothing circles over the back of my hand, calming me the way only he knew how. _

"_You know James," I said, "everyone is supposed to be nice to you today, let you have your way."_

"_They should. Considering I am an old man now," he replied teasingly, tapping my nose with his index finger as he did._

Goodness, what must he think of me?

…I'm older than you…_he taunted with his thoughts and I tapped him lightly on the arm_.

"_Technically, yes. And can you speak aloud to me, please? I love watching your lips move when you speak," I added. James nodded before one last thought. _

…I love you, Isabella…

"_As I love you, James."_

_We made our way silently, hand in hand, to class; James walking me to the door - a common gesture._

"_What time should I be at your house for _my_ party tonight?" He asked lightheartedly._

_I giggled aloud. "Well Rosalie thought seven would be good. Would you like me to pick you up, say around six-thirty?"_

_James did not have a car and he refused to purchase one. He preferred walking; seeing and observing his surroundings as opposed to flying by them with disregard. I understood but worried about his near nomadic lifestyle. James purposely allowed himself to get lost on many of his impromptu excursions, just so that he could find his way back home. He had extremely perceptive tracking skills in that aspect, able to discern the scents of the land he had passed through or visited. I always thought to myself that James would make for a great vampiric tracker, but that would never occur: James would never allow that, and neither would I. _

"_That sounds great, Isabella. I think my parents will think so as well. I am sure my mother would like some quality time with me before I come to your house." He smiled before placing a demure kiss upon my cheek. _

"_Of course," I said, taking in the man before me as he departed._

"_Till we meet again, dear Isabella?" He asked from the short distance, and I nodded emphatically, already missing him dearly._

_The school day went by with ease. Most students were thoughtful of their attire for the evenings Halloween Festivities. My thoughts were on one man and one man only - James. I longed to see him throughout the day. Sadly, we were not blessed to have had any classes together so our chance meetings were brief and quaint during the change of class subjects. _

_Once the day had ended, I inhaled a heavy breath of relief. The crisp New England air assaulted my senses with the aromas of browning maple leaves and cool clean air. I loved autumn, James' birthday one of the reasons._

_When I reached my vehicle James was already awaiting my arrival. He held the driver side door open for me and I took his invitation, smoothing down the back of my pop-coat over my skirt as I slid onto the welcoming leather. _

"_Did I tell you how lovely you look today, Isabella?"James asked, bringing my knuckles to his lips._

"_I think you may have," I smiled coyly._

"_Well let me inform you once more," he kissed my knuckles, "you are absolutely stunning." He kissed them again, "a goddess in every sense of the word."_

"_Thank you," I whispered batting my eyelashes. _

_The drive to James's house was short and I reluctantly left him so that I could return home and finish setting up for his party later. Once I pulled into the long winding drive that would lead me to the old Victorian that I and my family lived in, I could hear the yelling. _

_Esme's voice shrilled as she spat expletives towards a submissive Carlisle. As always, her demeanor had to do with James and her irrational fear of his humanity._

_I parked my car, cutting the ignition, and sat listening to the vile words she spat._

"_This is unfair, Carlisle. I am your wife, and you are choosing Bella's pet over my feelings!" Esme yelled incredulously._

"_I am not choosing, _James_, over your emotions, love," he retorted making sure to correct Esme's reference. "He is Bella's mate and part of this family; you must learn to accept that."Carlisle's tone appeared composed though I could hear the frustration hidden beneath the thinning calm._

"_Accept that? You can't be serious, Carlisle. He is HUMAN. He knows our secrets, he knows US. Besides, vampires cannot love a human being…Bella will eventually hurt him and that's all it will take; one wrong move, one slip up, Carlisle, " she hissed and I shrunk into my seat, a retching sob escaping me."They are mere _pets_. James is her _pet_, nothing more." There was a brief silence as if she were preparing her words carefully before she spoke again. "I have decided…I no longer want Bella's _pet_ in my home…and that my dear Carlisle is final."_

_I don't think I had ever wished for someone's presence other than James, but at this traitorous moment I was wishing for Jasper and his soothing calm. _

_The echoing silence that lingered gave my flesh goose bumps; I knew Carlisle was fuming, ready to boil over at any moment. _

"_This is _my_ home, Esme, and I will decide who is or is _not_ welcome," she gasped at his show of superiority. "If you find that hard to accept then you are more than welcome to take your leave, Esme."I could hear his sharp intake of breath before he continued, "I love you, dearly. And, yes, you are my wife. But heed my warning, Esme; think before you ever place me in a situation where I must choose between Bella - or any of my children for that matter - and you…because you will not like the choice I will make." _

_I was stunned into stillness as Esme's trailing footsteps indicated she had left the parlor in which she and Carlisle had been bickering. If not for Alice's voice I probably would have remained frozen in my seat._

"_Bella…I'm sorry," she said sadly, taking the passenger seat next to me._

"_Please, there is no need for your apology. I just don't understand why she has to be so sharp. James has been nothing but respectful since he first was introduced. And yet…she still refers to him as pet, refusing to address him properly. I just don't know any more, Alice. Maybe we should cancel tonight's party. There is already too much tension." My words trailed off, my pride sorely beaten._

"_Absolutely not, Bella. Everything will go on as if this did not happen," she tapped her temple, knowingly. "I promise."_

_Knowing that Alice's visions had a tendency to be vague, I still agreed. _

This is for James, not Esme._ I thought as I drug myself from my car so that I could set up the decorations with Alice. As it neared evening my trepidation towards the evening increased tenfold. By the time I was sitting in James's driveway, I was a nervous wreck. My lip raw and chaffing from the assault my teeth had been putting on it. _

"_Good evening, Isabella," James greeted, as he entered the car. "For a second there I thought that maybe you were going to stand me up," he remarked playfully; when I didn't return the gesture he turned to me concerned. _

"_Isabella, what's wrong?" He asked pulling my hand within his two, "I can clearly see that you are bothered, please speak to me."_

_I couldn't bring myself to tell James of Carlisle and Esme's earlier exchange, so I quickly improvised. "I was thinking, what if I bought you a car for your birthday?"_

"_Isabella," he sighed exasperated, "absolutely not."_

"_But…James you cannot possibly walk everywhere."_

"_I am well aware of that, Isabella," he laughed. "There is no need for you to acquire me a gift because I already have everything I could possibly want," his eyes squinted from his wide grin._

"_And what is that do tell?"_

"_You my dear, Isabella. I have you…and that is all I need - ever."_

"_You certainly have a way with words, James." I could feel the heat course through my body as he held my hand with intense passion, intense love._

"_Well, yes I have been told that before," he smirked as I laughed. In that moment I had wanted so much to place my lips above his but knew better of it. My self control could not be pushed or tested. James thankfully understood this and agreed with my self-induced abstinence. Though, there were many nights where we parted clouded in a heady haze of lust, and as much as I liked to believe tonight would be one of them, something told me it was not. _

_As we entered the darkened drive to my home, the feeling of morose washed over me. Suddenly, I wanted nothing more than to cancel tonight's plans and leave to never come back. I knew I shouldn't doubt my sister Alice's word…but something didn't sit right. _

"_Hey, are you sure that you're alright?" he asked as I parked the car; his hand rising to push loose curls behind my ear, before allowing his knuckles to graze my cheek tenderly._

"_Yes," I breathed, deeply, "it's just been so long since we celebrated a real birthday. Emmett's was the last one and that was in 1935…we're all just a little excited, that's all," I lied._

"_Oh yeah, is that so? Even…Esme's excited?" He asked, eyebrows arched, smirking._

"_Well…maybe not _everyone_. But not to worry, she will be on her best behavior," I said sourly._

She better be_…I thought keeping my fingers crossed._

_As we entered the brightly lit foyer the thoughts of everyone sang excitement as they greeted James with welcoming hugs. Esme, the only family member to keep her distance, scowled at James' innocent form from the distance._

"_Happy birthday, James. I am so glad you decided to share your birthday with us," Rosalie exalted grabbing James' palm into her own, pulling him into the sitting room where she , I, and Alice had set up earlier. James sighed as he entered the room; I was well aware of his feelings towards attention and this went beyond what he would normally allow. _

_The room was swathed in turquoise candles and crystal bowls filled with floating Montauk daisy crowns. Alice and I had also displayed some of our pumpkin carving skills by setting up six large, and ornately sculpted pumpkins along the hearth of the fireplace, each one housing lit tea candles. _

_I wrapped my arm around his waist as we moved forward, Rosalie bringing us directly in front of a large table which had been set up with gifts. Alongside James' gifts sat a stack of glass plate ware and a three tiered cake, also turquoise. There was no doubt that he would return home bearing gifts as well as confections of sugar for his parents to enjoy with him._

_Peering upward I breathed in his heady scent: woodsy and clove. His smile was wide as his eyes became alight with happiness as he drank in the scene before him. "You all have done so much, you really shouldn't have."_

"_Of course we should have, son," Carlisle said, placing his palm upon James's shoulder, leaning in to whisper in his ear, "'though we did have a hard time reining Alice in after a while. You should have seen the original décor she had planned for tonight." _

_Everyone laughed at Carlisle's playful mocking of Alice and her exuberant personality; everyone except Esme. I noticed her hard glare as she stood against the post at the foot of the stairs; her eyes directly on James - following his every move. If I hadn't known better I would have thought for sure that she was conjuring up some form of retaliation as she stood there arms crossed indignantly__._

_Although I didn't want to, I tried to channel into her thoughts but was met with a conglomerate of offensive words; each one strung together and silently being thrown toward the two men beside me: Carlisle, and James._

"_Okay, I cannot wait any longer. Its time you open your presents, James," Alice declared, putting her arm beneath his elbow, towing him to the area on the table that housed his gifts. _

"_Wait, aren't we supposed to have cake first? Isn't that the rule?"James asked retreating. Alice stared at him perplexed, confusion written all over her pallor features as she feigned ignorance._

"_Well…that's a first. Shouldn't you _want_ to open your presents first, James? What kind of human wants to hold off on the best part?" She asked in disbelief, looking around the room with an open mouth and shocked expression. James went to speak but before he could reply her palm had cut him off. "Forget it; rules are made to be broken. Now…open this once first," she bossed, shoving a package in his face, it too was wrapped in the same parchment paper as the present from earlier._

"_It's from Rosie, and I," Emmett confirmed, speaking up for the first time that evening._

"_Thank you, both, really," James smiled, as he slowly stuck his finger under the edge of the paper, jerking it under the sticky adhesive._

"_Damn," he muttered, before pulling the apparent paper sliced finger from beneath the wrapping, inspecting the damage as a bead of darkened crimson collected upon its tip. _

_I heard the term 'pet' and a feral snarl, before I saw the flashing movement. Esme had lunged by me so fast that even with my keen eyesight I had missed her. It wasn't until reality had hit me that Esme was in fact no longer at her post, but instead she was attached to the neck of my mate, my James. _

"_NO!" I screamed, throwing myself at Esme's back, my family and I feverishly trying to force her to relinquish the hold her teeth now had around James's collar - but it was too late._

_James' penetrating cry echoed throughout the room like a siren as my family finally pulled him free of Esme's grip. Emmett and Rosalie pulled her away, dragging her by her arms as they escorted her to another room. I glanced at her quickly, her mouth and face covered in thick scarlet. She eyed me arrogantly before pulling her hand free of Rosalie's grip, only to wipe the blood away from her mouth with the back of it. _

…Awww…poor little pet…_she thought, cackling aloud as her body was dragged._

_I returned my focus to a still, fiercely shrieking, James. His carotid artery had been severed and was briskly pulsing out fountains of red. Carlisle had managed to squeeze two fingers into the wound, acting as a tourniquet, but it wasn't enough. James' ashen tone and shallow breathing were only increasing. He was dying. Esme had killed my mate, my James._

_I scurried to where his head lie flat against the plush cream carpet below; it's fibers saturated with the thick liquid that was draining much more rapidly by the moment. I took his head into my hands, cradling it within my lap - watching his eyes flutter repeatedly as his life exhausted. _

"_Carlisle," I moaned, his and James's thoughts a convoluted mess, not any one thing specific to helping the situation at hand, "what do I do?" I begged. I couldn't lose him, I couldn't let him go._

_I pressed my hand as hard as I could above Carlisle's, trying with every last bit of strength I could to apply enough pressure to halt or at least slow the bleeding without crushing his trachea._

"_Bella," Carlisle's voice trembled with guilt, "he's losing too much blood-"_

"_AAAAAH! It burns…oh god, Isabella. PLEASE, make it stop," James screamed, and I sobbed in agony._

"_Esme's venom is beginning to circulate," Carlisle said, looking behind him flustered before finishing his sentence in thought_

…Why Esme, why?

"_Shh, baby. It will be alright," I was trying to placate him, soothe him. His blood was everywhere now; my bare legs covered completely with its sticky sheen as well as my hands. I wanted to scream from the sight. His blood I had never craved; even now I wanted nothing to do with it. I just wanted it back where it belonged, circulating through his system, feeding him life._

"_I don't have the proper tools here, Bella," Carlisle blurted in panic, "you must make a decision, and it must be fast."_

'_I-I can't, Carlisle. I just-" _

"_Bella, either he dies, or you finish the process and give him life…choose Bella, you must!"Carlisle screamed as James' heart beat took on a slow cadence._

"_He never wanted _this_ life, our life…he was happy to stay mortal, he wanted to grow old with me," I said saddened. "…but I can't allow him to die…not like this." I was conflicted; though regardless, I knew what I needed to do, and it needed to be done two minutes ago. _

_With the nod of my head I released my bloody palm from James's neck, Carlisle followed, removing his fingers from around the badly severed blood vessel. James' blood was no longer pulsating out of his wound in frenzy, but had taken on an almost lethargic pace, while his thoughts clouded in silence. _

He's almost gone…

_I ran my fingers through his now blood coated hair, his eyes had already closed moments before. I kissed him gently upon his blue tinged lips and brought my mouth to where his open gash awaited me. _

_Hesitantly, I hovered, breathing in his scent, absorbing it into my memory, before placing my lips over the site- sucking with fervor. _

_I knew now that here lie the moment of truth. I could either siphon Esme's venom from his body, allowing him to pass on- something he would have preferred. Or, I could drink more of his blood, replacing it with my _own_ venom and finish what Esme had already set in motion- changing James's life for all eternity. _

_With a heavy sigh I chose the latter, pushing my venom through his already weakened structure, giving him eternal life, eternal freedom - and _my_ eternal love. _

_For three days I never left James's side. I watched in horror as the fire that had consumed me during my own transformation licked at his insides with fury. His body writhed in agony, his back arching high off the softened bed he had been placed on. _

_I had tried to hold his hands many times throughout his suffering, only to have him rip his hand from mine before clenching and tearing the cotton fabric of the sheets below him. His curled fingers were white knuckled deep into the mattress for hours at a time. And as his strength grew those same fingers tore away chunks of its filling, leaving large gouges in their wake. I knew I had made a horrible mistake, a mistake that would forever go unforgiven._

"_I've never seen someone suffer so much through the transformation," Carlisle had said softly, on the third and final day, his hand placed reverently upon my shoulder. "Emmett's was ethereal compared to this…" _

"_He's fighting the change, trying to will it away…this was never what he would have wanted," I sighed regrettably._

"_We should prepare…I think he should be waking soon. I can hear his heart nearing its finale," Carlisle said. "Look at him already, his body has changed significantly."_

_I didn't want to look. I had already seen the changes the transformation had done earlier in the day. His once sun-kissed skin had taken on a pallid hue; his hair thickened and flowed beneath his heavy head. Even his lips appeared plumper. He was someone different…he was no longer my James. _

_With the rapid succession of his heart, I stayed crouched on my haunches within the comfort of the darkened corner. Subtle movement appeared first - the twitch of his finger, the rustle of sheet above his taut thigh. He would be breathtaking, a vision…_

"_Isabella," he rasped from the bed, and I jumped to his side immediately. I had not expected what awaited me when I looked down upon James; an endearing smile playing at my lips, while only to find him snarling at me in return. _

"_Why? Why did you do this to me?"He snapped up from his lying position fluidly, only to become panicked with his new senses. He jumped off the bed, immediately crouching into an instinctive defensive stance._

"_You lied to me, Isabella!" he screamed, his bright red irises wild with fury. "You told me you would never change me, never allow anyone to hurt me."_

"_James…I-I'm so sorry. I couldn't just leave you to die…I couldn't do it," I cried, ashamed. His snarky laughter was not what I had expected - it had made me uncomfortable, fearful. _

"_Sorry?" he continued to laugh as Carlisle attempted to get near him. "Stay away from me, Carlisle. Both of you…STAY. AWAY," he yelled, his palm held out to stop us from coming any closer._

_His disgust and apparent refusal to have me near him now burned me, ripping my dead heart from beneath my ribs. _

"_James, your very angry and I think if you fed-"_

"_Fed? On what Carlisle, animals?" He spat at Carlisle incredulously, "I would rather starve to death then live this pathetic excuse of what you call a life!"_

_James made to exit the room, while Carlisle and I stood by idly, mouths agape. Instinctively I raised my arm reaching for James, wanting nothing more than to be able to hold him, comfort him, but he turned on me with a ferocious snarl. "Don't touch me," he whispered leaning down towards my face, "don't you ever touch me again. You sicken me. All of you sicken me," he yelled so that everyone could hear him. "I should've known this would happen eventually. Esme was right all along, Isabella…you _are_ no good for me. You were NEVER any good for me."_

"_James, please, don't speak like that. You know that's not true. I saved you…we can still be together…just like you wanted," I whimpered, my heart shattering like glass as his glare hardened. _

"_I don't _want_ to be with you, Isabella," he hissed coldly, "I don't want you, I don't need you…and I don't love you," he hissed with finality._

_A sob left my lips as I trembled in shock, my hand clenching my chest as a pressure unlike any other wrapped itself around my ribs, gripping tightly with unrelenting precision. Where did it all go wrong? I thought I had done right by James. James: the man who had told me not more than three days ago that he loved me, that I was all he would ever need…_ever_._

"_But…I love you…" I cried loudly, determined, finding the strength to fight one last time. I had hoped that my words would ignite some semblance of humanity in him, some semblance of emotion, but it did nothing as James stared at me blankly; his red orbs piercing through my heart, while ripping my soul to shreds. _

"Love_…you have no idea what love is, _Bella_. You will never know what it is…just like you've taken away my future…I pray that yours is just as miserable as how mine will surely be - alone in a world that was never meant for me."_

"_It doesn't have to-"_

"_Shut up! Just shut the fuck up!" He screamed getting in my face, his mouth dripping venom, his nostrils flaring. I cringed at his use of words and his tone, though still reached my hand towards him, only to have him slap it away forcefully. _

"_James that is unnecessary. I will not have you behave in my house-"_

"_Fuck you, Carlisle. Fuck all of you. I hope you all rot in fucking hell!" _

_James pushed past Carlisle and me, opening the door with force, pulling it from its hinges. My siblings who had assembled in the hallway just outside said door, gasped when they took in the newly transformed James before them. _

_Rosalie had her arms firmly planted on a snarling Emmett's chest as James passed. I couldn't make out any of their thoughts, including James, due to the intense emotions surrounding them all._

Fuck, I really needed Jasper.

_Quickly, I ran after him, my family in tow as his barely dressed frame exited the main door. The beige-cotton pajama pants I had changed him into after the accident hung lowly on his hips, feet bare as well as his torso, an eerie alabaster in the indigo night. _

_Outside in the cool night James had more control. He was familiar with the surroundings; the trees, and the nature of the environment. Being a newborn his strength was also immeasurable, his speed unsurpassable - he could easily harm me if given the opportunity. I followed him cautiously, my family not too far behind at a short distance. I followed his scent north until he stopped abruptly in the Naugatuck State Forest. As I neared his crouching frame it became evident that he was feeding, a tiny doe caught within his grasp._

"_James…please talk to me. Don't leave like this, don't-" _

"_Stop, don't you get it?" he asked firmly, throwing the limp carcass to the side, mouth covered in its blood. "I hate you for what you've done to me…," I stepped back, gasping as he stepped closer. "I can never forgive you…I _will_ never forgive you…I. HATE. YOU, Isabella! Do you get it now? Is that clear enough for you?" He glowered upon me, a monster in an innocent man's body. He reached his arms towards me, and a surge of hope rushed through me, only to be taken away just as quick as it arrived when he shoved me back, causing me to land on the cold earth below, mortified. "Now go! Leave me alone!" _

_**Present Day**_

Numb…

James had left me numb, a shell of my former self. I don't remember how long I stood there in the forest after James had shoved me to the ground, seeing that I wouldn't leave, finally causing him to leave of his own accord; or how long my family allowed me to. What I do remember is that I felt nothing. I felt empty…forgotten.

It will be fifty-eight years ago this Halloween that James was bitten. Fifty-eight years of regret, of self-hatred and loathing. Since that day Esme and I barely spoke, and when we did it escalated to near death confrontations; and now she was doing to Edward what she did to James. The only difference was that she could never take Edward from me…

I laughed aloud; the irony of it all would make for a great novel I thought to myself. A human who refused immortality, a half-human, and half-vampire that hated the enigmatic life he was born into…

Though as funny as it was it didn't really matter, because even now, with my back against the moss covered Sitka spruce, my house in the near distance, I still felt nothing…

What little spark of happiness, of hope, that I had held had gone with the news of James' impending arrival.

_Why now, after all this time? Why?_

…_It's only me…_My sister Rosalie's voice alerted me as she stepped her way to where I sat, her heels crunching the brittle and cracked leaves beneath them.

"May I sit?" she asked and I nodded. "I spoke with Tanya…she's on her way."

"But why-"

"Shh, Bella," she held her palm up to quiet me, "none of us know why James has suddenly decided to come to Forks. Hell, he's probably completely unaware that we are even here, so we might be getting all worked up for nothing," she glanced around the darkened forest as if looking for something before continuing. "It also doesn't help that Alice's vision hasn't solidified yet, because he keeps changing his mind…but as you know that comes with the territory."

I nodded in agreement, knowing all too well just how unpredictable Alice's visions could be. _Besides, once James figures out that I am here he will decide not to come,_ I thought blankly.

"You need…support, from everyone. I can't stand idle and watch you torment yourself for years like you did last time…I don't want to lose you again," Rosalie sighed, staring in the opposite direction of our house, the direction I knew that would lead me back to Edward.

In the distance, where Rosalie's stare sat, the humming bird thrum of a heart beat could be heard. Stealthily, the chest it resided in came into view, slow and uncertain.

"Edward?" I choked, rubbing my eyes, looking back to Rosalie. "How?"

"I called him, Bella. I'm sorry, I had to. I told him everything," she admitted smiling nervously.

"_Everything_?" I sobbed as she nodded her head, Edward still remaining silent among the trees. "How long have I been out here?" I queried, knowing that my wretched life's story would take a while to re-tell.

"A while," she said looking away sadly.  
"But how did you get his number?"

"Bella, come on, his _father_ is the Chief of police…I called the station and _he_ gave me the number to reach Edward," she replied smugly, proud of herself. "When you didn't return right away, and you didn't answer your phone I got worried so I did what I had to do to find you."

"Just like last time," I breathed.

"Yes, just like last time," she sighed. "When I finally got a hold of Edward and he informed me you had both parted earlier…well, I got worried…_we_," she nodded towards Edward, "got worried. That's when I told him…I had to…. After we hung up I came outside to search for you. I didn't want to startle everyone else so I came alone. But when I saw you in the distance from the porch, hunched over, I knew you were safe so I called Edward back and told him where to find us."

"I don't know what to say…I'm so afraid," I whispered, hanging my head, as Edward neared; leaning down to run his fingers through my hair. I whimpered as I pushed my head into his palm before he crouched down beside me, wrapping his arms tightly around me.

_I needed this…I needed him._

"You don't have to be afraid, Bella," he said, his voice velveteen smooth. He lifted my chin gently, his glinting eyes fixed on my own dragging me in, swallowing every ounce of me. "I'm here now, _love_. No one can hurt you now…_no one_…"

Edward's lips rested upon my cheek, his nose just grazing my closed eye as he inhaled me; holding my head tightly to his own. I could sense Rosalie's departure as Edward and I become more intimate; his breathing sped up and our bodies came closer together, our flesh itching to absorb the others.

I wrapped my legs around his waist, straddling him as he sat on the dampened ground. He reciprocated by wrapping his arms around me tightly, bringing us even closer to each other, our clothed centers gyrating slowly against the other.

"Oh, god Edward…I need you, please don't go…_please_…don't stop," I cried, sob after tearless sob leaving me as I ground myself down upon his cloth covered center.

"I will never stop, Bella…I _promise_…I will never let you go, never leave you, _love_…" he whispered in my ear, his tongue darting out to trail a wet line over its exterior. "I want to be yours, only yours, Bella…_forever_." My body sung with desire at his declaration, while my heart clenched with fear.

"_Please_, take me, Bella…take me and make me yours…" his head had tilted beside my own, his neck exposed, artery pulsing, calling me, taunting me. I gripped his hair into my fingers, arching his neck even more, his overwhelming scent ravaging my system as I placed my watering mouth upon his warm, softened flesh.

"_Forever?_" I asked, exposing my teeth, needing to hear him say it one more time.

"Forever," he replied with finality, and I sunk my teeth into his waiting flesh.

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**Okay...so now we can reeeeaaaaally hate James!**

**_prick_....mutters to self.**

**Last chapter I asked if you could have an EPOV what you want it to be...I am still waiting for your answers *taps foot***

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**While your there check out the link to queenxochitl's story "Tomb Robber"...I promise you wont be disappointed...go...NOW...Stalkward awaits you ;)**


	9. Chapter 9: Confession Part 1

**HAPPY BIRTHDAY spicy...this one's for you =)**

**This chapter has not been beta'd yet...so please forgive any errors, I wanted to post it right away being that it is already late. Thanks for your patience.**

**THANK YOU to EACH and EVERY ONE of you that have read this story, fav'd/alerted, and reviewed. Your support has not gone unnoticed. Midnight Decadence has OFFICIALLY reached over 4000 HITS, and over 200 FAV's/alerts, cumulatively. It can be found on TWCS, Twi-Hard, and most recently Twilighted (not all chapters up)- all sites same penname. **

**Now without further ado...I give you OwnYourAssward, enjoy =)**

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"_I would die for you  
I would die for you  
I've been dying just to feel you by my side  
To know that you're mine_

_I will cry for you_  
_I will cry for you_  
_I will wash away your pain with all my tears_  
_And drown your fear_

_I will pray for you_  
_I will pray for you_  
_I will sell my soul for something pure and true_  
_Someone like you_

_See your face every place that I walk in_  
_Hear your voice every time I am talking_  
_You will believe in me_  
_And I will never be ignored_

_I will burn for you_  
_Feel pain for you_  
_I will twist the knife and bleed my aching heart_  
_And tear it apart_

_I will lie for you_  
_Beg and steal for you_  
_I will crawl on hands and knees until you see_  
_You're just like me_

_Violate all The love that I'm missing_  
_Throw away all the pain that I'm living_  
_You will believe in me_  
_And I can never be ignored_

_I would die for you_  
_I would kill for you_  
_I will steal for you_  
_I'd do time for you_  
_I would wait for you_  
_I'd make room for you_  
_I'd sail ships for you_  
_To be close to you_  
_To be a part of you_  
_'Cause I believe in you_  
_I believe in you_  
_I would die for you."_

_**#1 Crush: Garbage**_

_**

* * *

**_**9. Confession Part 1**

_**~Edward's Point Of View~**_

I cannot lie.

My intentions weren't always innocent.

I was going to _use_ her, nothing more- nothing less. I was going to compel her to give me what I wanted- life or death, whichever came first, using my keen ability of coercion, then I would leave her _and_ Forks- never to look back.

But _now_…?

I hadn't expected this, my body to be immune to her venom, my blood- apparently unlike any other, unable to yield to the change. The completion I had so desperately sought the death I had so unnervingly wished for. I couldn't get either, no matter how hard I tried.

And _now_…I could care less.

I never expected to have such strong feelings towards _her_, a vampire out of all beings. But no matter what I did my body ached for her cool touch, yearned for her lips against mine, along with the taste of the sweet nectar that was the venom that lined her veins.

I wanted her- her body, her soul…without her my life was shit. I was unable to sleep, feed- _live_. In such a short time she had become my everything…my _life_. I had to have her…_all_ of her…and I would in due time.

Yes, she would _mine_. Bella Cullen would belong to me and only me…_always_.

Is it possible that she could feel the same? After all she _is_ a full-fledged vampire, while I, a disgrace to her kind, a defective Halfling, would always be undeserving of her affection- sentenced to wander for all eternity, _alone_…

It disgusted me, what I was. It made me sick to my stomach. As much as I _tried_ to ignore it, I couldn't. This mockery of an existence haunted me, clung to me- and I couldn't escape it even if I tried. For years I've been running, a monster, feeding on innocent humans when I can no longer tolerate or keep down the processed shit real humans called food.

_Shit_, Bella thought _she_ was a monster…she had no fucking clue.

Children, women, men- each falling prey to my cunning ways, my powers of seduction. The same powers I had intended on using on Bella, but couldn't. There was never any rhyme or reason as to why I chose my prey, they were not felons, or hardened criminals. No, they just happened to be in the wrong place at the wrong time, and I just happened to be..._hungry_.

It wasn't like I had never come across vampires before, Bella and her family, were far from the first. All throughout my life I had seen them, though I had never seen any like the Cullen's. Intentionally, and for obvious purposes, I stayed clear, wanting nothing to do with them or their way of life. I mainly traveled around the world staying in far off places, some of them desolate, till my most recent move to Forks, Washington- prior to that I had spent the last ten years living in London, when on a whim I decided it was time to return to the states, Chicago my birth city the first stop on the agenda.

It was there in Chicago that I found my great-nephew, Anthony Masen; the _now_ new police Chief of Forks. He had been a cop on the beat in Chicago's big city for a while, and was looking for a change of scenery to a place with less crime. One that was small, quiet and the epitome of suburbia. Little did he know that he would be bringing company along with him once he found that place.

When Anthony had decided on Forks, after much research, he left ahead of me- given my peculiar situation he wanted to make sure it truly was the most overcast city in the continental United States. I knew his intentions were to run from me, and when months had passed with no contact from Anthony, I finally felt that he had had enough time to settle down. So…I decided to pay him a surprise visit.

Let's just say he wasn't too happy at first…but he's _learned_ to adjust, quite well too I should add.

****.

It had been no secret in the Masen family that Elizabeth Masen had died at home while giving birth to her son, Edward; her _illegitimate_ son who was not the child of her war veteran husband, Edward Senior.

Because of that little known fact, Edward Sr., wanted nothing to do with me. He disowned me; walking away from both my mother and I the day she died, leaving me an orphan at birth.

My oldest sister, Emily, my only other sibling- had already been married, raising her first-born daughter at the tender, yet ripe age of sixteen. She had apparently been told of exactly who my _real_ father was when my mother was still living, my mother confiding in her alone. It was Emily that stepped up, fetching me from the orphanage that Edward Sr. had left me at days earlier after he and she had buried my mother.

Emily raised me, hiding me from Edward Sr., documenting my quick progression into this life with few pictures but an abundance of words. Her observations, safely written so eloquently, in her tattered brown leather journal- one that I still kept safely stowed away in a safe deposit box back in Chicago.

Emily took care of me, even after the war had taken her young, soldier husband from her- she still continued to coddle me, love me. And she did so, without question, without complaint, until she was no longer was able; until she was taken from me and her then twenty-year-old daughter Olivia- in the dark of night.

Since then, I had always been looked after by Emily's family; her children, her children's-children. Our family secret passed down to each kin, each descendent without fail, without judgment. It was Emily's firm belief in me, in my soul, that I never be denied family…_love_, especially after what I had gone through to get here, after what _our_ mother had gone through to get me here. It was because of that tradition that I sought out Anthony. And it was now because of _that_ secret, and for fear of his retaliation, that I refused to leave when he had asked me initially- stating that he wanted no part in the burden that was my life.

Just the mere thought of his actions made me cringe with fury, and I shook it off, bringing myself back to the here and now as I watched Bella sprint into the darkened forest. I knew she would return to me, she would always return…she said so herself.

I smiled warmly at thought, recalling her spoken promise, my insides fluttering with anticipation of her return as I left the yard making my way to the front door, slowly. I was still aroused, my erection straining uncomfortably against the button fly of my jeans. I didn't want to enter the house and have Anthony see me in this state, but I feared it would never leave. The more I tried _not_ to think of Bella, the more she invaded my thoughts.

_Fuck, I needed release…I needed Bella. _

I had been so unwilling to let her go, seeing her golden eyes peppered with my crimson blood- her body mirroring the same wanton desire and need as my own. I couldn't explain my sudden feelings for her; they came on so abruptly, out of nowhere. But they felt so…_natural_, like they had been hidden within me all along, just waiting for her to release them- it scared the shit out of me.

It scared me that I wanted nothing but her, _all_ the time, and that I couldn't close my eyes without seeing her beautiful heart-shaped face. She was everywhere, and nowhere, all at once, and I knew that my life would continue to be nothing, empty if I couldn't have her with me…_forever_.

_Shit, I'm a fucking mess_…I thought, running my fingers through my hair in an attempt to calm my rattling nerves.

My mouth wanted to open, my voice wanted to scream. I wanted to belt out my adoration for her to the world. I wanted to crawl beneath her skin, give her my heart, my soul. I wanted her to see…_no_ I needed her to see that we _were_ the same…that we were meant to be- but I just couldn't. She had rejected me once before, when my feelings were still so warped, miniscule in comparison to how they are now. She had broken me with her words, and she didn't even know it. There was no way that I could show my weakness again- _her_, and go through that suffering.

But I had to. And besides things were different now, weren't they? Even her brothers confirmed that. They had told me she was miserable while I was gone, a ghost. While I was off trying to end my life, she was wallowing in guilt, suffering- just as lonely as I was.

That shit was about to change…for good. I was no longer going to adore her from afar- _always_ from afar. No, Bella Cullen would know my intentions, whether she liked them or not.

With one hand on the door knob, the other in my hair, I waited for the electric hum that normally surrounded Bella and me to completely dissolve- indicating that she was indeed gone, leaving me wincing from its absence. She was nothing more now than a wisping wind in the night, a reoccurring passing dream- one that I dreamt of nightly.

Reluctantly, I made my way into the small house, eager for the hours to pass so that Bella would return and be in my arms once more where she belonged. As I entered, the television blared the ten o'clock news, and Anthony snored deeply on the sofa. I cleared my throat roughly, alerting him to my presence, causing him to awaken abruptly.

"Ugh, shit! Sorry. I must have fallen asleep," he said, yawning, while rubbing the grogginess from his heavy eyes with the palm of his hands. I could sense the anxiety in his voice as he rose; taking in his surroundings, making sure that everything was how it should be.

"You're allowed to sleep Anthony, I'm not going to do anything to harm you. You should know that by now," I said frustrated, gripping the bridge of my nose with my index finger and thumb. "I've never hurt anyone in _our_ family; I've done nothing but kept each and every one of you safe while in my care," I near hissed, causing Anthony to take a step back.

"I'm…uh…sorry, Uncle Edward. It's not you," he eyed the room suspiciously before whispering. "I just don't trust those Cullen's. I mean- how do I know they won't come here to harm you," he swallowed hard, "or me? It wouldn't be the first time they snuck around here…"

The moment I knew of the Cullen's coven of vampires I informed Anthony at once, being sure to leave out the fact that they too knew what I was. During that conversation, which happened to occur on my very first day at Forks High, I had debated on moving away again due to Anthony's fear that one of them would become aware of my secret; a secret that had been hidden amongst my family for the past six decades. Unbeknownst to Anthony though, that secret was revealed in only a matter of seconds without my help- causing me to immediately forgo the idea of leaving Anthony alone.

"I already told you, Anthony. The Cullen's are definitely not your typical vampire coven," I insisted with a smirk. "They feed off the blood of animals. They live amongst the humans as if _they_ themselves are too. It's quite impressive, I must say," I laughed, distracted by the thought of the day I had been in the hospital, and when I had met Carlisle Cullen, the patriarch of Bella's coven. He had obviously been around humans for many years because he showed absolutely no signs of weakness as he examined me.

Though, I had noticed something strange occur between him and Bella. I noticed that he would try to discreetly look at Bella while examining me, his face appearing deep in thought. It was as though he was trying to project his thoughts to her, communicate with her…_silently_.

I would have never believed anything of the sorts to be remotely true. But, that was until earlier today, while in Bella's kitchen. Bella _kind-of_ let that little tidbit of information about herself out of the bag, well more so Alice, and any doubt that I may have harbored was quickly snubbed when I witnessed she and Bella holding their very own _silent_ conversation.

_Shit, does that mean she can hear me? I'm completely fucked! _

"Uncle Edward? Are you alright?" Anthony asked, walking over to where I stood before patting me on the shoulder, breaking me from my musing. "If you think they can be trusted…then I will trust your judgment. But please don't expect anything more. We can't take the chance of anyone else finding out about you. I know you understand."

Anthony's concerns were justified, as were every member of my human family that I had taken care of, or took care of me in return. I could never deny him of his instinctual reaction to fear for his own life, or mine. He was taught at an early age that self-preservation of our family's secret came before anything else; he was only doing his duty.

Anthony watched me warily, opening his mouth to speak before closing it, till finally he said the words that I knew had been hanging on his tongue. "You like that Bella girl, don't you? Do you think she is- is it possible she could be-"

What little bit of vampiric history I and my family could gather over the years, miniscule as it was, shed no light on what I was. There were myths, folklore, but nothing concrete. But, the only thing that _was_ concrete, the only thing that was written in every text imaginable, was that vampires mated for life, and once they found their mate they would know.

_I knew with Bella… _

I looked at him bemused, trying to hide my grin. When had I become so transparent?

"Yes, I like Bella, more than she knows…more than I could have ever fathomed. Though, I am not sure if the feeling is mutual."

"Have you asked her?" he stared at me, his hazel eyes reading me, scrutinizing me. "You haven't even asked her, have you?" I shrugged my shoulders, beginning to walk towards the kitchen. "It's clear you have feelings for this…uh…woman. So before you give up-"

"No," I said, cutting him off, my palm held up before him, "that is where you should stop, Anthony. I will _never_ give up. Not on Bella. _Never_ on Bella, regardless of how she feels."

_Regardless, she will be mine…no matter what. _

"Do you think you are in love with her?" he asked quickly, uncertain as to whether he should continue this conversation with me or not. "I'm sorry if it seems like I'm intruding. I'm just curious, I mean you've really only just met, but maybe that part of you- "

"Listen, Anthony," I answered, looking him directly in the eyes. "Vampire mating is not like human mating. When _we_…when a vampire falls in love, it is quick, it is intense, and it lasts forever."

_And I want Bella, forever. _

"You didn't answer my question, you only explained to me what I already know, Uncle Edward," he laughed lightly before finishing. "And do you realize that you referred to yourself as a vampire?"

"I did, didn't I?" I asked, and Anthony nodded. "Huh, I-I guess you're right." Well, that would definitely be a first. I had always refused to associate myself with that part of me, up until I met Bella that is. Everything in me changed the moment I met _Bella_. "I am not sure if love is the right word," I continued, finally, knowing that that word was inconsequential in comparison to how I felt for her.

Anthony looked at me knowingly before walking over to the closet to retrieve his gun belt and jacket. "I am going to take that as a yes, then," he laughed, again, as he put on the last touches of his uniform. "I'm doing an overnight tonight so you shouldn't see me till late tomorrow afternoon. So, I…uh…take it you'll probably be having company, then?" His eyebrows rose questioningly.

"Yes, I should be," I replied, glancing at the clock. "Bella should be coming by later tonight, and I most likely won't attend classes tomorrow, just so you're aware. I'm sure the school will be calling," I replied, snickering, and for a moment I could see the trepidation cross his face. "Anthony, nothing will happen to me. These Cullen's are good people. I say people because they are more human than most humans you and I know. Well…maybe not all of them." My thoughts began to drift off as I scratched the scruff on my jaw.

"What does that mean, Uncle Edward?" Anthony asked, panicked, freezing where he stood.

"Nothing, just go," I said, gently pushing him out the door. "You're going to be late!"

"I'm the Chief; I'm _allowed _to be late. Now, tell me what that means," he insisted, as I wrapped my arms around his waist, lifting him with ease before placing him carefully on the porch- only to close the door in his face mere seconds later.

"Have a good night, _dad_. See you tomorrow."

The sound of Anthony's grunting and the rumble of his cruisers engine told me that he was officially on his way. I had avoided compelling him to leave at all costs, not wanting to take that route with Anthony again unless absolutely necessary. He was the only person in my family that I had ever had to do that with, never before have I had to- it was something that I avoided at all costs when it came to my family and my family alone- but, he had just been so _stubborn_.

My victims were another story…

I loved the feeling of having complete power over them- knowing that I was in control. The way my body craved it, drank it up- letting the high the power trip brought with it run through my veins each time I drew in a new victim, a new toy, using my seductive prowess.

_Compulsion_.

It was my gift. It was how I was able to manipulate so many of my victims into offering me their necks, along with the blood that lay housed within them. Especially my female prey. One look, one breath, and they were putty in my hands, allowing me to do whatever I pleased with their bodies. I particularly loved the feel of my cock deep inside of them; their body's writhing in ecstasy as I drank from them. No one ever questioned me, why would they? I was nothing more than human to them- just slightly enhanced.

_I'm sure my father would be proud. _

As much as I loved the power, I hated it. It ruled me…it drained me.

_But, that was the old me, _right_? YES, I would gladly suck on the carcass of a mountain lion if it meant I could have Bella for all eternity._

I laughed to myself, pulling at my hair, thinking about the first day Bella _finally_ spoke to me in Biology. To think that I could have compelled her…what a fucking joke. She was stunning _me_, and she didn't even know.

We were both so lost in each other, I felt it then, I saw it then. The fire in her eyes, the way here body gravitated towards mine, the way I swayed towards her. Bella made me feel real that day…I was no longer invincible, I was _alive_.

But then she took it all away as quickly as she gave it- that day in the parking lot, the same day I took the razor to my wrist trying for the millionth time to end my fucked up life. Death always seemed so welcoming, so inviting, as opposed to being alone for an eternity- alone, _and_ out casted.

It was Emmett's idea to make Bella jealous, gain her attention- it had been my idea to use Jessica, or Skank-ley as she is better known. Bella was unaware that I even knew her brothers, Emmett and Jasper, having met them both on my first day at Forks. Bella was also completely unaware that her brothers had known exactly what I was, the second they saw me- just as I had known about them.

_Must be a male thing._

I met Jasper first- well bumped into him while on my way to Gym, to be more precise. Apparently, Jasper was able to see the very subtle differences that separated me from the rest of the human population immediately.

As I got ready for Gym, an eerie silence over took the locker room, and before I knew it I was being stalked- backed into a corner by a snarling, and rabid looking Jasper. His face heavily scowled, as if he was thinking hard, or trying to do some trick with his mind as he drew closer and closer to where I stood- his frustration increasing exponentially with every step.

"_What are you?" he growled in a thick southern accent, towering over me. "And don't lie to me."_

_Everything in my body screamed to lie; my fight or flight response was working in overdrive. But what lie could I tell him without there being some type of horrible repercussion? I knew I was fucked no matter what. He could kill me regardless- just for knowing _his_ secret, screw mine. I thought for a moment on how I should respond, the thought of lying to him was becoming increasingly tempting…_extremely_ tempting._

"_My name is, Edward Masen, and like you I am a vampire," my reply was blunt, though one of defeat, as my shoulders sagged, and my head hung in disgust. _

"_No, you are _not_ like me, _Edward Masen_. You're…_different_, your heart still beats," he said, as he stepped closer, his eyes burning a hole through my flesh as he looked me over. "But you're not completely human either, are you?" _

_I sighed heavily before looking up to meet his eyes, pleading silently for him to not push this. I bent over to tie my sneaker, deciding on my retort when I decided not to say anything at all. Instead, I got up and brushed past him; being sure to knock into his shoulder with enough force to have him lose his footing._

_I heard him laughing as I left the locker room, and within seconds, much to my chagrin, he was by my side, his hand extended as a peace offering. "By the way, I'm Jasper Whitlock," he said, as he shook my hand. _

Later while Jasper and I walked circles around the gym, refusing to participate, I had come clean- as did he. It was then that Jasper informed me of his coven, and his ability to control emotion. He said that he had actually tried to calm me initially when he first entered the locker room so that he could approach me, but when he couldn't it made him angry- hence all the snarling. I also remember vaguely him mentioning something briefly about me possibly being some type of shield, and that could be why his _talent-_ as he referred to it- didn't work.

On a lighter note, meeting Emmett was…well, it was _interesting_? Jasper I am sure, had already informed him of who I was and what I was, so that when I entered my Spanish class Emmett and I were already old chums.

"_Eddie, bro! Come here I saved you a seat," he yelled, from the back of the classroom, as he shoved the person beside him out of their desk, leaving the bewildered student stunned on the cold floor. He then proceeded to wave me over, before patting the now empty wooden seat, indicating where it was exactly he wanted me to sit. _

_One look at Emmett, and his large physique, and I would have sat on the roof if he wanted me to. There was no way in hell that I was fucking with a vampire his size._

"_Uh, hey," I said, nodding my head as I took the seat beside him. _

"_What's up, bro? How you liking the rain?"_

And just like that I was welcomed into their little circle…well, Emmett and Jaspers circle.

But then I saw her, and that was all it took for my world as I knew it to come crashing down.

I was in the hall, Mike Newton by my side; showing me how to get to the cafeteria when I saw her ready to walk out the building. Her mahogany curls bouncing upon her back, stopping mid-center of her soft, black leather jacket. She was beautiful, she was divine…I _had_ to have her.

When she had stopped, tilting her pretty little head to the side, listening in on the conversation Mike and I were having regarding her, I saw it. Her inhuman stance, her inhuman beauty. Immediately, I knew that this had to be the snarky sister Emmett had warned me about. I stared at her profile as Mike spoke to me, his words an incoherent mess as I continued to scrutinize her features- her skin, her body, her tight round ass in her faded, black, low-rise jeans.

_FUCK ME!_

She was an angel, a goddess. And just when I felt my body couldn't take anymore, a cool breeze entered the corridor, the crisp air picking up her scent, offering it to me as a sacrifice. I was immediately aroused, wanting her and nothing but her and what lay within her venom filled veins and the apex of her thighs.

Mike Newton's warning to stay away from _Bella Cullen _would fall on deaf ears. Because I had seen something I wanted, and when I saw something I wanted, it was only a matter of time before I made it mine. And I had _every_ intention of making Bella Cullen _mine_.

It was later that day when Bella the minx had been a hairs breadth away from attacking me. I clearly saw the fire in her eyes as she sat beside me, the predator in her licking her lips as she breathed me in. I could tell she hadn't fed in a while because her irises were black, darker than tar, unlike her brothers who both had ocher colored eyes.

Strangely, I could feel an odd hum between us, and the feeling only seemed to amplify as Bella grew increasingly unstable- ready and willing to tear out my jugular at any given moment. I had never been bitten before and I didn't know what the possible outcome could be, but damn I'd be lying if I said I didn't _want_ her to bite me. I wanted nothing more than to feel her little mouth upon me, her teeth digging into my flesh as I pounded into her soft, tight-

_Fuck, I'm hard again! _

After that it was two days before I had seen Bella again. I had spoken to both Emmett, and Jasper, the first day she was absent, they informed me that they _tried_ to tell her in the car ride home about me. Emmett had started by asking Jasper an innocent question as to whether or not he had met me, only to be cut off by Alice- his black haired pixie of a sister, and Jasper's wife.

According to Emmett my scent is what made Bella fly off the handle, apparently she couldn't resist the temptation to drink me dry.

_How nice. _

So, it was with that exact knowledge that I dredged forward in my plans of getting Bella Cullen to be mine, and only mine.

Midnight.

I groaned, looking at the flashing red iridescent numbers on my alarm clock. I had spent the latter part of the past hour thinking of Bella as I cleaned my small square of a room, placing clean linens on the bed, preparing for Bella's arrival. But with every pass of the second hand, I grew worried.

By one in the morning I was ready to throw up, so in a last ditch effort to calm my nerves I pulled out the pack of cigarettes I had hidden within my dresser drawer and leaned out the window, lighting the cancer-filled stick up and taking the longest drag of my life.

I was interrupted a few moments later by the obnoxious ring of the telephone. Quickly, I threw the lit cigarette to the ground two stories below, hearing the hiss that was created when the hot embers of its tip hit the dampened grass. I bounded from my room, leaping over the stairs, and landing lithely on the last step with ease, before running into the kitchen- picking up the receiver that dangled on the wall.

"Hello?" I asked, slightly winded.

"Edward? Is that you?" A strange female voice asked on the other end.

"Yes?" I replied, hesitantly.

"Oh, good," she took a deep breath. "This is Rosalie, Edward. May I speak with Bella?"

My chest tightened. "Bella isn't here, she left hours ago. She hasn't been home?"

"No, did she say she was coming home?" Rosalie sounded just as anxious as I did now.

"Yes, she said she had to speak to Carlisle and then she would be back." I was pulling my hair.

_What was she not saying?_

"SHIT! Okay, Edward. Just sit tight, give me five minutes, okay?" she asked, as my hand hovered on the door knob.

I groaned. "Five minutes, Rosalie. That's it before I go looking for her."

I hung the phone on the receiver, and stared at it, waiting exactly five minutes. And like she had said, Rosalie remained true to her word, because four minutes and fifty three seconds later my phone rang.

"Did you find her?" I asked, my body trembling.

"Yes," Rosalie sighed heavily. "She's in the woods, a short distance from our house. I can see her right now- I'm on the porch."

_Huh?_

"Why is she in the woods, is she okay?"

"I don't think so, Edward," she sighed, again, "I'm not sure exactly what Bella has told you about her past…but, it's about to pay her an unwanted visit…and I think it's only fair you know what to expect."

I nodded, even though I knew Rosalie couldn't see me, as I pulled a chair away from the table, sitting upon it as Rosalie began Bella's tale- a tale that would no doubt drive me to kill.

With fists clenched, I made my way through the thick wood, the crisp night air awakening me with every step, every breath. I heard Rosalie's voice before I saw her, her tall lean frame was sat beside a hunched over and forlorn, Bella.

I would kill this fucker James. Make no mistake of it.

When Bella had told me in a fit of anger that she had turned someone, I had never imagined it to be under the circumstances that Rosalie explained. No less, circumstances that that bitch Esme created.

And the nickname _Pet_? That fucking bitch didn't know me…didn't know what I was capable of. I am _not_ James, I am not some weak human that she could push around, or attack.

Rosalie had to explain Alice's gift in order for me to understand her concern, I wasn't surprised this time…the Cullen's are obviously different, I might as well learn to accept that.

Alice's vision were not set in stone, and it wouldn't be until a final decision was made. No one knew what James' intention was, or why he had chosen Forks of all places to come to. But I was certain that it was because of Bella, and that shit just didn't sit well with me.

He had abandoned her, after what she did for him, after how she cared for him- he left her. She had given him a gift! So what if he never had any intention of changing, fuck his beliefs. Bella didn't have to do what she did, she could have let him die…she _should_ have let the fucker die.

I had told Rosalie before we hung up that no harm would come to Bella, that I would protect her. And as I stand here now, Bella looking at me shocked, and afraid, I knew I needed to make her believe the same.

I didn't expect an all consuming need to envelop me the second I held her in my arms, or an intense desire to take over my senses as she straddled my lap, her center grinding against my _now_ obvious hard-on.

But, _fuck, I needed her._

I didn't even know if Rosalie was still there, I didn't even care. What I did know was that I wanted Bella. I wanted to feel her, needed to feel her. I wanted her mouth on me, her teeth within me, and I wanted it now. I couldn't wait until later; I couldn't wait one more fucking second. I needed her like she was the air I breathed- and without her I would cease to exist.

"_Please_, take me, Bella…take me and make me yours…" I pleaded, tilting my head to allow her access to my neck, showing her that I was truly her's and no one else's. And that only she could take this from me- my blood.

I groaned when I felt her little fingers grip my hair, causing me to expose my neck further to her. I thrust my hips upward, grinding myself harder into her swollen center as she placed her mouth over the flesh of my neck.

"_Forever?_" she asked her voice breathless and full of lust.

"Forever," I replied with finality, pulling my shirt above my head, giving her my flesh- _my_ sacrifice.

Before I could take another breath her teeth had sunken into my flesh, her body gyrated above me, my need for her intensifying with every passing second.

"Ugh…_fuck_, Bella," I moaned, as her suckling hardened.

She released me panting heavily in my ear, her cool breaths sending shivers down my spine. "I need you, Edward…I want to feel you, _all_ of you…_please_…," she cried, allowing her hands to drift towards my imprisoned erection. As much as I wanted her, _always_ wanted her, I didn't want it to be like this. I wanted to claim her body properly, _love_ her body the way it deserved, from head to toe and everywhere in between.

"Bella, _love_…I want you just as bad…just not here," I replied, and she mewled at my answer, still running her palm over my bulging crotch. I knew she was in pain, her body aching- in need of release just as mine. So I let my hand wander, bringing it towards her awaiting center, quickly unfastening the button, dipping my fingers beneath the hem of her lace panties. I would give her everything I could with just my touch, and then I would bring her home- only to give her everything with my body, again, and again.

"_Yessss_…" she hissed, before letting her mouth return to its earlier doing, allowing only her tongue to draw languid circles over the open wound in my neck before cupping it once more with her mouth.

She pressed her body as tightly as she could against my own, her knees clamping my outer thighs as she remained straddled above my sitting frame. I inched my fingers towards her icy-hot center. "_Ungh_, fuck, Edward," she screamed, pulling away from my neck with an audible pop, as I dipped two of my fingers into her wet pussy.

"Damn, Bella…you're so wet," I whispered, taking the lobe of her ear into my mouth, nipping on it softly. "Am I the only one that does this to you? Makes you feel this way?"

She nodded her head, her tight pussy languorously riding my fingers. "Yes, Edward…only you," she moaned.

"Good," I said sternly, running my free hand through her hair. "Then show me, Bella. Come for me…_only_ me," I ground out the final words, my dick twitching painfully in my pants.

I began quickening my ministrations, pumping my fingers insider of her, making sure to show her clit the same attention I was giving her pussy. I knew she needed this, and she needed it quickly so I began to rub her swollen nub furiously with my thumb, as she began to circle her hips against me, while her tongue lapped up the rivulets of blood that had cascaded over my shoulder and down onto my chest.

"Yeah, right there, Edward…_oh, fuck_, don't stop," within seconds her body began to twitch, her head flung back in complete ecstasy, her fingers gripped my shoulders, as her mouth parted- her tongue ran over her lips once before she bit down on the lower one, just as her walls clenched down tightly against my fingers. Her body's movements and her moaning were enough to send me over my own edge, as I came in my pants, my hips still thrusting upward to meet her finger-filled center.

I growled, my chest vibrating with the intensity of its sheer force.

_Mine_.

I released my fingers, slowly, as Bella attended to my neck- making sure to close the wound she had created. I was certain right then that I loved this woman, and I was fucking positive that I would never let her go.

"Baby, what's wrong?" she asked, her fingers running through my hair. "Please don't be mad at me. I planned on telling you everything tonight when I came back to your house."

She looked so sad and it killed me to see her in pain, especially when it was unwarranted. "_Love_, I'm fine. I'm going to kill James but besides that I'm fine." I watched as she took her lower lip between her teeth; and the simple gesture caused my libido to awaken once again.

"You know…you've been referring to me as love," she said, looking away into the darkness. "Edward…please-" Her tone was one of defeat, one I was far too familiar with.

I pulled her face toward mine, brushing her pouted lips with my own. "_Please_, what Bella? Tell me what you're thinking," I asked, cupping her face with my palms, our eyes boring into the others.

"I'm already so broken…I can't-I'm…I'm just so afraid, Edward," she said, her eyes screaming at me, her brow furrowed.

"I don't want you to be afraid," I murmured, softly. "Tell me, so I can take it away. What are you afraid of?"

"I'm afraid this isn't real," she nearly cried, pointing to herself than me. "I'm afraid that at any moment now you'll disappear- leave me."

I grabbed her hair, fisting the thick locks between my fingers before pulling her against me. My face rested beside her cheek, and I skimmed her soft flesh with my nose as I breathed in her unique essence. "Don't be afraid," I replied, seduction oozing from my lips.

The pitter-patter of raindrops against the canopy of trees above alerted me to exactly where we were. And as the rain began to fall heavily upon us I knew that I needed to get her to my home, safely, where we could continue this conversation.

I looked at her once more, her face was away from me, clearly she was thinking. "Bella? Please, look at me?" slowly she turned back to me; her face covered in fresh drops of rain. She looked as though she had been crying the way each drop was meticulously placed below her eyes. I rubbed the cool drops away with the pads of my thumbs, my chest constricting at the mere thought of her sadness. "Bella, I promise…" I hesitated, momentarily. Needing to make sure that she understood exactly what I was trying to say. "No. I _SWEAR_ that I will never hurt you, _NEVER_ abandon you."

I kissed her lips and whispered. "Don't be afraid." I let my lips brush against her cheek, whispering again, "don't be afraid." Finally, my mouth hovered above her ear and I breathed. "Let me in, Bella. Let me fix you." I placed one hand on her chest, right above her heart. "…let me _love_ you…"

* * *

**OwnYourAssward OWNS ME!**

***sniffles* "Tomb Robber* is going to be coming to a close....if you havent read it yet you are SERIOUSLY missing out! queenxochitl is the SHIZNIT, she OWNS me ;) LINK IS ON MY PROFILE**

**JoIN ME on FACEBOOK...LINK on PROFILE...PLEASE NOTE that just like my stories are rated mature so is my Fb page, I receive and send mature content that can be seen publicly. So if your interested in joining in on the fuckery send me a request, I look forward to hearing from you =)**


	10. Chapter 10: Confession Part 2

This is for Spicy. What Spicy wants...Spicy gets ;)

As always **THANK YOU **to ShamelessyObsessed and queenxochitl for their undying support of this story!

Midnight Decadence now has a thread over at **TWILIGHTED. **Huge thanks to Sheynondoah for putting it together. Come share your thoughts and theories...and get some teasers while your there. **LINK IS ON MY PROFILE**.

Midnight Decadence can be found on The Writers Coffee Shop (pics accompany every chapter), and Twilighted (not all chaps posted), same penname. As of today, MD has received over **6000 HITS, **over **300 fav's/alerts, **and close to **200 reviews **total, between all the sites it is posted on. **THANK YOU **to each one of you that take the time to read, and boobie gropes to those that leave me your thoughts.

Now...I give you the completion to **OwnYouAsswards** POV.

**Warning**...sugary sweet lemonade below...hope you got a sweet tooth =)

* * *

"_Close your eyes  
Let me touch you now  
Let me give you something that is real_

_Close the door_  
_Leave your fears behind_  
_Let me give you what you're giving me_

_You are the only thing_  
_That makes me want to live at all_

_And when I am with you_  
_There's no reason to pretend_  
_And when I am with you I feel flames again_

_Just put me inside you_  
_I would never ever leave_  
_Just put me inside you_  
_I would never ever leave_  
_You."_

_**Flames: Vast**_

* * *

**9. Confession Part 2**

_**~Edward's Point Of View~**_

_I kissed her lips and whispered. "Don't be afraid." I let my lips brush against her cheek, whispering again, "don't be afraid." Finally, my mouth hovered above her ear and I breathed. "Let me in, Bella. Let me fix you." I placed one hand on her chest, right above her heart. "…let me _love_ you…"_

"Edward…I-I…what are you saying?" she asked, pulling back so that our eyes met, our foreheads gently pressed against the others.

"I'm saying…that you are the only one who has ever touched my heart, Bella. It belongs to you…no other. And no one and I mean _no one_ can ever change that. Not Esme and certainly not fucking James. It will always be yours…like it or not," I confessed, smiling innocently before licking my lips.

I gauged her reaction, waiting for what I did not know, as I looked into her crimson speckled irises. Her eyes had widened at my declaration, appearing glassy in the now early morning rain; looking as though she truly had been crying. I watched, enamored, as her lips parted slightly before she turned her head to the side.

My stomach knotted. Was she rejecting me…_again_?

"Edward…I don't want to hurt you," she whimpered, pulling her lower lip between her teeth, gnawing on it feverishly. I reached up, releasing the puffed flesh from her death-like clutch, rubbing the pad of my thumb over it tenderly, figuratively smoothing away the abuse. "Fuck, Edward," she groaned. "What am I doing? What are _we_ doing? You shouldn't even be involved with me, with this mess." She threw her arms up in disgust, "I should have left when I was stronger," she then muttered the last few words to herself.

The rain was coming down in heavy sheets, and I blinked repeatedly to keep my eyes clear of the cold liquid so that I could see her. My chest ached at the mere thought of her wanting to leave me, leave _us_. That, and the thought of her feeling weak; killed me a little more inside. I had been no stranger to those emotions- one's that Bella's presence helps dissipate. She really had no idea that I too had felt the same- for so long, too long.

"This mess you talk about…well, I'm involved whether you want me to be or not," anger was beginning to fuel me. "I don't think you understand what I am trying to say to you, Bella. You are my life now, _YOU_." My words left me in a moan and I feared that my own weaknesses, those flaws I had been fighting to keep harbored, were beginning to rear their ugly heads.

Regardless though, she needed to know. Bella needed to understand that I wasn't just here for the moment, but for the long haul. "I would rather die than stay away from you," I growled, my teeth clenched tight, the possessive side of me breaking through. "Can't you see that by now, Bella? You have no fucking clue as to just how important you are to me. You're the most important thing to me…_ever,_" I whispered.

She turned her head again to the side, her eyes closed. Her profile was pure perfection, beauty, and I watched as her lips curved, ever so slowly, into what I knew to be a smile as she took in an unneeded breath. "You can't even imagine how good that feels, Edward…hearing you say that," she sighed, turning her gaze back to me, showing me for the first time the mirror image of my own emotions in her now darkened gaze.

Bella's eyes had become heavily hooded, her pupils dilated, covering the hue that appeared just moments before as she licked her lips wantonly, placing her delicate fingers into my hair. Gently she thread them through the sodden muddle, pulling me towards her so that we breathed each other's breath. "I know I should have left…but, there was something about you…_always_ something about you," she swallowed, continuing. "It was always more than just your blood…it was _you_. You were meant for me…_only_ me…I felt it then…I can feel it _now_."

My heart fluttered and I sighed in relief and understanding before whispering. "_Yes_."

With our lips touching she continued, whispering into my mouth. "For over ninety years I've walked amongst my kind, searching, _always_ searching. Once I had even thought my search was over, that I was complete, but I was wrong, Edward. Shit, I was so fucking wrong." She fisted my hair hard and I mewled at the sensation, letting my eyes roll. "I don't think I ever knew exactly what it was I was truly seeking, Edward. I never knew because you didn't exist to me yet…but now that you do, and you are _here_…I know that I will never be able to live in a world where you _don't_ exist."

"I hate myself…for breathing without you," I admitted, spitting out the words that had haunted me for weeks, causing her to clench her eyes shut.

"Edward, if there were anyway- anyway at all for me to become human for you -no matter what the price was…I would pay it."

I held her chin gently within my fingers as I traced my thumb over her lips. "I would sacrifice everything I am…everything I have…just to be with you, Bella."

"So the lamb has fallen in love with the lioness," she smirked, knowingly, bringing her lips even closer to my own.

"Stupid lamb," I muttered, leaning in, licking the swollen flesh before me.

"Masochistic lioness," she retorted, pulling my lower lip into her mouth before running her satiny tongue over it.

I then kissed her deeply, our tongues lazily exploring the others, her body pressed firmly against my own. I could have stayed like this forever- Bella in my arms, her mouth on mine. But I knew I needed more, I needed all of her. It was time. I needed to claim her- body and soul.

I pulled away, placing a soft kiss against her mouth- and she released my hair, tenderly rubbing the part of my scalp that she had just been tugging on. I breathed her in, wrapping my arms around her cloth soaked frame, lifting her- grabbing her thighs, guiding them around my waist, my erection painfully straining against my jeans as it sat just below her center.

"Bella," I moaned, gripping her hips, pulling her down on to my awaiting arousal, boldly grinding into her. "I need you. You're coming home with me…_now_." I demanded, and I slowly began walking towards my house, Bella's body tightly wound around me, our eyes fixated fiercely to the others.

"You don't know how long I've waited for you," she sighed, before placing her head on my chest, her small hands and ragged nails clawing at my naked back.

Her words ignited a fire beneath my flesh and I held her even tighter to my body before taking off- inhumanly fast.

* * *

"Tell me what you're thinking, it's strange not knowing," she said, repeating my same words from earlier as her hands trailed up and down my abdomen, while I slowly lifted her soaked shirt above her head, exposing the black lace bra beneath. "I know you know I can hear thoughts, Edward," she admitted, and I nodded, licking my lips, moving my fingers to the back of her bra to unbutton the dainty fabric.

"Can't you hear what I'm thinking?" I stopped, eyeing her speculatively, pushing the straps over her velvety shoulders, drinking in the puckered pale buds before me.

"No. But I don't think I'd want to…I'd rather hear your voice," she replied, breathy, biting her lip.

_Well, that's interesting._

"Huh, then let me share with you my thoughts," I paused, taking her attentive nipple into my mouth, dragging my teeth over the elongated flesh as I let my free hands travel down the satiny curve of her sides, down to her waist- before allowing my fingertips to tease the skin beneath the waistband of her jeans.

Pulling away from her nipple, roughly, I spoke. "Hmmm, I'm thinking…I'm thinking about how good it's going to feel once I get my cock inside of you," I stated calmly, voice thick with desire, as I leaned down, licking the diameter of her other breast and flicking its hardened nipple with the tip of my tongue.

"Fuck, Edward," she groaned, arching her back, pushing her hips into my hands as I tore the clasp of her jeans in my haste.

I placed my mouth above her ear. "I'm thinking of how delectable you will taste when I run my tongue over your clit before diving it into your tight little pussy," I breathed, suckling the soft flesh beneath her ear lobe as I pushed the wet denim over her hips and all the way down her legs, bringing my body with it.

I could smell her arousal as I bent down to remove the heavy fabric from her feet; her scent hitting me with force- causing my already throbbing erection to twitch with more anticipation.

"I'm thinking," I froze, then skimmed my parted lips up her calf, "about making you scream my name…_over_…and…_over_, as I make you come harder than you ever have before in your life, forgetting anyone who's ever touched you before me."

"_Ungh_," she groaned…I smiled.

"Would you like that? Do you want me to make you come, Bella?"

"Yes," she whimpered, her hips rising to the empty air.

Slowly I rose, trailing my palm around her cold and dampened calf, rising upward, letting my fingers torturously caress her thigh- barely grazing the lace that was now drenched with her juices.

I stopped, resting my head against her thigh, her cool skin a soothing balm to my overheated flesh as I ran small circles over her lace-covered-wanting-core with the tip of my index finger. She moaned at my deliberate avoidance and I allowed that one finger entry beneath the hem of the fabric, running it languorously over and between her slickened folds, but never entering her.

"Edward, please. You're fucking killing me," she cried, and I chuckled sinisterly.

"Payback is a bitch, my love," I laughed, nuzzling my face into the apex of her thighs, breathing in her scent as though without it I would cease to exist. "Lay back on the bed, _now_," I demanded, and she complied lying back so that her knees hung over the edge.

I positioned myself on my knees, between her slightly spread thighs, as I ran my palms over them, slowly bringing them to where her panties rested along her hips. My fingers delved beneath the elastic, pulling so that the fragile lace tore within my fingers, freeing the flower beneath and its nectar that I would soon consume.

Bella moaned, lifting her hips again from the bed, her hands running through the tangled mess on my head.

I had never drunk from Bella's core and I wanted to make it memorable, even though the feral side of me wanted nothing more than to tear into her like she was raw steak.

"Patience," I said, more for my benefit, and I removed the fabric completely, exposing her dripping sex before me. I paused, drinking in her body. She was beautiful, a goddess, and she was _mine_.

Outside, the rain had let up, allowing the moon to break free of the thickened clouds that had held it captive. The luminescent glow that emanated from the moon slithered across Bella's body like a snake, allowing her smooth milky skin to shine in the faint grey light. Her body was inviting…alluring, and I wanted to lick her, to taste her- every square inch of her.

With my palms placed on the inside of her thighs, my thumbs running lazy circles over the pulse-less artery housed within- I pushed, spreading her open for me- _only_ me, holding her thighs down like gossamer wings. Her sex glistened like morning dew, her scent even more enticing as she lay before me- draped open and waiting.

Sensually, I grazed my nose along her inner thigh, breathing in all that she was as I peppered light kisses upon the soft skin. All the while her body purred, drowning in desire and need…for _me_.

I let my fingers delicately touch the softened flesh that would soon allow me entry to her heavenly core. The same flesh I had touched many times before was brand new to me now, and I treated it as such; gently gliding my fingers around the swollen folds, circling the tip of my fingers around the ball of nerves that I knew would bring her over the edge in time.

"I'm going to taste you now, Bella," I warned, "would you like that?"

"_Yessss_, fuck yes I would like that," she moaned, again lifting her hips, offering me the bouquet that was her sex.

Moving my palms under her thighs I gripped her soft ass and roughly pulled her body down so she hung slightly off the bed, her pussy now lie right before my awaiting mouth. I lifted her thighs, forcing her to bend her knees, as I placed her bare feet on my shoulders before bringing my hands to her hips- splaying them open while applying pressure to the jutting bone.

"Do you want me to fuck you with my mouth, Bella?" I asked, licking a line up her slick flesh. I had to pause momentarily when the action along with the taste of her almost sent me into frenzy, certain that had I not I would have come right there.

I looked up after a few seconds when she hadn't answered, taunting her aching center with hot heavy breaths. Her head was thrown back, lower lip clenched tightly within her teeth, forearm thrown over her head.

I growled. "Tell me. Do _you_ want _me_ to fuck _you_ with _my_ mouth?"

"_YES_," she screamed at me, and there was no way I could hold in the laugh that escaped my lips.

"Good, because that is _exactly_ what I am about to do. Don't be afraid…to…uh…vocalize," I smiled, my lips against her folds. And without any further hesitation I leaned in and savored the fine wine that was _my_ Bella.

I dove right in, licking and sucking her swollen flesh, causing herbody to convulse under my tongue and within my hands. I drank from her, relishing in the sweet tang that was her nectar, making her scream my name in reckless abandon as my teeth grazed her nub, only to do it again- making her come over and over just like I said I would.

Though tasting her like _this_…wasn't enough. I wanted _more_…_needed_ more. So while I dug my fingers into her sweet chasm, I let my mouth trail along her inner thigh, resting just above where I knew her femoral artery to be. And as I pushed my fingers, deeper and deeper still, I cupped her cool flesh with my lips, bared my teeth, and bit into her body.

"_Oh_, shit," she screamed, her body vibrating as her venom intertwined with my blood ran free from the thick vessel- causing her to clench tightly around my fingers, coming all over my hand while I drank the sweetened liquid candy from her thigh.

"Do you like that?" I asked, pulling away momentarily, looking at her as her body shook from the intensity of her orgasm.

_I do this to her. Me. No one else._

"Y-Y-Yes," she cried, stammering, and I returned my mouth to her thigh, gulping in the seeping fluid. I allowed its thickness to coat my mouth; absorbing every drop into the soft tissue that lie there.

I was high. High on Bella…her venom, my blood. My eyes rolled as her venom passed through my system, igniting a lightning storm within every living cell. I was on fire, consumed by her very existence…_her_. I was burning with desire- lust, and I would gladly burn for all my life if it meant I could be near her always, feel her, touch her, taste her…_love_ her.

My skin itched with electricity and I wanted more, to feel more, to feel her. I wanted to crawl beneath her skin, take refuge in her heart. I wanted her with me always, like this…in love.

_She did this to me. Her. No one else._

When I felt the tug of her fingers on my scalp I knew that she had had enough, and reluctantly I pulled myself away, licking the quickly healing wound one more time before placing a chaste kiss upon the mark I had left.

_Mine_.

"Come here," she whispered, her voice dripping with sex as she tugged me by my hair up her body. "Get rid of those," she said sternly, eyeing my pants and I did as I was told.

Naked and just as needy as I, she scurried back into the middle of the bed, summoning me with her index finger to come to her. And like a lost puppy I listened, crawling slowly between her spread thighs, her hands groping her breasts as she moaned wantonly. "Edward, take me…"

I hovered above her, the tip of my penis pressed precariously against her dripping sex. One push and she would be mine, one thrust and everything would change. She would belong to me, _only_ me, and I would kill to keep it that way.

I looked down upon her, her eyes darkened with need, her now dry hair fanned out beneath her, chocolate-cherry locks framing her face. I leaned in, taking her pouted lips into my own, suckling the silkiness that was her mouth before entering it with my tongue.

Bella raised her thighs, wrapping them around my hips before locking her ankles behind me. Her eyes- telling me she was ready.

"Who do you belong to?" I asked, authority lacing my tone, my eyes burning through her.

"You," she answered, with confidence, no thought involved. "I belong to you, Edward….no one else."

"There was _never_ anyone else, Bella…there will never _be_ anyone else," I groaned, as I allowed myself to enter her, our bodies becoming one, whole…_complete_.

_Fuck!_

"Only you, Edward…_ahhh_…," she cried, raising her hips to meet my deepening thrusts. "It will only ever be you."

With our bodies pressed firmly against each other I continued my assault, feeling my cock sheathed inside her, her body wrapped around me in complete perfection. She could never deny this now...

Her body, her heart, her _soul_…each one was mine. Each belonged to me now…the union of our bodies consummated that…she was _my_ mate. No one else's. Her body was mine to hold, to protect, to make love to, or _fuck_- if I chose.

_God, help the poor fool that tries to interfere…_

Pushing her knees towards her chest I deepened the angle, thrusting myself further and further into her ever tightening core while her hands dug shamelessly into my ass, pulling me in even deeper.

"God, _Edward_…I can't get enough of you," she sobbed, holding on to my body like I was her buoy, while her walls tightened further around my cock, her release near.

"Fuck God, baby…that's all me," I grunted, grabbing beneath her ass, grinding and burying myself into her more.

"Only you," she began chanting, "only you…only you…oh, fuck, Edward," she moaned, her eyes frantically locking with mine. "I'm going to…"

"No," I snarled, flipping us over so that she straddled me, her thighs now clenching my hips. I gripped her hips, my fingers digging into her- my cock gliding in and out of her dripping and quivering sex.

She threw her head back; her nails dug deep into my chest, while her supple tits bobbed before me. I gazed down between us, seeing where our bodies were joined…just how we should be…_one_. I knew she was close and I grabbed both breasts in my hands, pinching and pulling each nipple roughly.

"_Please_, Edward," she begged, her body trembling. Her need for me- for me to give her permission for release sent me over my own precipice as I wrapped my fist in her long locks, pulling her head to me before growling in her ear. "Come for _me…NOW!"_

With my words her walls tightened around my throbbing cock, and as she screamed my name into oblivion I pulsed inside her, releasing my seed deep into her barren womb.

"Fuck, Bella…" I panted, still pulsing within her as her hips gyrated slowly against me, her hair dangling in my face. "I don't think I will ever get enough of that," I confessed, barely audible through raspy breaths. I cupped her face, bringing her lips to my own before plunging my tongue into her moist mouth, relishing in the flavor that lay hidden there.

She pulled away, flipping her hair from her face, as she ground herself on me, my penis still deep inside her. She smiled, as she circled her hips, leaning down to trail a line up my sternum with her tongue and to my collar bone. "Let's put that theory to the test, then…shall _we_?" she asked, her eyes dark again, mouth ghosting near the hollow of my throat.

I felt her tongue first, its tip drawing lazy circles over the crescent shaped mark she had created during her first drinking session. My pulse was hammering with anticipation and I felt her lips part into a smile against my throat before biting down, causing my already needy shaft to harden further- ready for round two.

* * *

We made love for hours. Ravaging the other till the early afternoon; our bodies covered in my sweat, body fluids, and a combination of Bella's venom and my blood.

I held Bella close, her head resting on my chest, hair matted to my sticky skin. Her body was flung over my torso and legs. She was naked. She was beautiful. She was mine.

As I ran my hands through her sweat laden hair I thought of my past. Of all the shit I had done, good…bad. I knew that I never wanted to go back to that. I never wanted to be anywhere but right here with Bella in my arms.

I watched her quietly, her eyes fluttered behind her pale lids. I knew she wasn't asleep, knowing that it was something she was unable to enjoy. That same something I had taken for granted in my own existence. But even so, as she lay with me, her long lashes licking the apples of her pink cheeks -cheeks that were flushed due to my blood that ran through her- I knew I would stay awake a million years if it meant being with her for one second more.

She broke me from my reverie, sighing, her fingers twirling the scattered tuft of hair upon my chest. "Edward?"

"Mmmm."

"How old are you?"

I laughed. We had been intimate with each other, confessed our love, but knew nothing of the others age. "Physically? I'd say around twenty, give or take. But numerically…I'm sixty-six."

"That's it?" she asked, amused, tilting her face upward to see me. "You're a baby," she cooed.

"I am no baby, Bella." I retorted, taking her hand and forcing it to grip my penis while kissing her forehead. "How old are you, huh?

"Seventeen," she stated, matter of fact.

"Yeah, that's what you want others to believe. Come on, seriously. For instance," I sat up, pulling her body with me. "I was born in nineteen-forty-four, towards the end of world war two. Now you go." I tapped her shoulder and she laughed.

"Uh, okay. Well, I was born in…uh…nineteen-oh-one," she whispered, before biting her lip and turning her head. I laughed aloud, not expecting _that_ answer at all, and then recalling her words from earlier… _'For over ninety years I've walked amongst my kind, searching…' _

_Shit_.

"Was that when you were turned? Because honestly, I would have thought you were an eighties baby or some shit."

"Why's that?" she asked, her brows scrunched together.

"Because you seem to always be channeling your inner Joan Jett," I replied.

"Fuck you," she spat, smacking my bare chest with her open palm.

"See, that's what I mean," I laughed, unable to control my snickering. "You're riddled with angst."

"Screw you, Edward. Do you want me to answer your dumbass question or not?" she asked, serious, and I bit my lip to control myself.

"Yes, please…continue," I said, poorly trying to maintain my calm facade.

"I was turned in nineteen-eighteen. Both my parents had died of Spanish influenza…I was just about to follow suit when Carlisle saved me, he was the doctor that cared for me and my family…and here I am," she smiled, her eyes filling with warmth at the mention of Carlisle's name.

I wanted to know more of her past, more of how she lived…fed, but was interrupted with the obnoxious ring of her cell-phone.

"Alice," she muttered, rolling her eyes sarcastically before answering the call. I could hear Alice's faint voice in the background as she spoke.

"She _is_?" Bella asked excitedly. "Tell her we will be there soon."

I looked at her with confusion as her naked form jumped from the bed. "Come on, Edward. We have to go! Tanya has just arrived," she nearly squealed, tugging her skinny jeans up her legs.

"Who is this Tanya that she elicits such happiness from you?"

I was jealous.

"Edward," she stopped, walking over to where I still lay naked on the bed, running her fingers through my dampened hair. "Baby, Tanya is my best friend. And you elicit more than just happiness from me. Now come on…let's go! Get your lazy-emo-ass out of that bed!"

I got up, earning myself a smack on my naked ass as I did. We didn't even bother to shower, both of us throwing on our clothes from the night before. I knew that once we entered the Cullen's house the scent of sex would not go unnoticed. But I didn't give a shit, I wanted everyone to know…including that bitch Esme; what Bella and I had been doing for the past eight hours _non-stop._

We made our way by foot, hand in hand, towards Bella's house. When we approached I could hear the raucous of excitement that this guest Tanya had brought with her. I followed behind Bella, entering the open doorway, bringing with me a gust of autumn air. In the near distance I could hear who I would assume to be Tanya, apparently catching my scent in the wind.

"Mmhmm, get a whiff of that! Here comes the human…_oh_, and what's that…no, it couldn't be. Bella!" she yelled, her footsteps getting near. "Did you have _sex_, with a human? I smell-"

She stopped, her words caught in her throat as her palm covered her mouth, hiding the obvious gasp that threatened to escape. In the dim light of the hall where she stood I could see her golden eyes locked on my own. She was tall, lean, with cascading strawberry-blonde curls. She was beautiful…but she was not Bella.

"Tanya…what the fuck? What's wrong?" Bella asked nervously, stepping closer towards her friend as I stayed rooted to the floor beneath me.

"Azrael," Tanya whispered, slowly dropping her hand from her mouth.

"Who the hell is Azrael, Tanya?" Bella demanded, as Tanya moved with vampiric speed to stand before me, her eyes looking me over as she circled my body like a vulture and I her next meal.

"Bella…why didn't you tell me Edward was a half-breed?"

_What. The. Fuck_.

"I didn't have time?" Bella questioned and Tanya's eyes narrowed.

"Oh, I'm sure you could have found time for that," she said sarcastically, clicking her tongue. "Azrael…," she continued, speaking only to me now, stopping so that we stood face to face. "Azrael is a _very_ dangerous vampire…an incubus…_my_ maker…and _apparently_ your father…"

* * *

_**Oh my**_...

Thank you **queenxochitl **for allowing me to borrow Azrael, lol.

So? Theories? Hate me? Love me? Let me know by leaving me some words, or not.

**REC's this week**:  
I will **FOREVER **rec "**Tomb Robber**" by **queenxochitl**, this story is **AMAZING **and like no other. If you havent read it yet then you are seriously missing out.

Another great story that I **CANNOT **get enough of is "**Daybreak**" by **kay0913**. This story has caught my attention and wont let go..."Bella Swan thought everything that she has dealt with was real, that she lived in a town where the supernatural exists. One day she wakes up, only to find out that the reality she had belonged to was nothing more than one big elaborate dream."

**BOTH **links are in fav's.


	11. Chapter 11: Family

Sorry for the delay in posting...I would bitch about RL but I am sure no one wants to hear about it.

Thank you **ShamelesslyObssessed **and **queenxochitl**...you are both my rocks and help make this story what it is.

**HELLO **new readers, welcome to my crazy little story. Also, **HUUUUUGE **thank you to those that are following, reviewing, and adding this to your alerts and fav's. You all own me...seriously ;)

Now...let us continue...

* * *

"_Lie awake in bed at night  
And think about your life  
Do you want to be different?  
Try to let go of the truth  
The battles of your youth  
'Cause this is just a game…_  
_  
__It's a beautiful lie_  
_It's the perfect denial_  
_Such a beautiful lie to believe in_  
_So beautiful, beautiful it makes me_

_It's time to forget about the past_  
_To wash away what happened last_  
_Hide behind an empty face_  
_Don't ask too much, just say_  
_'Cause this is just a game…_

_Everyone's looking at me_  
_I'm running around in circles, baby_  
_A quiet desperation's building higher_  
_I've got to remember this is just a game_

_So beautiful, beautiful_  
_It's a beautiful lie."_

**_A Beautiful Lie: 30 Seconds To Mars_**

* * *

**11. Family**

"Bella…why didn't you tell me Edward was a half-breed?" Tanya asked in her sing-song voice, her lean frame circling Edward's, her mouth near salivating.

"I didn't have time?" I asked sarcastically, and was met with Tanya's narrowed eyes.

"Oh, I'm sure you could have found time for that," she deadpanned, clicking her tongue before continuing.

"Azrael…," she stopped, speaking only to Edward now- face to face. "Azrael is a _very_ dangerous vampire…an incubus…_my_ maker…and _apparently_ your father…"

"I think you might have me confused with someone else," Edward hissed, his jaw tightening over the bone beneath while Tanya continued her visual assault on him.

"_Ohhhh_, you even have the voice to match," Tanya cheered. "And just for clarification, I confuse no one…believe me, Edward."

As the words left her mouth my mind was beaten with the visual's of exactly who this Azrael was…and what I saw was absolutely _terrifying_. Tanya's memory; of every line that etched Azrael's face, every miniscule detail of his body, was pristine- as she recalled his muscular frame looming over her, his crimson eyes locked on her own before leaning in to take her mouth in his.

_He_ was Edward…Edward was _him_…._FUCK_!

I gasped aloud, my hand quickly going to cover my open mouth before hastily snapping it shut. My lack of subtlety was abundantly clear as Edward swiftly turned his head to face me, his eyes glowing with ferocity.

"What did she just say to you, Bella?" he asked through clenched teeth.

"She said nothing…it's what I saw," I replied hesitantly, turning my head away, afraid his gleaming eyes would burn me like the sun if I stared too long.

"Tell me," he growled, walking to my side, his body tensing with anger. "Tell me, Bella. I will not ask again." And he wouldn't have to because I could only acquiesce.

"Whoa, this just gets better and better. You've got the same possessive attitude as well, huh," Tanya laughed, shaking her head astonished.

"Shut the fuck up, Tanya. You're not making matters any easier," I snapped, turning to look at Edward who was growing more irate by the second. "I saw him through her thoughts, Edward…"

"_And_…?" he asked, sarcasm and impatience thickening his tone.

"You look just like him…I mean _just fucking_ _like_ _him_, Edward," I finished, stunned.

"Bullshit," he sneered, and his fingers went to his hair to begin their assault on his scalp as he began to pace. "You don't know what you fucking saw."

Before I could retort, Carlisle's calm voice interjected. "I think we should all sit. The others are out hunting. We actually have some privacy, so let us utilize it. Edward," he said, placing his hand upon Edward's shoulder in a fatherly gesture, while resting his glare on Tanya. "I think Tanya needs to maybe enlighten us a little more regarding this _obviously_ disturbing information before we pass judgment."

"Disturbing, Carlisle?" Tanya asked, confused.

"Yes, Tanya- disturbing. What other adjective would properly describe the information I have just overheard?" he asked rhetorically, while Tanya remained still and silent. "I was under the impression that your mother, Sasha, had been your _maker_, as well as your sisters. But _now_…now I hear differently, after all these years, a century of friendship? There appears to be many things I am unaware of and as you can understand, being close with your family- and you mine- for as long as we have, this news could only be exactly that…_disturbing_."

Tanya nodded her head in agreement to Carlisle's words as he led Edward into the dining room, pulling out the chair closest to the head of the table for Edward to take so he was sat beside him.

"Please, son, sit," Carlisle gestured and Edward sat, his face still a scowl, though its earlier sharpness had lightened minutely.

I sat at Edward's side, leaning in to whisper in his ear as I took his warm hand within my own. "Edward, I had no idea. I'm so sorry," I said, running circles over the white of his clenched knuckles, trying in vain to rub away the tension.

"I know, Bella," he replied tersely, his words cold, as he avoided eye contact with me. I observed his body language as his frustration escalated- his head slightly bowed, brow scrunched, and his eyes fixated on the mahogany grain of the table before him, as he listened to the conversation take place before him.

"So, let me get this straight…this Azrael that you spoke of…he is your maker?" Carlisle asked Tanya, still befuddled. I could only imagine what he had heard as Edward and I had entered the house- welcomed with a twisted fucking reunion of sorts.

"Mine, as well as my mothers, and my sisters: Irina and Kate," Tanya answered, looking almost ashamed. I watched as Carlisle sat back in his chair, stunned- his fingers immediately reaching for his chin, rubbing its length in consternation as he always did when deep in thought.

…_All this time…all these years…lies…_he thought in dismay, as anger and sadness both conflicted the serene features of his face at the same time.

"Carlisle, I know that's not the story that my family and I had given you long ago. And, I apologize for the truth coming out now…but believe me…it was for my own safety as well as my sisters that we not divulge who Azrael was. Especially after the death of our mother," Tanya stated sadly, her obvious resentment for her and her family's behavior palpable.

Leaning in closer to Tanya, Carlisle whispered- though useless. "Are you trying to tell me that this…this _Azrael_ was involved with the immortal children?" he asked, incredulous, and Tanya nodded silently in affirmation.

I sunk in my chair, recalling the horrible tale that Carlisle had once told us long ago in regards to how Tanya's mother had been tried, and executed by the Volturi for the infraction of creating Vasili, her son- an immortal child. Tanya and her sisters were spared due to their innocent ignorance; though now it appeared they knew all along of their mothers doing. What no one knew, obviously along with the Volturi -which was quite a surprise given Aro's gift- was that Sasha, Tanya's mother, had a cohort and apparently had not worked alone.

Edward looked perplexed, his eyes darting between Tanya and Carlisle, trying to ascertain the complexity of what was being discussed.

"The immortal children were toddlers…some even infants. They were transformed into our kind, leaving them frozen in time, to remain as children for all eternity," I answered his unasked question.

"They were beautiful, and loved, and it only took one look at them and you were under their control," Tanya added dreamily, her mind lost in the memory of her little brother.

"Yes, that may be so," said Carlisle in a clipped tone, "but they were dangerous, unable to control their thirst, and if they could not get their way a tantrum would ensue, leading to the destruction of whole villages, Tanya."

…_So much blood was spilled…_ he finished in thought, the memory staggering.

Suddenly, a rogue thought entered my mind, someone who wasn't even present in the room. Immediately, I tensed, rising from my seat in search of the bitch the vile thoughts spewed from.

…_Edward…immortal child…_Esme thought, her words scattered, indicating she was most likely on the third floor or outside- but nevertheless eavesdropping.

I knew exactly what her assumptions were and I hissed with vehemence at the empty air, my teeth bared. "Bella, what's wrong?" Edward asked, his hand gripped firmly on my arm. I could feel the glare of Carlisle and Tanya on my face, and I turned towards Carlisle whose features showed no sign of interpretation.

"Your _wife_ seems to be under the assumption that Edward is an immortal child," I spat at Carlisle who winced at my tone.

"Bella, that's absurd, you must be mistaken. Esme knows what an immortal child is and I am sure she would never-"

"Carlisle," my voice inflected with clarity. "Don't ever tell me what the fuck Esme would _never_ do, because that is just bullshit and you know it. You need to tell your wife to back the fuck off. Do you hear me, Esme?" I yelled, knowing she could. "You don't know shit about Edward…and you _never_ will."

"Bella, sit down," Edward sighed, rolling his eyes impatiently. He forced me back down into my seat, though a snarl still passed my lips. "What do you know about me, what does _he_ know?" Edward then asked Tanya, directly, as he brought his attention to her and only her. Her eyebrows rose in surprise at his cool tone, but instead of a snide come back she cowered under his glare.

"I…um…I know that Azrael has had many human mates, as is his nature."

"Am I the only one?" He asked shortly, his body rigid beside me.

"I didn't even know you existed till now, Edward. I couldn't even tell you if Azrael knows about you or not either, it's been nearly seventy years since I have seen or spoken to him. I'm sorry, I wish I could be of more help but…I _really_ don't know. I…can only pray that you are the only one," she replied with sadness.

…_For all our sakes I pray you are the only one…_Tanya thought silently.

Edward took his face within his palms, his hands gripping the hair at his temples. "What. Do. You. Mean…_pray,_ I am the only one?" his words came out muffled, yet brusque.

…_The Volturi…_Tanya thought silently, unable to say the word aloud.

"Edward," Carlisle spoke, and Edward slowly removed a hand from his face, tilting his head towards Carlisle's voice. "Does the Volturi know of your existence?" he asked, as if he had read Tanya's thoughts.

"_Who_?" Edward asked perplexed, and his lack of knowledge caused my stomach to drop to the floor.

"Well, if he doesn't know about them, then they must not know about him, _right_?" Tanya interceded, looking at Carlisle and I nervously.

"_He_ is sitting right here, and _he_ has a name," Edward sneered.

"Edward, the Volturi are the largest and most powerful vampire coven in the world," I explained. "They've been around for at least three-thousand years if not more."

"And that should matter to me _because_?"

"It should matter to you _because_ they enforce the laws of the vampire world," I said cuttingly.

"Since when do vampires have laws?" he scoffed, and I bit my lip in agitation as Edward glared at me.

"You can't be fucking serious," I muttered in aggravation.

"Well there really is only one," Carlisle intervened. "Humans are not to know of our existence, and if by chance they do become aware of what we are, then they are to become vampires themselves …," Carlisle swallowed before continuing, "or be killed."

"Ah," Edward answered, "and I am partially human, _so_, I can see where there could be a problem…I could become the meal," he snickered, "eat or be eaten, right?"

"No one is going to lay a fucking finger on you," I hissed, my protective side immediately showing its face.

"Edward," Carlisle said, his palm outstretched in a calming gesture towards me, ocher eyes full of concern. "I don't think your partial mortality would be the problem. I think your _uniqueness_ would gain unwanted attention from Aro, the main leader of the Volturi. He has been known to covet vampires with gifts," he looked towards me as he spoke before returning his softened gaze back to Edward, "as well as turn any human that he feels may possess some prospective talent…and this is done for his benefit, and his alone."

"So what does that have to do with me?"

"You're an enigma, Edward," I said sweetly, trying to cover my impatience. " I can't read you like I can read others. You have this uncanny fucking ability to block your thoughts from me, and Jasper is unable to manipulate your emotions." I noticed Tanya squirm out of the corner of my eye at my words. "There may be more to your gift then you know, and if Aro finds out about you_,_ it's almost guaranteed he will want you as part of his guard."

I stared at Tanya, trying to understand her reaction to my words, but was met with rambling thoughts. "Or worse," she said, adding to the conversation. "He may want to make more of you."

I shuddered at the idea- Edward being mated with human women to breed half-blood children.

"Tanya, please enlighten me, if you would" Carlisle said calmly, his fingers back at his jaw. "How was it that you and your sisters were able to thwart Aro's talent? I am well aware of the fact that you were not persecuted due to your innocence. But, how was that even possible, when Aro can see everything with just one touch?"

"I let him see what I wanted him to see," she mumbled, looking away, and my jaw dropped.

"Excuse me?" I asked. "What the fuck does that mean?"

"Yes, would you care to elaborate a little? Perhaps you can humor _me_?" Edward asked, suddenly interested.

Tanya eyes saddened, as she played with her hands. "Me and my sisters, we have _slight_ shielding capabilities. We can sometimes block out certain things, let you see what we want you to see. It requires way too much work though, and our shields slip easily with distraction, so we don't use them and haven't used them since that day with Aro. My mother…unfortunately didn't even try."

I was shocked, as was Carlisle, our faces showing it. All the pieces were coming together. Azrael's obvious seductive prowess, and shielding capabilities had been passed somehow down to Tanya– or anyone he turned it appeared –which only meant that because Edward was _literally_ biologically his, he too would possess the same intense powers, if not more.

_That's explains so much…_

"Edward, you're a shield," I said, amazed, like all the questions of the world had just been answered.

"Tell me something I don't already know, okay? I've already had this conversation with Jasper."

"Wait, you _did_? When, where the hell was I?" I asked, extremely confused, my vision clouding red. His curt replies and obnoxious behavior were beginning to take its toll; requiring me to literally bite my tongue with every word he vomited.

"My first day of school, when I first met your brothers. Jasper knew the moment he met me what I was."

"He _WHAT_?" I yelled, slamming my fists into the table below, cracking the thick wood with ease. "Why wasn't I fucking told?" he shrugged. "So, they knew about you…and what you were this whole fucking time?" I asked, incredulous.

"Enough, Bella," Carlisle warned. "Save this discussion for another time. Right now there are other matters that need to be dealt with."

"I almost fucking killed you…no, let me rephrase that. I was _going_ to kill you- you along with the rest of those god forsaken children in that classroom. So much could have been avoided…"

"Bella, _please_, sit down," Carlisle plead. Edward only stared at me- his thick mask in place.

I bit my lip, sitting back down beside Edward, my leg bouncing excitedly from my frustration, my fists clenching and unclenching with the need to hit something- _someone_- Edward as my punching bag was looking mighty enticing at the moment.

I tried to recall my siblings being secretive, any time in the past few months where they may have blocked me from their thoughts…but came up with nothing.

_Am I losing my gift?_ I thought, almost happy with the prospect.

…_We must protect him. He's family now…_Carlisle's errant thoughts helped remind me that I could only be so lucky.

"We need to make sure the Volturi never learn of you, Edward, or what you are. _Especially_ your ability to shield," Carlisle said, addressing Edward directly, though I knew his words were meant for Tanya and me as well, and would be repeated later for the rest of our family. "I also think you should discuss this with Chief Masen–inform him of this new information, I am sure he will want to be aware…just in case."

"I'll let my uncle know, I always do," Edward replied curtly.

"Your _uncle_?" my mouth was permanently agape from all the shit I had just heard. "Why the fuck is it, that I am the last one to know anything?"

_Who are these fucking people?_

"Bella, please. You don't need to get all melodramatic. I was going to tell you, but we've been a _little_ busy," Edward snapped, rising from his seat.

"Where are you going, _now_?" I asked, my arm reaching for his as he began to walk away.

"I'm hungry, I haven't had a decent meal in weeks, I'm sure _you_ out of all people can empathize," he retorted.

_What an asshole!_

"Edward," Carlisle called, reaching in his pocket to pull out his phone. "Wait, let me call Rosalie, I am sure she wouldn't mind cooking you a nice warm meal," he offered.

"Thank you…but no. I need a _real_ meal."

"A real meal, as in _blood_?" I questioned, unsure as to what exactly would constitute as a real meal to Edward considering I only ever seen him drink a soda, and from me.

"Yes, Bella," he chided. "Now may I go?" he gestured towards the door, rolling his eyes.

"Are you intentionally trying to get a rise out of me, Edward? Do you want us to fight, because I really don't think that that is what you want, or maybe I'm wrong? Maybe I don't know what you want." I was bewildered, the expression on his face one I had yet to see. He looked as though he could care less. Care less about me, the Volturi, everything and anything we had just discussed. "What's the fuck is _wrong_ with you?" I whispered, grabbing his arm again, pulling his face down to mine.

"This," he whispered. "It's too much shit all at once, and I…I just can't deal with it right now. I need to feed before I make a rash decision, Bella. Please. Just let me go."

I knew what he meant by rash. He would take off. _Run_. Just like he had that day he had approached me in the parking lot at school, the same day he _couldn't_ take his own life. I knew that I needed to give him the space he asked for because if I didn't, there would be more space between us then I would be capable of tolerating, and most certainly it would be permanent

"Fine," I whispered, releasing the grip I held on his forearm, slowly letting my fingertips trail over his warm skin as I pulled them away. I looked away, already feeling the distance, the knot in my stomach tightening with unease.

Before Edward could exit the room Carlisle was at his side. "Hey, Edward," Carlisle stepped in, always the peacekeeper. "I could use a good hunt too," he rubbed his stomach. "How about we all go? Emmett told me the other day that he had spotted some mountain lion not too far north of here-"

"Carlisle, I don't think little Eddie here is talking about animal blood," Tanya joked.

"Do not call me Eddie," Edward spat, and then turned to Carlisle, his demeanor calm once more. "Tanya is right, though. I'm sorry…I've never- but," he groaned in defeat, looking at me with his somber green eyes, before taking a heavy breath and releasing it before speaking again, "I'll try."

* * *

I stayed behind with Tanya, allowing Carlisle and Edward to walk ahead of us- Carlisle leading the way- as always, the patriarch.

…_It hurt's…_Tanya thought sadly, grabbing my arm, forcing me to slow my pace.

"What does?" I asked, as Carlisle and Edward made their way towards the edge of the forest before disappearing behind its thick shrubbery.

"Seeing him, your Edward," she nodded towards the tall lean man that was delving deeper into the woods beside Carlisle. My mouth pooled with venom as each step Edward took caused the wind to pick up his scent, bringing it to me and dangling it beneath my nose tauntingly. I swallowed hard, my eyes getting lost on the movement of his flimsy cotton shirt as it clung to the contours of his back muscles. I would have continued to stare if not for Tanya's presence, and words, dragging me from my musings."Bella, he reminds me so much of Azrael. His demeanor, his voice, even his scent is similar-"

"Edward is not Azrael," I glaringly assured her. "You'll be wise to remember that." I knew Tanya would never mistake the two, but my possessive side refused to believe that- certain that one momentary lapse of judgment, or neglect, would be all it took for Tanya to dive right in, staking her claim on what was rightfully mine.

Tanya gasped, stopping. "Bella, I would never."

"It's obvious you loved Azrael, do you still?" I asked, diverting the attention away from Edward.

"I never stopped," she shrugged, looking at her feet as we briskly walked. "He was my everything. I would have settled down for him, and he knew it," her eyes roamed back over towards where Edward and Carlisle held their own private conversation.

"Were you his-"

"Only mate?" she finished my thought. "Yes. My sisters and mother weren't the slightest bit interested in him like that. Besides, he only wanted me…or so I thought. But I wasn't enough, I could never have been enough," she sighed, her eyes following the tree line above. "Human females empowered him. They willingly handed themselves over to him, and he absorbed everything they had to offer. They were his drug, his sustenance. He needed them for his survival."

_I knew the feeling, all too well…_

Tanya's thoughts became riddled with the memory of her love lost, and I felt completely responsible for her current state of distress. "You know you and Edward," I said. "You're both _eerily_ similar."

Changing the subject seemed the best way to go. "Yeah, how so?" she laughed, my plan already working.

"Well, for one, you're both stubborn as shit," she nodded in agreement. "And two, you're both amazingly talented at dazzling those of the opposite sex."

"Hmm, I wonder if it's a trait we both inherited. I will say this, though. Azrael was known for his ability to compel those around him. There were times where he would do it to me, unknowingly, like he had no control, like it just occurred naturally or some shit. That could maybe explain why you had such a hard time thinking clearly around Edward- _especially_ in the beginning. It's obvious he was blessed with the same gift."

"It wouldn't surprise me, and it definitely makes sense." And it did. Edward was gifted, I knew that. But besides his vampiric abilities he was beautiful, and sexy, vulnerable, and controlling allat the same time…but most importantly he was _mine_, and wanted to be mine.

Edward may be possessive, but I _wanted_ it that way. I _needed_ it that way. It kept me in check, kept me level headed. I wanted nothing more than his complete, utter possession over me. I needed it, more than I needed the saccharine blood that rant rampant through his body. Without Edward…I would be empty, a hollow shell. Edward was _my_ everything. He was my life, my mate, the air around me, the sun in the sky…my soul. I would die for him…I would _kill_…

The rough, vibration of my phone in my pocket pulled me from my thoughts- breaking the fog that clouded my cognizance with nothing _but_ Edward. With a sigh I pulled it out, not surprised at all to see Alice's name flash across the miniscule screen.

_Déjà-fucking-vu?_

"Hey, Alice. What's up?"

"Bella, where are you?" she asked, her words forced and rushed.

"A little north of the house, why?"

"I didn't see –I couldn't tell," she whispered. I could hear the crunch of the brittle leaves beneath her feet, and the whoosh of air furiously grazing the mouth piece of her phone as she ran.

"Didn't see what, Alice? Fuck, you know I hate when you pull this vagueness bullshit," I huffed.

"He was traveling much quicker than I thought. I was wrong," she murmured. "I'm so sorry, Bella."

"Who, Alice? God damn it, Alice. _Who?"_ I hated having these one sided conversations with my sister, but knew that eventually she would get to the important part.

"James."

_And there it was._

The mere mention of his name caused the unneeded breath I held to get caught in my throat, and my feet froze mid-step immediately after. "He must have caught Edward's scent in the woods, and tracked him back to our house…he's hunting him, Bella, James is hunting Edward," she breathed, panic clear in her tone. I could envision the look upon her face: wide eyes, blank stare, as her vision assaulted her.

"Fuck, how soon?" I asked placing the call on speaker, Edward and Carlisle now beside me. I turned towards Edward, intense concentration crossed his face.

"Less than five-minutes," she paused. "Wait, no…three-minutes."

"Three minutes," Edward sneered. "Let him fucking come-"

"Bella," Alice continued, interrupting the beginning ramblings of Edward's rage. "He's not alone, he is with two others, and they're all _very_ curious."

Carlisle scowled, his lips puckered, brow deeply etched as he contemplated Alice's words. "Thank you, Alice," he said coolly before taking the phone from my hand and ending the call, but not before she informed us of her, Jasper, Emmett, and Rosalie's arrival time.

"All right, then. It appears our meals will have to wait until later," Carlisle stated, trying to ease the tension that lay thick around us. "Let us start making our way back home, but not directly. I'd like us to go a little east first, and then make our way south. I think we may be able to prolong our meeting if we deviate a little from our normal paths."

"I agree," Edward stated before Carlisle spoke again.

"I do _not_ want to lead James and his small coven directly to our front door," Carlisle began speaking rapidly, our time running out. I checked to see that Edward had understood, his nod and tightly scowled features told me that he indeed had.

Carlisle looked around quickly, assessing our surroundings once more before taking off. As he ran, Tanya, Edward, and I, flanked him. His thoughts were erratic- uncertain of James' intentions. "Bella, Tanya?" he called, his voice coated with coolness. "You are both to guard, Edward. Do you understand?"

"Yes," we both replied, in sync. Of course I would guard my mate. That shouldn't even be a question, but automatically expected. But I knew that it was for Carlisle's reassurance. He needed to make sure that we were all on the same page if and when shit went down.  
"With all due respect, Carlisle, I can guard myself," Edward stated firmly.

"Yes, I am completely aware of that, Edward. And, by no means am I trying to insinuate that your capabilities of defending yourself are lacking. I just feel that until we can gauge James' intention…it is best you remain passive, at least till the others arrive…Jasper especially," Carlisle finished, his silent thoughts still full of concern.

"Stay still and quiet, Edward, _please_," I pleaded, biting my lip nervously. I stopped running, the others doing the same, their eyes full of confusion. There was no reason to continue to run. James would track us regardless, of that much I was certain.

"Bella, we should go," Tanya urged, placing her hand on my lower back as I stared at Edward. She tried to usher my movement but instead I stood firm. That was till Edward closed the distance between us in one fluid motion, his hands coming up quickly, cupping my cheeks as he pressed his forehead against my own. His heavy panting washed warm breaths against my cool skin, and I inhaled rapidly- nearly hyperventilating - so that I could breathe in and absorb as much of him as possible, unsure of when I would be able to do so again.

I didn't know what was to happen, but I just knew that whatever it was wouldn't be good. I didn't feel right. A sense of dread was quickly building in my gut, rattling my nerves. Edward saw this, his eyes saw right through me. "Don't move from my side, don't move at all," I said, looking up into his eyes. They were feral, like a lion's, gleaming in the near dusk of the day. "Maybe he won't smell you," I whispered, trying to reassure myself.

Unlike me and my family, I was certain James did _not_ hunt animals- a part of me just knew. I was also certain that Edward's scent was unlike any other humans, and if I reacted to it the way I had, I was sure other vampires who didn't share the same appetite as me and my family would act the same- easily giving into to their natural instinct and hunger.

"It won't help," Tanya said softly, "Edward's scent is too strong. I smelled him before you both had even entered the house earlier."

"Fuck, I know," I stammered.

"This is absolutely ridiculous," Edward shouted, his knuckles so pale from constriction. "You all seem to think that I am some fragile human. That I am made of glass or some shit. Don't you think that maybe I have had a few run-ins with other vampires during my screwed up existence?" he paced, "I have fought, killed-"

Edward's breathing stopped, his eyes, along with my own zeroing in on the muted sounds coming from slightly north of where we stood. Edward instinctually took a step, angling his body between me and what was heading our way, but Tanya and I repositioned our bodies so that he couldn't.

"Can you hear him, Bella, can you hear, James?" Carlisle whispered, asking aloud instead of in thought out of respect for Tanya and Edward.

I eyed Carlisle surreptitiously, before putting all my attention on the internal voice of a man, or the ghost of a man, I have diligently tried to erase from my memory for nearly six decades. It didn't take long for my mind to become bombarded with the distinct and familiar tone of James, and his two companions. James' internal voice was more dominant, as it superseded the other male, and the female he travelled with.

"Yes," I finally answered Carlisle, my expression pained.

Edward sensed my struggle, and gently placed a chaste kiss upon my cheek, before running his soft lips over my ear. "We're in this together now…remember that."

"What is he thinking?" Tanya asked, and I pulled away from Edward, my body fraught with emotion.

"He…he's thirsty," I replied, the vision of James licking his lips as Edward's scent enticed him to where we stood. The image made venom pool in my mouth, and a low snarl escaped my lips.

"Well isn't that funny," Edward laughed cynically, a devilish smirk spread across his face, eyes full of malice as he licked his lips with want. "…so am I."

* * *

So...any ideas as to whats going to happen in the forseeable future?

As always I'd love to hear from you all. My birthday is this Thursday...the **BIG 3-0**...how about we get this sucker up to **100 **reviws in celebration...sound good?

Come **play with me **on the Twilighted forum or on Facebook...**LINKS **on my profile. **Banners **for each chapter can be seen on my **Facebook **page.


	12. Chapter 12: Uninvited

I apologize for the update delay...things should be back on schedule now =)

**HUGE **thank you to **csp4 **for being my **100th review**!

Hello to all my new readers and **THANK YOU **to everyone that continues to read, review and add this little story to your fav's. Your support means so much.

So my beta, **ShamelesslyObsessed **says this is good to go. My wifey, **queenxochitl **says I still got it, and I am a **cliffie-whore**...what do you guys think?,

**NOTE: PLEASE READ EXPLANATION OF THIS CHAPTER AT THE END...thank you.**

* * *

_"I've become  
impossible  
holding on to when  
when everything seemed to matter more  
the two of us  
all used and beaten up  
watching fate as it flows  
down the path we have chose _

you and me  
we're in this together now  
none of them can stop us now  
we will make it through somehow  
you and me  
if the world should break in two  
until the very end of me  
until the very end of you…

…_the farther I fall I'm beside you  
as lost as I get I will find you  
the deeper the wound I'm inside you  
for ever and ever I am a part of… _

you and me  
we're in this together now  
none of them can stop us now  
we will make it through somehow  
you and me  
even after everything  
you're the queen and I'm the king  
nothing else means anything."

_**We're in This Together: Nine Inch Nails**_

* * *

**12. Uninvited**

_Thump. Thump. Thump. Thump._

The rapid crescendo of Edward's heart beat was the only sound surrounding me, Carlisle, and Tanya, as we stood in the near darkened forest- James and his coven of two closing in.

In the near distance, the muted sounds of the three rogue vampires increased as the crunch from the dead, brittle leaves beneath them signaled their arrival. As their figures became visible, the atmosphere surrounding us shifted- the uncertainty so thick I could taste it on my tongue.

"Do you smell that?" Edward, who had once been steadfast in the spot beside me asked. He was now slowly slipping his sinewy frame to stand behind me- a position he had refused only moments before to take. I dared not turn my head to look at him, or question his motives, needing all my senses to remain fixated and acute on the gangly, dirty-blonde man that now stood less than one-hundred feet before me.

"Yes," I breathed, inhaling the scents around me. I could clearly make out the two distinct scents of the male and female that stood beside James. Their own fragrance replicated James, their maker. James still carried the same woodsy clove aroma that I recalled from when he was human…but there was something more…something feminine that wrapped around him…something I hadn't caught that first night he awoke from the change- as I was too wrapped up in the turmoil of what had transpired.

From the distance the scent was light, floral- the cool autumn breeze only giving me a taste. "He doesn't smell like you, Bella," Edward chided quietly, not bothering to conceal the mirth in his tone. I didn't answer Edward but was well aware of the fact that James did _not_ carry my scent…me his supposed maker…or so I had thought.

It was a well known fact amongst vampires that each and every one of us carried a distinct scent…a marking…something that would stay with us for all eternity as a reminder of exactly _who_ we belonged to…who gave us our immortality, our life. I carried Carlisle's, Tanya carried Azrael's, her scent sweet and slightly similar to Edward's but not as potent. And James…well James was carrying Esme's.

_Fuck, I've been so naïve…_

Without thought I looked at Carlisle and Tanya, noticing that they too had caught this detail as well. Carlisle's eyes were wide; near enraged as his nostrils flared, breathing in heavy doses of the air as James came near, the floral perfume that was all Esme thickening around us.

…_Oh my god. It was her all along…_Tanya thought with astonishment as she took the chance to glance at Carlisle before returning her gaze on James' small coven.

It was now more than evident to me, as well as Tanya, just as to whose venom had clearly turned James so many years ago. I knew Carlisle was no stranger to the familiar bouquet of pheromones that shrouded Esme's being, and I was certain that as James practically dangled it beneath Carlisle's nose, Carlisle would never deny who was responsible for the vampire before us then...and most likely now.

…_Her scent…it's strong, she's been near him recently…_Carlisle thought, unable to think her name, before going over the last few days events in his mind. He was trying to remember a time where Esme may have knowingly deceived him.

…_God, all the times I wasn't home, or I had to go away for business…she's had plenty of opportunity to be unfaithful, deceitful…_he continued mentally but I dared not speak aloud, not wanting to make James aware of our new found knowledge. However, I found myself still scanning Carlisle's thoughts but coming up empty- too many black holes, too many distractions- his thoughts too erratic.

I turned to James, trying to tune into his internal voice once more, as well as his brood, but was unable to as Carlisle's recollections of his and Esme's past began screaming at me from his mind. A continuous slew of mumbled emotions, conglomerated together attacked me, overriding everyone else's thoughts surrounding me.

_Fuck my head hurts._

Vaguely I could see the minute details he and Esme had ever spent with one another, before he began questioning every word or promise she had ever made to him. The last memory that haphazardly swept through his mind was the night James was bitten. The night Esme had attacked him, apparently injecting enough venom for James' transformation to take place.

_And to think…all these years…I fucking blamed myself…I thought it was me that gave him that final dose…_

My heart ached for Carlisle as I watched James proceed closer. I knew that eventually we would discuss this, but now was not the time, nor the place.

It was glaringly obvious who lead this small coven as James made sure to orient his body in such a manner so that a dark-haired man followed on one side, and a startling red-head flanked the other.

Instinctively, Tanya, and Carlisle sidled closer to my side, all three of us now a protective barricade for Edward behind us. Our sudden change of position caused James to halt. His eyes were alight with questions, though his body was charged with the prospect of a challenge.

I tried to focus on the vampire before me, and the partial one behind me, but my mind decided to go back to not so long ago after I had bitten Edward for the first time. His words now repeating like a broken record within my own cognizance, _"Your venom…it's sterile or some shit."_

_Shit, he was right. I'm fucking defective_, I thought glumly.

"Bella," Edward whispered sternly, nudging me roughly in the back with his clenched knuckles, as if knowing I was lost in my own thoughts. His touch snapped me back to where I needed to be the most, here.

Dejectedly, I made eye contact with James, unable to withhold the chill that ran up my spine as his head tilted slightly to the side, a smile creeping over his blood tinged lips.

His features were no different than the last time I had seen him; clean lines and narrow eyes still a disturbing deep burgundy. His hair was pulled back, as was his habit. His feet were bare, and his clothes worn and frayed from travel. James was nomadic as a human so his appearance before me now came as no surprise.

…_Well, well, well…_James finally thought, head still tilted, as Edward moved forward- pressing his chest gently against my back. I could feel Edward's heat, his life, radiate through our clothes. His heartbeat, strong, and unwavering pulsed against my back, reverberating through my hollow frame, assuring me of his presence.

"Do you trust me?" Edward asked; his body unnoticeably bent as his warm breath careened over the shell of my outer ear in a placid whisper. I could feel his lips teasingly graze the sensitive skin there as he spoke, causing my body to shudder with an untimely desire.

Breathlessly, I replied, "yessss."

Before Edward retreated, he spoke once more, quickly and subdued- his words a haunting reminder of the fragility of all of us, not just him alone. "Good …until we meet again, love," he said before placing a chaste kiss on the tender flesh right below my ear.

My body shook as his warmth subsided, my phantom heart constricting with his absence, and a fear like no other crept its way up my spine. I shook my head, trying to clear it of its fog as I focused once more on the three vampires before me.

"Carlisle, Tanya…_Isabella_," James nodded in greeting, still keeping his distance. "Funny, I never thought we would meet again."

"Well, the world is only so big James. It was bound to happen sooner or later…_unfortunately_," Tanya snipped, causing James to allow his head to fall back, releasing a sarcastic snicker.

"Ah, Tanya, you were always the amusing one…weren't _you_?" he asked sharply, eyes narrowed at her. "I see you are still without a mate. Why is that dear, Tanya?" James prodded, his tenor voice generic, like one heard in a luxury car commercial. "_What_? Cat got your tongue?"

Tanya scowled, while a low rumble could be heard rising up her chest. "Fuck off, James," she retorted.

"Well, James," Carlisle said stepping forward, _not_ offering his hand. "It has definitely been quite some time since our last meeting." I could see the tension in Carlisle's jaw as he spoke. He was trying to keep a cool façade but it was slowly slipping.

"I don't need the reminder, Carlisle. I'm not here to reminisce," James said, glaring first at Carlisle then me.

"Well let me get this out of the way, then. I am not quite sure as to what has brought you to this area," Carlisle continued, ignoring James' glare, "but I am certain you have not forgotten mine and _my_ family's preferred diet. So please, if you and your coven plan to be here for a while I must ask that you refrain from hunting in this immediate area. We keep residence here and-"

The three of them laughed, interrupting Carlisle, the red head seemingly more amused than the others.

…_Assholes…_Carlisle thought, and my jaw fell slightly open with his use of expletive.

"Oh, that's right. How could I have possibly forgotten?" James mocked, walking closer, eyes still fixed on me. "The _perfect_ Cullen's consider themselves to be '_vegetarians_,'" he ridiculed, creating quotation marks with his fingers. "Though…from the looks of _him_," he pointed directly passed me right at Edward, "it looks like that diet has been forgone…has one of you fallen off the wagon…_Isabella_?" he taunted.

Quickly, I chanced a glance at Edward, only to find him with his head bowed, eyes on the ground below him, and his hands stuffed deep into the pockets of his jeans. Shocked at his submissive stature, I tried to get him to look at me but he refused, shaking his head like a frightened child, his body cowering and flinching as I reached a tentative hand towards him.

"Edward?" I asked, before pulling my hand away. He looked vulnerable…completely _human_.

_Oooooh_.

"Aw, he's scared, Isabella. Well, he should be," James snipped, stepping closer. "And look at _you_, still so sweet, Isabella. Still so…_atten-tive_," he enunciated, his body now only a few feet from where I stood, slowly advancing.

"Oh," he said, stopping right before me, nostrils flaring as he picked up mine and Edward's mingled scent in the breeze. "What's _this_?" he exclaimed in surprise, eyes blackening as he looked Edward over reaching out past my shoulder to touch him. "I can see why you're so caring of this human," he said, feigning interest as he licked his lips. "I was right, he does smell _absolutely_ delectable. Come now, Isabella, why not let me have a taste…for old time's sake, hmm?" James' eyebrows rose suggestively as his finger touched the thickened crescent scar upon Edward's neck…my mark.

Out of nowhere a feral snarl ripped from my throat as I slapped James' outstretched hand away, immediately crouching before Edward, one hand gripped around his warm forearm. "Don't you ever fucking touch him again, James, I'm warning you. There will be no _tasting_ of anyone, understand?" I hissed, taking a step back, my free arm outstretched to block access to the man behind me. I knew that James' intimate gesture was more than just curiosity; it was a threat, something to not be taken lightly.

James took another step forward, his eyes remaining on the prize. "Oh…I see," he said soothingly before gripping my chin within his fingers. I remained calm, relaxed, unwilling to show any weakness or sign of faltering. I could smell the fresh droplets of my own venom infused with Edward's blood as his nails pierced the flesh beneath them. Edward remained motionless behind me but his body was taut, a wound coil ready to unravel at any given second.

…_Mmmm, yes. I can see why you would want him all to yourself..._James thought, as the combined scent of mine and Edward's fluids permeated the air, barely covering the smell of our earlier sex. Though, as James' body hovered above me, his nostrils wide, eyes roaming over my body; mine and Edward's flagrant sexual essence became much more evident.

"You're fucking _him_?" he snarled incredulously. "You're fucking the _pathetic_ human!"

I went to move back but was quickly held in place by his strong grip on my arm; his other hand still clenched around my chin.

…_Don't fight, Bella. It's what he wants…_Carlisle thought, and I steadied myself.

"James," Carlisle called, "Edward is with us. He is family, and we will protect our family," he warned, changing the subject of sex as he placed a firm hand upon James' chest, his gaze fixed and piercing.

James released a maniacal laugh, "family?" he guffawed. "I was family too, remember? Look at how well you protected me." He pointed to himself in disgust, finally releasing his grip from my chin.

"_Wait,_" the dark haired man suddenly spoke as James pushed Carlisle's hand away, though his position never retreated. "You consider your snack to be family?" the dark-haired man asked, pointing at Edward with bewilderment, his Parisian accent thick. "Please understand this is new to me. I've never seen a coven of vampires travel with a _human_ snack, especially one that is referred to as family. Aren't you the least bit concerned?" he mused at Carlisle.

Carlisle sighed and was prepared to answer but James did it for him.

"Hah, do not let them fool you Laurent. This…_Edward_ here," James said, waving his hand dismissively in Edward's direction, "is merely a pet. A _new_ pet, isn't that right, Isabella?"

"Fuck you, James," I growled, my lips curling to reveal my teeth.

"But…he's _human_," the dark-haired man who James referred to as Laurent protested, still astounded.

"Yes. Yes he is, Laurent. And do you want to know why that is?" James asked, and like a child Laurent shook his head emphatically, while everyone else remained silent. "Because that is how Isabella prefers them. Right, love?" he spat, venom spraying from his mouth as his eyes darkened with anger, his body near pressed against the front of mine.

I could feel Carlisle's grip on my arm as he tried to pull me away from James. "Alright, I've seen and heard enough. Bella, take Edward and head back home, ok? Tanya and I will meet you there shortly."

"Home?" the red-head whispered with confusion, her eyes darting from Laurent to Carlisle.

…_They have a home? _She thought silently, confused.

"Come on, Edward," I said, reaching behind me, grabbing the warm flesh of his forearm. But as I did James stepped forward, leaving no space between us as he firmly pressed himself against me.

Edward's whole body went rigid and began to shake with rage, a gesture James would no doubt mistake for fear. I went still, statuesque, as James breathed down upon me, his forehead pushing forcibly into my own.

"You will leave when I say you can leave. And right now I say you are staying, understood?"

"Yes, James," I agreed, knowing that it was the only way to avoid further confrontation until my siblings arrived.

I kept my hand firmly grasped around Edward's, refusing to let him go as I leered at James, his nostrils opening and closing as he breathed me in, his mind furiously envisioning me and Edward being intimate.

"You never answered me, Isabella, and nor do I expect you to. But don't think for one second that I can't _smell_ you all over him you…you fucking slut. You should be ashamed…embarrassed," he barked. "I could smell you from a mile away. At first it was _his_ scent that caught me…pulled me in…but then…then I smelled _you_…"

…_And the sweet juices of your arousal…._

And just like that his mood shifted, as he grabbed my free arm and pulled my body against his. Growls emitted from around us as his hands roamed over the front of my body, Edward's the loudest but still not enough to break the trance James had with me as his palms roughly cupped and dug into my breasts.

"It is such a pity that I never was able to claim you like I wanted. It was always, _"no, James…your virtue"_ or, _"no, James…I can't lose control_," he mocked. "Tell me, Isabella. Do you think of me, do you picture _me_ as you fuck your little pet, there?" he pointed at Edward with his head before leaning in to whisper in my ear. "Tell me…it's my cock you imagine, isn't it?" he asked smugly.

I could hear my siblings beginning to emerge as the thicket around them bustled from the breeze of their movements. James' eyes were fixed on my own, still awaiting my answer, ignoring the company that had just arrived. "I will get the truth from you…eventually," he threatened with a smile.

"James…I…I think we should leave," the red-head suggested nervously as she looked around at the increase in vampires, none of which would fight on behalf of her small coven.

"Did I ask you to speak, Victoria?" James yelled, never breaking our eye contact. "I will go once I get a taste of what I want."

"Yeah, is that so?" Emmett chimed in, his arms crossed over his chest, a smile spread upon his boyish face as he brought himself to stand beside Carlisle, "and what exactly is it that you want a taste of?"

"Isabella's pet," James replied with certainty.

_Fucking liar. _

"Pfft, I highly doubt that's going to happen," Emmett muttered, though James paid no mind.

…_And after I am done with him. I am going to get a taste of you, my sweet, sweet, Isabella. All of you, every single drop…_he said to me silently, a mischievous grin spread across his face.

"Fuck you, James. You will never have Edward, or me," I said, outing his thoughts.

"Oh, silly Isabella," he cooed, trailing his fingertip down my cheek, his eyes black with malicious intent. "I will have you and your scared little pet, even if I have to dismember you in the process. Regardless…I will have _you_." He leaned in slowly before dragging his tongue over the same spot his fingertip had just been. "Mmmm…_delicious_…just as I remember-"

Suddenly, Edward yanked free from my grip, growling as he shoved James back. "Get your fucking hands off of her," he roared, panting heavily. James landed, startled, on the damp earth below just a few feet from where we stood; Edward's shove merely human in nature, only meant to surprise James, not make him aware of what he truly was up against.

Quickly, James rose to his feet, dusting the dampened leaves off his pants with his hands as he released a low chortle, his head shaking back and forth infinitesimally.

"Well, what do we have here?" James asked Edward playfully. Edward was now fully erect, back straight, and his chin held defiantly high as James began to circle him- like a vulture fixated on his soon to be dead prey. Edward remained calm, his eyes dark but not aglow as he wore his human façade like a badge of honor.

…_Watch him, Bella…_Jasper warned_…he is planning something…_ Every one of us; my siblings, and Carlisle included, were ready to attack. Though it would be my command, my words that would allow them to attack.

"_Isabella_," James gasped, "I am amazed. I was beginning to think your pet was without a voice. I almost questioned whether he was a mute." And with those last few words Edward was within James' grasp, his back held against James' chest as one of James' arms covered his heaving chest, the other palming his forehead holding him in place. I didn't even have time to see it before it happened, James' thoughts a black void to my ability.

"Tsk, Tsk, Isabella. You weren't prepared. You see," James said with clenched teeth, all his strength being used to hold Edward while he tried to break free. "I figured out how to keep you out of my thoughts if I _choose_ to, it's really not that difficult…I can even thwart your pesky little sister Alice's visions," he sneered at Alice as Jasper growled beside her.

"_Please_, Jasper," he scoffed, "do not act like you are above me. I see you're still following the old Cullen diet, huh? I really thought that by now you would have manned up...gone back to your roots. Guess I was wrong." James was silent for a moment as he mulled over his next words. "You know Jasper…it would really do you some good if you had a _real_ meal," he teased, "_here_…let me make this easy for you."

James' grabbed Edward by the hair and pushed him forward slightly, the other hand fisted in the cotton that covered Edward's back. He held Edward right before Jasper's snarling grin, offering him a taste. "_God_, you Cullen's and your will power...it's utterly pathetic. Come on, Jasper, I don't have all day. You know you want to. I'm sure Isabella could attest to his _taste. _Can't you, love?"

When Jasper didn't move, and I refused to answer, James' irritation intensified. "_Fine_," he huffed impatiently before kicking Edward hard in the back of his right knee. The crack of Edward's bones echoed off the forest walls, as Edward screamed in agony, his body floundering limply to the forest floor.

"Ugh, _fuck_," Edward groaned as his fingers curled into the wet dirt below, his body wincing in pain.

…_Why won't he fight back! What is he doing?_ Tanya thought frantically, and I could only shake my head, just as unsure as she was.

"You're playing dirty, James," Emmett said calmly, while I watched Edward's eyes blacken with rage.

…_He'll be okay, Bella. Focus…_Rosalie thought_…he can handle this, you know that…_

She was right, but I didn't have to like it.

"I play however _I_ want to play. _I_ make the rules. _Me_… no one else," James screamed at no one in particular while placing his hands on Edwards head. Edward whimpered quietly, his chest rising and falling rapidly as James gripped his hair, pulling him up into a kneeling position before cupping each side of his head, forcing Edward to look at me and my family.

"Go ahead, _Edward_. Tell Isabella how it hurts," he roughly pulled Edwards hair, pulling his head back, exposing his neck. "TELL HER! TELL HER!" he screamed, "TELL HER TO AVENGE _YOU_!"

Edward remained silent as James' hands slowly moved into a position I knew all too well; one inching its way towards Edward's chin, the other winding itself along with his forearm over Edward's forehead.

…_I'll snap his fucking neck, Isabella. WATCH ME…_he screamed at me silently.

"NO!" I screamed, moving forward with my palms up in surrender. "No, James. Take me, instead. You know that's what you really want. Come on..._please_…don't hurt Edward," I begged.

Edward pleaded with his eyes for me to stop, his lips mouthing the words _"trust me"_…but I couldn't. I knew that James really wanted me, not Edward. He wanted to harm me. Me, the one who allowed him to become this way. Me, the one who didn't protect him like I had promised. I wouldn't allow Edward to suffer because of me…and I certainly wouldn't allow him to die.

Without any thought James released Edward, throwing him to the floor like a rag doll, finding no further use for him. "He's no fun anyway, Isabella. He's doesn't have enough fight in him. You know I like a _little_ defiance, it makes the game so much more fun…Don't you think?" he asked grabbing me and wrapping one arm around my body, the other fisting itself into my hair. "Now you on the other hand, you always have some fight in you. Don't you, dear?"

James trailed his fingers over my stomach, languorously moving upward towards my neck. It was merely a pinch, a quickly passing discomfort as James sliced into the flesh of my neck with his finger nail. I pulled against the hand that was wrapped around my hair, tugging to no avail as James not so gently adhered his mouth to the open wound he had just created, suckling on the seeping fluid that escaped.

"Now this is so much better," he said, pulling away. "Edward over there and his incessant heart beat ruined my meal anyway…all that fucking adrenaline. It always does seem to lessen the quality, destroy the taste…don't you think, Isabella?"

I refused to answer as James returned to his suckling. He was no longer pulling the liquid from me, but licking; like a rabid dog, not letting anything go to waste.

All the while my eyes fixated on the only person I cared to speak to, the only man that I would sacrifice myself for. Edward's eyes had completely gone black, the white of his eyes completely non-existent. He appeared feral, _inhuman_, as his head hung slightly watching James through the thick cover of his lashes. Edward's lips formed a straight line, his fists tightly woven as Emmett and Jasper held him up, a crutch on either arm.

"Mmmm, Isabella, God, you taste divine. I want more…I must have more," James moaned, his hand roaming down my chest, stopping at the apex of my thighs as his head lifted to meet Edward's glare.

I could hear the possessive snarl leave Edward as he tried to fight free from Emmett and Jasper's grasp. Jasper leaned into Edward and whispered something in his ear, but Edward shook him away.

…_Tell him you're okay, Bella…_Jasper thought, giving me knowing eyes.

"Edward…_please_. I'm fine," I croaked as James' hand came up quickly, tightening around my throat, effectively cutting of my air supply needed to speak.

"James, this is ridiculous. Let her go…you've made your point," Rosalie said, her hand resting upon Edwards shoulder.

"Really, and what point is that pray tell?"

"That you're just as weak now as when you were human. I guess the transformation doesn't change _everything_," she retorted.

"Rose," I warned as James mumbled _"we'll see"_ in my ear.

I could feel the wave of calm emitting from Jasper, his last ditch feeble, yet brave attempt to deter James. But instead of doing what it should it merely angered James further.

"Come on, Jasper. Must you always interfere?" he asked, his fingers knotting further in my hair.

"Let's be honest, James," Jasper answered. "Be glad that this is all I'm doing." Both men hissed, though only Jasper stepped forward.

James began to laugh, as I tried to break free. "Jazz, don't…control yourself," I begged, knowing that Jasper's anger would only fuel James in the literal sense.

"Yes, little puppet. You _should_ listen. We wouldn't want anyone to get hurt, now would we?" Jasper retreated, his anger barely dulled. "Come now," James said, as he began to pull me in the direction opposite of my family. "Cullen's it's been wonderful. Let's do this again sometime, yes? Oh, and Edward," he stopped, "thanks for keeping her warm for me."

"You're a dead man," Edward hissed, lunging towards James and me, but only managing to land on the dirt due to his injury. His eyes burned with ferocity as he stared James down, his breathing heavy. "Where ever you go, James…make no mistake…I will find you. And when I do, I am going to kill you…_slowly_," he said with such affliction that my skin crawled.

James merely laughed, shrugging Edward's threat off. "I will watch you die trying. It will be a good show. I'm sure Isabella looks forward to it."

"Bella," Edward breathed, his eyes pained as James began pulling me away.

"Be safe," I pleaded.

James dragged me further and further away from my family, and as he did I concentrated on the melee of thoughts being thrown at me; listening eagerly to each lingering, and fading word.

…_Focus on James…it will allow me to see where he is taking you…you MUST focus on him, Bella, not Edward…_Alice thought.

…_Don't worry, Bella. He is already healing…_Carlisle added; referring to Edward's broken bones.

…_We'll find you, I promise…_Rosalie swore.

But it was Alice's final images that gave me some insight as to where James might be taking me; where my life, my immortality may possibly come to an end.

…_Dark…long mirrors, everywhere. Wooden floor…gold stripe across mirrors…_

It was at that moment that I wished Edward was able to read my mind, hear my thoughts. And though I knew without a doubt that he couldn't, still I acted as though he could as I projected my words to the empty air.

_Edward…look after my heart…I've left it with you. I love you. _

* * *

I know you were all expecting the big fight scene...I **PROMISE **that will be next chapter ;)

**I have received alot of reviews questioning why I did what I did this chapter. Why didnt Bella or Edward fight back? Why didnt the Cullens attack when clearly James and his coven were outnumbered? The explanation I have given to everyone, I have decided to leave here as well. **

**Bella only has to tell her family to attack, and they will. But...if she does so she risks Edward's safety, possibly his life. When James went to snap Edward's neck that kind of put everything into perspective for Bella. She does not know the extent of Edward's strength, that is something she will see first hand next chapter. Edward...he could have fought back but his plan was to fool James into making sure he believed he is human. This gives Edward the upper hand and will allow him to be able to blind-side James later. James still believes Edward is human, he knows no different...but that will change come next chapter. As always, like canon, Bella remains stubborn. Though she now knows that Esme is truly responsible for James' transformation, she still harbors guilt- and that is why she is willingly sacrificing herself. That, and because she doesnt want Edward to be punished for her mistakes. Things need to occur in this way so that other events can take place. I do hope this help explains a little better as to why I chose to do things in this manner. I do hope you will all contuinue to read MD. I ask that you trust me, I promise there is a reason for everything I do. **

If you have questions or would like to leave me some love go right ahead 3


	13. Chapter 13: Checkmate

**Happy belated birthday to my amazing beta, ShamelesslyObsessed, I love ya!**

**Also, queenxochitl, I love you girl ;)**

**Many of you that reviewed last chapter, felt that there should be both edward and Bella's POV this chapter...hope I make you proud! **

**Now...without further ado, I bring you the fight scene :))**

* * *

_"I beat my machine,_  
_it's a part of me,_  
_it's inside of me._  
_I'm stuck in this dream,_  
_it's changing me,_  
_I am becoming. _

_The me that you know_  
_he had some second thoughts_  
_he's covered with scabs_  
_he is broken and sore._  
_The me that you know_  
_he doesn't come around much_  
_that part of me_  
_isn't here anymore._

_All pain disappears_  
_it's the nature of_  
_of my circuitry._  
_Drowns out all I hear_  
_no escape from this_  
_my new consciousness._

_The me that you know_  
_he used to have feelings_  
_but the blood has stopped pumping_  
_and he is left to decay._  
_The me that you know_  
_is now made up of wires_  
_and even when I'm right with you_  
_I'm so far away._

_I can try to get away_  
_but I've strapped myself in._  
_I can try to scratch away_  
_the sound in my ears._  
_I can see it killing away_  
_all of my bad parts._  
_I don't want to listen._  
_But it's all too clear._

_Won't give up it wants me dead_  
_God damn this noise inside my head…"_

_**The Becoming: Nine Inch Nails**_

* * *

**13. Checkmate**

_**~Bella's Point Of View~**_

We travelled north, then east. James' unrelenting grip ever present on the back of my neck, his grimy nails anchored deep into my flesh. He kept his mind as black as coal, an abyss of nothingness, denying me the smallest pleasure of hearing his thoughts.

I continued to walk, _willingly_, stead-fast in my decision to sacrifice myself, knowing that I did not possess the strength to take on James, let alone him and two other human fed vampires. But it was a decision I had to make. I could not risk Edward. I refused to risk another human's life, even if only partial, for my own selfish desires.

I knew my family didn't understand my logic, and Edward I am fucking _positive_ felt betrayed. But there was no other option…it would have only taken the flick of James' wrist…one miniscule movement…and Edward would have been gone- my venom unable to save him, anyone's venom for that matter.

I tried to rationalize my judgment as we trekked through the woods, our gait quick but still lethargic. It was as though our slow travel time was intentional, but again I had no way of knowing. James' mental silence and the unsubstantial internal ramblings of his cohorts did nothing but fuel my frustration; leaving me unable to solidify any decision that may assist Alice in finding me.

I clearly had no idea what James' intentions were, but I was certain they weren't innocent. So as he led me to what I presumed was my execution, I merely tried to remain focused. Focused on my surroundings, and any tidbit of information that may escape his thoughts.

Not too long into our journey I was pulled from my own musings by a very impatient, Victoria. She, like me, was unaware of our destination and was about to make that discomfort known, aloud. She leaned her body into Laurent, ready to begin her rant, when he quietly embraced her; placing his arm around her lean frame so that he could whisper sweet endearments into her ear. They were obvious lovers. Laurent ran his fingers through the thick red curls that hung down Victoria's back as she glared at James. James' disapproval of their relationship evident as he watched them from his periphery; grimacing and rolling his eyes in contempt at their public display of affection.

I knew James could hear them, just as clear as I could as Laurent quietly persuaded Victoria to agree _not_ to question James as to where he was taking them. He pleaded with her that James was their leader and should be respected. She didn't agree; verbally or mentally. I continued to listen to their words of discomfort as they became hidden thoughts; though Laurent's were much more subdued.

…_I want no part of this. I will not have her death on my hands…_Victoria thought silently as she turned to look at me, her eyes filled with distress. Her refusal to be near me, along with the constant fucking pity party she was throwing me, was proof enough that she meant me no harm.

I knew from the thick darkness that shrouded us, and from the nocturnal song exuding from the forests occupants that we were far enough now from my family for me to finally speak.

"Stop," I stated firmly, causing a soundless yet deep-in-thought James to collide into my back. "I have something to say, and I am going to fucking say it."

James came around to my front, his hand finally releasing my neck. His eyes dark, a liquid tar in the pale of night. He held his arms at his side, fists woven but prepared for defense.

…_Please, please don't fight him…_Victoria plead with me silently. I ignored her cry and glared up at James' leering frame.

"I was beginning to wonder when you'd finally speak up. Say what you need to say," he spat. "We have somewhere to be…and I really do not have the time-"

"Shut the fuck up, James," I hissed, stepping into him, my index finger pointed upward in his face. "Before we go any further, let's just get one thing clear. I am coming with you because I _chose_ to fucking come with you."

"Really, is that so?"

"What other reason would there be? I could have _easily_ had my family tear you _and_ your sorry ass coven to shreds back there." He looked at me amused while Victoria thanked me silently. "But you see, James…I didn't."

"And why is that exactly, Isabella?" he asked with false intrigue. "Why so willing…why not just let me take your pet? Why sacrifice yourself?"

_Because, I am a glutton for fucking punishment, that and the immense guilt that's weighed me down…Oh, and let's not forget love…_

"Listen, asshole…you've already dug your grave…but I'll play this game with you if that's what you want. But know this, wherever you take me…my family will find out…_Edward_ will find out. And when he does, James, he is going to rip your fucking head off."

"Oh, is that so? I find that hard to believe," he laughed. "Will Jasper be holding his hand? I am sure the Volturi would just _love_ to learn of a human that was assisted in killing a vampire. But, on the other hand…I do love a good show. I am sure that had I not destroyed poor, pathetic Edward's leg he'd give a good one. It's really too bad. But you know how those pesky humans are, Isabella, so frail…so _weak_. They really are only good for one thing, and one thing only…_sustenance_."

"You've opened Pandora's Box, James, you really have no clue," I whispered, shaking my head.

"Wait…_Oh_, now I see. Not only are you fucking the human but you have gone and fallen in love with him too. Isabella…I'm utterly disappointed. Won't you ever learn?" He let out a bellying laugh as he held his stomach in mock pain.

"Hmmm," he stopped suddenly, narrowing his eyes to a scrutinizing stare. "This could be a problem," he muttered before his face contorted into a ferocious grin.

The laughter that had once been airy had now turned sinister as he reached his open palm up and back, releasing it with ease to slap my face. My head turned from the impact, a snarl ripping past my lips as I gripped his shirt and held him before me, the hand he had only just slapped me with already fisted and pulling on my hair, yanking my head back.

"You put too much faith…and _love_… into your human pets, Isabella," he said. "Your Edward is going to die…just like you." He pulled my head close so that his face rest right before mine. The smell of cloves wafted from his lips as he opened his mouth to speak. "I'm going to enjoy watching you burn…seeing you suffer. Just like you watched me…just like you did nothing, I will do nothing."

I stood there, mouth agape, guilt ridden for the last time as a fire storm of epic fucking proportions washed over me. I could no longer allow my past to haunt me, or James to haunt me. This had to end now…here. Quickly, I swallowed the venom that had pooled in my mouth before saying what should have been said all those years ago.

"You ignorant fucking asshole, I _did_ do something," I growled, shoving his chest, barely moving him. "I refused to give up. I refused to let you _just_ die. All this time, I thought that it was _me_ that gave you the venom needed to give you the life others dream of, a life others are more than _willing_ to die for…but it wasn't. I fucking beat myself up for years, tortured myself and everyone around me; all for you…you insignificant piece of shit! No more James," I panted. "No more. _Fuck you_. Fuck you, James…as far as I am concerned, I fucking saved you by _not_ drinking you dry that night."

"You didn't save me…and _my_ life, my fate," he pointed to his chest, "was never yours to decide." Suddenly, his head whipped to look at the two very confused vampires beside us. "You should both go… I think I'd like to handle this on my own from here."

"That is understandable," Laurent agreed, but Victoria's thoughts did not.

…_Fucking liar, you won't handle this on your own…_she yelled internally, eyes narrowed at James. I had assumed she knew of my talent, but clearly she did not. Her thoughts led me to believe that there was something she wasn't saying, or thinking. Could she know, and she was intentionally hiding something? Maybe her innocence was merely an act, a show for my benefit.

James released my head, instead placing his grip around my arm. "I will meet you in three days in Vancouver," he directed them before pulling me in the same direction we had been travelling.

His words had been firm, and neither Victoria, nor Laurent questioned his motives. Instead they began to walk south in what was a clear attempt to avoid travelling near the same path we had just taken, and the one me and James were still on.

Though Laurent didn't voice it, he departed feeling slightly offended; positive that whatever James had planned was supposed to involve them all. Victoria on the other hand was relieved, already insistent that she would _not_ be meeting James in Vancouver; her intentions of meeting up with him never to take place again.

We began to walk again, our movements brisk, both of us remaining silent until the brush grew less dense and we had emerged upon highway one-oh-one, just outside Port Angeles. I glanced up at the sign beside me that told us where we were before turning my eyes on James who was studying the moonlit sky. Quickly with my free hand, I dug the nail of my index finger into my palm. I dug it deep, sharply moving it side to side so that I could slice the hard skin beneath. When I felt the cool liquid beneath my finger tip I knew I had succeeded.

"We need to run," he said, looking ahead towards the direction of Port Angeles. "I suggest you keep up if you want to keep your legs for future use."

Without thought I raised my slightly bloody palm, and let it glide over the edge of the sign, allowing the sharp metal to gouge my palm further, but not before leaving a small mark that I was there.

There was no time for me to retort as James took off, his arm still tightly clasped around my forearm. I let my free hand dangle wildly as I ran, keeping up speed with James, knowing that the miniscule drops of bloody venom that left my already healing palm were enough to help my family track me…smell me.

_This better fucking work_, I thought as we entered downtown Port Angeles. It was like a ghost town, no signs of life except for the stray cat searching for its midnight fix of rat. Deep in the heart of the darkness stood a rundown, abandoned building. The parking lot empty; the vertical blinds in each window drawn open and forgotten. I knew this was where James intended on taking me; as he smiled brightly, his face almost human as it lit up. I followed blindly to the battered double doors that were covered in a large, neon-yellow "NO TRESSPASSING" sign.

As we approached James ripped the sign free, turning once to look behind us. "Expecting someone?" I asked, tugging on my captive arm.

"I was just thinking to _myself_, that this worked out much better than I expected."

"How so?" I sneered.

"Well, I was prepared to deal with more of your usual theatrics. That little show you put on back there was nothing compared to what I know you can do."

"The night is still young, James, the night is still young."

As we walked inside the age of the building hit me with force. The archaic lobby was dark, air stagnant with moisture. Each breath I took allowed the mildew surrounding us to cling to my throat. I would have chosen to hold my breath if I was with anyone other than James, but I needed all of my senses acute and intact.

James let me go; stopping momentarily to tightly weave a thick silver chain around the handles of the back of the door we had just entered through. I laughed, "Are you serious? You can't possibly believe that that," I pointed to the links, "is going to keep my family out."

James ignored me as I continued to snicker, grabbing me once more. "You see, Isabella," he began to speak as we moved forward, leading me further into the building. "After I went missing my mother became very ill." I watched his jaw slowly tighten as his teeth ground together. "She died trying to find me…she died because she _couldn't_."

_And I'm supposed to care, why?_

I listened as his breathing became heavy, his body tense. Quickly he swung around to meet me, his dark eyes boring into my own. "I chose my stage well," he waved his hands, finally releasing me to gesture around the room. "Beautiful, isn't it? Very…visually _dynamic_."

I took in the surroundings further, the mirror-lined walls, the hardwood flooring. I could clearly see the golden bar that ran the perimeter of the large room. It was obvious I had been taken to a dance studio…a ballet studio to be more specific. James paused, breathing in the room before us with a malicious grin. "My mother had a school just like this back home in Connecticut. It was her livelihood, her dream…but it died when she did…All. Because. Of. You."

"I did not do this to you," I shoved his chest hard. "It was not _my_ teeth that bit you, asshole. If you want someone to blame then you should find Esme-"

Just then a rustle of noise in the corner of the room alerted me, and I stilled as a figure emerged. Even in the darkness I could make out the lean figure that was Esme. She looked ready for an interview; her hair pulled back in a bun with loosely hanging tendrils framing her face. Her body adorned in a charcoal-grey pencil skirt with matching blazer, a silken-white blouse beneath.

"Ah, speak of the devil and she arrives. You never mentioned we'd have company, James," I mumbled, calmly, as the clacking of Esme's heels grew near. She was taking her time, walking at a human pace to where James and I stood.

"Bella," she greeted, sidling up to James. The corners of her lips twisted up into a knowing grin; her normal pale features near blushed.

_She had recently fed. _

Esme delicately wove her arm around James' waist before he leaned in, kissed her temple, and whispered in her ear. "Did you take care of that other situation?"

Esme laughed, a tinkering echo reverberated in the hollow room. "Of course, James," she said aloud, her eyes trained on me. "That is why I cannot stay and play for _too_ long. I have a plane to catch."

I rolled my eyes, turning my head to scan the room further. It was Alice's vision without a doubt.

"What's the matter, Bella? You don't seem surprised to see me," Esme asked, she and James leaning into the other. James was stroking the back of her neck, leaning in every few seconds to inhale her scent.

_Poor Carlisle…_

"Fuck. You," I snarled, taking a step towards her before spitting in her face. My venom slid down her pallid cheek like a landslide as her body began to shake with rage. It was then as our bodies moved towards the other, both ready to annihilate each other, that I really saw her.

_Her fucking eyes, they're crimson_.

"Yes, Bella, your eyes are not deceiving you. Now…James if you would be so kind?" she gestured towards my body sarcastically. James followed her line of sight, grabbing both my arms from behind me. I pulled against him but his grip only intensified and within seconds I was being pushed further into the vacant room, Esme leading the way.

While I followed like the puppet I had clearly fucking become, I began to picture little Ballerinas. I imagined each dressed in frilly pink tulle tutus; pirouetting on glazed wooden floors, pastel-pink leather clad toes pointing in time with their instructor's direction. I decided I wanted to be a Ballerina, and let myself become the fantasy.

_Alice…please see this…_

"Did you see the boy?" Esme asked James, stopping to look at him.

"Yes, I broke his leg," he replied smugly. "I don't know why you're so concerned, love. He's merely human, a pawn, a pet. Isn't that right, Isabella?"

I refused to answer.

"You must not have looked close enough, _James_. He is more than some pathetic human," she hissed, looking disgusted.

"I did get a taste of him," James said proudly, hands _still_ unrelenting against my arms.

"You _did_?" Esme was astounded, "how?"

"Not directly…through Isabella…_here_," he ran his finger over the area he had cut before with his nail. "His blood still courses through her…care for a taste?" he pushed me forward, offering me.

Esme looked deep in thought for a minute as James bowed my neck, his fingers tightly knotted against my scalp. I was exposed, ready for the taking. I knew then that no matter what, any attempt I made to escape would be fruitless, but fuck if I didn't at least go down trying. I knew Esme and James were both stronger, both full of human blood. Who knew how long Esme had been living off the shit, I wouldn't. I never gave two shits about her life…what she did.

_Fuck! Does _Carlisle_ know? Has he been hiding her secret?_

After a few moments of what looked like debate Esme finally spoke. "You know, I think I _would_ like a taste."

I saw her body lean in and in disgust my body recoiled. But James would not have that, as suddenly my body was thrust against Esme's. I felt the venom pool in my mouth as I growled at her descent, snapping my teeth at her face. James had me held so tight, my arms bound to my sides, my head tilted and locked in his grip giving Esme easy access as I wriggled infinitesimally in his clutch.

Esme cackled, "all the more rage will only make for more interesting sport, _Be-lla_." Within seconds she was at my neck, biting down into the curve that lie there, _hard_. Roughly she anchored herself to my flesh like the fucking leech she was and it wasn't long before James was following suit, his hand gripping my forearm before biting into the crease of my elbow, my body now a free-for-all.

I tried to break free, pulling my arm from James only to have my flesh torn wide open. With my free hand I pulled at Esme's hair, ripping her precariously placed bun from its position. I could feel the thick strands I had ripped from her scalp clump around my fingers. I grit my teeth, groaning as I thrashed about, Esme digging her teeth deeper into my neck before releasing me, grabbing and piercing my chin with her lacquered nails.

"What makes _you_ so fucking _special_?" she whispered, hate lacing her tone. She studied me for a second, my lips pursed due to her hold, unable to answer.

I could feel myself weakening as James continued his assault and Esme returned to where her mouth had once been draining me. And as they both continued to take, my body quickly fell to the floor as the fluid that gave me life was quickly drained from my body. Before long a familiar sting penetrated the areas that James and Esme were attached to, and I knew then that they were injecting their venom intentionally- incapacitating me.

I struggled against them as best I could as they moved their mouths around my body, ripping and tearing away pieces of clothing to get to more flesh. Each time they bit down they released more venom, leaving a fiery trail in their wake. I was becoming nothing more than a heap of decaying flesh…I was literally dying. _Again_.

As my eyes lolled I felt some reprieve as Esme ordered James to fetch a camera, "I think we should send the Cullens a little message, don't you"

I opened my eyes and could vaguely make out the small, palm-sized digital camera that sat within his palm, his absence in retrieving the device I didn't even register.

"How would you like to do this, Esme?" he asked.

"Hmmm," I could see her tapping her perfectly lacquered nails against her chin. "I don't want her to be knocked out for this, that's for sure. I want her to be able to feel her limbs being torn from her body."

My body felt powerless, like a lead weight, and with what little energy I could muster I pushed my palms flat against the floor trying to lift myself. My effort was wasted as I slipped against a thick liquid; a liquid I could only assume was my own venom mixed with Edward's blood which had managed to spill from my now slowly healing wounds.

"No, no. We can't have any of that. James…bite her again," Esme demanded when she caught my slight movement.

My body shook as James struck my chest with his bare foot, effectively shoving me back against the floor. I tried to lift my arms but they were still so heavy, unable to move. I could see through my tunnel vision Esme above me, bent over my side, camera in hand ready to record as James moved closer, violently tearing the remainder of my shirt from my chest. With my flesh exposed he leaned in, biting me once more...just above my breast.

As my eyes closed, and the stinging intensified, my consciousness began to fade into complete darkness. "This will surely break Carlisle's little heart…," she falsely cried. And in that darkness I could still make out more of Esme's words, though it sounded like I was underwater, she just at the surface, a lifeline just out of reach as she spoke to the camera.

"And _action_…Hello, my dear Carlisle. By the time you see this video I will be long gone, and Bella will be dead…"

_**~Edward's Point Of View~**_

"Someone, please tell me what the fuck just happened," I hissed, shrugging Carlisle off my shoulders for the millionth time as I limped towards the couch in the living room.

"Well, me, Rosie, Alice and Jasper were out having a midnight snack when Alice saw James-"

"Not that Emmett. _Fuck_…I mean what the fuck is she thinking?" I sat on the couch, Carlisle already attending to my damaged leg. My hands had already sought refuge in my hair as I anxiously tried to get my shit together. "_Why_?" I asked to know one in particular.

"Because she loves you, that's why," Tanya whispered from the corner, not bothering to even lift her head to look at me.

"Pfft," I was pissed. No, I was fucking furious. I had every intention of ending that asshole James' life right then and there. But of course Bella just couldn't trust me. I had a plan. Let him think I was this week feeble human and right when he least expected it I would attack. Jasper and I had already worked out the semantics…I was prepared. It was Bella who wasn't; her and her fucking guilt-ridden conscience just couldn't stop for one day.

"So now what, he has Bella? How the fuck are we supposed to get her back?" I asked around the room. Each of Bella's siblings was deep in thought but only Alice stepped forward to answer my question.

"We'll find her, Edward," she said. "Bella only needs to remain focused on James and her surroundings and we'll find her."

"How, didn't you hear James? He can keep you and Bella out of his head if he chooses." I could feel Carlisle manipulating the bone in my leg as I awaited my answer, the sharp pang of pain nearly sent me off the couch. "_Fuck_," I groaned as he mumbled his apologies.

"Edward, I need to re-break the bone. You've already begun to heal and it's incorrect. If I don't take care of it now you will only re-injure it again later. Which you can't afford," Carlisle said softly.

"_Fine_…just don't tell me when. Alice?" I asked, still awaiting her plan.

Alice tapped her temple, smiling widely. "She'll show me, Edward. I know she will."

I heard the crack before I felt the searing pain that shot up my thigh, the intensity causing me to scream out in pain. "I'm so sorry," Carlisle whispered, his firm hands manipulating the bone back into place. My body was shaking from the after effects of what he had done; my brow beaded with sweat.

"Would you like some morphine? It may help a little-"

"_Noooo_," I groaned as Carlisle lifted my leg to rest it upon a pillow. "Give me a few minutes and I'll be as good as new." I smiled through clenched teeth, though I knew it appeared more as a grimace.

I didn't want to come off as a dick to Carlisle, or to any of the Cullen's for that matter. They had all been good to me, accepting me…except for Esme. I looked around the large room, Tanya was on the phone, Rosalie and Emmett were discussing a game plan, and Jasper was sat beside Alice on the stairs- her eyes closed, body rocking back and forth as he ran his hands over her back caressingly.

Someone was missing…

I closed my eyes, taking a deep breath as I ran my hands over my face and leaned my heavy head against a plush pillow. I could feel it in my bones, crawling beneath my skin…something bad was about to happen…and finally it hit me.

"Carlisle?" I called to where he stood like a statue before the large picture window that oversaw the massive expanse of a front yard. Slowly he turned his head, looking at me over his shoulder.

"Yes, son?" the endearment was intentional and did not go unnoticed.

"Where is your wife? Where's Esme?"

Carlisle stood motionless, moving only to return his gaze to the blackened night before him. I could feel the shift in the room. What were once private conversations were now all honed in on the man before the window. The silent man…

"We have company," he said so softly his voice barely registering as he left the window to meet whoever was arriving at the door.

"Company?" Alice looked up confused. "B-b-but I didn't see-"

"Shh, Alice. You're under too much stress. You know what that can do to your visions," Jasper said, comforting her.

I sat up from where I had been restlessly laying, my leg already feeling better, a few minor aches but nothing worth concerning myself over. I knew that come the morning there'd be no remnants of the injury left. I hung my head just above my spread legs, elbows on my thighs, fingers running through my hair when every hair on my body instantly stood on end.

Low hisses and gnarls filled the room. I looked up to see the guests that were on the receiving end of the growls, and before I could register what I was doing I was across the room, my fingers wrapped around the man who had been called Laurent's, throat.

I lifted him with ease, slamming his body against the wall, cracking the plaster and drywall beneath. "Where the fuck is she? TELL ME!"

"_Please_…we mean no harm," the red-head known as Victoria whined, her hand gripping my forearm lightly.

"I'll kill you," I hissed, showing this Laurent that I was much more than what he thought at first inspection. "I'll kill you, both," I said turning to the small woman beside me. I knew my eyes must have been blazing as my anger only intensified by the second. Laurent tried to speak but his words were gargled and muted due to the constriction I was inflicting on his windpipe.

"Edward, let him speak," Jasper said, placing a hand on my shoulder. "They are not here to argue, or fight, are you?"

I released my grip slightly, just enough to let Laurent croak out a few words. "N-n-no…we came to warn you."

"Warn us!" Rosalie screeched, her eyes full of fury, her body shaking while Emmett restrained her.

"Let him down, Edward. Don't waste your strength, you'll need it." Carlisle did not ask but calmly and eerily demanded it and reluctantly I complied.

"_Please_," Victoria's hands were up in surrender, "we just wanted to give you more information about James before you try to go after him."

"Where is he? Where did he take Bella?" I yelled in Victoria's face. She looked away sullenly, shaking her head in dismay.

"We're listening," Rosalie added, her arms crossed defiantly over her chest.  
"First off…he's not alone," Laurent said, looking around the room, avoiding eye contact with me. "There is a female that he's been working with."

"This female," Carlisle asked, swallowing hard, "who is she?"

"We don't know," Victoria answered. "We've never met her, or seen her. She is one of us…that much we are certain. He meets with her secretly, or they speak on the phone." Suddenly she looked away, her hands humanly picking at invisible lint on her soiled shirt. "You were the bait," she whispered before returning her crimson gaze to my own. "He never wanted you…he only wants Bella. To make her pay…make her suffer…he calls it _retribution_."

"He plans on killing her…_slowly_, him and the female," Laurent added.

_The female. _

"Well," Emmett chucked lightly, "we'll stop him."

Emmett's confidence shone like a beacon, though it fell on darkness as Laurent shook his head grimly. "You under estimate his strength, his power. He has a brilliant mind, with unparalleled senses."

"Yeah, well he under estimates mine," I quipped.

"Hmmm…obviously," Laurent smirked. "But you'll never bring him down. He's lethal, that's why I joined him. Are you all certain it's worth it?"

The question was directed to the whole room, not just me, and the response he received I'm sure wasn't what he had expected as growls erupted from the chests of everyone around me.

"Oh it's more than worth it," I smiled, showing him my glistening teeth. I knew he was trying to figure out exactly what I was, who I was. But tonight would be his lucky night, because he would never get to see the monster I truly was, or the hell I had intended unleashing upon him. I would save all of that for James…

Suddenly, an audible gasp left Alice's lips and immediately all eyes focused on her as she stood still as a statue, her eyes frozen- open wide

"Alice, what is it? What do you see?" Jasper asked quietly. She shook her head almost violently, as if trying to shake away unwanted images.

"Port Angeles…he took her to downtown Port Angeles…to…an abandoned ballet studio…" she gasped again, her hand covering her mouth; her eyes dilated black as she looked from me to Carlisle. "He…he's let his guard down…Oh God; they're…_biting_ her…"

"Who is?" Tanya cried.

"James…and…_Esme_."

In my periphery I could see Carlisle back away, his face drawn, paler than usual.

"Where Alice?" I screamed, grabbing her small arms. "Tell me where she is!"

"I don't know yet!" she cried back, tearless sobs wracking through her. "The images are coming and going…I think these visions have already taken place, _fuck_ I can't tell! _Please_, you need to go! Edward, we don't have much time…we'll be close behind."

Before I could process what I was doing I was in the garage sat atop a rumbling charcoal Ducati, the owner of which I failed to acknowledge; and within minutes the powerful bike was leading me north up highway one-oh-one.

_Downtown Port Angeles…_I repeated it like a mantra as I maneuvered the bike around tight curves, weaving in and out of traffic, praying to any god that existed to let me make it to Port Angeles without being pulled over. I had just passed the city limits sign for Port Angeles when I smelled it…my own blood and the very faint aroma that was Bella. It was so light, barely noticeable, the dampened air already drenching and masking its fragrance. But I smelled it…I smelled _her_.

I slowed the bike, and like a hound I let what little of a scent there was guide me. As I neared downtown Port Angeles the scent appeared to become stronger. It was as though it was leading me, pulling me to where I needed to be. Soon I was stopped in an empty intersection, a flashing yellow street light flickered above me, a forgotten business district of old, and run-down buildings surrounded me.

I ran my fingers through the wet tangles that sat heavily upon my head, and with eyes closed I tilted my head to the sky. "_Bella_…where are you?"

I could still smell her; her presence surrounded me like a cloud. I let my instincts take over, allowing my body to completely give into the predator side within me. Within seconds I was on the ground running, my body being pulled by a force stronger than I had ever known. The same force that kept me tethered to Bella was the same force bringing me to her now, and before I could breathe another breath I was standing in front of an empty building, Bella's scent and the earthy aroma of James assaulting me.

_She's here…_

Without another wasted thought I ran to the double doors, splintering the wood as I tore them open with ease, snapping the chain link that I could only assume was meant to keep me out behind them. Once inside I was overcome with flagrant aromas; Bella's venom…my blood…I wavered, my head spinning, my stomach turning as a growl deep in my stomach rose up my throat. I ran towards the direction of the scent, my sneakers skidding on the shellacked floors when I found Bella's body crumpled and abandoned on the floor.

"Bella? _BELLA!_" I screamed running to her side, practically throwing myself on top of her. "Bella, wake up!" I looked her over, her once porcelain features now grey and decaying. I stroked her hair; it was matted, and sticky. Her eyes were slatted, the white showing through. Her clothes had been ripped from her body, each piece of exposed flesh covered in barely healed crescent bite marks.

_Please don't die, please don't die…_

"Baby, you need to get up," I begged, my eyes stinging with unshed tears as I kissed her pallid lips. She was colder than usual, her body rigid…a corpse. "Damn it, Bella! Fucking fight!"

_Please_…?

"Well, well…look who decided to come to the party," James' condescending tone interrupted me and immediately I was crouched, hovering over Bella in a protective stance as I watched his ascent. "_Oh_, and healed too. Well isn't this an interesting turn of events," he cocked his head to one side, eyeing me suspiciously.

"You have no idea, asshole," I mumbled then leapt for him, smashing his body into the hard wood flooring beneath us; planks of wood cracked and burst, raining down upon us in fragments.

"Esme said there was something about you…something different," he laughed, rising quickly before grabbing my throat and thrusting me across the room. My back hit a wall of mirrors, my head shattering the glass. James was already in front of me, his hand gripped tightly around my throat once more, holding me in place.

"Do you actually think you're stronger than me, that you could _kill_ _me_?"

"I don't think…I know," I snarled.

"You may be faster than the others but you're not stronger. Why is that, _Edward, _what are you really?"

I could feel the rage in me growing to beyond immeasurable as James loosened his grip slightly, my body began to shake and all semblance of humanity left me as I became the monster I so desperately tried to avoid.

I threw James off me, sending him across the wide expanse of the room. He landed on his back, but before he could rise to his feet I was over him, ripping one of his arms clear off his body; the sound of tearing flesh and snapping bone echoed throughout the room.

James grinned widely; unaffected, picking up a stray piece of wood flooring with his one and only arm before plunging it through my thigh. "_Fucking, son of a bitch_!" I screamed as my severed femoral artery pulsed around the wooden stake. I grit my teeth; my body still shaking with pent-up fury, as James righted himself.

In one swift movement I yanked the wood free, throwing it aside. "You really shouldn't have done that," I hissed, feeling the wound already beginning to close.

"And why is that?"

"Don't worry…you'll soon find out." I spoke calmly, my head lowered, eyes glaring at him from behind the veil of my lashes.

I began to walk towards him, a look of shock dispersed across his features. "You're not bleeding anymore," it was a statement, not a question.

"No…I'm not."

I stopped, mere feet away from him, raising my eyes to meet his own. "What the _fuck _are _you_?" he asked.

"What's wrong, James?" I cooed as I began stalking him, circling him like a vulture ready to attacks its prey. "Thought you had me all figured out, didn't you?"

For every step forward I took, he took one step back, his eyes watching my every movement. "Didn't Esme tell you, James?" before he could blink I was right before him, my forehead pressed into his. "Didn't she _warn_ you?"

James turned to escape but I was quicker, grabbing is gritty clothes and tossing him, the sound of shattering glass reverberated around me as his body hit a row of plate glass windows, allowing unfiltered moonlight to pour into the once dark room. He was on his feet in no time, but his face had changed. No longer did he appear as the dominant male, a vampire who thought he had the upper hand. Instead he wore the face of fear, dizzying, and unreciprocated fear. He looked like he was seeing a ghost, while his body screamed for some form of an escape.

Before he could do anything further I threw myself at him, pushing him up against the wall, my forearm pressed firmly against his windpipe. I could see my reflection behind him, my eyes completely black, face contorted. I had become what I hated…I had become my father…and surprisingly it felt _oh-so_ fucking good.

I laughed, feeling the all consuming power my rage was feeding into me, and I channeled every ounce of it into my forearm, hearing the small tracheal bones snapping like twigs in James' neck. I savored the look in his eyes, the panic, as his cries came out in gurgling grunts. "I'm just like you, James, but _better_."

He shook his head violently, as I crushed his throat, leaning into him; my mouth right over his ear. "I'm going to do something that should have been done years ago." I pulled away so that I could see his eyes one last time. The fear was undoubtedly present and I drank it in letting it fuel me further.

"I'm going to kill you. But unlike what you had planned for Bella, I'm going to make this quick…you've already wasted too much of my time." Just as I leaned into his exposed neck I was interrupted by a cold, but familiar hand upon my shoulder.

"Edward," Carlisle's soft voice broke through the rage that had consumed me. "He's not worth it…we need to help Bella."

_When had he arrived?_

"You're right Carlisle…he isn't worth it." And with that I tore into his neck, biting down with force, feeling his granite flesh turn to putty beneath my teeth. I tore right into the thickened cords that were his arteries and ripped my mouth away viciously, taking with me a large chunk of his flesh. I spit it out, feeling the coolness of his last meal drip and rivulet over my chin; only to do it again, tearing away pieces of his flesh one right after the other.

I could feel hands on me; as I pushed forward they pulled back, their voices muffled in my reddened haze. James was already dead, for good, that I was certain but to be sure I gripped my fingers into his oily hair and ripped his head off, discarding it like the piece of trash it was.

A resounding calm washed over me as I started to come to; my reflection stared back at me, my face bloodied. Behind me a fire had been started and the smell of chemicals from the treated wooden floorboards began to fill my lungs. I welcomed the burning sensation it elicited upon my throat and breathed deeper as I watched Jasper and Alice tear the remainder of James' body to shreds, before throwing each piece into the blazing pyre.

"Edward, I need you here," Carlisle called, breaking me from my spell; and immediately I ran to his side remembering all too quickly the woman I loved still lay dying on the floor.

"She's going to die, isn't she?"

"Not if you can help her she won't," he answered, eyeing me hopefully. "They drained her…and from the looks of all the bite wounds they injected her with a large amount of venom."

"What the _fuck_ does that mean?" I cursed, unable to fathom my life without Bella in it.

"Vampire venom is similar to that of a snakes…it paralyzes its prey," Carlisle said, his words not intended to mock me yet I felt the sting.

"I know what it does, Carlisle, even if I don't have any."

"I wasn't-"

"What do I need to do?" I asked, feeling that enough time had already been wasted.

"She needs blood…she will need a lot of blood just to get some semblance of strength back."

"Well that I can give her."

Without a second thought I bit into my wrist, deeply lacerating the flesh before severing the artery within. I placed one hand behind the base of Bella's head, lifting it slightly so that her chin was elevated. "Open her mouth for me," I ordered Carlisle and he did so, parting Bella's grayed lips without question.

I placed my bleeding wrist over her parted lips, letting my blood pulse into her arid mouth. "Drink, baby," I whispered into her ear, kissing her temple. After a few minutes I could feel the smallest sensation of what felt like tugging, and it was then that I finally breathed a sigh of relief.

_Bella would live…that's all that mattered._

"It's working, Edward," Carlisle praised and I nodded in agreement, my body beginning to feel weak yet I would never say so nor would I stop.

"That's right, Bella, take it all," I could see her eyelids fluttering with movement and the grey slowly begin to fade from her skin, while I myself became dizzier by the moment.

"That's enough, Bella," Carlisle yelled, trying to dislodge my wrist from Bella's now tight grip; but all I could feel were her sharp teeth sinking further into my skin, her mouth suctioning more intensely as she drained me.

It was me sustaining her, me giving my life so that she could live. And even as my heavy head hit the floor and a black calm consumed me, I knew it would only be a matter of hours before I held her in my arms again…that thought alone made the pain I felt now, and the pain I had gone through these past few hours well worth it.


	14. Chapter 14: The End

**_THANK YOU _ShamelesslyObsessed **and **queenxochitl**. I **LOVE **you both!

**THANK YOU **to **all **my loyal readers. All your words of support are what makes this story exist; I can never thank you all enough.

THANKS to NIN for bringing back my muse ;)

**PLEASE NOTE**: This is **NOT **the last chapter...see **A/N** below

**NOW **on with the show...

* * *

"_Breeze still carries the sound, maybe I'll disappear_  
_Tracks will fade in the snow, you won't find me here_

_Ice is starting to form, ending what had begun_  
_I am locked in my head with what I've done_  
_I know you tried to rescue me, didn't let anyone get in_  
_Left with a trace of all that was, and all that could have been_

_Please_  
_Take this and run far away, far away from me_  
_I am tainted…the two of us_  
_Were never meant to be_  
_All these pieces, and promises and left behinds_  
_If only I could see…_  
_In my nothing_  
_You were everything, everything to me_

_Gone… fading...Everything…_  
_And…All that..._  
_Could have been..._  
_All that could have been._

_Please_  
_Take this and run far away_  
_Far as you can see_  
_I am tainted, and happiness and peace of mind_  
_Were never meant for me_  
_All these pieces, and promises and left behinds_  
_If only I could see…_  
_In my nothing_  
_You were everything, everything to me…"_

_**And All That Could Have Been: Nine Inch Nails**_

_**

* * *

********14. The End**_

"How is he?" Carlisle asked, as I closed the heavy door behind me; the click of the latch a muffled echo in the book lined room.

Edward was asleep; his body beaten and abused lain upon my bed. He had been sleeping since we had arrived home nearly four hours ago. He was only one floor above where I stood now, his musical heart resounding throughout the house; a sign that he was healing much quicker than any of us thought he would.

I had only left his side once and that was because my family insisted…more so Alice. I then waited till Edward was comfortable, and left to hunt; still famished and weakened, even after consuming every pint of blood that ran through his veins.

If it had not been for Carlisle and his ability to obtain blood from the blood bank at the hospital…well, it's more than possible Edward's heart would be as silent as mine right now.

"He's _alive_, Carlisle," I retorted, finally; cynicism thick in my reply. My tense demeanor, and curt come back did nothing but show the immense guilt that had been riddling my body since…

…_He's okay, Bella, stop tormenting yourself…_

"Easy for you to fucking say," I hissed, pacing before his desk. "Carlisle, I nearly tore his wrist off his body, I drained him till I heard the dwindling of his heart…I was going to _kill_ him, I _wanted_ to kill him."

…_Which is impossible, and you know that, AND you didn't…_

"How do we know that for sure, that he can't be killed? We're basing the only knowledge we have on the subject off what, Edward's failed suicide attempts?" I yelled, my voice rising with fury.

"Please, sit," he gestured calmly towards the chair before him. I sat heavily, sighing with defeat; my body still aching from the earlier events of James and Esme's doing, but my heart aching more with what I'd done.

"Where is everyone?" I asked, looking out the window that oversaw the back yard.

"Everyone went to go hunt, but mainly to allow Edward some privacy while he recuperated."

"_Oh_."

"I may not be a mind reader but I can tell something is wrong, Bella. I can see it in your eyes, and I if I may I have something to say," I nodded for him to continue. "Before you make an irrational decision you will only regret later," he leaned over the desk, grabbing my hands in his own in a sincere human gesture. "You should know that Edward loves you…and it was Edward that _chose_ to give you his life so that you could have yours back. You need to stop looking at Edward like he is this poor defenseless human, Bella. He is _not_ made of glass, he-"

I laughed, shaking my head in disgust, effectively cutting him off. "If not for the supply of blood you had obtained for him, Carlisle, he'd most likely be dead…we _can't_ always be there to protect him, sustain him…and I can't allow him to put himself at risk like that ever again."

"What are you saying?"

"Ugh! I don't know!" I yelled in frustration, raking my fingers through my hair. "This life wasn't meant for him. This…_our_ life," I circled the room with my hand. "He deserves _more_."

…_And that is a decision for him to make…_

Of course Carlisle was right. But, I knew it was better to be selfless then selfish, and the only way for me to guarantee Edward's safety was to remove myself from his life and all the complications I brought with me…completely.

"I love him, Carlisle. He is my everything…but I…"

…_Let your heart guide you then, Bella, not your guilt…_

The rapid crescendo of Edwards beating heart through the thickened walls alerted both Carlisle and I to his awakening. It had felt like an eternity since Carlisle had given him numerous pints of blood to replenish what I so savagely took. Edward's bruised yet pallid body had lain limply on my bed since; and I had only intended to slip out quickly with the intention of speaking to Carlisle about Esme…an obvious failed attempt.

"You should go to him," he said, nodding his head towards the ever present thrumming drum that was Edward's heart. I shook my head in acknowledgment as I walked towards the door.

"We still need to speak about Esme, Carlisle," I said, my back facing him, my eyes locked on the wood grain of the mahogany door before me.

"I know…but now is not the time," he whispered sadly.

"Just tell me…before I go…did you know? Did you know she'd been feeding on humans?"

The silence echoed in the room, and a minute had passed before I finally turned my head, peering over my shoulder. Carlisle's head hung, his fingers splayed over the features of his face as he sobbed silently.

"_Carlisle_?"

"Yes, I knew."

"Carlisle!" I gasped, walking back towards him. "Why didn't you…I mean how come you didn't-"

"Bella, Edward needs you," he said looking up, his face pained and distraught. "Go to him…_please_."

…_I can't do this…not right now…_

Respectfully I left his office, though sluggishly making my way to what I knew would be the hardest thing I would ever have to do. I needed to follow my heart, and follow my heart I would.

"Hey," I greeted Tanya, my tone defeated as I watched her ascend the last few steps that led to where I stood.

"Don't '_hey'_ me, Bella. I just spoke to Alice…what the fuck are you thinking?"

"Listen, I don't need your judgment or anyone else's, ok?" I snapped, as Tanya pushed her body against me. Her tall lean frame hovered over me; her eyes darkened with unmistakable anger as she stared down upon me.

"You're a fucking fool," she hissed, pushing me aside and walking past; knocking lightly on the door I had just closed. "You don't deserve him…and you never will."

"You're absolutely right, and that's why I need to do this."

"No, you're only doing this because you're afraid. Afraid to let someone actually _love_ you. You belong with Edward, and you fucking know it. We all know it! He's your mate, regardless of what he is. But as usual you refuse to believe that anything good should come your way," she said to the door before turning on her heel to face me. "Bella, I love you. You're like my sister, always will be. But I am telling you now…if you walk away from him…well…you walk away from me too...you walk away from all of us."

With those final words Tanya entered Carlisle's office. I stood for a moment, shocked and somewhat perturbed at the venom that spewed from her mouth. But she was right, her words only reinforcing what I knew was the right thing to do. If I lost my family along the way…well then that loss would be nothing in comparison to the pain I would soon endure once I was without Edward.

I was certain that I didn't deserve Edward. I didn't deserve his trust, or his love…I didn't deserve any of their love, and I never would.

I listened to the silent thoughts that Tanya emitted, unable to walk away just yet knowing that when I did it would most likely be for good. I found that her thoughts were void of my conflicting issues; but instead were full of concern for Carlisle's well-being.

"_How are you holding up, Carlisle?"_ she asked him quietly, sensing my presence. I could hear the rustle of movement before Carlisle's mumbled response and heavy sigh.

"_Better now."_

"_Everything will be all right…I promise you," _she vowed, and he replied silently; his mind showing me the warm, and comfortable embrace he held Tanya in.

…_I know it will be…_

With my mind muddled I let my body lead me; and on auto-pilot I climbed the stairs one by one until I stood on the third floor landing. As always, I was electrically aware of Edward's presence- as if he were beside me, close enough to touch, close enough to taste. Edward's heart beat healthy and drowned my conscience in guilt with every percussion. Haggardly I walked the remaining few steps towards my door and with a gut full of uncertainty I opened it. Steam from the attached bath clouded the room; as Edward called quietly from the bathroom, alerting me to his whereabouts.

My chest felt tight, my breath leaving me in anxious pants as I closed the gap between Edward and I; letting the all consuming tug pull my tethers taut and reel me in. It was hard to believe that someone as beautiful as Edward existed in this fucked up world, it was too easy to not fall for him…but it was dangerous. My selfish desires of wanting to be with Edward had been ridiculously dangerous, something that should have been rectified long ago. I could hear the bath water running, and when I peeked through the slightly ajar door the visual before me made my knees weak, and my reason for coming to speak to him fade into the background.

Edward was hunched over the claw foot tub, his lower body wrapped haphazardly in a white terry-cloth towel; one hand barely holding it in place while the other hand adjusted the water temperature. With every movement, even small, his upper body flexed and firmed; and I watched in awe as the muscles rippled beneath his pale skin.

"I was hoping you'd be back soon," he said. Even with his back to me his smile was evident in his voice, "I'd like for you to join me."

I stood silently, watching the rise and fall of his back as he inhaled and exhaled. He was pure perfection, Adonis personified.

"Well?" he asked, turning around to face me, one eyebrow raised.

"Of course," I breathed as I stepped further into the heated room. I slipped out of my shoes and began fumbling for the button on my jeans but was quickly relinquished of that duty as Edward appeared before me, his fingers nimbly undoing the same clasp my trembling fingers could not.

"Allow me, Bella…_please_."

The warmth of his breath washed over my skin, its sweetness seeping into my slightly parted lips. Here Edward stood before me…_alive_. Not one indication present on his beautiful form that he had just defeated a vampire, or that he had nearly been consumed by one- me, his immortal lover.

I stared into his piercing eyes, a thickened forest of lust and need; before closing my own so that my other senses would intensify. I still had so many unanswered questions as to what happened to James, the few details I had been given by my family not enough to quench my curiosity. But instead I chose to just let myself feel Edward, absorb every detail into my cognizance knowing that it more than likely would be the last time to experience such bliss.

I arched my body into his touch and his hands gently caressed the skin that overlay my hips. My body ached for this; his touch, his kiss, his _love_.

I could feel the phantom wetness pool beneath my eyelids, my emotions suffocating, while his heavenly scent shrouded me like the blanket my cold body so desperately desired yet was so undeserving of. I knew then in my still heart -without doubt- that I had to let him go…I had to set him free.

"Bella," he said softly, placing a finger beneath my chin to lift to his intense gaze. "You're whimpering. Open your eyes…look at me, _please_."

_Had I been whimpering?_

I opened my eyes to see Edward's brow furrowed and fraught with concern. He lifted a hand to his hair, running his slender fingers through it before gripping it by the roots. "Please, Bella...Let me in, just for tonight."

Did he _know_? Could he _feel_ the inevitable? How could I ever deny him now? I couldn't and wouldn't stop myself from giving in to him. He was my undoing…his pleading my crutch.

_Maybe he needed this more than I did._

I needed to show him that no matter what he would forever own my heart, my body, and what little semblance of a soul I had. So for tonight I would just be…completely Edward's.

I swallowed thickly, taking in a deep breath before opening my mouth to speak to the only man I would ever love…the only man who I would kill for…die for. "I-I need you, Edward…_now_."

He gave me no time to second guess my words as his mouth came down upon mine, his fingers finding their comfortable purchase amongst the soft hairs at the nape of my neck. He was gentle; brushing his soft, pink lips against my own; his slick tongue darting out slowly as it traced my lower lip asking for entrance beyond.

"_Edward_," I cried softly while his hands finally pushed my jeans over my jutting hips. His movements were slow, calculated and deliberate; and I knew then that mine should be as well. So I allowed his hands to move slowly as he pushed my pants down to my feet, his palms circling my calves, then my thighs as he returned back to me, only to repeat the motions again as he removed my panties.

"Do you have any idea how much I love you, Bella?" he breathed into my open mouth as he tugged my t-shirt up, moving away momentarily as he pulled it over my head, only for his mouth to return to my quivering lips seconds later. "Do you?"

I shook my head, unable to look at him for fear of falling apart. "Come, let me show you."

Edward took my hand, my small palm sat perfectly within his large; and he tugged me lightly towards the tub where I was assisted in. The hot water felt incredible as I submerged my body into its awaiting warmth. I watched with hooded eyes as Edward dropped his towel; springing free his hardened arousal from its prison. Once he was in the water with me he sat before me, gripping my legs and pulling them so that they wound around his waist.

"I want you close…_No_, I need you close…closer to me, Bella."

I could feel the intensity of his statement as he pulled me closer, causing me to straddle his lap; his engorged cock tightly pressed against my lower abdomen. He ran his fingers through my hair and my eyes rolled in euphoric pleasure at his innocent touch. Soon Edward's palms were cupping my face as he pulled my lips to his once more. This time I allowed him entry, and our tongues danced against the other, our lips suckling and tugging gently as our body's swayed against each other tantalizingly slow.

"I love you, Edward," I near cried as I stared into his eyes. "I'll love you _always_."

I paid no mind to his deepening brow, and instead allowed my hands and tips of my fingers to cascade over his heated flesh. I could taste his excitement mingled with his fear of the unknown. It swirled through the stagnant air; like whirling dust motes it fluttered around me entering my airways with every breath I took. His emotions were singing to me, like a siren, and I heard his song…a lullaby soothing me into oblivion.

I ran my palms over his wet chest, pulling lightly on his tiny, taut nipples. "Ungh," he groaned, lifting his hips upward. "You drive me crazy, Bella. Your scent, your touch, I'm intoxicated by your very presence…I thought I lost you today," he said suddenly, causing me to stop my ministrations. His tone along with his gaze had changed from lust to one of intense pain, "I thought you were going to die…if you die, _I die_, Bella. There is no reason for me to exist without you."

"Edward, I-"

"No, Bella, you need to hear this, know this," he placed his index finger over my lips and cupped my neck with his free hand, pulling my face towards him. I rested my forehead against his, his ethereal eyes shining up into my own. "You have no clue how much it tortured me to see you like that…lying there, still…white…," he whispered. "I'm essentially a selfish creature…and I-I want you all to myself...I ache for you, it's more than sexual, it's visceral. Bella, I need you, you are my life now…and I want nothing more than to spend what is left of it with you."

A loud sob escaped me and I quickly swallowed it down. I knew full well what Edward was trying to imply, and before he could continue on what I was sure to turn into a never ending downward spiral I kissed him…fiercely, with abandon.

Each time after that when Edward tried to speak I'd capture his tongue with my own, fighting for its submission. I suckled his lower lip, nibbling slightly on the already swollen flesh; eliciting wanton moans to escape him as I dipped my hand beneath the water and gripped his needy shaft.

"No one should be this tempting," I moaned into his neck, efficiently changing the earlier subject. I lifted my body just so, making it so that I could rub the head of his cock against my slit. I teased him and taunted him, running his swollen head right at my entrance, not allowing him to penetrate me.

"Which is tempting you more, my blood or my body?" he asked breathlessly, his chest heaving against my own.

"_Both_."

I could feel him trembling beneath me as his tongue made contact with my breast, kissing the mark that had been left earlier by James' doing. I could feel his anguish and his fury as he kissed the crescent mark tenderly; as though his kisses would erase what had been done.

"I'm so sorry, Bella, I should have given you a sign…let you know what my intentions were. You didn't deserve this."

"Shh, Edward," I crooned, running my fingers through his tangled hair. But before I could open my mouth to say another word Edward's teeth were hooked into the flesh of my breast, purposely latched to where James had been. I could feel him taking drags from my body, the euphoric pull causing my body to burn with desire. Without further hesitation I impaled myself upon him, both of us crying out in pleasure. We sat motionless, Edward deep inside me, both of us feeling the connection and electricity we created. Edward slowed his suckling, pulling away to look at me; his eyes aglow and filled with unshed tears.

"You're mine…_always_," he cried then grabbed my hips, arching himself upwards into me further. Instinctually my head threw back, my eyes closed, as I let him take control of my body.

"Look at me, Bella."

And I did, watching the intense passion hold Edward's features firm before his mouth found purchase on yet another mark left behind. I knew what he was doing…and I wouldn't stop him. He was reclaiming what was his…_me_. Even with my known intentions I would always be his, and he mine, no one else's. Tanya was right, he was my mate, my one true love…and because of that I needed to protect him.

With our bodies united, we moved in complete harmony. Edward's palm splayed against my lower back, his other gripped gently within my hair. We panted into each other's open mouths, lips touching, eyes refusing to break their stare. I could see it in his half-lidded eyes, the tears begging to be released; all the while his grip unrelenting. I kissed him deeply, putting everything I had into it; all my love, my dreams of our future, my memories of our past…_everything_. And he reciprocated with a whimpering moan and upward thrust of his hips.

"I'm so close, Edward," I whispered, trying in vain to hold off my ever building release. I could feel he had been doing the same though regardless we were quickly being pulled under by our desire.

"Just let go, Bella."

_I am…_

With his permission I let the coil unravel, heaving my head back in ecstasy as my orgasm crashed down upon me like a tidal wave. Edward soon followed, his fingers digging deep into my flesh as he gave himself to me. Our bodies undulated in frantic bliss, even after our release; the now cooled tub water sloshed around us, overflowing and pooling on the ground beneath the tub…leaving us to our own little oasis of paradise.

We met our release once more like that before finding our dampened body's lain side by side on cotton sheets. I held his body close, our foreheads pressed against each other. I ran my fingers through is hair, humming a melody that had begun haunting me only minutes earlier; and within seconds he was fast asleep, lips pouted, breaths soft…my angel.

* * *

Three days had gone by. Three days of returning to some form of normalcy…if avoiding Edward and my family could be considered normalcy. I avoided his calls; left the house when he'd arrive…I was trying to make it easier, on both of us…a clean break. I was no good at rationalizing I never was. Alice wouldn't even speak to me, no one would…and I was okay with that.

I refused to let Edward see me. I couldn't let him see what was buried within my eyes. But I had to break the silence and so the time had finally come.

"Where are you going?" Alice asked as I went to exit the house, finally breaking our speaking fast.

"Out," I replied curtly, avoiding eye contact. Suddenly the room was full of my family and I groaned as their thoughts hit me with force.

"Well, come on! One of you spit out what it is you have to fucking say. All your thoughts combined are giving me a goddamn headache, I can't think straight," I rubbed my temples awaiting the onslaught.

"Alice told us what your intentions are with Edward," Carlisle said, hurt lacing his tone. "I won't lie and say that I am not disappointed in you because I am. But...," he paused looking around at each person's face before continuing, "I speak for everyone when I say that we will _not_ be leaving Forks with you."

"_What_?" I hissed.

"You're on your own sis, sorry," Emmett shrugged, his usual cheery features indifferent.

"We aren't leaving," Rosalie added with finality, stepping forward. "This is _our_ home, we're comfortable here, Bella. And…Edward is family now, whether you choose to believe that or not."

"We love you, Bella…but you've chosen the wrong decision…I've seen it," Alice added softly tapping her temple.

…_You're just running again, like you always do…_Tanya said silently.

"I can't believe this shit! You're going to stay, for him?"

"It's not just him," Jasper spoke up. "It's more than that, Bella."

"What do you mean more?" I asked, looking around the room and hearing nothing but silence, mentally and verbally.

"Alice had another vision," Carlisle said. I nodded, waiting. "The Volturi will be coming soon…Esme has decided to go to them."

"Why would she fucking go there?" I asked, my mind a whirlwind of fuckery until it finally hit me. "_Edward_."

"They're going to come for him, Bella. They're going to come for him and kill him," Alice cried, her voice shaking. "Esme intends to lie to them…I saw it…I think she wanted me to."

"When? When is she going to them?" I asked, my body alight with rage.

"Tomorrow…she's already in Italy and will see Aro in the morning. She will lead them to believe that Edward is an immortal child…and Aro will want him eradicated as soon as possible." Alice hit me with the visions she had seen; Esme bowed before Aro in a submissive position giving every detail she could in regards to Edward.

"But Edward is not a child! Wont Aro see that when he takes Esme's fucking hand?" I was infuriated, my body trembling. I had first-hand knowledge of the talents Aro possessed. With a simple touch he could see everything anyone had ever seen; everything experienced. There was no way he wouldn't see that Edward was an adult...it just wasn't possible.

_Unless…_

"This gives us even more reason to leave," I stammered, uncertainty overwhelming me.

"Are you fucking _kidding_ _me_?" Emmett asked sarcastically.

"You want us to leave Edward, _alone_, unprotected?" Jasper sneered, a growl rising from his chest. "Have you lost your fucking mind? Maybe there was more damage done to you by James then we originally thought."

"No, I haven't lost my mind. I've merely woken up, Jasper."

"Woken up? Bella, you're so deluded it's pathetic," Tanya hissed.

I watched my siblings, including Tanya. All of them completely disgusted with me; chests heaving, lips curled. My initial plans had been to leave Edward, let him be human, live a normal life away from all this bullshit. But I was certain that no matter what I did, or anyone did for that matter, this life would never leave him be.

So with that knowledge I knew what I had to do. I needed to go to the Volturi myself. Give Aro what he had been asking for decades. Me. And in exchange I would demand Edward's freedom. But first I would hunt down that bitch Esme and rip her to fucking shreds.

"Bella, you can't-" Alice screeched grabbing on to my shoulders.

"What cant she do?" Rosalie asked, stepping forward.

"She's changed her mind, she's going to-"

"Alice…_don't_!" I hissed.

"But, Bella," Alice whined and I hugged her tight before running out the door, my body instinctually headed towards my demise.

It took me only mere minutes to arrive at Edward's house. I knew that he would be arriving home soon. He had decided to return to school, unlike me and my siblings who had not. I waited in his empty driveway, my stomach knotted tightly with what was about to take place, my heart aching and already an empty hole. When the familiar rumble of his Camaro made its presence known, I felt the nausea rise up my throat.

Thanks to Rosalie and her automotive enthusiasm she was able to contact the right people to have Edward's car restored back to its earlier mint condition…something I wish now she had never done; its presence only intensifying my guilt of what I was about to do.

Like a love sick fool I waited and watched as he pulled into the driveway, his eyes already trained on me. He smiled crookedly, but it was wrong, it didn't meet his eyes.

"Huh, what'd I do to deserve this," he said exiting the car and slamming the door shut. "Are we talking again?"

"We never _weren't_ talking, Edward." I retorted as he walked over to me.

"Bullshit, Bella! You've been avoiding me like the fucking plague," he yelled, coming to stand right before me. "Well, come on. Let's talk! I know you have something you want to say to me, so just say it already."

I could see the pain in his eyes, the same pain that was there the other night when we had made love. He knew what was happening…he had to. His cool, hardened façade was just that…a façade, a show for me.

Edward started to walk ahead of me, his tall sinewy frame leading me into the forest surrounding his house. I followed blindly, wanting nothing more than to turn around and forget why I had come in the first place. After a few minutes we were deep into the woods; Edward stopped, turning to face me. He was beyond beautiful, ethereal; a god compared to me.

My shoulders immediately slumped with the weight of guilt when I took in the dark circles beneath his eyes. He hadn't been sleeping, most likely not feeding as well. I tried to shake it off, taking an unneeded deep breath as I tried to locate some courage.

"Just fucking say what you need to say," he spat, diverting his pained eyes away from me.

I took one more breath and began to weave what would forever be the blackest web of lies. "I've decided to leave…what happened the other day…with James and Esme…well, it made me realize that it's time for a change."

"A change, what kind of change?"

"Edward," I sighed sarcastically. "I'm _tired_. I'm tired of pretending to be something I _clearly_ am not. I'm not human, Edward, and you're not completely a vampire. It's just…it's just not working for me anymore."

"Are you fucking serious? Please, tell me you _cannot_ be serious, Bella," he yelled, his eyes building with liquid.

"I mean…of course I'll always love you, Edward…in a way," I lied, dismissing his words and our love as if it had meant nothing to me.

"_What?_" his voice sounded so small as it cracked. "How can you say that?"

"Edward, come on. Did you really think this could work? Me and you?" I pointed between us.

"Yes, I did, Bella! I did believe this could work…it _has_ been working and you fucking know that. We belong together, you're the very best part of my life…you're my only reason to stay alive…if that's what I am."

His words were breaking my resolve too quickly. I needed to end this now before it was too late.

"Edward, that's not enough. It will never be enough…you're just _not_ good for me!"

"You're a fucking liar," he growled, backing away from me. His eyes had gone from liquid jade to hardened emerald, uncomprehending and emotionless.

"Edward, please," I lifted my hands to cup his face one last time but was pushed away.

"No, Bella. You don't get to touch me like that anymore," he nearly cried, pulling both hands through his hair, his eyes frantic. "What you said changes things."

"You're right," I looked down at the ground, watching him shift from foot to foot. "I won't ever put you through anything like this again, Edward. This isn't fair to you…so I-I promise that this will be the last time you ever see me. You can go on with your life now, just like you should have been doing this whole time. You won't have to worry about any further interference from me…you have my word."

"Bella-"

"And over time…you'll forget me. The human part of your memory is like a sieve…it will be like I never existed." I began to walk away, unable to look at him any longer, my chest hurting and ready to implode with the weight of all my lies.

"Bell, don't…," he breathed, grabbing hold of my arm and pulling me to his chest. I looked up and took in the perfect line of his jaw, the stubbled hair that speckled it like brown sugar.

"I'm sorry," I whispered. "I've let this go on for far too long." With that I rose onto my toes and placed a kiss upon his cheek, inhaling his scent one last time.

"Don't do this," he barely breathed, his lips ghosting over my cheek before I could break away.

"I'm so sorry," I repeated, whimpering. I backed away, shaking my head from side to side. "Goodbye, Edward," I said quietly, peacefully. "Please take care of yourself…"

"Wait," he said reaching for me before pressing his fingers to the bridge of his nose in frustration. I watched as he closed his eyes, and in that second I did the hardest thing I ever had to do. I left. Leaving nothing more than a light, unnatural breeze in my wake.

* * *

**A/N:** Okay dont kill me! Come on, you had to know this was going to happen...right?

So next chapter is **EPOV **cause Bella sucks and I cant write a chapter of her moping...Carlisle will reveal Esme's dirty secret, and we take a trip to Italy! Getting close to the end...but not quite.

Every chapter has a banner and can be seen if you go to my facebook page, link is on my profile. The album is accessible to everyone.

HUGS and BEWBIE gropes to all my sissy's and h00rs over at FB ;)


	15. Chapter 15: The Truth

Saying sorry will never be enough! I did not intend to take this long, truly. I hope that those who stuck around find the wait worth it.

This chapter has not been pre-read, or beta'd. I wanted to post it as soon as I got it done.

Thank you to each of you that support MD and leave me your beautiful reviews...you know who you are and I will thank you all personally next chapter.

Now...on with the show..._

* * *

_

_"She shines_  
_in a world full of ugliness_  
_She matters_  
_when everything is meaningless_

_Fragile_  
_She doesn't see her beauty_  
_She tries to get away_  
_Sometimes_  
_it's just that nothing seems worth saving_  
_I can't watch her slip away_

_I won't let you fall apart_  
_I won't let you fall apart_  
_I won't let you fall apart_  
_I won't let you fall apart_

_She reads the minds of all the people_  
_as they pass her by_  
_Hoping someone will see_  
_If I could fix myself I'd..._  
_but it's too late for me_

_I won't let you fall apart_  
_I won't let you fall apart_  
_I won't let you fall apart_  
_I won't let you fall apart_

_We'll find the perfect place to go where we can run and hide_  
_I'll build a wall and we can keep them on the other side_  
_but they keep waiting_  
_and picking_  
_and picking_  
_and picking..._

_It's something I have to do…_  
_[I won't let you fall apart]_  
_I was there too…_  
_[I won't let you fall apart]_  
_Before everything else…_  
_[I won't let you fall apart]_  
_I was like you…_  
_[I won't let you fall apart]_

_**Fragile: Nine Inch Nails**_

_**

* * *

**_

**15. The Truth**

_**~Edward's Point of View~**_

Change was coming. I could feel it, sense it. The night after I had killed James –and Bella and I had made love –I felt it. It wasn't a pleasant prospect…especially when life would now be perfect, _could_ be perfect, the way it was meant to be.

But still it was there. A lingering black cloud; refusing to leave me be. I tried to shake off the feeling, telling myself that it was all in my head.

_You're overreacting_, I scolded internally; forcefully inundating myself in the normal, mundane tasks that suffocated me prior to all the drama that Esme and James unleashed upon mine and Bella's life. I returned to school –having finally received my car back thanks to Rosalie; even though Bella and her siblings didn't. And regardless of their absence, I still made my presence known in the Cullen household every day after classes. And every day Bella found a new method of avoiding me, a new excuse.

My patience was drawing thin. But most of all, my heart was aching. I couldn't even ask her why the sudden change, why the sudden shift in her attitude. She was never there to allow me to. She refused my calls, and avoided my text messages. It was like she was slowly removing herself from my life…day by day, minute by minute. Me, I was utterly confused. We had confessed our love, we _made_ love…I _killed_ for her…and now she was treating me like the pieces of shit we went to Forks High with.

I should have known that something was different when I awoke this morning. It began with a cold sweat; my naked torso tangled within my sheets...the same sheets that not more than a few days before were privy to mine and Bella's lovemaking; her scent now fading, just like her physical presence had begun to do.

Instead of awakening beside the love of my life, I was awoken yet _again_ by another nightmare…this one an extremely vivid account of how I would die, for good. This time my body was on fire, but not in the literal sense; and as I writhed in agony, unseen forces tore at my skin with their teeth. It was nerve wracking, and surreal to say the least.

After shaking off the remnants of my lingering dream, and internally brooding, I finally allowed myself to start the day –a day that would no doubt change my life forever.

As I pulled into the student parking lot of Forks High; Bella along with her siblings were nowhere to be seen, again. The sky was thick with ominous, charcoal clouds; the normal Washington gloom seeming to be more intense than usual, and more than willing to dump its dreary contents on the unsuspecting below.

Something told me to turn around, go home. But like a fool I moved forward, always moving forward. Robotically, I made it through the day, even avoiding snapping Skank-ley's neck when she approached me at lunch.

"So?" her nasally voice had rung while following me into the cafeteria.

"So, _what_?" My reply was sarcastic, as I avoided any and all eye contact.

"You and Cullen, huh?" she nodded towards the now empty table that was usually occupied by my girlfriend and her family.

"That's none of your fucking business."

I stopped, glaring down at her; her chest barely covered as she stuck it out towards me, putting what little she had on display, while her hands gripped her hips in what was a weak attempt at looking in control.

"Yes, it is my business, _Edward_," she huffed, flinging her hair over her shoulder. "I was under the impression that you and _I_ had something going on."

I laughed loudly, throwing my head back in shock. "_We_," I exaggeratedly pointed between us, "don't have anything going on. We _never_ had anything going on. Simply put…I used you, and it worked."

By now most of the students in the surrounding vicinity were watching us, whispering and pointing at Skank-ley's pathetic attempt at redemption; while my devious grin grew with intensity.

"Regardless, I don't like it," she muttered, completely oblivious as she looked around the room at nothing in particular, _now_ clearly embarrassed.

"You don't have to," I snapped, before stalking past her, bypassing the lunch table all together and going out in the torrential downpour to hide in my car.

_I should have just stayed home. _

~x~x~x~

If someone would have told me, that the woman I loved was planning to rip my heart from my chest and use it for target practice –I would have laughed in their face.

I don't think any type of life lesson, or after-school special for that matter, could have prepared me for what Bella was about to do…

"Don't do this," I breathed, feeling the chill of her cheek against my lips as I breathed her in, refusing to let her go.

But she already had, and her resolve was unwavering as she backed away from my warm embrace; her face a serene mask, lacking any life, any emotion. I could barely catch my breath, the air caught in my throat. My saliva had thickened, and uneasiness erupted in my stomach causing me to swallow harshly: an attempt to keep my stomach contents where they belonged.

"I'm so sorry," she repeated. The same words she said just minutes before were nothing now but a whispered keening.

She stepped back further, my arms reaching for the empty air as she shook her head from side to side, telling me '_no'_ without words. "Goodbye, Edward," her voice was so quiet, yet eerily peaceful. "Please take care of yourself…"

"Wait," I managed to yell from my strangled vocal chords, anger building in me as I extended my open hand once more to her. When she refused, my frustration soared, quickly consuming me.

Out of habit, I pressed my fingers to the bridge of my nose, huffing out the breath I had been holding while pinching my eyes shut momentarily. It was only a second that I closed my eyes, a needed moment of reprieve, a quick respite to gather my frenzied thoughts…but that was all it took…a moment, because when I opened my eyes once more she was gone.

My love…my life…my meaning…_gone_.

Stunned, I stood there for a few minutes. My mouth literally agape as my eyes circled the plush green surrounding me.

"Please, tell me this is a joke," I said aloud to no one in particular, well aware that Bella had indeed left me alone in the forest.

_I am the joke_…I thought finally, saddened; the reality of its truth confounding, debilitating. I could feel the waves of pain and panic threatening to pull me under; knowing that if I let them I would never resurface.

_She left me to drown._

"_Fuck_," I growled, as a torrent of fury washed over me. With fists clenched I took a deep breath and began to walk towards the direction of the Cullen home.

Bella's scent was still fresh in the air; light, and barely discernable –but I stopped my course and began to follow it anyway. My train of thought was such that if I could just catch up with her, I could confront her for her weakness and blatant disregard of my feelings.

I wasn't stupid. I knew every word she said was an outright lie. A child's fable…and to her, _I_, the child in need of coddling. Her infatuation with protecting me had taken her to ridiculous heights, and I had fucking had enough.

So with my adrenaline surging and my body alight with determination, I followed what little I could taste of her in the air into the depths of the forest; the evidence of her path disappearing instantaneously. There were no foot prints, only the ever present subtlety of her lingering scent. It taunted me, mocked me; dragging me forward, leading me further and further into a green abyss. Each trail, each path, an inevitable dead end.

I literally walked in circles, screaming her name with vehemence, following her dying fragrance till the sky had grown black. My jaw was hurting from the constant tension, my fists near frozen in their balled position. The poor saplings and Fern's surrounding me splintered and bowed in the wake of my anger.

I was certain that going back to her house would be a lost cause. Her family wouldn't be there. They would support her decision to leave, even if asinine and uncalled for. And they sure as hell wouldn't stay for my sake. I was a no-body. A defective, preternatural being that would only bring more chaos into their perfect, pristine lives. But then suddenly, a thought hit me, her words to be more precise…

"…_I promise that this will be the last time you ever see _me_…You won't have to worry about any further interference from _me_…"_

Not once in her deceit did she mention her family…only her. With that realization I ran towards the Cullen home with vigor, praying that my gut was right, that _someone_ was there that could help me to understand. Because I refused to believe a word she said. And no one could change that.

~x~x~x~

When I reached the tree line surrounding the Cullen's massive house I unintentionally let out a gasp. Every light in every room had been lit. The house shined like the fiery sun in the pitch black of night. Slowly, I made my way up the gravel driveway; the rocks crunching beneath the soles of my feet, breaking the deafening silence that surrounded me and alerting any vampires within of my presence.

"He's _here_!" I heard Alice cry as her lithe frame flew through the now open doorway, before moving with unseen speed to my side. "We were so worried, Edward!" her voice wailed as she pulled me into her hardened grip. She held me for a second, whispering her apologies. Her cold, tiny frame familiar but wrong…so completely wrong.

"I'm fine," I breathed, unraveling her arms from my waist.

"Sorry," she muttered as she pulled away, slightly embarrassed. By now, and to my amazement, Emmett, Jasper, and Carlisle were making their way slowly to where Alice and I stood; trepidation clearly written on their faces. Jasper and Emmett both nodded their hellos, while Carlisle came beside me and wrapped his arm around my shoulder in a fatherly embrace, directing me forward towards the house.

"Come on, son," he said with kindness, "there's much to discuss."

Inside I was met with the worried faces of Rosalie, and Tanya. Rosalie quickly had me in her arms, and like Alice she whispered words of condolence while spiting the sister who had caused my distress.

'It's fine, Rosalie," I said, once again pulling away from an embrace that only seemed to remind me of the one I was missing. "I'm fine…I'll be fine," I said with false confidence as I looked around the room. The slight grimace on each of their face was enough to tell me that even _they_ didn't believe my lie.

"So," I began hesitantly while sitting down on the sofa. "I'm not going to ask why you're all here, and she's not. But what I do need to know is…where did she _go_?"

Alice sighed, sitting down beside me while the others sat quietly around us. I noticed from the corner of my eye that Carlisle had sat beside Tanya on the small loveseat, their hands intertwined over Tanya's lap. Putting the visual away for later thought I turned to Alice who was busy wringing her hands.

"Bella is on her way to Italy, Edward. She's going to sacrifice herself in your place," she said quietly.

"Sacrifice herself for me? But why, and to _who_?" I asked looking around the room, my eyes falling on Jasper who was encouraging Alice to finish what needed to be said with a nod of his head.

"The Volturi. Esme is on her way there. She will meet with Aro tomorrow, and from what I can see…she intends on telling Aro all about you, leading him to believe you are an immortal child…she is going to use the Volturi as a means to kill you-"

"Her way of getting back at Bella," I said quietly, finishing her sentence.

"Yes, a mate for a mate," Carlisle added, his voice thick with disgust. I turned to face him and watched as Tanya ran her hand down his cheek adoringly; the smile her mere touch elicited from him was staggering.

"Carlisle?" I said; eyeing his and Tanya's clasped hands now in question.

Tanya smiled widely before clearing her throat. "You see, Edward, Carlisle and I have always had an attraction to one another…a connection, you could say," her smile reached her eyes as she cupped his face within her palms. The action caused a sting within my chest, her motions so similar to the ones I had received not long ago. "But circumstances prevented us from exploring just how deep that connection was."

"I was always drawn to her," Carlisle whispered, his eyes never leaving hers. "I should have known long ago…but I was so blind…so wrong."

_So wrong…_Everything about my life was so fucking wrong.

"They're mates," Alice jumped beside me, tapping her head in her all-knowing fashion. "It just took time for them to both see what was always in front of them." Her eyes were full of sadness as she let her words fade. Those same words seemed familiar, but instead of being used in regards to mine and Bella's relationship, they were now being bestowed upon the newly mated happy couple.

_Fucking wonderful._

"So what do we do now?" I huffed, pulling at my hair in frustration.

"We go to the Volturi," Rosalie said simply, walking over to where I sat. "We go there, like the family we are, and we get Bella back."

"I am sure it won't be that easy," I said turning to Alice for answers. Maybe her fortune-telling skills would actually come in useful in a matter that was _actually_ important.

"I can't be sure of the outcome, Edward, I'm sorry. Bella is blocking me from seeing anything, as usual, and what I can see is fuzzy due to her complete indecisiveness. She's giving me a headache, and I am sure she knows it." Alice rubbed her temples in a placating manner, but the grimace on her face told me that it was a wasted effort.

"Alice? Please, let me-"

"No, Jasper. I need to be aware of everything around me. I can't miss anything," she near cried.

"Well, what about Esme? What happens after she goes to Aro?" I asked.

"See that's just it," Alice replied, her eyes glazed in confusion. "I can't see anything beyond her false confession to Aro. I was certain it was because she was blocking me…but I am not so sure now," she concluded biting her lip.

"What do you mean, Alice?" Carlisle asked, leaning forward on his seat. I could clearly see the lines of worry etched upon his once flawless complexion; this development obviously new to him.

"I don't know…something just feels _off_. I am sure once we get closer to Volterra I'll have more of an idea of what's going on."

"So when do we leave?" Emmett piped in from the corner, his arms crossed tightly against his chest. I had forgotten he was even in the room; his usual boisterous behavior was completely subdued. Instead, in its place, was a seriousness I had never seen on him before. It was actually very intimidating, so much so that I had to intentionally look away from him.

"The soonest flight I could get us leaves in three-hours," Tanya answered, getting up.

"And _why_ are we still here?" Emmett retorted with sarcasm, looking around the room.

"Wait, before we all go," Carlisle spoke to the room, his nervous voice stopping us all midstride. "There's something I should tell you all."

"Go on, Carlisle, it's alright," Tanya cooed, soothing the man beside her.

"I knew that Esme had been drinking from humans," he said in a whisper, his head hung low in shame.

"_Carlisle_," Rosalie gasped, her hand going to her open mouth. "How could you have allowed-"

"I didn't allow it, Rosalie, not at first," he said looking around the room. "I began to notice changes in her feeding behavior a few months ago. Whenever I _was_ home she would refuse to hunt with me. She would tell me she had already gone, or she would intentionally lose herself in her decorating work," he swallowed thickly before continuing. "I know I'm not home much, my home is basically at the hospital…she had every opportunity, every chance to meet up with James, to begin feeding upon humans. It wasn't until one night I had come home after doing a double shift…I had just lost a patient, a child…I was in my study, looking over his file, trying to see if I had missed something, _anything_, when I heard her storm into the house. No one else was home…it was right before the new school year had started?" he said with question.

"Well, she came in slamming things…I heard glass break, wood splinter. So I raced down stairs and she _attacked_ me."

"She did _what_?" Rosalie screeched.

"Before I could even acknowledge her movement she had me pinned to the floor beneath her. Her eyes were a dark scarlet. I could _smell_ the fresh blood on her lips…she told me then…_'this is my life now, Carlisle. I refuse to live the life _you_ chose for me, anymore'…_How could I have denied her?" he whimpered. "She was all I had…or so I thought. So I insisted on feeding her habit. I stole blood from the blood bank, an attempt at keeping her from killing…I did what I thought was best at the time…I became her _enabler_…"

"Shh, Carlisle, it's over now," Tanya hushed, embracing him.

"If it means anything," Alice said, "I don't think any of us paid attention…I know I didn't. I mean…I can't even recall seeing a difference…not even her eyes."

"She was very good at concealing her addiction," Carlisle frowned. "She began wearing contacts, making herself scarce…"

We all silently looked to each other with shocked expressions. Not one of us had anything to say. There was nothing _to_ say. We were all aware that Esme's behavior was an extreme disappointment to Carlisle. And there was no need to make the man feel more betrayed or inept than he'd already been feeling. Besides, I may not have known Carlisle long, but I knew that his idealistic persona would have done _anything_ to keep Esme happy…sated…even if it had meant the loss of innocent lives.

_I was _no one_ to judge._

"Well…," Jasper said, breaking the silence. "We really should be going."

~x~x~x~

We had arrived at SeaTac Airport with nearly forty-five minutes to spare thanks to Emmett being behind the wheel. And after going through security we were all safely aboard our last minute first class flight, and prepared for a stagnant four hours ahead of us until we arrived in New York.

After reaching La Guardia airport in New York, and sitting through a short layover, we were headed for Italy. We had literally just taken off when Alice whispered from her seat. "Esme's with Aro now."

There was nothing more, and there wouldn't be. Everything beyond that point was black according to Alice. Not set in stone. Even Bella's future had gone off radar…completely.

_Bella_.

I sighed aloud running my fingers through my hair. I was so tired. Tired of trying to prove myself to her over and over. I would never deny my love for her, or the fact that no matter what happened she would always be my mate. But I was beyond tired…I didn't know if I could fight anymore after this. I didn't know if I _wanted_ to.

We were in the final hour of our flight when Carlisle took the empty aisle seat beside me. I continued my stare out the window, taking in the thick white that dusted the expanse of blue sky before me.

"I know you're angry," he said.

I nodded.

"And you have every right to be. Bella is…well she's a very difficult being to understand."

"That's putting it mildly, don't you think?" I quipped, eliciting a slight chuckle from Carlisle.

"She's always been so overly stubborn, so defiant when it came to wavering in her beliefs. I know she loves you, Edward-"

"Carlisle, her love I can live with it. It's her constant dismissal of _my_ feelings that I cannot," I said with a heavy sigh. "I will always love her…no matter what-"

"But…"

"But I think after all this is done… I think…I need a break," I whispered, trying to muster the confidence needed to follow through with my words.

"I understand," he nodded, brows furrowed in concentration. "Whatever you decide, Edward, please know that we will always be here. We'll support whatever decision you choose. You're part of this family now, Edward, no matter what."

I looked to him and with a nod gave quiet thanks.

"There is one other matter that I need to discuss with you before we arrive in Italy." He looked around the near empty cabin. "I know we discussed the Volturi and their power over our kind," his voice lowered. "But there is one more thing I failed to mention."

"And that is?" I pushed with inquisitiveness.

"Aro is much more than an elder of the Volturi…he is also my sire."

"Oh…"

~x~x~x~

Upon landing in Italy I had already begun to feel the effects of travel, and the numerous confessions I had been subjected to, beginning to take their toll on me. I needed sleep and I needed it now.

As everyone received the keys to their sporty rentals, I immediately opted for the plush leather backseat of the Mercedes Carlisle had chosen as my refuge for the next leg of our trip. And the instant I hit the buttery leather my body melted into it, falling swiftly into a restless sleep…but sleep nonetheless.

I awoke to a soft feminine voice; but cold, hard hands on my shoulders. "Edward, we're here. You need to wake up…._Edward_!" the voice hissed with impatience as my shoulders shook with intensity.

"Wha-" I said groggily, opening my eyes to Rosalie's looming face.

"Come on, we're here. We need to hurry," she said while pulling me from the back seat of the car. When I finally steadied myself I was able to take in my surroundings. Night had already fallen and I was quickly being escorted through what appeared to be a town square of sorts. Swarms of people, all dressed in what appeared to be red cloaks, surrounded me on all sides; their bodies ominously tall –steep, looming shadows like the medieval architecture that framed the surrounding backdrop.

"Am I dreaming?" I asked Rosalie as a man with plastic vampire fangs hissed in my face.

"God, I wish you were," she replied. "I wish we all were. But sadly, no. This, my dear friend is the festival for St. Marcus."

"I'm sorry, the what?" I asked, getting dizzy with the movement and my still sleep induced haze.

"It's St. Marcus' day…the day that St. Marcus rid the city of Volterra of its vampire occupants," she explained with a laugh, stopping for a second to turn and whisper in my ear. "What the humans fail to realize is that St. Marcus, is definitely _not_ a saint. He is a vampire…one of the oldest; Aro's brother and a Volturi elder."

_Will it ever _end_?_

Once we broke through the tsunami of people, Rosalie released my arm, and I followed her at a quickened pace towards a dark and narrow alleyway. Even in the blackness I could make out the figures that were the remaining Cullen's as they waited in its dark recesses.

"Are you ready, Edward?" Carlisle asked, as the ill-omened toll of a clock tower resounded in the restricted space.

"As I'll ever be."

I watched as Carlisle stepped ahead of us, knocking his heavy hand on a thick ornately carved door. Within seconds the door had opened and a tall, tanned female welcomed us in with a calculating smile, leading us through a mutedly lit, narrow corridor.

"Welcome to Volterra, my name is Gianna," she addressed us all, her Italian accent thick; English slightly broken as she motioned us to what appeared to be a reception area. I noticed that as she spoke, she inadvertently kept returning her gaze to my face alone.

"Aro has been expecting you; I'll let him know you have arrived," she added, my discomfort rising. "please, if I can be of any assistance…any at all, please do not hesitate to ask," she finally finished; her eyes fluttering in my direction one last time before walking away from us, leaving us to sit in the ornately decorated lobby.

I sat upon an oxblood leather wing back chair with a resounding huff; conscious of the fact that I was practically the only one breathing in the room. The turn of the century art pieces that hung around me only intensified my unease as I squirmed in my seat under what felt like their intense scrutiny.

"_What_?" I glared at everyone surrounding me, their stares burning through my already clammy skin.

Tanya snickered behind her palm. "Edward, you look a little pale."

"Fuck you."

Gianna was only at her desk for mere minutes before she was up again and walking back towards our direction. She quickly let us know that Aro was ready to see us, this time ushering us all with the wave of her tiny hand down another ominous corridor. When we came to the end we were greeted by two very large male vampires, both with vibrant scarlet eyes.

"Felix…Demetri," Carlisle greeted with a nod of his head. "It's been too long."

"Yes," the shorter of the two replied, a tight smile on his lips. "You shouldn't stay away for so long, you know how it upsets father."

Carlisle only shook his head as the man he was speaking to pulled two, connecting heavy doors open with ease. As soon as the doors were open I smelled it. It hit me like an anvil. _Bella_. I scanned the large room quickly before allowing my eyes to fall on the sight before me. Bella, wrapped in the blackest coal of cloaks, knelt by who I could only assume to be Aro's, side.

"_Bella_," I yelled, pushing my way past Carlisle and Tanya. I could feel Rosalie's grip on my arm, and her breathless whisper "_don't_" while Emmett pulled her back telling her to, _"let him be;"_ before I was barricaded from reaching my destiny due to Felix and Demetri.

"Let me through you assholes," I spat, pushing the monsters before me not even a hairsbreadth.

"Yes, let him through," a soft male voice spoke from the dais located at the front of the room where Bella knelt in supplication. I ran past the two idiots and skidded to a halt before the man who had just spoken. He stood tall, hovering over me while on his platform. My eyes wandered from his eerie smile to Bella's submissive position; her eyes downcast.

"Bella, look at me," I begged but she remained frozen in her position.

"Ah, so the prodigal son has finally come home to where he belongs," Aro said, interrupting my intense gazing of Bella; while extending his open palm to me.

"What did you just _say_?"I stepped back, not allowing him access to any part of me. Or at least that's what I told myself I was doing knowing that he had the power to destroy me within seconds.

"I knew you'd eventually find your way to me, Edward. It was only a matter of time…well, just the other day-" he stopped, looking around the room with amusement, fixing his stare on an obscure corner. Suddenly, a man entered the chamber from where Aro had been watching.

"What the _fuck_?" I hissed, my teeth immediately clenching, my body crouching and ready to attack.

"_Azrael_?" I heard Tanya's soft whimper, and the remaining Cullen's gasp at the man who had just graced us with his unwanted presence.

"Just the other day you were saying, Aro, how nice it would be to have Edward home," he said with an air of nonchalance as he made his way beside Aro; the click of his shoes drowning out the sound of my thudding heart.

"Please, take my hand son," Aro asked calmly, again inviting me to place my hand within his own.

"Fuck you. Fuck you _both_," I sputtered, looking past the man who was literally my mirror image, to the woman I had come to rescue. "Come on Bella, enough now, get up it's time to go home."

Azrael laughed, as Aro shook his head with a grimace. "I'm sorry young Edward but that will not be possible…not without a price."

"Aro, maybe you can explain what's going on, for all of our sakes," Carlisle asked, stepping forward and extending his hand to Aro.

"Yes, Carlisle. How long has it been since you've been to see me, my son?"

"Too long, father," Carlisle replied with a tight jaw. Aro gripped Carlisle's palm and closed his eyes, his facial emotions changing with every passing image.

"You know I never doubted you, my son," Aro said looking to Carlisle. "But your wife…" he said shaking his head as he released Carlisle's hand before coming to stand before me.

"Your father and I have been searching for you for many years, Edward. But you have always seemed to find a way to evade even my best trackers. Isn't that right, Demetri?" The taller, thicker of the two vampires who had led us in earlier nodded in obvious shame, before looking away. "But that all changed when I received and alarming phone call from one, Esme Cullen, a few weeks ago. She informed me that there was an immortal child still _alive_!" he gasped mockingly, grabbing his empty chest. "Of course you know I had to see this for myself…My curiosity owns me, I admit. But never did I expect to see what she had to show me," he finished with a lecherous smile.

Azrael grinned proudly looking like the proud father he wasn't. "You do know the story of the immortal children, don't you, son?"

"I am _not_ your son." Malice dripped from my tongue.

"Well, Tanya knows the story…don't you, _dear_?" he asked sweetly, eyeing Tanya with feigned interest. "Well, we should probably start with Sasha, Tanya's mother." He licked his lips, "she was always so giving, so easily manipulated." He stopped looking directly at Tanya now. "It was a real shame she had to die-"

"You son of a _bitch_," Tanya screamed, her body being held back by Jasper and Emmett.

"Carlisle, control your little wench or else I will," Azrael threatened, causing Carlisle to tense beside me. "As I was saying, before being so rudely interrupted. Sasha had to be killed. She knew too much when it came to the immortal children. See, what all of you failed to learn in your vampiric upbringings, and ridiculous history lessons, was that Aro and I had worked together to create a _super-race_ of vampires…also known as the _immortal_ children. Supernatural beings that were not completely human, and not fully vampire. Of course some of them were just vampiric children…but we were more interested in those with beating hearts. Their human façade allowed them to coexist beside humans…live _normal_, everyday lives but still retain the power and speed of a full blood."

"_Normal_? You call this fucking _normal_?" I was seething, pointing to myself in frustration.

"Well," Azrael swallowed, "we were not prepared for some of the minor imperfections, like the permeability of the skin…"

"Am I the only one?" My body trembled; fearful that I already knew the answer.

"Of course you're not the _only_ one," Aro chuckled, his milky, yet burgundy eyes shining with clouded excitement. "However, you are the only _one_ that is gifted. Thanks to Esme and our dear Isabella here, I was able to see that you are quite special…just like your father."

"Please, forgive me for interrupting," Carlisle said. "But you're basically saying that there are more Halflings, like Edward."

"_More_?" Azrael answered snidely. "Of course there are more…_much_ more. Each one a Volturi soldier, each one strategically located around the globe."

"And are you…?" I glared at Azrael, swallowing the vomit that was making its way up my throat.

"No." Aro said, "You, my dear Edward are the only child of Azrael's…that survived."

Even though I knew that there were more like me out there, each one living the same heinous life as me; I still selfishly felt a pang of relief. Relief, that unlike the other children he created…I was alive, even if half.

"We've been waiting for you for some time, Edward. When you killed one of my best men, last April, I knew your powers and strength were extraordinary!" Aro said as he turned to face a still, statuesque and submissive Bella. "When I saw through Isabella's thoughts, her inability to read you, I knew that you were beyond what I…what _we_," he glanced at Azrael, "could have ever imagined possible."

"I'm not some fucking lab experiment."

"No, no you're not, Edward," Aro replied emphatically, though I could see the mischievousness behind is murky eyes building. "Please, Edward…may I?" he asked again, extending his paper thin hand. I glanced once more at Bella, her head tilted slightly upward; just enough to give me a small nod, pleading my acquiescence.

I placed my now balmy hand into Aro's empty, frigid palm. Immediately Aro pulled me closer, his grip tightening by the second. I watched in rapt fascination as he clenched his eyes shut, while his already wrinkled brow creased further.

"Is something wrong?" I asked with fake interest, but was met with silence and an even tighter, relentless grip.

Flustered, Aro released my hand. And with a sigh he called over his shoulder. "Jane?"

As the words left his lips a small woman appeared; her blonde hair pulled tightly into a bun, her eyes black as coal. "Yes, father," she answered with the sweetest of innocence.

"Be a dear, please," Aro said, motioning to me with his head.

"_No_!" Bella screamed, jumping from her once steadfast position, her arms outstretched as if to block whatever was planned to come my way.

"Hush, hush, child," Aro waved his hand flippantly at Bella. "I am almost certain that this will be a wasted effort on Jane's part. But there is no harm in trying," he smiled, rubbing his thin hands together. "Jane."

I watched the small woman as she focused her intense gaze on me. Her face scowled, serious. After a few moments her scowl became an even tighter grimace, and minutes after that she was growling and hissing in utter frustration.

"See," Aro applauded with glee. "I do so love a happy ending; don't you Azrael?"

"Indeed I do," the monster answered with just as much enthusiasm.

Aro sighed, his fingers steepled before him tapping his pale lips. "Unfortunately though, not all stories can have a happy ending now can they? Felix, fetch the prisoner please?"

Moments later Felix was dragging in a disheveled and dirt covered Esme into the room; forcefully placing her on her knees before Aro. Carlisle and I both took a step back as did Bella who was still upon the dais.

"P-p-please," she begged, raising her bound wrists toward Aro.

"Please what dear child?" he cooed before striking her dirt caked cheek, knocking her over.

Esme regained composure then looked around the large room with frantic blood filled eyes. "_You_," she growled, pointing a restrained yet shaky finger in my direction. "This is all _your_ fault, you defective piece of-"

Without so much as a blink of an eye Aro had grabbed her face, squeezing her cheeks, and effectively stopping her from speaking any further. His talon-like fingernails punctured her steely skin with ease, leaving crimson rivers to cascade over her now jaundiced flesh.

"_Never_ raise your voice in my presence, or in my chamber. Do you understand me?" he asked with narrowed eyes. Esme whimpered her reply while Aro refused to let her face go. "Your deceit is what has placed you in the predicament before you. And it is because of such deceit and your intention of harming _my_ grandson…" He stopped abruptly, looking directly towards me.

_What the fuck! _

"Don't look so surprised my dear, Edward," he chortled lightly, fingers still implanted in Esme's jaw. "I have sired thousands in my time; your father, Azrael, included. Technically, you are all my grandchildren." He smiled, showing his piercing white teeth. "Now," he continued looking down upon Esme, both hands now cupping her face in a gentle gesture.

"You know what has to happen now, don't you?" he asked, his hands gently stroking her hair.

"N-n-n-o, pleaasssse, I'll do a-a-anything," she cried, her pleas echoing off the cathedral walls before the only sound to be heard was the deafening tearing of flesh.

Then there was silence.

It happened so suddenly. If not for the part of me that was inhuman, I would have missed it altogether. Missed the way Aro gripped Esme's head, just right. And with a delicate twist of his wrist, tore her head off with ease.

I felt Carlisle tremble beside me as we watched her now decapitated body fall limply to the marble floor below. Her blood, oozing lethargically upon the glistening sandstone pooling around her now lifeless form. Disgusted, Aro dropped Esme's severed head with a resounding thud, leaving his empty hands held out before him, repulsed.

Within seconds, and without a word, a little old woman, cloaked in the same black cloth as the rest of his guard, was washing his hands for him. He smiled contently as she poured water from an ivory pitcher upon his hands, the red tinged liquid collecting in a matching basin she held below them. In the forefront, Esme's body was already being removed, and the gleaming floors already shined to their prior state.

"That is enough," he said kindly to the old woman before tapping her shoulder with his fingers for her to withdraw.

"Thank you, Master." Her words were but a strained whisper, but the awakening reminder I needed that there was still a dire situation that needed attending to.

"I want you to release Bella," I said with firmness.

"And why should we do that, Edward?" Azrael asked, his eyebrow raising inquisitively. It was frightening to look upon him; the similarities between us were alarming.

"Because, she's not who you _really_ want."

"Edward, _don't_!" Bella called out and Aro raised his open palm gesturing her to stop.

"Edward, I have been trying to covet precious Isabella here for nearly a century. I assure you, I _want_ her," Aro replied with a sinister smile. "Besides, she has already sacrificed herself to save _you_."

"No, I don't want to be saved. Take me. Do what you want, what you wish. Just let her go, _now_," I said through gritted teeth.

"Edward, what are you doing? Please, stop!" Bella cried again, stepping forward now. Her body was only a foot away from mine; hidden behind Aro's threatening frame, but I couldn't deny the feeling coursing through my skin.

"Oh my…" A strange voice said, breaking my trance with Bella. I looked past Bella to the man who had spoken. His skin translucent like that of an onion, hair pin straight long and raven black. He tilted his head to the side, eyes narrowed. I could feel him looking straight through me, right to my core.

"Dear brother, don't you see it?" he said.

"See what, Marcus?" Aro asked exasperated.

"The bond before you," Marcus continued, standing up from the throne he had been quietly slouched upon till moments ago. "These two are bonded, _mated_."

"And what is your point?"

"You would be so cruel as to separate these two…_soul-mates_?" Marcus asked astounded.

"Please, don't listen to Edward, Aro," Bella said, ignoring Marcus' uncanny perception. Her voice was timid, a shyness I had never seen. She stared at his back, avoiding any and all eye contact with me. "My offer remains the same. Let my family go now, please."

Aro turned around so that he was now facing Bella. Slowly, he raised his open palm, resting it upon her cheek. I wanted to rip _his_ head off for touching her, for even looking at her. What gave him the right to decide anyone's fate, especially my Bella's?

"Oh, sweet Isabella." He stroked her cheek placatingly. "It pains me to see you suffer so. Dear child, your sacrifice means more to me then imaginable…and in time, I will expect it from you. But not this time. Not now."

"_Please_," she moaned.

"You must understand, Isabella. Edward's life has always been forfeit. It has always been _mine_ to covet." I bit my tongue, knowing where he was going with this. "There is nothing that could change that, including your sacrifice." Aro finished, gently unclasping the hook that held Bella's cloak together.

"You used _me_," she sobbed quietly, her eyes filled with tears that would never shed, the heavy cloak fell to the floor; releasing her of Aro's prison.

"And you my child helped _me_…now I'll leave you to say your goodbyes," Aro said addressing me, before he and a widely grinning Azrael walked away.

"Why, _Edward_?" Bella wept, throwing her arms around my neck. I held her tightly. My arms woven around her small waist. I inhaled her scent, while memorizing the way her body felt in my arms; knowing that this would be the last I'd ever feel such ecstasy.

"Because I don't want to fight anymore…_I_ am making the choice now. And I choose _your_ life."

Before I could say another word, Bella was being pulled away from me by Felix. He and Demetri was already in the process of escorting the remaining Cullen's through the same doors we had passed through earlier.

Bella was wriggling and pulling away from Felix who had now picked her small body up by the waist, an attempt to physically remove her. I fought the urge to run to her, to _kill_ him, to say fuck it all and say screw this whole deal I just made. But I knew I couldn't. I knew this needed to be done. This was closure. Closure for the life I should have never lived. Closure for the excruciating death my mother should have never experienced. But most of all…closure, for the love I will never have or deserve to experience ever again.

"_Edward_," Bella called out, twisting in vain in Felix's thick arms. Her arms outstretched, hands open, grabbing at the empty air…just like I had done while in the forest…grabbing for her, begging her to stay.

As the double doors slowly closed before me, Bella and her family being led away right before my very eyes; I wanted to run. I wanted to hold her once more, to kiss her, taste her, and_ breathe_ her. But I held myself back, I refrained; only allowing myself a whispered "_I love you, Bella_, _always_" to pass my lips as the heavy doors connected with a resonating click.

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Next chapter is the last... :((( Next update will NOT take as long as this one, I promise!


	16. Chapter 16: Time Passes

***sniffles* so this is it…I never imagined it would take a damn YEAR to write this fic. And I apologize to everyone for my epic failure in posting delays. It was never intentional. **

**I realize there were many reviews that I did not reply to for last chapter. If ffn(dot)net would get there shit together I would have received notice of them…again NOT intentional. **

**See you all below…THANK YOU!**

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"_If I was your vampire  
Certain as the moon  
Instead of killing time  
We'll have each other until the sun  
If I was your vampire  
Death waits for no one  
Hold my hands across your face  
Because I think _our time has come_…"_

_**If I Was Your Vampire: Marilyn Manson**_

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**16. Time Passes**

_**~Denali, Alaska: Four years later**_

_Twilight_.

The safest and easiest time of day for a vampire, but also the saddest. Each dusk a jarring reminder that another day has passed, and that another is not looming too far behind.

There had once been a time when I abhorred the darkness, the loneliness; begging for the blinding light of day even if mundane because I knew he'd be there…he was always there. But _now_…now the predictable nights return was my welcomed solace and my much needed friend.

Like so many times before, I breathe in the picturesque scene before me, reveling in its surreal beauty. The soft pinks and oranges surrounding me are beginning to fade into the western distance; their departing hues reminding me that in fact time does pass. Though here, atop this snow covered mountain, one would never know.

Behind me a celebration occurs; each moment, each second, has and _still_ is being captured and frozen into future glossy-finished memories; allowing time to cease its dragging lull momentarily. But for me, the spectator, it still moves on lethargically slow and painful; aching like the pulse of blood behind a bruise.

_But pass it does…_

The music still blares, the bass thumping; an unwelcome echo throughout my being. The beautiful gowns that were primped to perfection only hours ago are now wrinkled and forgotten from hours of celebration. Regardless, smiles are still worn. Words of praise and joy are still spoken, and familial bonds continue to strengthen further.

For all intents and purposes I had sworn to myself that today would not be like every other day. I had made a promise to myself that I would not allow one second to be wasted on my transgressions –at least if not for myself then for my family. But of course, just like yesterday, and the day before that…I can't. I can't stop thinking of Edward. I _won't_ stop thinking of Edward.

Because_ his memory is all I have left…_

Feeling defeated, a normal emotion for me, I try in vain to calm the anxiety that is threatening to take over my body. Thankfully, Alice is too occupied with the guests to take notice of my ever decreasing layer of lipstick. Though, I can't say the same for my teeth that are now covered in sheer rouge due to my incessant biting.

The cake has been cut, the bouquet thrown –leaving me to my own devices. I am now merely waiting, patiently, for my allowed dismissal.

Before me the sun slowly crosses the sky, its final time for the day. I watch as it nestles itself into the distant horizon, its final rays catching the crystalline snow below. In the near distance an obscured patch of barely visible snow catches my attention. It's glimmering steadily in the lingering sunlight. Hillside shrubs and black cottonwood trees shroud the area from prying eyes. And even with my heightened vision I can barely make out what is more than likely a large, embedded, glittering stone refracting what little light remains. It appears to be deeply buried within the snow, and within seconds its sheen fades just like the setting sun; the darkened sky casting quickly an ominous shadow upon the once sparkling blemish.

Above me the iridescent stars begin to shine with splendid fervor. I narrow my focus instead on its sea of calm, already distracted from my earlier musing. These same stars have heard my nightly confessions for the past four years now –never questioning, never judging.

I realize I am not completely alone, but am far enough away so that no one will hear just how insane I have become over the years. But I know that I need to release this heavy weight that crushes my chest, even if for just a little while. So I push myself further into the shadows and I begin my nightly ritual the same way I did last night, and the night before that…

"I'm sorry, Edward."

_Silence_.

Of course I wasn't expecting a reply. I know he's gone –a reality that I caused alone. But I still _refuse_ to accept his absence. I just cannot imagine him never coming back.

"_Bella, I promise…," he had said, hesitating momentarily. "No. I SWEAR that I will never hurt you, NEVER abandon you."_

My body shudders at the reminiscence of past words of promise and his voice. Sigh…his voice; its sateen smoothness is still so precise with perfection in my memories –as if Edward himself were speaking them to me yet again. Nonetheless, he is gone…and as much as I want to _imagine_ his return, I know my thoughts are nothing more than desperate dreams, already shattered and broken.

With a silent sigh I look upon the shimmering specks above me. I imagine that it is Edward's beauty looking down upon me forgivingly as I begin to relive the day's earlier events…trying to include him as if he _were_ still here.

However, all too soon I am interrupted. I can smell her before she approaches. _Tanya_. Her warm vanilla scent wafts over to me in the early evening breeze; the unnatural floral perfume she wears, though pretty, does nothing to hide the innate sweetness that marks her…marks Edward. Quietly, she leans up against the railing of the balcony as I am, her forearms resting before her on the ledge.

"Thank you," she says softly, as she looks out upon the vast expanse below us; her and her sister's, Kate and Irina's many acres of property. I try not to inhale too deeply, not wanting to smell what my body still craves so desperately, even if her scent is miniscule in comparison to Edward's.

"Thank you for what?" I ask, my expression bemused as I turn my head to meet her gaze. I try to stifle the ache in my chest by ignoring it all together –a failed attempt of course.

"For this," she waves her hand behind her where all our friends and family are happily celebrating. "You and Alice did a beautiful job. Carlisle and I love it."

She begins to sob, dramatically pulling a baby-blue handkerchief that has been monogrammed with Carlisle's initials from her bosom. I smirk, shaking my head as I watch her softly press the corner of each eye as to not damage her makeup –though collecting nothing.

_Some things never change…_I think to myself with a laugh.

I know her emotions are nothing but joyful as she leans into me playfully; our naked, strapless shoulders touching. It took us so long to get back to _this_, our easy friendship…_too_ long.

"It was a beautiful service, Tanya," I say with pride. "I'm so happy for both of you."

_And I am that's not a lie. _

After being forced from Volterra, my obvious plans a complete failure; I was made aware of the extent of Tanya and Carlisle's relationship. And like the selfish, petulant child I was…I trivialized their emotions and left. My belief at the time was such as: why should _I_ be the only one to suffer?

_I was beyond warped. _

I needed to be alone. So I did just that; leaving my family so that I could get my shit together. I traveled around the globe. Living off the grid, in unimaginable conditions. I didn't deserve the life of luxury. I didn't deserve to live comfortably while Edward was going through god knows what. But in the end not even my own personal exile worked. Nothing worked. My life was over.

I know I was the catalyst for my own demise. I didn't need a fucking seer as a sister to know that. I made some horrible mistakes in regards to my family, to myself…but most of all to Edward.

_Edward_…

Even thinking _his name_ educes such strong emotions. I won't lie and say I haven't tried to erase his memory and all that it encompasses from my entire being. For so long I have tried to forget him: his face, his voice. I've _tried_ to move on. What a fucking fool I was to think that _that_ would work. The more I tried to forget him, the more my vampiric memory would torture me…over and over.

Still, to this day, his beautiful face assaults me whenever I close my eyes. His voice echoes like a siren within my head…mind you it is a heavenly torture, but a torture nonetheless.

I didn't _forget_ Edward. I _could never_ forget him. Over the years, I have only grown to love him even more. Even with the knowledge that I will never again be able to tell him just how much; let alone apologize for all my faults.

I still remember it like it was just yesterday. The moment I had given up any and all attempts to wipe Edward and all recollection of him from my mind. I had gone to Alice pleading and begging for her to help me. My regrets had weakened me, but it was my ever increasing love for Edward that helped me to actually open my eyes.

I just needed _something_. A glimmer, a thought. _Anything_ that would tell me he was okay…_alive_.

"_Please, Alice." I cried. "I know you can do this. Try to see Aro, Azrael, _anyone_!"_

_Alice looked at me with a pained expression on her pale face. "Bella, it's not that I don't want to. Believe me, I do. It's that I can't…all I see is black. It's _always_ black."_

I know I am responsible for the events that led to that fateful day. If not for my complete disregard of Edward's feelings, and strength, we might possibly be celebrating our own wedding right now. Either way, that was the last and only time I had asked Alice anything in regards to Edward. I knew the strength of Aro's talents, as well as Edwards…we would never know how he was. _I_ would never know…unless I was meant to. And to make matters worse, I could never go back to Volterra now unless personally requested…Aro's last parting words relayed by Felix as he dumped me in the darkened ally outside their hidden lair.

"If_ and _when_ Aro requires your services," Felix said with a smile, "I'll be sure to fetch you personally." _

After my one and only pleading fit towards Alice, and coming up empty handed; I did my best to remain out of Alice's head, allowing her _and_ the rest of my family the privacy they so desperately deserved. It was hard…for all of us. Their sometimes virulent thoughts would hit me out of nowhere, never ceasing to remind me of my wrongdoings –all of which I will no doubt pay for, for all eternity.

"Are you alright?" Tanya asked, pulling me from my reflections.

"Sorry, I guess I kind of zoned there for a second." She shook her head and smiled tightly –she knew but would never push.

"Hey, I know you wanted to head out early. But I know Carlisle still wants to have a dance with his daughter," she giggled. "You were his first born, you know?"

"Yes, and he never fails to remind me," I looked towards the party solemnly. "I'm going to miss him, miss you both."

Tanya rubbed my shoulder soothingly. "Bella, you act like you'll never see us again. It's just an extended honeymoon," she laughed wistfully.

"A year on an island is _more_ than an extended honeymoon, Tanya."

She laughed lightly before pulling me in for a hug. "Sorry, I'm being over dramatic," I said with a shrug. As much as I selfishly wanted both Carlisle and Tanya to stay, I knew they needed this break more than anyone.

The past two years that I had been back home were tense to say the least. It took a lot for my family to trust me again. I had hurt them, all of them. Yet they still stood by me, forcing me with their love out from the life of solitude I was living –while helping me mend a broken heart that could never possibly heal.

My family had become my backbone. So, now that two of them were leaving, even if temporary…the loss was being felt exponentially.

I held my shoulders back high and took a deep breath, trying to appear confident. A very faint musky, yet sweet scent entered my nostrils with the crisp air, bringing forth an immediate response of goose-bumps to rise upon my skin.

"Do you smell _that_?" I asked, eyes wide, nostrils flared at the wind. Tanya looked at me pensively, deep concern etched within her brow, sadness glazing her eyes.

"No," she answered flatly with a quick shake of her head, sniffing at the air while her body began to retreat slowly. "I don't smell anything unusual."

"Hmm, are you sure?" I asked again, leaning over the wooden ledge, peering out into the darkened landscape. My body was on alert, trembling slightly with a buzz of anticipation; my subconscious failing to believe that what had passed my senses was nothing more than a fleeting perfume.

_I _knew_ that smell…_

"Listen, take a moment, Bella. I'll let Carlisle know you'll be there soon, ok?"

"Thanks, Tanya. I just need to shake this weird feeling," I explained, glancing at her momentarily. She smiled softly then began to walk away.

"Hey Tanya," I called out to her causing her to turn back around; her snow-white gown pirouetting around her.

"Yeah?"

"You make a gorgeous bride."

It was true. She was absolutely stunning. Carlisle was having a hard time keeping his thoughts pure and his eyes off his new wife…but too often his thoughts escaped him…I couldn't blame him.

…_thank you…_She thought before walking away.

I watched as her form gracefully merged into the melee of party guests. Carlisle sensing her return immediately dove upon her, literally sweeping her off her feet. His smile was pure elation, as was her own. I was truly happy he found what had been missing for so long: happiness and _love_.

_Too bad I would never find my own._

Turning around with a heavy sigh I returned to my hidden post. My periwinkle, chiffon gown pressed against the sturdy rail as my upper body leaned onto the ledge. The sun had been completely set for a few minutes now, and the indigo blue canvas above was filled with welcomed darkness.

Allowing myself one more minute to clear my senses and bask in the serenity of silence before having to return to the chaos of people's thoughts; I closed my eyes, and inhaled deeply. The aroma I had smelled just minutes before had returned with a cloying vengeance –it had gotten closer.

Quickly, I opened my eyes, taking in my surroundings. I paced the perimeter of the blackened outer deck; my body and my senses alive for the first time in so long. I could sense someone was there, _definitely_ a vampire, a male, and one who had _not_ been involved in the festivities of the day.

I tried to listen to any thoughts he may have been projecting; drowning out the sounds behind me so that my focus was firmly situated on this uninvited guest. But as hard as I tried I just couldn't read him. The scent was more than familiar, agonizingly so; its sweetness rested on the tip of my tongue. As soon as I returned to where I had been standing just moments before, my world imploded on itself.

_Edward_. It was his scent, but it _wasn't_…it was missing _something._

I laughed aloud when I realized that I was more than likely experiencing some form of delusional psychosis. It wouldn't be the first time. Tanya would have noticed another vampire, especially one who had not been invited.

The thought of just how fucking absurd my mental state had become had me nearly cackling in the dark corner. _Yeah, this looks healthy_. Who would have thought that vampires could go crazy over phantom scents? But something still didn't sit right. No matter how much I tried to deny what I felt, or what I smelled, it was still all too familiar…

"Fuck!" I growled, shoving myself away from the rail. "Why can't you just be here? I just…I just wish I had one more moment with you. There's so much I need to say…but, I need you _here_…with _me _to do that," I whispered to the chilly air, hanging my head, finally allowing my sadness to swallow me whole.

…_I am…_A rogue thought answered, the voice melodic and sweet.

"_What_?" I asked, looking around in utter frenzy now. The voice, _that_ voice…

"I _am_ here. I have been…for a few hours now," he said, as he made his presence known amongst the shadows, though remaining in the distance; head hung low, face hidden.

"I-I-don't-" I couldn't even form a coherent thought. Was this some _sick_ fucking joke?

…_understand?..._he thought, completing my sentence.

I growled in frustration. "Stop it! This is insane," I screeched, pulling on my hair, my thickened curls falling flat within my tightened palm.

"I don't know who the fuck you think you are," I hissed low so as to not draw unneeded attention. "But…_whoever_ you are, or are trying to be…_leave now_."

"Bella…" he said softly, with reverence, and I nearly collapsed. It was definitely Edward's voice but it was so much _more_. It was melodic, and smooth, and its velveteen texture wrapped itself around my being like a sweet caress.

Oh my god…_Azrael!_

"_Please_, I am begging you…_go_," I choked, realization dawning on me now as to who exactly was standing before me. I could feel what little remained of my heart shattering within me as I fought to stay strong. "You have no right to be here, _Azrael_. None. At all." My teeth were clenched so tightly I was sure they would crack as I turned towards the ongoing party, ready to scream for my family.

But something made me stop…an image, thrown at me like a javelin; the first image and what I saw subsequently knocking me to the floor in pure anguish, leaving me gasping for air like a fish out of water.

_Edward being dragged by Felix and Demetri into a dark, dungeon-like room as soon as me and my family were disposed of. _

_Edward being stripped to nothing while rusted, metal cuffs were forced upon his pallor wrists and ankles. His body held taut against a cold, grimy, limestone wall by chains; shivering, lips already blue from the dank coldness._

"_Please_…I can't," I cried, wanting the barrage of visuals to stop. My chest was so constricted; my silent sobs catching in my throat as my body sat crouched over on the wood planks beneath me, my head cradled in my hands.

…_I'm sorry…you need to see…_he thought quietly before continuing with his mental assault.

"_Oh, look…he's ready," Aro had said; his voice enthusiastic as he and Azrael stepped before a naked and restrained Edward._

"_Fuck you!" Edward spat, venom spewing from his mouth with force. Aro wiped the offending liquid from his face before slapping Edward with enough vigor to knock his head into the brick surrounding him._

"_I suggest you play nice, Edward. Unless you want to suffer…you don't want to suffer now do you?" Aro smirked, nodding towards Azrael who was busy setting up a table with what appeared to be large syringes filled with an unknown substance. _

"_What do you want from ME?"_

"_Edward…your father and I had always known that you held such immense power, strength…most of which you aren't even aware of. Which truth be told, is such a shame. But, no more. The time has come for you to take your rightful place where you belong."_

"_Let me guess. My rightful place is here, right?" Edward seethed, struggling in his restraints. _

"_I have no doubt that you will be my most formidable guardsman," Aro replied confidently. "_But_…in order to tap into your full potential you must complete the transformation," Aro further explained with nonchalance._

"Transformation_?" Edward yelled. "Are you both fucking idiots? I thought you _wanted_ me this way! Besides, I can't be changed, _assholes_! Don't you think I've tried? For fuck's sake…Bella drank from me constantly…I drank from her…"_

"_Shh, my son," Azrael said coming closer, pushing a metal cart topped with medical devices and the same pre-filled syringes Edward had noticed earlier. "It's not that you can't be changed…it's just that your body requires a large amount of venom to do so." _

"_So that's your master plan, inject me with a massive amount of venom?" Edward asked flabbergasted. _

_Aro scoffed, feigning sincerity. "No, dear child, the injections are for the pain. They are morphine…I am not that sadistic."_

_Aro tapped his chin, lost in thought momentarily while Edward's body began to tremble uncontrollably. No longer was his physical reaction's due to the bitter coldness that enveloped him but instead his quivering was due to unfathomable fear._

"_I do hope that the morphine helps, for your sake, dear Edward. But not as much as I look forward to your survival," Aro cooed, as he snapped his fingers. Within seconds the room slowly began to fill with scarlet-eyed beasts. Male, female; each one licking their lips, bodies thrumming with excitement as they waited in anticipation for Aro's approval to advance._

"_W-w-what?" Edward could barely breathe as he stuttered. _

"_Well," Azrael leaned into Edward's ear. "You aren't the first Halfling we've experimented on…most of the others die during the change…or from the intense pain brought on from being bitten…over and over," he shrugged, uncaring. "I can't wait to see what you surprise us with…I know you won't let me down now, will you, _son_?"_

_Before Edward had a chance to growl out a response, Azrael had already sunk his teeth deep into the flesh of Edward's neck. Seconds later Azrael was pulling back, licking droplets of Edward's sweet nectar from his lips as Aro ushered the first swarm of vampires over…_

"_Come along my children…there's no sense in prolonging the suffering. I'm sure Edward would agree. Wouldn't you, Edward?"Aro said, leaning gracefully into Edward slumping frame. Slowly Aro lifted one of the large, pre-filled syringes and injected it directly into Edward's neck, and within seconds Edward's eyes were rotating behind their heavy lids. _

"_I promise, this should only hurt a little."_

I stood up, my movements slow, methodical. My body tense, a spring woven too tightly and ready to snap. I could feel the growl building in my abdomen, as my body shook with immense fury.

"You let them kill _him_?" My question came out scarcely audible as I slowly stepped towards the intruder. "_You_ let them kill _MY_ Edward, _MY_ mate?" My body was beyond trembling now. Even inhaling and exhaling was beyond my control.

"Look at me you pathetic piece of shit!"

But he wouldn't. He hung his head in obvious shame, his face hidden from my scrutinizing eyes. So, without so much as a second thought or wasted breath, I attacked; flinging myself into the darkened shadows, knocking Azrael to the ground with intensity. The sound of splintered wood echoed around me as I found myself straddled upon his chest, my dress now split at its seam, and my hands fisted within his hair ready to rip his head off.

My family, keen to the obvious commotion, quickly came to my aide. But through my reddened haze I could just make out Tanya's voice demanding they all return to the party and that she had things under control.

I felt the shift in the air around me as Tanya came to my side. With force she gripped my shoulder, effectively pulling my gaze to her. "Bella! What are you doing? _STOP IT!_"

"_Stop! STOP?_ Are you fucking out of your mind?" I wailed back at her, glaring at her hovering form. "He let them kill Edward, Tanya. He deserves to die!"

"Bella," she whispered. "_Look_."

"Wha-?"

It was at that moment that I realized the man beneath was in _no way_ defending himself. And when I looked to see why, the reality of my situation stared blatantly back at me.

"_Look _at _him_, it's not who you think," Tanya murmured, and my hands loosened from the strands of hair I had been gripping and slowly made their descent down his head and to his face.

I whimpered at the sight before me. Peering up at me, submissive and waiting, was _my_ Edward. There was no mistaking it. His eyes still as I remembered but now _alive_; crimson waves mingled with the emerald stone I was so used to seeing.

I ran my hands across his pale cheeks; my fingertips alight with fire as they traced the contours of his features.

"_Edward_?" I sobbed, inhaling deeply; allowing his scent to flow through me, fill me, and breathe life back into my dead heart. "I thought-"

"Don't," he said, placing his index finger upon my lips. "Just…let me look at you."

As Edward took me in, his hands worshipping my face, I sensed the departure of Tanya. It was as though the scuffle that had just occurred never took place as the music still pumped with enthusiasm in the backdrop.

…_you have no idea what I had to go through to see you again, love…_he thought as he brought his body forward and buried his face in my hair.

"H-how? How are you doing that?"

"Bella, _please_, there is so much to explain," he whispered, as he rose from the ground, his arms encircling me and bringing me with him. I hung onto him for dear life. There was no way I was letting him go, not now.

Edward walked us back to the corner I had been star gazing at not long before, and placed me atop the ledge. I could feel his body flush against me, and my body awakened with need.

…_I just need to feel you for a little while before I get into any of it…_he thought and I cringed at his newfound ability.

"Please…j-just…stop thinking. Because that shit…that shit is just…I can't even fucking process that shit right now, _ok_?" Edward snickered in reply, causing my body to weaken into his embrace. I pulled back slightly, beginning to bite the lacquer off my nails.

"This is just impossible," I said aloud, though speaking to myself. "Four years…four years, and not one word…not _one_ vision!"

"If you'll let me explain," he crooned, reaching a hand out to touch me.

With a heavy breath I stopped my biting and looked into his eyes. Edward ran his hand through his unruly hair before pinching the bridge of his nose. I watched as he quickly opened his eyes again, fear written deeply in its scarlet hue.

_That's how I left him last…_

"I didn't die," he said flatly.

"Obviously." Quickly, he shoved his hands into the pockets of his black suit.

"Why now though, Edward?" I whispered, my eyes fixed on the patent leather of his dress shoes. "What about Aro..._Azrael_? They just decided that it was alright to let you leave?"

Edward let loose a sinister laugh before showing me another image...

_Edward awakening after a few days from his torturous transformation... _

_Aro and Azrael gleefully waiting…_

_Edward ripping the chains from the wall with ease…_

_Edward's movements cat-like, precise, as he took Azrael down in one sudden swoop…ripping his throat out and decimating the remaining flesh within seconds…_

_Aro grinning proudly, pleased. "Welcome to the family, my son."_

"You see. I couldn't just come back. It took time…_training_. I needed to have complete control over my thirst and my powers," he stepped closer, his fingers lightly tracing the line of my jaw. "I inherited more than blocking abilities, Bella. I'm just as powerful as Aro, if not more so. You have to believe that I would have been here much sooner if I was able to."

I was stunned into silence. Edward _killed_ Azrael. But what was more stunning was that Edward was a _vampire. _

"You killed Aro, too?" I asked, stunned.

"Fuck no!" he laughed. "Aro…god, Bella, Aro has been my mentor. As fucked up as that sounds."

There were no words. Absolutely none that could describe the emotions running through my body. It was obvious that Edward had a story to tell, and I was hoping that he would tell it sooner than later. But all I needed at this moment was to absorb his presence before I lost him again.

"So why _today _then_, _Edward? What made you come now?" I looked up to see his jaw tighten, his profile looking out into the darkened horizon.

"I was ready…and I was invited."

"You were _what_?"

"Tanya had invited all of the Volturi. I am sure she didn't expect any of us to show…especially me." Silence thickened between us but I still could not tear my gaze away from him. Even though I wanted so badly to confront Tanya for doing what she did without even telling me about it…I knew that if she hadn't then Edward wouldn't be here. That thought broke me. Knowing he was only here temporary, for her.

"Bella, please, say something."

"I'm not really sure what to say, Edward." I pushed him lightly from between my legs and jumped down. I straightened my torn dress as best I could before running my fingers through my now knotty hair.

"It's just…it's been four years, Edward. Four years of agonizing heartache!" I began to pace before him. I didn't want to argue. I didn't want to question why he was here now and not yesterday. Or better yet, not a year ago. But I couldn't squash the jealousy that was rising within me and the anger…the anger for being so naïve to ever think that he could have possibly been going through as much pain as me.

"_Heartache_? Do you think the past four years weren't difficult for me?" he asked, grabbing my arms so that I stopped before him. "Do you think I haven't been suffering? There are rules, Bella…I'm not like I was before…I am so much _more_ now."

…_I went through hell to get back to you. I am forever indebted to the Volturi –Aro. I didn't have the choice…_he finished in thought.

"How long?" I asked hushed.

"What do you mean?"

"How long will you be here…before you have to go back?"

Edward pulled me close, his arms wrapping themselves around my body, one hand holding my head against his chest.

_Silence_.

"There is no time limit now, Bella. And there never will be."

I looked up, his head bent down as his finger came to rest beneath my chin, lifting it up so that our lips were mere inches from each other.

Edward closed his eyes, inhaling deeply before placing his lips upon my own. "You have no idea how much I've missed you, Bella," he spoke onto my lips, his breath sending shivers up and down my spine.

"I missed you too, Edward. I'm so-"

"Shh," he said, catching my words with his parted lips. As soon as I felt his tongue trace my lower lip I was undone. I allowed him entry, my hands finding comfort in the familiar hair at the nape of his neck. Standing on my tippy-toes, even with heels, our mouths became one. Our tongues danced back and forth, teeth clattered, and lips suckled and nibbled while our body's fought to get closer.

"Damn it, Edward! I need you. I've missed you so much," I growled, my hands slipping beneath his suits blazer, my fingers undoing the buttons of his shirt as I hungrily kissed down his jaw. But all too quickly my motions were stunted as Edward grasped my hands bringing them up to his now swollen lips.

With a smile he kissed my fingers worshipfully, stopping to pay more attention to my left ring finger more than any other.

"Love, we have plenty of time, there's no rush," he whispered, taking my ring finger into his mouth, sucking on it gently.

"Why is that?" I asked, memorized by his action.

"Because we have forever now."

"_Forever_, Edward?" I laughed, smirking at his fantastical ideals.

"Forever _and_ forever _and_ forever," he reiterated, peppering my face with soft kisses as he did so. I cupped his cheeks, removing his lingering lips from my flesh and let myself get lost in the face I had been missing for so long. This man, this…_vampire_, was no doubt my soul mate. And as if the world had righted itself on its axis at that very moment –everything had become abundantly clear.

The last four years were _never_ a means to an end, but something more. Something bigger than both Edward and I could have ever imagined possible.

It was the beginning. The beginning of _our_ forever. It couldn't be foreseen, or read through the minds of others, or even felt…it just _was_. And it was just getting started…

* * *

_Siiiigh…._

**My THANK YOU's**…so many of you were supportive beyond belief. AND in all honesty if it were not for your consistent support with your amazing reviews, I would have stopped writing this a long time ago.

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